Chess was right. She did crave the act of submission. She didn’t know why. The whys didn’t trouble her. It was simply how she was wired.
But…deprived herself? No. Philip had deprived her.
He
had uncollared her.
She remembered her Master allowing her to kneel by his side.
“Stay right there, as still as you can. You have no idea how much pleasure it gives me just to look at you.”
His admiration made her feel so proud. So loved.
Then, without explanation, he’d taken it all away.
Chess’s voice brought her back to the moment. “That’s not all you’ve robbed yourself of. You’ve lost weight. You’re pale. It’s clear you’re not taking care of yourself.”
Heat moved up her neck to her face in a mix of mortification and anger. She had her vanity like any woman. When a man looked at her, she wanted him to take note of her appeal, not her shortcomings.
Mia flashed Chess a poisonous glare. He stood casually, resting his butt against the table, his arms crossed over his chest. He looked back at her, evincing neither guilt nor discomfort.
She turned to him. Her lips tingled, and her hard nipples thrust against the satin corset. Again, her body reacted to him while her mind rebelled. “Why did you have me come tonight?”
He straightened, his arms falling to his side. “To see if you had the courage to move forward. Would you like another Dom, Mia? It can be arranged.”
Was he playing the part of kinky matchmaker? Or was he—
“You? You would be my Dom?”
His head dipped. “Yes. I’d enjoy that.”
Mia was stunned. Part of her felt a ridiculous thrill. The way a girl with geeky eyeglasses would feel if a popular high-school jock asked her to the prom.
No. She wasn’t a geek. Hadn’t Master Philip told her that again and again? His voice echoed in her memory: “
You are beautiful, Bella Mia. Don’t let anyone ever make you think you’re not.”
Those words gave Mia the courage to face him without embarrassment. “Why didn’t you just ask me? Why go to so much trouble to get me here?”
“When would I have had the chance? You haven’t been to Restraint in months. I couldn’t do it over the phone. And I certainly couldn’t have asked you in the middle of Meyers Park.”
She remembered running into Chess in the park. She’d been surprised at the coincidence. But maybe it wasn’t a coincidence after all.
“So I’m asking you now,” he said. “What’s your answer, Mia?”
The thrill she felt before vanished and was replaced by a stomach-churning fear. Not that Chess frightened her. Well, he did, but not because he was dangerous. She’d never had any Dom but Philip.
And he let you go.
“A Dom just spoke to you, sub.” Chess’s hard tone startled her, reminding her where she was. Who
he
was. “I want an answer.”
“I’m not ready…” She hated how thready her voice sounded, how hesitant.
“Don’t lie, Mia. Not to me. Least of all to yourself.”
Anger slashed through her. After a few minutes of conversation, he thought he knew her.
“You’re more than ready. You’re just afraid. You’d cheat yourself, cheat both of us, because of a little fear. Chess came to her, so close she felt the warmth of his body, and she shivered in the chill of a fever. “You want to submit. By submitting to me, you’ll submit to your own desires. To your own deepest self.”
Yes. So true. But admitting it made her feel somehow unfaithful to Philip.
Get over it, Mia! He dropped you. How long do you plan to moon over him?
Hadn’t she told herself just the other day the pity party was over? That she should move on with her life?
What better way to do it than with a new Dom? A Dom like Master Chess, who never lasted long with any sub, who never got attached. He’d play with her and move on to the next in line. His heart would not be engaged, and neither would hers. No chance of being hurt.
Nervously she licked her lips, glancing at Master Chess. Something flickered between them. Was it sympathy she saw in his eyes?
No, she was imagining things. She straightened her spine, thrust back her shoulders, and made her decision. As gracefully as she knew how, she sank to her knees in the slave position: knees apart, shoulders back, hands palm-up on her thighs. Just as Philip had taught her.
Gazing at the floor, Mia spoke. “Sir, I’m yours.”
Suddenly her stomach twisted into a knot, and a film of sweat glazed her upper lip. Her heart thumped in her ears, her vision grew hazy, and a wave of light-headedness came over her. Mia felt herself fall as a curtain of black descended.
* * * *
When she opened her eyes, Chess’s arms were around her. He sat in the straight-backed chair, and she rested on his lap, her head lolling against his shoulder. She stiffened, automatically trying to rise, but his arms held her fast. “Shhh, Mia. Don’t move. You’re all right.”
She shook her head to clear out the fog. “What—”
“You fainted.”
“No, that can’t be. I’ve never—”
“Tell me something—when did you last eat?”
Mia thought. “This morning, I think.” She’d been too nervous to have any dinner and had skipped lunch to get her mountain of paperwork finished in order to leave work on time.
“You think. So you’ve eaten nothing in more than twelve hours.” Chess’s sculpted lips were flattened in a firm line of displeasure. “It’s just as I said. You haven’t been taking care of yourself. I ought to punish you for that, but you’re in no shape for it now.”
“I—”
“Quiet.” He shifted her off his lap and onto the hard wooden seat as he stood. “Do you think you can sit there a minute without falling off?”
“I’m fine, Sir.” Her face heated with humiliation. God. She fainted? How
stupid
.
Chess picked up a black satchel from the floor and set it on the desk. He unzipped the bag and began to remove items, laying them on the desk one by one. Mia’s eyes grew wide at the sight of two floggers, a pair of fur-lined handcuffs, a coil of black rope, a cane, and a few items she didn’t recognize. “Let’s see,” he murmured as he carefully extracted a ball gag. “I’m sure it’s in here somewhere. Aha!”
Mia jolted, and goose pimples rose at his exclamation.
“Here it is.” His voice was rich with satisfaction. He turned and handed her a chocolate bar. “I always have some on hand for emergencies.”
Mia’s fear melted into relief. “Thank you.”
“Well, go on.” He nodded at the candy bar. “Eat. It will help your low blood sugar.”
She tore open the wrapper, and as soon as she took a bite, her mouth watered. It took everything she had not to drool.
As she ate, Chess went to a corner cupboard and removed a bottle of water and a sub blanket, which he placed around Mia’s shoulders. He rested his backside against the table. His arms were crossed as he watched her devour the chocolate in an embarrassingly short amount of time.
Mia sighed and closed her eyes, opening them again as Chess spoke.
“Better?” The corner of his mouth lifted in a half smile.
“Yes, thank you.” Immediately she realized she’d forgotten all about protocol. “Sir.”
“Good.” He uncapped the water bottle and handed it to her. This time his smile lit up his face, igniting a spark in his gray eyes.
The heat in his gaze made her skin prickle and her nipples harden. Her pussy grew moist, and her heart knocked against her ribs as she remembered that she'd agreed to submit to this man. She gulped down the water to cool the heat racing though her.
“You had me scared for a minute, Bella Mia.”
The warmth filling Mia suddenly turned to ice when the endearment fell from Chess’s mouth. He was too perceptive not to catch the way she stiffened in horror.
“You don’t like me calling you that, do you?” His eyes were cold steel now and his mouth a firm line.
Mia drew the blanket more tightly around her. If she said it didn’t matter, he’d know she lied. If she told the truth, he’d be insulted.
“Answer, Mia.”
Anger crackled through her. He wanted the truth? Well, fine. “No, Sir. I
don’t
like it.”
“Because it was Philip’s special name for you?”
She swallowed hard. “Yes. Sir.”
Chess surprised her by smiling again. “Good job not lying to me.” He scooped her out of the chair and sat down, settling her on his lap again.
He made no attempt to hide that he was staring down the bodice of her corset as his forefinger idly traced the rows of satin ruffles there. He dipped his finger into the crevice between her breasts, and Mia gasped, trembling. “I like these. They’re pretty.”
She didn’t know if he meant the ruffles or her breasts.
“Both,” he answered. He moved the blanket aside to kiss her shoulder.
Huh? Did he just read my mind again?
He dipped his exploring fingers into her cleavage and found the gold chain she’d hidden earlier that night. Chess scooped it out and placed it on the table. “That’s lovely. But as long as you’re with me, you’ll be wearing
my
collar. You’re mine.”
A shock went through Mia at the thought, and her pussy creamed. Yes. For this short amount of time, until he moved on, she
was
his.
“The thing is,” he went on, “
I’d
like a special name for you too. That is, if you really intend to submit to me.” He gazed at her, his eyes like chips of quartz. “Do you, Mia?”
She shivered as she remembered the promise she’d made herself. “Yes, Sir.”
He exhaled audibly, as though he’d been holding his breath waiting for her reply. He grinned as he flicked the corset’s decoration one more time. “I think I’ll call you Ruffles.”
Ruffles?
Mia winced. It sounded like a clown’s name. Or a pet’s. Quite a comedown from Bella Mia.
“You don’t like it?” he asked, reading her mind again. Or maybe simply reading her expression.
“It’s a silly name.” She eyed him. “Sir.”
His eyebrows lifted at her tiny show of defiance. “Silly can be fun. You need to lighten up a bit. No need to take everything so seriously, Ruffles.”
Mia pressed her lips tight as he corrected her. Still, he had a point. She’d taken her relationship with Master Philip seriously, and look where that landed her. But she loved Philip. No chance of that with Chess.
So maybe the silly name, though it tweaked her vanity, was a good choice after all. It would remind her that her submission to Chess was temporary and casual. It was a rite of passage, a way to move on.
As Mia pondered this, Chess pushed the blanket from her shoulders and let it slip to the floor. His large, warm hands squeezed her shoulders and swept down her arms. “You’re not cold, are you?”
“No, Sir.” In spite of her determination to play it cool, Mia felt warmed by his concern.
“That’s good. Tell me, Ruffles.” His tone became conversational. “When was the last time you had an orgasm?”
Huh? Mia blinked, his sudden question catching her off guard.
“Come on, now. It’s not a difficult question.”
“Well, uh, it’s been a while, Sir.” She shifted on his lap.
“Sit still,” Chess ordered. “How long?”
She didn’t want to answer. He’d know too much if she did, get too close to her secrets.
When she belonged to Master Philip, orgasms had been a regular part of her life. She’d rush home from their time together needing to come, then bring herself to climax remembering being with him. But when he let her go, she lost interest in sex.
Though reluctant to respond, she bit the bullet and said, “A few months, Sir.”
Chess gave a long-suffering sigh of impatience. “How many months? I don’t like getting the runaround.”
“Two months, Sir.”
Mia chewed the inside of her cheek. He could do the math. Master Philip had uncollared her two months ago.
He remained quiet a moment while that sank in. “So long without an orgasm? That’s sad.”
She didn’t want his pity. She looked away as he peered at her. “You have no boyfriend to help you out with that? Or girlfriend? Though Philip didn’t say anything about you being bi.”
Her breath caught, and she felt an unpleasant spike of—what? Anger? Fear? “You discussed me with Philip?”
His eyebrows lifted at her impudence. “I’m asking the questions here. And I don’t like your tone.”
Her face burned at the reprimand. “I’m sorry, Sir.”
“Yes, you will be.” His voice was iron. “Of course we discussed you. I often complimented Philip on having such a well-trained sub.”
“Oh.” Only casual conversation, then. A rush of relief swept through her. Philip hadn’t told him
everything.
She opened her mouth to ask exactly
what
they’d discussed, but his warning glare stopped her.
“Now. About the last two months. Are you seriously telling me that you didn’t even bring yourself off? Take matters into your own hands, so to speak?”
Mia snorted a laugh at the expression, caught herself.
“What’s so funny, Ruffles?” He smiled. “Never heard it phrased that way before?”
“I can’t say that I have, Sir.”
“You’ll be learning all kinds of new things with me,” he said lightly. “Two whole months. We’ll do something about that.”
A shiver went through her.
“Relax, Mia.”
The quiet calm of his voice soothed her, but she couldn’t really relax. Chess kept her off center, wondering what he would do next.
He held her loosely around the waist with one arm, while his other hand gently stroked her thigh. That hand drifted up to dip into her corset and circle a hard, beaded nipple. His touch only made it harder. He pinched it, gently at first, then more firmly. Mia gasped, and Master Chess loosened his hold, tenderly stroking her nipple. “Did you like that?”
She let go a breath. “I…I don’t know…” Her head spun.
“It’s all right to tell me you don’t know. If I’m doing something you don’t like, you need to tell me. If you want to slow down, say ‘yellow.’ If we’re doing something that freaks you out, say ‘red.’ We’ll stop.”
She looked at him. “I thought my job was to obey you.”