Uncle John’s Curiously Compelling Bathroom Reader (82 page)

Read Uncle John’s Curiously Compelling Bathroom Reader Online

Authors: Bathroom Readers’ Institute

2. MYSTERY JOB

Brian works at a library.

3. SIDE TO SIDE

The river was frozen.

4. SPECIAL NUMBER

8,549,176,320
It contains each number—zero through nine—in alphabetical order.

5. TIME PIECES

An hourglass. It is filled with thousands of grains of sand.

6. WORD PLAY

If you remove the first letter of each word and place it on the end of the word, it will spell the same word backwards.

* * *

“Everything flows and nothing stays.” —
Heraclitus

Only father & son to hit back-to-back home runs in major-league baseball: Ken Griffey Sr. & Jr.

BONUS PAGE: CAT-ENGLISH DICTIONARY

Somehow we wound up with an extra page. So we thought we’d use it to help you improve your interspecies communication skills.

“I’m hungry.”
Meow
.

“I’m not hungry.”
Meow
.

“Feed me.”
Meow
.

“Don’t feed me
that
.”
Meow
.

“Hey! That’s
my
seat.”
Meow
.

“You want me to go in
what
box?”
Meow
.

“This litter box has a plant in it.”
Meow
.

“Let me out.”
Meow
.

“Let me in.”
Meow
.

“Let me out.”
Meow
.

“Let me in.”
Meow
.

“I just want to look out the open door.”
Meow
.

“Here, I killed this sock for you.”
Meow
.

“The dog did it.”
Meow
.

“Please accept this disemboweled rodent as a token of my esteem.”
Meow
.

“Stop calling me Fluffy. The name is Butch.”
Meow
.

“Personally, I think
Citizen Kane
is overrated.”
Meow
.

“Hey, let’s run over there.”
Meow
.

“Now, let’s run back.”
Meow
.

“What was I supposed to do? The bird was
asking
for it.”
Meow
.

“Hey, watch me knock everything off this shelf.”
Meow
.

“Now,
that’s
a hairball!”
Meow
.

“Your face makes an excellent pillow.”
Meow
.

“I’m so lonely. Why don’t you have 50 cats like crazy Mrs. Jones?”
Meow
.

“Cram it, clowny. I don’t do tricks.”
Meow
.

UNCLE JOHN’S BATHROOM READER
CLASSIC SERIES

Find these and other great titles from the
Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader
Classic Series online at
www.bathroomreader.com
. Or contact us at:

Bathroom Readers’ Institute
P.O. Box 1117
Ashland, OR 97520
(888) 488-4642

NOW AVAILABLE!

THE LAST PAGE

F
ELLOW BATHROOM READERS:
The fight for good bathroom reading should never be taken loosely—we must do our duty and sit firmly for what we believe in, even while the rest of the world is taking potshots at us.

We’ll be brief. Now that we’ve proven we’re not simply a flush-in-the-pan, we invite you to take the plunge: Sit Down and Be Counted! Become a member of the Bathroom Readers’ Institute. Log on to
www.bathroomreader.com
, or send a self-addressed, stamped, business-sized envelope to: BRI, PO Box 1117, Ashland, Oregon 97520. You’ll receive your free membership card, get discounts when ordering directly through the BRI, and earn a permanent spot on the BRI honor roll!

If you like reading our books…
VISIT THE BRI’S WEB SITE!
www.bathroomreader.com

• Visit “The Throne Room”—a great place to read!
• Receive our irregular newsletters via e-mail
• Order additional
Bathroom Readers
• Become a BRI member

Go with the Flow…

Well, we’re out of space, and when you’ve gotta go, you’ve gotta go. Tanks for all your support. Hope to hear from you soon. Meanwhile, remember…

Keep on flushin’!

Table of Contents

Title Page

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Uncle John’s Curiously Compelling Bathroom Reader (82 page)

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