Uncharted (Unexpected Book 3) (32 page)

I swallow past the watermelon-sized knot in my throat. Only my parents and siblings know about the accident, and we never talk about it. Those dark months are not up for discussion. Not the suicide attempts, the night terrors, or the fixation I have to protect them, as I fear life will continue to take away from me for what I did.

“I met Norah a couple of years later, only a few weeks before my twentieth birthday. She had a son, Hunter. I suddenly had a family. But then she died and I lost both of them.” I skip every other detail, how I hurt Norah by not loving her enough, breaking all the promises I made to her and betraying her each time I speak to Pria, each time we make love and I write a new song. “The last time I spoke to her, I made a lot of promises. That I would fight to keep Hunter with me… that I’d only have sex with skanks I don’t care for. That while I fuck them, I’d never kiss any of them.” Pria flinches and I touch her hand. “That I wouldn’t talk to the girl who inspired the best songs I’ve ever written. I owe it to her, Pria.”

She squeezes her eyes shut. “You didn’t write any songs for her?” she asks in a shaky voice, her eyes barely glancing my way. I shake my head. “Who’s the girl that you wrote those songs for?” Her entire body slumps.

“You seriously have to ask, Twinkle? All of them were for you.”

Her head snaps, her eyes meet mine. “Then I’m confused about everything. Why not try to be something real?” Her strained voice clenches my stomach. Pria doesn’t get it, or maybe I did a shit job of explaining myself. “You still love her?”

I drop my head, refusing to answer that question. There’s so much I want to say but I can’t. Like confessing that it kills me to keep that promise alive when she’s around me because the taste of each part of her body is forever ingrained in my head ever since the first time we kissed. That I want to sample her mouth again. That I couldn’t love Norah the way she deserved because Pria had taken my heart and my soul with her. A glazed look of despair spreads over her face, but she composes herself within a couple of breaths.

“I wish I would have known all this. At some point, between ‘I want your ass’ and ‘be my booty call.’” Pria rests her head on top of her knees. “I never had a chance; neither to escape my attraction to you, nor escape the truth—that you’ll never love me again.”

“Twinkle.” The empty word replaces everything that I want to say, but instead I break the last promise for Pria.

I pull her body roughly against mine as I hear her cry. I break my promises, my rules, and everything to give her what she needs tonight—what we both need before she leaves me. My mouth swoops down to captures hers, losing myself in a longing-filled slow kiss. Blood pounds in my brain, a fast drum pattern takes over my heartbeat. My cock pulses against my zipper, trying to rip the pieces of metal to liberate itself.

“I don’t want to be just the one for the night.” She breaks the kiss while pushing my torso with her forearms. “I can’t, Jacob. Not anymore.” She sobs again.

“One last time, Twinkle. Please,” I beg her.

Muffling her response with a kiss, I scoop her from the floor and carry her to my room, shedding her clothes and admiring her perfect body. I move over her, claim her full lips as my fingers slide inside her opening. I kiss her without restraint, forgetting the past, ignoring what the future and life will bring. The fantasy, the one we made up in a whimsical moment, exists for tonight. The two of us living together, with a half-dozen children and two dogs.

Her moans of pleasure rip through the sadness as her insides clench my fingers. I’m on the brink of coming just by listening to her. The urge of being inside her pushes me off the bed. I strip my clothes off, then pull open the drawer of my nightstand and growl.
Fuck!
I’m out of condoms.

“I’m clean.” My resigned, exhausted voice mirrors my emotional state of mind. My last chance to be with her is ruined because I decided that if it wasn’t Pria, I wouldn’t fuck ever again. “Since my first time I’ve used protection. Would you allow me to not use one tonight?” A sobbing yes is all I need to thrust inside her. For one night we both pretend to be what we can never be.

“Yeah?” A raspy voice answers on the other line. “This better be good. I’m in the middle of my beauty sleep. What do you need, Jacobo?”

“Jacobo?”

“That’s Jacob in Spanish. Ben taught me that,” Mae laughs. “Now talk, why are you calling me in the middle of…nope, it’s five o’clock in the morning. Do you want my sister’s hand in marriage? Because if that’s the case, you need to send me a list of what’s in it for me?”

“No. Does Ben know…that you’re sick?” I couldn’t think of anyone better to discuss this with than Maeve Walker. During the funeral’s reception, we met a guy who claims to be her boyfriend. Matthew gave me the inside scoop. She met Ben back in college, and they’re talking about moving in together. However, she doesn’t want to mention anything to Pria yet. That’s pretty serious, but even more when living with Mae includes medications, therapies, nebulizers, and other shit that makes it obvious she has a very serious condition. But does he know that she could die today?

“Your question is does Ben know?” She chuckles after repeating it. “He’s aware, of course. What kind of bitch would I be if I didn’t disclose that? The better question is, why are you asking?”

I tell her parts of my story after my weekend with Pria, including about Norah.

“Hmm, that’s fucked up, and a huge cross for you to carry with you for all these years. Pria says that everyone deals with loss in different ways.” She takes a couple of shallow breaths. “Let me head to the kitchen for some water.”

The sound of movement, random
beep
sounds, and water running last for a couple of minutes before she comes back on the phone.

“I’m terrible at losing my loved ones.” Her breathing is more uniform. “But I guess it’s because all my life I’ve been preparing myself for my own death. Yes, I fight to stick around, following my mother’s advice, but I have a condition that can stop my breathing right now—or in another fifty years.

“We all have one guarantee. We’re going to die.” This woman isn’t answering my questions, only bringing me down. “Mom kept me inside our clean house so I’d live. But I never lived. Please, don’t misunderstand what I’m about to say. I love Mom and I’m grateful for everything she sacrificed. Nonetheless, once she died, I learned something of value. What I do with the rest of my life is up to me, not to her, or to the promises she made me make on her dying bed. You didn’t kill anyone, Jacob. It was an accident. Promising a woman who
lied to you
that you’ll never love again was stupid…even more when you’ve always been in love with your college sweetheart. Nonetheless, you have to set my sister free. We agreed. She needs to go.”

“Thank you, but this doesn’t help me.” I push myself off the wall and walk toward the glass room.

“Then you didn’t hear a word of what I said, Jacob,” she utters with an exasperated voice. “No, you didn’t
want
to hear what I said. Think about it. We’re on for tomorrow, aren’t we?”

“Yes, I won’t break that promise, Maeve Walker.”

I hear her sigh of relief come through the line. “My sister was right from the beginning, you’re one of the good guys.”

Lot of good it’s done me. I have no fucking idea how to fix my life.

I grab my bike keys, my helmet, and my jacket from the closet, but before I open the door, my brother enters.

“Where are you going?”

“I have shit to do. Pria stayed for the night, so you might want to make yourself invisible until she leaves. Did you do what I asked for?”

“You’re never giving up that penance.” His jaw hardens. “I can’t understand you. Why did you get her back in your bed? No, wait. She’s the only girl you’ve ever had in your bed. Doesn’t that strike you as strange? I wouldn’t know, because I haven’t found anyone who I still want to see in my bed the next morning. But you have, twice—Pria. I’ll tell you again what we have both said for a while now—AJ and I—yes, you were an irresponsible kid. But it was an accident. You didn’t
kill
anyone. As far as the other issue…” He points at my crotch. “There’s adoption, and I offered my shit. It can make babies for both of us. Maybe I don’t like to share my toys, or shit that doesn’t matter. But I’ve always shared the important stuff with you. Why not that?”

I love my brother for what he is offering, but I wish he could see that it wouldn’t be the same. Yes, our DNA is similar. If I were to father a child though, I would want to know it was mine.

“Because they’d be your children, not mine.”

“That’s how Gabe and Chris made us—by finding some great lady who decided to share the joy of being a parent and gave our fathers her eggs so they could create us. That’s the same way you can have your own children. They’ll be smarter and strikingly hotter than if you gave your shit anyway.”

“It’s more than that, Matthew.” I’m about to open my mouth, but he shakes his head.

“Don’t, dude. Don’t bring Norah into this conversation because you know how I feel about her. For starters, she’s your Porter to AJ, the Lindsay to Gabe.”

“She was nothing like Porter.”

“Not in the abusive-junkie way. More like the one person you fell in love with, but she is not your other half. Walker is your other half. Pria is what Papi means to Gabe, the Mason to AJ. Jacob, you said it yourself the moment you saw her; you two are meant for each other—it’s written in the fucking stars, maybe next to Orion.”

We need this. She needs this. Maeve was right about one thing. It is time to let Pria go.

“I have to do this. Are you in or not?”

He gives me a sharp nod and disappears from the foyer.

“Stop worrying about the house.” Maeve sits on my bag as I try to close it. “The agent says it’s in great condition. The Deckers’ contractor did a great job within a couple of weeks. After paying them for what they spent, I’ll deposit half of whatever money we make out of it.”

“No. Keep the money. I have enough. Where are you moving to?” It’s been two weeks since the funeral and she’s been staying with her boyfriend. “With Ben?”

Ben is some guy who showed up at the funeral and wanted to beat Matthew for holding my sister’s arm. They’ve been dating for some time, but broke up a couple of days before Dad died. Now they’re back together and he’s not going to let her break up with him again. She’ll give me the entire story once I’m out of the States, she says.

“Not sure, but I’ll find a place, Cypriana.” She stands up and hugs me again. “Concentrate on your trip. I want you to send me pictures, lots and lots of pictures. Every day, every hour.”

“Are you going to continue working for Mason?”

I cut ties with the Deckers and the Bradleys after the funeral. Not willingly. The next morning after Jacob and I had that crazy confession-slash-passionate night, I found the bed empty, and a colorful note with one word.

★

Sorry

★

I woke up to several emails. Google alerts with Jacob’s latest indiscretion, his drunken night and pictures of the nameless girl he decided to fuck. I jumped out of bed, dressed, and headed to the office looking for some sort of explanation. The man who Mae and I saw ten years ago in front of the Decker’s old apartment stopped me. I couldn’t forget those same gray eyes. That scary face.

“This is for you.” He handed me a box with my belongings and his card; Arthur Bradley. “Call me if you have any questions. Please refrain from contacting them.”

“Thank you,” were only words I managed to say.

I received a letter signed by Christian Decker firing my company. They no longer required my services, but appreciated the work I had done for them. The amount they’d given me, which they disclosed in the letter, was identical to what they had paid me for the past months, including the retainer. In order to receive the money, I had to sign several confidentiality agreements, ensuring I wouldn’t release any personal information about the family, addresses, or phone numbers. It’s as if they stopped trusting me and I had become this unknown entity, a pariah that would betray them the moment they turned their backs.
Why?
I wouldn’t have. I love them all. It saddens me that they went through that whole process to get rid of me, to kick me out, to take away the security blanket of love they had given me.
Is there something wrong with me?
Just like when Mom died. The people I thought loved me turned me away. Left me.

After making the hefty deposit into my account, I sent a text to all of them apologizing for whatever I did wrong, and thanking them for everything they had done for my family and for me since the moment I met AJ.

“Yeah, the beef they have is with you, not me,” Maeve offers. So much for sisterly solidarity—bitch. “Anything else? Your flight leaves in less than three hours. We have to be at the airport two hours before, and I drive like an old woman.”

At least she’s driving me and not sending me in a cab. I glance at her, worried that she’ll be all alone while I’m gone. I swallow my pride, though, and send a text before I take my carryon bag to the car.

Twinkle: I’m leaving town. Can you please keep an eye on my sister?

Jacob: Sure.

Sure
is the saddest word I’ve read in a long time. I wasn’t expecting, “Please don’t go, I love you.” However, something warmer would’ve been appreciated. My heart needs some TLC, the same heart he left out in the cold to freeze two weeks ago.

It takes more than an hour for my sister to drive all the way to the airport. She drops me off at the curb, gives me a quick hug, and makes me promise I’d only come back to the States if there’s a real emergency.

“What kind of emergency?” I question her logic. “Like you having a hangnail?”

“An earthquake, a terrorist attack, a tsunami.” I hug her and shake my head. “You have to forget that I’m sick. Ben’s a doctor and…we’ll take care of each other for as long as it’s possible. It’s time to be Pria…or Ana. Choose one and be happy.”

“Ma’am, I’ll have to ask you to move your car.” A police officer approaches and taps Maeve.

“Bye, Mae.” I kiss her cheek, hug her, and turn around. “I’ll miss you.”

“We love you, Pria.” She waves, and I don’t understand who this
we
she’s talking about is. Maeve might not realize that it is only her left in my life. I have been abandoned by those I had thought loved me.

I grab my boarding pass and my passport and head to the security line. The line takes longer than expected, and as I’m slipping my flats back on, I realize I board in twenty minutes. I hurry through the airport and skip the pit stop at the shops I’d planned. It’s a matter of minutes when I finally reach the gate. Scottsdale, reads the electronic board.

“Miss Cypriana Walker, please head to the airline counter with your boarding pass.” I have to look into changing my name.

Dragging my feet toward the counter, I show them my boarding pass and they exchange my seat 23E for 1A.

“There’s been a mistake.” I slide the paper through the counter back to the lady. “I didn’t pay for the upgrade.”

“They did.” She points behind me.

I turn around and there’s a group of people I thought I’d never see again. Confusion, sadness, and plain stupid tears slam against me in an instant.

“I thought—” A sob escapes me.

“So, we fire you. What’s the big deal?” Ainsley takes a few steps and hugs me. “You’re my best friend. Never forget that. We had to do it because we love you.”

“It’s all about tough love.” Maeve’s voice drags a chuckle. “Yes, I worked with them and for them, little sister.”

“That was a lot of money.” I turn to Christian Decker. “You didn’t have to. I failed you, and firing me without pay would’ve been enough.”

He hugs me too. “Sweetheart, you didn’t fail. Life happens, and the amount was set by Jacob and Gabe, not me.”

I search around, but he isn’t here. Only his parents, Mae, Ainsley, Mason, and Matthew.

“Attention, passengers: boarding flight 2678 to Scottsdale. We’re preparing to board our first class passengers and elite members,” the lady at the gate announces.

Everyone hugs me and wishes me a nice trip. They hand me some envelopes and instructions in case I get lost or need help. Hugs, kisses, and tender goodbyes made my go-away pity party a happy fail.

“You promised you wouldn’t give up on him.” Matthew hugs me. “Don’t forget that…wait for him.”

“But, I’m done.” I touch his cheek and give him a kiss. “We’re not meant to be together, Matthew.”

“Well, then you shouldn’t have stolen his soul in the first place, or at least you should’ve returned it this time around. You seriously have it, you know that, right?” I shake my head and snort, trying to laugh and cry with his crazy talk. “Go, find yourself and then come back to us. Be careful and call if you need us.”

“Where is he?”

“He’s always with you.”

Jace: Stay safe, Twinkle.