Unchanged (16 page)

Olivia heard the river before she saw it, rushing softly and constantly, a soothing sound. Emerging from the trees, she saw how it looked like oil and glittered with blue and white light beneath the half-full moon. She had played and picnicked near this same river all her life, but never at night and never this deep into the forest.

Near the edge of the water, she found a half-rotten log nestled in a pale blue swatch of moonlight. Sitting, she gathered the skirt of her nightgown close about her legs, feeling the chill of the air for the first time since leaving the house. She dared not put her toes in the water, knowing it was even icier.

Now that she was here, she wasn't sure why she had run this far from her home. Suddenly it seemed a stupid thing to have done, yet she could not have said she regretted it. Maybe she'd wanted an isolation more extreme than what the woods around town could afford her. Maybe she'd wanted somewhere to think, a place no one would disturb her. Somewhere to cry if she felt compelled to do so. Here, she could scream about how she hated Kennard and didn't want to marry him and no one would ever know.

Her eyes felt hot. She found she couldn't cry, though. She'd spent too much time forcing tears back to let them flow freely now.

A tiny gleam in the moonlight caught Olivia's eye. She looked for the thing that had shone, welcoming a distraction from her thoughts. At first she saw nothing and determined the gleam had been a reflection on the river, but then she saw it again. The little shine had come from an object on the ground just a few feet to her left. Curious, she rose from the log to investigate. The gleam disappeared. Frowning, she grazed her fingertips along the ground, feeling blindly. All she touched were twigs and leaves. She was about to give up when she felt something cold and hard, something metallic. She closed her fingers around the small object and brought it close to her face.

It was a necklace. A simple circle on a plain chain. It looked silver, though it would be easier to say for sure by light of day. She wiped away some of the dirt and grime, wondering who had lost the necklace and how long it had lain in the river mud, half buried and forgotten.

Olivia clutched it in her fist and looked at the dark rushing river. A shroud of moonlight broke through the clouds and fell upon her figure. She began to feel sleepy. She would start home now, before it was too late.

She saw him when she turned. She had no idea how long he had been watching her. It was a man, a strange man. His clothes were so ragged with holes and dirt it was a wonder they stayed on him. His tangled hair was crusted with dried mud. She couldn't tell the color of his skin for all the filth on it. Only his eyes were clear and bright as they stared at her, unwavering. She took a step back from their force, stopping only because she remembered the river behind her. She froze, wanting to run, but somehow she felt trapped, tangled in unseen vines, her feet buried in imaginary puddles of thick mud.

"You have something of mine."

His voice sounded deep and dark as shadows. It seemed to come from everywhere—from the trunks of trees, from the river water, from the ground beneath her feet. The air trembled in response to its timbre.

"I—"

She could not speak. She was too busy trying to figure out whether she should run. Would he chase her? Surely he knew the forest better than she did, judging by the state of his person, and would catch her almost instantly. But what if she ran and got away? Then she could climb back in the safety of her bed and forget she ever saw a stranger here.

"You have something of mine," he repeated.

The necklace. Of course. Olivia opened her hand and stared at the grimy jewelry. So this was what he wanted. Pulling back her arm, she threw it on the ground at his feet. "Here!" she shouted. "Leave me alone!"

Then she ran, hands clutching the skirt of her nightgown. She didn't stop until she'd reached the door of her home. Back in bed, the heaviness of her breath kept her awake until the sky was touched with orange.

~

Someone had come to the river. Close enough to touch the water. Close enough to push.

He opened his eyes, truly awake for the first time in an indistinct length of years. It seemed such a long time since a person had ventured so close to his part of the river. Such a long time since he had inhaled the fresh whisper of a drowned soul. His sustenance. His life.

The yew protested gently as he pulled his weight away from it. Flakes of bark rained off his arms and were lost to the damp earth. His bare feet were soundless on crushed leaves—he always knew just where to step. The forest was as much a part of him as his own skin.

The river was just ahead, trickling and sighing. He slowed his pace, catching sight of his next victim. His breath caught.

It was a girl with features edged in silver moonlight. Her hair rippled unbound to her elbows, framing a face that looked wistful and a little sad. She was dressed in white.

She was beautiful.

She looked so clean and out of place. He glanced at his arms, aware and ashamed of the dirt coating them for the first time.

Something within him cracked. The sound was like wood splitting and only he could hear it. Maybe his heart had broken. Did he have a heart? He must, because now he felt something beating madly in his chest, the weight of it almost unbearable. He felt terribly alive, filled with blood that was growing hot at the sight of the girl. She had awakened him and he knew he would never be made of wood again, not as long as she walked the earth.

He watched as she discovered a delicate chain in the mud. A treasure. He watched her stand. She meant to take the treasure with her, out of the forest, when she left.

He could not let her go.

Stepping out from the cover of trees, he opened his mouth to speak.

"You have something of mine."

~

The morning was quiet and edged with frost. Olivia found it hard to believe she had actually ventured out in such cold last night. What had she been thinking? She might have caught a chill and fallen ill, or worse. She had seen the hands of some of the men in town, careless men, missing fingers lost to the cold.

Her moment of madness had passed. She would no longer take risks with herself just because she felt unhappy about something.

She'd been helping her mother with last-minute sewing on the wedding dress but had pled a headache, not wanting to look at the thing any longer. Her mother had suggested fresh air without even glancing up from her needle. Olivia had escaped to pace behind the house, her eyes warily searching beyond the edge of the forest. Had she really seen a man in there last night?

"Olivia!"

It was Kennard, she knew without even turning to look. She couldn't help but roll her eyes. She had always thought him dull and oafish, but never more so than now, when they were about to marry. He seemed pleased with the arrangement, at least when he was not flirting with Olivia's friend Alette.

"I was just about to go back inside," Olivia said when he reached her. "I was helping Mother with the mending and I—"

She had glanced again into the forest, casually, but this time she saw a face. The face of a forest god staring out at her. When she blinked, it had disappeared into the green shadows.

"Olivia?" Kennard prompted.

"Oh . . . I was not feeling well. I came out to get some air. But I am fine now. Mother needs me." She made herself turn to look at him, her blue eyes wide and sweet, incapable of guile.

Disappointment dragged down Kennard's face. "I had been hoping we might take a walk together. To the beach perhaps . . . Some other time?"

What other time?
Olivia wondered.
We are about to marry!
"Yes," she said. "Now I must help Mother. Good day."

She gave a polite little curtsy and started to the back door. She heard Kennard's footsteps and hoped he wouldn't try to follow her into the house. Looking back, she saw him trudging along dejectedly. She didn't like him but she felt some sympathy for him. Just as there were not many men eligible for marriage, neither were there many women. He was stuck with her, too. Maybe she should make the best of the arrangement, as he seemed to be.

Once Kennard had disappeared between the houses, Olivia seized her chance and bolted for the forest.

She had not intended to crash through low bushes and fallen branches, her skirts tangling about her legs, but she'd been hastily eager to get away from town. Flustered, she glanced around to see if the forest man had witnessed her graceless entrance. He wasn't anywhere she could see. Had he been nothing more than a wistful illusion after all? Had she wanted to see him so badly she'd conjured his face out of leaves and shadows?

And why would she want to see him? She had no idea what he looked like, really. She knew nothing about him except he hadn't bathed recently and apparently dropped jewelry by the river. But he was . . . interesting. She wanted to ask him questions. Where was he from? Why did he live in the forest? What places had he been?

She didn't hear him coming. One moment the space between the trees was empty and the next he filled it. Olivia clapped a hand over her mouth to stifle a cry of surprise and pressed the other to her chest as her heart thumped uncontrollably. She managed to notice he'd scrubbed most of the mud from his face. His hair was shiny and slick, the ends soaking into the shoulders of his shirt. His clothes were the same holey, filthy ones he'd worn last night.

"Hello," the man said.

It took her a moment to draw in enough breath for a reply. "Hello. Y-you startled me."

"Forgive me. I wanted to see you."

"Did you?" She was incredulous. She'd thrown a necklace at him and run away, yet he had sought her out anyway. Was she flattered or frightened? She couldn't tell. "What is your name?" she asked.

"I am Ahaziel."

"I am Olivia." She hesitated. "You live in the forest?"

He nodded.

"For how long?"

"Always." Now it was his turn to ask questions. "Who was that boy?"

The question surprised her, as Kennard was the furthest thing from her mind. She opened her mouth and found she couldn't tell Ahaziel about the impending marriage. "Just a boy from town. My family knows his."

"Do you like him?"

Olivia shrugged. "Not particularly, but I do not hate him."
Not yet, anyway
, she added silently.

"Can I show you something?"

She turned wary as he gestured off into the trees, indicating she should follow him somewhere. Could she trust him? What if she went with him and was never able to come back? Maybe he would keep her in his forest cabin somewhere. Maybe she would do his washing in the river, assuming he had any other clothes to wash. Maybe they wouldn't even wear clothes.

Her cheeks flushed hotly as Ahaziel gestured again. "Please," he said.

Olivia relented. She stayed a few paces behind him as he led the way, promising herself she would run if she felt even a hint of uneasiness.

After a few moments they stepped out of the trees. Ahead of them was a cliff, a point that overlooked the ocean. They were high, higher than town, and the wind was salty and strong. It whipped Ahaziel's hair back and forth and stung Olivia's eyes.

"This is one of my favorite places," Ahaziel said.

He walked to the edge of the point and planted his feet firmly on the ground. He spread his arms, fingers splayed, palms open to the sea. Olivia walked hesitantly after him. Her eyes brushed over the lean muscles of his tan forearms. She watched as he tilted his head back, exposing his corded neck. She saw his chest rise with a deep breath. She felt uncertain and excited. She imagined the wind slipping beneath his clothing, caressing his skin. She wanted to have the same experience, to revel in the fierceness of the day just as he was. She wanted to feel everything he felt, to know everything he knew. She wanted them always to be near each other.

Standing beside him, she stole a glance at his profile. Rose-gray clouds silhouetted the slight outward curve of his nose. Dark lashes were soft on the sharp contours of his cheeks. His lips were full, softer than the rest of his face. His beauty, so strange and stirring, took her breath away. How had she not noticed it before?

After a moment she pulled her eyes from him and closed them. Her head rested nearly on her shoulders as she leaned it back. The wind was so strong she thought if she leaned forward now it would catch her, buoy her up until it felt like she was flying. She couldn't possibly fall. She stretched her arms out, imagining them as wings.

"Stunning," Ahaziel said.

Olivia opened her eyes and looked at him. His eyes were dark and changeable as mother-of-pearl. He moved his hand until his fingertips grazed hers.

She sighed. She had never experienced a more perfect moment.

~

The wedding preparations occupied Olivia for the next few days. She stood still, vacant-eyed, while her ivory dress was pinned and adjusted for the last time. She seemed to be the only one not bursting with excitement about the next day's wedding. Observing the town girls and mothers, one might think marriages were rare things. But someone was married every spring, sometimes in summer and even occasionally in winter, as she would be. She had known this time was coming since childhood, yet she felt wholly unprepared for it. Things were different.
She
was different.