Unbreak My Heart (17 page)

Sierra’s eyes were affixed to my mouth. “Not right this second. But I reserve the right to freak out afterward. So you’d better make this good.”

Of course she’d throw down a challenge. Such a fucking temptation to smash my lips to hers and devour her. Give her a preview of how explosive it’d be when we finally sated this hunger with more than just hot, grinding kisses.

And yet…that’s what she’d expect. I didn’t have to prove there was heat and passion between us. It’d been there when neither of us really knew what to do with it. Sierra needed a reminder of the other side of me, the tender side I’d only ever shown to her.

I pushed her hair back before I framed her beautiful face in my hands. I nuzzled her cheeks, letting the scruff on the edge of my jaw brush the corners of her lips.

Her soft, surprised moan flowed into my ear like a smooth shot of whiskey.

That
. Right
there
. I craved more of that.

I took my time aligning our mouths. Kissing the divot in her chin before I began to lightly tease my lips across hers. Each pass a little longer until the pressure of my mouth on hers was constant. No tongue, just languid dedication to relearning the shape of her mouth beneath mine. Even as my head spun with the incredible intimacy of this—the tightening of her fists in my shirt, her soft sigh gusting across my lips, the tiny squeak when I used my teeth—I committed every reaction to memory just in case this was all I ever had from her. I’d keep it with all the other memories I had of her, of us. She had no idea of the power those memories held for me.

We swayed together, the pace set by our bodies’ rhythms, not the music.

So addictive, this druggingly sweet exploration. The whisper-soft glide of my lips, taking in little sips of her breath from hers as she exhaled.

My tongue followed the seam of her lips. On the second pass, I pushed in deeper, my tongue connecting with her teeth. On the third pass, she opened her mouth fully and it was ON.

Lust told sweetness to take a fucking hike and poof—it was gone.

Desire ruled—until passion overtook common sense and then all barriers between us fell away as if they’d never existed.

Twisting my hands in her hair, I held on, feeling her fingernails digging into my shoulder blades as she clung to me because we were spiraling, spinning. Locked together and completely consumed by the hot, wet, greedy, balls-to-the-wall kiss. Kissing like we were already naked and about to hit the fucking sheets.

Soon. Fuck. Me. Please let it be soon. Because this is perfection.

Anything that intense can’t last. It shouldn’t last or it loses the impact.

Sierra sensed it at the same time.

The kiss ended.

But I felt like we’d finally begun.

“Boone,” she panted against my throat.

“I know, baby,” I whispered in her hair. “Me too.”

“Then you know I have to go.”

Jesus Christ on a jumbo jet. She had to…
go
? After that?

Dude. It’s not like she didn’t warn you.

I counted to ten. Then I managed, “You’re freaking out?”

“Yeah.”

“Why?”

“I thought I was ready. For you. For this.”

“You’re not?”

“I need some time to think.”

“Sierra. Christ, woman, you’re scaring me. Are you having second thoughts?”

That’s when she looked at me. “The truth?”

“Always.”

“You walked back into my life less than two weeks ago. We’ve been together half a dozen times. This is the first time we’ve had any intimate contact. And that? That was life changing. I’m pretty sure if I was already on fire and you asked me if I wanted more gasoline I’d say ‘yes please’ just to get me some more of that.”

“That’s the most flattering thing you’ve ever said to me.”

She poked me in the chest. “It wasn’t meant to be, jackass. I’m getting caught up in the whirlwind of you and when it stops and spits me out, I won’t know where—or who—I am.”

“I am not going anywhere this time.” I kissed her forehead. Her cheeks. Her mouth. “Don’t run. Please.”

“I’m not running, but this…reminded me of the last time we kissed. It reminded me that you have the power to break me.”

“Listen to me.” I trapped her face in my hands. “The only reason I came to Phoenix is because you’re here. There. I fucking said it. You. Are. It. For. Me. You always have been. So that power to fucking crush a heart to dust? Runs both ways.” I dropped my hands before I used them to shake some damn sense into her. I forced myself to step back. I forced myself to start walking away.

“That little confession isn’t helping clear my head, West,” she yelled at me.

I turned and smiled at her—not a nice smile. “It wasn’t supposed to. See you around, McKay.”

I
tossed and
turned for hours after I’d left the bar.

I’d known that Boone would kiss me. I’d wanted it. So when it finally happened tonight…I thought I’d prepared myself.

What a joke.

Reliving the sheer perfection of how thoroughly he’d kissed me was making my breath catch even now.

It was just a kiss.

No matter how many times I told myself that…I didn’t believe it.

It hadn’t felt like
just a kiss
.

Looking into Boone’s eyes, I knew it hadn’t felt that way for him either.

And then he’d told me the truth.

The only reason I came to Phoenix is because you’re here. There. I fucking said it. You. Are. It. For. Me.

So his kiss hadn’t been to remind me of the past; it’d been a promise for the future.

A future I never thought we’d have.

Because the first time he kissed me was also the last time I saw him. For seven years.

God. I didn’t want that to happen again.

I shut my eyes.

Every sight, sound, scent and feeling I’d had that night crashed over me. Sleep wouldn’t come but the memories did…

The bright moon
glow that night had sent silvery light across the clearing.

Seemed a little strange, Boone calling me out of the blue and asking me to meet him. I hoped it meant something more than he was bored.

I ignored the snarky voice in my head, asking why I went running every time Boone West crooked his little finger at me. But I hadn’t seen him since his graduation. He’d slipped back into the not-returning-texts zone. School had ended two days ago and my summer plans were still up in the air.

I put my car in park and killed the ignition. Butterflies danced in my belly. Where had this nervousness come from? I was out here with Boone. Mr. Trustworthy. Mr. Oblivious.

His butt rested against his motorcycle seat. His booted feet crossed at the ankle. His arms folded over his chest. He wore a super tight T-shirt which displayed the ripped muscles in his arms and the ridges in his lower abdomen. I’d seen that shirt on him a dozen times and every time I whispered a little
thank you
to the T-shirt gods.

Stop gawking at him.

Nothing wrong with being attracted to my best guy buddy.

Was there?

No. Especially when he didn’t have a clue how I felt.

I walked up to him, my hands jammed into the back pockets of my jeans. “You summoned me?”

Boone frowned at my attire. “Wasn’t tonight the dance?”

“No. It was last night.”

“Oh. Was it fun?”

“I don’t know. I skipped it.”

“But…you said that night at the lake you wanted to go.”

I shrugged. “Marin is at her grandma’s for a week so she wasn’t going. Besides, they probably only played country music.”

“You should’ve gone.”

But I knew you wouldn’t be there.

“You asked me here to chew my ass about a dance I didn’t go to?”

“No.”

“What are you doing out here, anyway? Did your bike break down again?”

“Funny. It was a great night for a ride. I lost track of time. When I pulled over, I realized I wasn’t far from your place.”

“So you called me.” Instead of just showing up at my house. That made no sense. Especially if Boone thought I was at the dance. What was going on with him? He acted…jumpy.

“You got any decent tunes in that piece of crap car you’re driving these days?” he asked.

The Mercedes was hardly a piece of crap and he knew it. Boone also knew that the only reason my dad had bought it was for the safety features, including an excess of air bags after the air bag in my first car failed to deploy during my car accident. “I’ll play music as long as you don’t bitch about what it is.”

“Deal.”

After I rolled down the windows, I plugged my iPod into the stereo system. I mimicked his pose against the car, standing opposite him.

Boone grinned when the music started. “Foo Fighters. Cool.”

“Don’t get used to it. The next song might be by Flogging Molly.”

“I don’t even know what the hell that is, McKay. You’re more
ur-bane
than me.”

“Right. Seriously, West, what’s up? It’s not like you to text me, demanding I meet you out in the middle of nowhere. Especially this late.”

He lifted an eyebrow. “Since when is ten late?”

“Since my dad grills me about where I’m going at ten at night and who I’m going with.”

“Did you tell him you were meeting me?”

“Yeah.” I smirked. “He said not to let you drive my car.”

“Smartass.” Boone paused and tipped his head toward the sky. “As much as I love how bright the moon is, I miss seeing the stars on nights like this.”

“Me too.”

Neither of us said anything for several minutes.

“But this moon-gazing shit is killing my neck.” He moved to lean next to me and my pulse skipped a beat. “Much better. So, what are your plans for this summer?”

“I’ve thought about becoming a carny.”

“Yeah? What’s the appeal? Getting hooked on meth? Hooked on pot? Hooked on fried food? Or is it getting to rip off little kids every day? Maybe you’ll grow a mustache and get a bad tattoo.”

I laughed. “You’ve weighed the pros and cons way more than I have. I was just in it for the unlimited cotton candy.”

“What’s option two for your summer?”

He was more persistent than usual, so I hedged, in case he had a specific reason for asking my plans—like he wanted to spend the summer with me. “I don’t know. It depends.”

“On?”

“How much my mom and dad argue over me and where I should be. My mom’s boyfriend bought a place in Paris with an extra bedroom, so she wants me to stay at least half the summer with her.” I shot him a sideways warning glance. “I haven’t mentioned this to my dad yet.”

“Why not?”

“I just found out yesterday. He’ll ask me what I want to do, and like I said, I’m not sure.”

“But he gives you a vote in your options?”

“Yes. What about you? Now that you’ve graduated, what are your plans?”

“Well, that’s the reason I asked you to meet me.”

My stomach performed a hopeful summersault.

But as usual, he didn’t elaborate. He just kept looking skyward.

“Boone? I’m lousy at guessing games, remember? So just tell me.”

“I won’t be here this summer because I joined the army.”

I gave him a ten-second pause and hip-checked him. “You have a bizarre sense of humor sometimes.”

He faced me. “I’m not joking. I joined the army.”

A sick feeling took root as I realized he was serious. Then I…exploded. “Why would you just up and do that?”

“It wasn’t an impulsive decision. I’ve been thinking about it for a while.”

“How long?”

“Almost three years. Since my youth forestry counselor suggested it when I was sixteen.”

And this was the first time he’d mentioned it? After all the time we’d spent together? “But we’re at war! The military sends the newest recruits over there.” Another horrible thought occurred. “You’ve got medical training, which means they’ll put you on the first cargo plane and drop you right in the middle of a combat zone.”

“Sierra. That’s what I want.”

“To get yourself killed?” I demanded.

“No, to help keep others from dying.”

“But you do that every day as an EMT.”

“It’s not the same. I can’t make a living as an EMT in rural Wyoming. I’m tired of being broke and there are a lot of things I’d like to do with my life that I can’t do if I’m stuck here.”

“Then go to college like normal people do.”

Boone scowled at me. “If I don’t have money for a car do you really think I’ve got money to go to college? Or that anyone will lend me the money?”

“Then we’ll ask my dad. He’ll float you a loan. Heck, he’d probably just give you the money since you saved my life.”

He pushed off the car. “I don’t want your money or your charity.”

“What? I’m only trying to help. You took that the wrong way.”

“Did I? What part of making it on my own is confusing to you? I have to do this. I
want
to do this.”

“So there’s no talking you out of it.”

Boone shook his head. “It’s a done deal.”

I wanted to scream at him, throw myself at his feet and beg him not to go, but that was the epitome of childish. Instead, I tossed off a breezy, “Fine. Whatever. Go be a hero. Get yourself killed. Later.” I sidestepped him and ducked around the front of the car, hoping to make it inside before my tears were obvious.