Unchained Memories (9 page)

“You’re a lifesaver,” Renee huffed as she carried Jake on her hip and guided Eva down the steps with her crate of doll clothes. “I’m hoping to feel like a new woman once I get my hair trimmed. I haven’t been to the salon in months.”

Charlotte had set up the appointment for her sister, knowing she wouldn’t do it on her own, even with encouragement. Although Charlotte had been showing up religiously on Saturdays to give Renee a well-needed break, Renee never took advantage by leaving the house. Instead, Charlotte had become her housekeeper, bill-payer—once she got the insurance money—grocery shopper and playmate for the kids, while Renee wandered through the rooms, supposedly doing chores. But at the end of the day, there was never anything to show for her efforts. And on some of those days, she would just disappear into her bedroom and sleep, her way to escape the nightmare she was living.

“After your appointment, why don’t you go shopping? There’s a great new boutique on Palmer Square. You’ll love it.”

Charlotte caught the glimpse of a sparkle in Renee’s eye when she mentioned shopping, but it disappeared just as fast. “I don’t need anything new. I’m not going anywhere.”

Biting her lip to keep from harping, Charlotte turned and focused on the towel she was folding. Apparently, Renee noticed her effort.

“I’m going back to work on Monday.”

Charlotte spun around to look at her sister. The annoyance on Renee’s face and in her voice did nothing to douse Charlotte’s relief. “Oh, Renee. That’s wonderful. I’m so glad. It’s really important to get some normalcy back in your life.”

“Yeah, yeah. I know. You’ve been in my ear for weeks.”

Eva dropped her crate of clothes at Charlotte’s feet. “Will you play dolls with me, Aunt Charlotte?”

“Of course, honey. In a little while. I want to straighten up the living room first. Maybe you can help me. We can play house. You be the mommy and I’ll be the dadd—”

Charlotte cut herself off, horrified. But the little girl didn’t seem to notice. She looked over to Renee.

“It’s okay to say the word. We won’t all fall apart.”

Charlotte wasn’t so sure where Renee was concerned, but she did seem better today than most Saturdays.

“Why don’t you get going?” said Charlotte, glancing at her watch. “You don’t want to miss your appointment.”

Renee bent down to set Jake on the floor near his favorite fire truck before slinging her purse over her shoulder. “Thanks for doing this. I won’t be too long.”

“If you change your mind about shopping, go right ahead. I brought work with me for when the kids go down for their nap.”

Renee chuckled. “Good luck with that. I haven’t had them on the best of schedules lately.”

With that, she headed out the door, leaving Charlotte in the middle of a war zone. Charlotte felt a tug on her sweater. Looking down, she almost gasped. Eva was the spitting image of her father. Huge brown eyes, dark curly hair, slightly arched eyebrows. Charlotte smiled. “Shall I be your daughter instead?”

Eva’s dark curls bounced on her head and she clapped in delight. “Okay. I want you to pick up all these toys and put them away. Right now.” Her sweet little voice took on Renee’s tone.

“Will you help me, mommy?” asked Charlotte, getting down on her knees to Eva’s level and pulling on her dress. Eva loved to wear dresses, even when she wasn’t going anywhere.

“Okay.” Eva sighed, putting her hands on her hips. “Jake, you need to help, too.”

Jake was busy pushing his fire truck around the room, making siren noises, and either didn’t hear his make-believe mom, or chose to ignore her.

It was best to let him be. Jake was in the midst of those terrible twos, and she didn’t want him pushed over the edge. Mini-tantrums were not her thing, since Charlotte had no clue how to handle them.

In a conspiratorial whisper, Charlotte said to Eva, “Let’s play house by ourselves. We’ll pretend Jake has a playdate with a friend.”

“No,” said Eva, very definitively. “He can be the daddy. He’s at work.”

“Perfect.”

For the next hour, Charlotte and Eva played house. Together they finished folding the laundry, put it away, picked up the toys, cleared the kitchen table and made the beds. While Charlotte did most of the heavy lifting, Eva was a dream in keeping her company. They’d kept their little game going, once in while veering off their original roles and taking on others like Mary Poppins and her friend, Bert. Even Jake came in and out of their pretend world, not exactly helping the clean-up process, but not hurting it.

When the house looked respectable, Charlotte offered a rest. “Why don’t we sit down on the couch, and I’ll read you a book?”

They both jumped at the chance and went over to their bookcase, each choosing what they wanted to hear.

“Take your shoes off,” Charlotte suggested, “and get your blankies.” They’d cuddle while she read, and hopefully they’d drift off to sleep. She absolutely needed to get to the Belton file, or she’d be working all day Sunday.

Jake climbed into Charlotte’s lap, and the little boy scent had her burrowing her nose in his soft, blond hair, the same color as his mother’s.

Charlotte read to them, feeling the warmth from their small bodies mingle with hers. She hadn’t really known them before Jason died. Sure, she’d been to their christenings and seen them for Christmas, but with her living on the West Coast and they on the East, their visits had been few and far between. Yet, the past few months had thrown them together, and Charlotte had fallen in love with them, and they with her. She had become the other important person in their lives. Even though she only saw them twice a week, they relied on her.

Her arms closed around them a little tighter, and a lump grew in her throat just thinking about their connection. How would she ever be able to leave? To go back to California?

She stopped reading and listened to their heavy, slumberous breathing. A smile took over her lips as well as her heart, and she just sat there, holding them close. She should ease away and lay them on each end of the sofa. Get to the work waiting in her briefcase. But that would be there later.

This feeling would not.

****

“Charlotte.” She heard her name echoing around her, then felt a touch on her leg.

Opening her eyes, she saw Renee smiling before her. An unfamiliar scene.

“You look great,” Charlotte managed, coming awake as Renee shifted the children off her body and to a lying position, covering them with their blankets. “What time is it?”

“Almost four.”

“Oh, no. I slept for over an hour.” Visions of working through the eleven o’clock news took over her fuzzy brain.

“You must have been tired. Were you out partying last night?”

“Hah.” Charlotte stood and stretched her cramped muscles. She hadn’t wanted to disturb the children, so she’d stayed in one position while they slept. “I wish. I worked late, then walked home and ate a frozen dinner. I got caught up in a movie though, and stayed up way past my bed time.”

Charlotte followed Renee into the kitchen where her sister put water in the teakettle and set it on the stove. “Your hair looks fantastic. I love the highlights. Were you there this whole time?”

Renee’s blue eyes lit up. “No. I went shopping. Thanks for the tip on that new store. I loved it.”

“What did you buy?”

Renee disappeared into the living room and came back with a shopping bag. “I decided to get myself a new suit for work.” She pulled a hangar from the bag and removed the plastic covering. A light pink jacket and skirt, cut to perfection, emerged. Then a navy jacket with matching pants and several tops.

Charlotte glimpsed a price tag. “Wow. Maybe I won’t be checking out that store.”

Renee laughed. “You’re a professional. I’m sure you pay this much for your clothes.” Shrugging, she continued. “I needed a lift and this worked. At least temporarily.” She held a white silk blouse up and smiled. “This looks so great on. I felt like a million bucks.”

Charlotte joined her in her temporary euphoria. “Isn’t it amazing how wonderful wearing new clothes can make you feel? I like this one, too.” Charlotte held up a navy, yellow and white sleeveless top. “It reminds me of a Matisse painting.”

“You should see some of the other ones they have. You would love them.”

The teakettle’s whistle pierced the air, and Renee ran over to turn off the flame and remove the offending object from its burner. “Shhh,” she said to the pot. “Don’t wake up the kids.”

Charlotte laughed at her sister’s reprimand. A glimpse of their past resurfaced momentarily, but the memories of growing up together extended only as far as their teens. As adults, they had never reverted to the childhood bond they’d shared. Their world together had been interrupted by their parents’ deaths. And even though they went to college in the same area, that one devastating event and its aftermath had severed their sisterly connection. How ironic another devastating event had pulled them together again. Maybe it was fate. If one believed in that sort of thing.

Renee placed two mugs of tea on the table, and Charlotte sat down with her sister, a relative stranger until recently. Yet, for the past four months, Charlotte had tried to put aside the deep-seated resentment over her sister’s choice to stay at Harvard, while Charlotte lay in a hospital bed in Princeton, all alone. After all, Renee was only three years older than Charlotte. She needed to accept Renee hadn’t been old enough or mature enough to take on the adult responsibility of tending to Charlotte. Arming herself with this hard-gained insight, she shook off the bitter disappointment.

“You work too hard.” Renee’s words startled Charlotte out of her thoughts.

“It’s part of the job. Besides, I have to pay my dues if I expect to succeed there.” Even though Charlotte had no long range plans to stay at Cooper, Smith, it wasn’t her nature to do anything less than one hundred and ten percent. Besides, she’d need good references when she left.

“Have you met anyone here? Made any friends?” Renee’s face showed concern.

“I have a friend at work. Annie Preston. She’s been at the firm for three years and knows her way around.” Charlotte shook her head. “The politics at law firms are unbelievable. But I guess that’s true anywhere.”

Renee nodded her agreement, but didn’t comment.

Charlotte considered telling Renee about Clay, but held back. Would it hurt her sister more if she knew Charlotte had a male friend, if she could call him that?

“What’s going on in that head of yours?” Renee’s brow crinkled.

“Nothing. I was just...thinking.”

“About what?”

Renee always could read Charlotte’s face, and if she was anything like she was as a child, she’d never let this go. Charlotte might as well save herself the persistent needling. “I did run into an old acquaintance a few weeks ago. He was one of the doctors who took care of me when I was in the hospital.”

A shadow crossed Renee’s face, as if raising the issue of Charlotte’s injuries and her six month stay at Nassau General affected her in some way.

“And?” Renee persisted.

“I had a crush on him ten years ago. I think I still do.” Charlotte’s cheeks burned at the truth of her statement.

“Ooooh. That’s interesting.”

“Why is that interesting?” Charlotte hadn’t meant to snap.

Renee’s smile faded. “Because you could use some male companionship. And if it works out, you may decide to stay in Princeton.”

Charlotte could have fallen off her chair. Nothing in their recent interactions would have led Charlotte to believe Renee cared one way or the other whether Charlotte stayed. Although, Renee did seem to appreciate when Charlotte showed up at her house. Charlotte was a convenient relative, someone who added well-needed order to her home and took the kids off her hands for a few hours, all while requiring the least amount of civility because they were sisters.

“You want me to stay?” Charlotte couldn’t help the negative connotation in her question.

“Of course. You’re my sister. We’re all we have.” Renee sipped her tea. “I know I haven’t been a delight to be around, but I really do look forward to seeing you. And the kids adore you.” She stared into her cup. “We haven’t been close for a long time. But you’ve been a rock these past few months. I don’t know what I would have done without you here.” Her blue eyes filled with tears as she looked across the table at Charlotte.

Words stuck in Charlotte’s throat and her heart ached in her chest. “Thanks for saying that.” Charlotte’s voice rasped with emotion.

She stood and walked around the table, needing human contact desperately. Renee entered her embrace, and they held tight to each other. Why had it taken ten years and another tragedy?

“Mommy, what’s wrong?” Eva stood in the doorway, rubbing her eyes.

Renee smiled and held out her arms to her. “Nothing, honey. I’m just so happy Aunt Charlotte’s here to help us.”

“Why are you crying?” Her little hands wiped the tears on Renee’s face.

“Sometimes when grownups are happy, they cry. I know it seems odd, but it happens.”

Charlotte completed their circle, and the three of them stood in the kitchen hugging for a long time.

When Eva started squirming to get away, they broke their embrace and headed to their respective places at the table while Eva went to play with her dolls.

“So tell me about your doctor,” said Renee, looking more at peace than she had in the past several months.

“There’s not much to tell. His name is Clay Montgomery. I ran into him at the Cancer Society Gala, and we went out to dinner a couple of times.” Charlotte felt a dull ache spread through her. “It will never work.”

“Why?”

“Because he’s a doctor, and I sue doctors. As a matter of fact, I have a case against Nassau General right now. We tend to disagree on the value of medical malpractice lawsuits.”

“Conflict makes for interesting bedfellows.”

“Renee!”

“What?” she asked, ever so sweetly.

Charlotte sighed. “I’m not going to change my career for him, and he’s not going to change his for me.” There was more to it than that, but what was the use in admitting to Renee she would never give her heart completely to someone because of her fear they would die? Even though Renee had lived it, she would probably think Charlotte was at best unreasonable, and at worst psychotic. Yet, she might be willing to put aside her psychosis if she thought there was a chance with Clay. A familiar stab twisted inside at the same unattainable wish she’d had as an adolescent. “We’re doomed.”