Uncle John’s Presents Mom’s Bathtub Reader (35 page)

Mothers raising kids in the heart of Africa may have a unique lesson for the rest of the world.

D
on’t all parents wonder how to raise kind, thoughtful children with healthy self-esteem? The answer to all their questions may lie deep within the equatorial rain forests of Africa with the Aka.

The term “Aka” means “human,” and these very humane humans are a tribe of pygmies. Adult Aka males usually reach a height between four to five feet. They once roamed most of central Africa, but now they make their home in the forests of the Central African Republic (C.A.R.) where they keep a thousands-year-old nomadic hunting-and-gathering tradition alive.

Under a canopy of foliage, the Aka hunt for game and gather berries, edible roots, protein-rich termites and caterpillars, and wild honey harvested from high trees. Their clothing is made of bark, and their housing from leaves and thatch, all taken from the forest. Among their neighbors are the chimpanzees, lowland gorillas, and forest elephants.

From time to time the Aka also entertain Western anthropologists like expert Dr. Barry S. Hewlett of Washington State University, who has studied this pygmy tribe’s unique way of life and raising kids. Hewlett and others
have found that Aka mothers bring up their children in a way that encourages a peaceful, cooperative society.

Aka moms and babies are literally very close. As she does her housekeeping and cooking chores or goes into the forest to forage, mom will carry her baby in a sling strapped across her chest. Aka babies rarely are given a chance to have a good, long cry. As soon as they show signs of distress, either their mother or one of her close female friends is right there to rock them. Even at night, when she catches her forty winks, the baby remains physically close, resting beside her.

Dad is happy to be just as affectionate as mom. An Aka dad spends much of his time within close reach of his children and is always ready to take over the hugging, kissing, or cleaning of baby. With the amazing support system that dad and female friends or relatives provide, an Aka baby is sure to have his or her needs met on demand!

As they grow older these children are continually protected and affectionately indulged. They become part of a close-knit community that then takes on the task of teaching them to hunt and forage in the forest. There are few punishments and almost no beatings of children. In Aka society, beating a child is grounds for divorce.

According to Dr. Hewlett, the Aka may be a living embodiment of “attachment theory,” which proposes that an infant’s experience of mothering can influence the way a child relates to the world. For example, an attentive
mom who promptly cares for her infant’s needs creates a child secure in his environment, who trusts caregivers and the people in the world around him. In contrast, a cold or unresponsive mother can produce an anxious or aggressive child who lacks the ability to trust. According to attachment theory, the supernurturing Aka moms make their kids prime candidates for growing into secure, trusting individuals who are calm and peaceful as opposed to overly anxious or aggressive. And that’s just the type of people that the Aka appear to be.

The cooperative Aka have no tribal headman or chief. Instead, they spread power among men and women in the small hunting bands. They share food and cooperate rather than compete. They use humor, tradition, and ritual to make group decisions. And they settle grievances in the same way—with cooperation and without aggression or violence. The worst punishment the community gives is usually to ignore someone. The Aka avoid battles that could tear their close hunting alliances apart. Because of the secure start Aka children have in life, they are able to carry over this peaceful, trusting way of life to adulthood. The United Nation Development Program describes Aka pygmies as a “joyful people.” And that joy could be the result of the way Aka moms nurture their kids all day, every day.

Though the world wants to keep learning from the forest people, sadly, the Aka are under siege. C.A.R.’s forests are exploited by loggers, and murdering bands of militias have turned the country into one of the most dangerous places on the globe.

As the great African forests disappear, their people and traditions may disappear forever, but if the world can somehow help the Aka protect their forests, they may save themselves. Then Aka moms could teach the world more about fostering sharing, compassion, and nonviolence—not a bad deal.

“If swimming would make his daughter grow up to look like Esther Williams, then father was willing to pay for the lessons.”
—International Swimming Hall of Fame

B
y the time she retired from film in 1961, Esther Williams had swum her way through 26 movies and into the hearts of American moviegoers. Young girls across the nation begged their parents for swimming lessons after seeing an Esther Williams’s film.

Esther Williams was born on August 8, 1923, in Inglewood, California, a suburb of Los Angeles. It was Esther’s mother, along with the Parent Teacher Association, who convinced the city to provide a swimming pool for the neighborhood. Esther learned to swim from her sister. Soon she was spending all of her time at the pool. In order to pay for swimming time, she counted towels in the locker room. During lunchtime, when the pool was virtually empty, lifeguards taught her more advanced swimming techniques. She even learned the butterfly stroke, which was not usually taught to girls at that time. At the National Senior Outdoor Championship in 1939, she led her 300-meter and 400-meter medley relay teams to victory by being the first woman to use the butterfly stroke in competition. By the age of 18, she had won four U.S. championships in breast-stroke and freestyle. For the 1940 Olympics, she was
America’s gold-medal hope. Unfortunately, Williams never competed because the games were canceled when World War II broke out.

After seeing Williams’s picture in the newspaper, Billy Rose invited the young athlete to audition for his San Francisco Aquacade review, a musical performed by hundreds of swimmers and divers with singing and special effects. Rose handpicked Williams to star opposite Olympian and screen star Johnny Weissmuller. Swimming in the Aquacade at the 1940 World’s Fair, Williams caught the eye of MGM moguls.

MGM quickly put the 18-year-old under contract and she made her film debut opposite Mickey Rooney in
Andy Hardy’s Double Life
(1942). Two years later, she was starring in
Bathing Beauty
(1944), Hollywood’s first swimming movie. Williams soon became one of the top-10 box office attractions. Her trademark aquatic musicals were wildly popular. By the end of World War II, she had become a pinup favorite with returning GIs.

Even with her busy film career, Williams found time to have children. She continued to work through all of her pregnancies until about the fourth month when she would get too sick. Sadly, during her fourth pregnancy, Williams’s grueling schedule did take its toll and she miscarried.

“I don’t know to this day how I managed to fit into those bathing suits when I was pregnant,” she says, “but I did . . .
somehow I stayed a size 10 through it all.” Even today, she refers to each child by the movie she was filming before they were born. She was pregnant with Benjamin during
Neptune’s Daughter
(1949), Kimball during
Pagan Love Song
(1950), and Susan during
Easy to Love
(1953).

Williams taught her children to swim soon after birth. “One of the reasons I gave them this gift of swimming so early in their lives was because I loved having them with me in the water. And when I saw them take to it, it was a shared joy that we had in common.”

From early on, Williams knew that her movie career wouldn’t last forever: “I mean, how many swimming movies could they make?” In 1958, she began a swimming pool company specializing in aboveground pools. Thirty years later, she and husband Edward Bell launched the Esther Williams Collection of fashion swimsuits.

Williams started designing her own swimsuits when she realized that the designers for her movies didn’t swim. She never asked for screen credit, but all of her swimsuits and many of the dresses she wore on the silver screen were her own designs. Aiming at a broader market, her designs are for more mature women. Some were even based on her classic costumes. “Somebody has to give a little thought to the woman who has nursed a baby and I want to apply my knowledge of what feels good in the water for that woman,” she said.