Uncovering You: The Complete Series (Mega Box Set) (206 page)

You proved me wrong. You made me see that life is not to be discarded out-of-hand, but to be treasured.

Every day is a little miracle. Every day is a tiny gift.

You proved to me that I deserve love.

I don’t want you to be saddened by my passing. We both knew the end was near. I am just so, so grateful for the moments we spent together.

I left you something. It is my most precious, most treasured possession:

A journal.

You are the only person in the world I trust it with.

I began it the week I met you. I thought if I chronicled my thoughts, it would help me get over the dark, handsome stranger who rocked my world for one sinful night.

I wrote everything there. My deepest beliefs, my most sincere feelings. Read it.

You’ll see that it all centers around one person:

You.

If I was stubborn in admitting my love for you, I’m sorry. I only ever wanted to keep you safe.

You, you, you. It’s always been you, darling. It’s always been you, James.

I did not know I was searching for pure happiness before. But I had it, for a brief, flickering, ephemeral moment… with you.

That is worth everything to me.

I only have one regret, and that is that I did not have the time to show you how much or how strongly I loved you.

If I go, James, I have a final wish:

Do not cut your life short.

You have good in you. Don’t hide it. Don’t deny it. Let others see.

Find love again.

I adore you, you perfect man, you. You have so much left to give. Don’t let my memory become your burden. Know that I will always be watching you, from wherever I end up next.

So thank you, James, for it all. For everything. So long as you keep a piece of me in your heart, I know I am loved.

Forever your girl,

C

It ruined me. I leafed through the diary beneath but could not bring myself to read the pages.

It was too soon.

For what seemed like ages, I drifted on a wave of apathy and loss. I was numb. Time ceased to hold meaning.

I withdrew from the university. I was no longer teaching.

I was a broken man.

Celeste asked me to move on, but I could not. She’d meant everything to me.

Without her, life was not worth living.

It was not until weeks after, while wandering the streets of Chicago without aim or purpose, that I ran into Summer and Angela, purely by chance. My ex-wife was harassing my former student.

I caught snippets of the conversation. Angela was blasting Summer for backing out of their agreement.

Such anger took me then. In light of everything, the woman had the gall to make such demands of Summer!

I grabbed Angela’s arm and pulled her aside. “What do you want, Angela, leave her alone,” I spat. “Haven’t you caused enough ruin, enough heartache? Let her be, her best friend is dead!”

A tremor of shock washed over Angela’s face.

“Celeste is dead?” she whispered.

Oh, how it hurt to hear that name said aloud. The pain splintered my chest so bad it made me stagger. I was lost, broken, raging, angry, and furious.

“Yes,” I said, barely holding on to a wall.

“I’m sorry,” she said.

I could almost believe the sincerity in her voice.

“What do you want?” I asked again.

“You know what I want,” she told me. “Proof that I deserve my share of royalties. The original papers. I want my fair claim, James.”

“Have them, then,” I hissed. “Have them, and be gone from my life. Have them, and I never want to see your vile face again. Have them, and then go and just fuck off!”

She smiled then, in that despicable, gloating way of hers, and left.

Arrangements were made for her to pick up the leather folder from my apartment’s front desk the following week.

Summer witnessed it all without a word. Then she took my arm and started walking me away.

“Thank you,” she told me softly.

I grunted something incomprehensible in reply.

“How are you holding up?” she asked me.

I turned to her and searched her eyes.

“I’m not,” I admitted.

“Have you read the diary?”

“No,” I said. “It’s too soon.”

“James, she wanted you to,” Summer said. “Please.”

“I cannot.”

“She left it for you. She told me. She made me promise you would get it.”

“You’ve done your part,” I said.

“No,” she shook her head. “She made me promise you would read it.”

I stared at her. We were at an impasse. Neither of us would budge.

“What if I read it with you?” she suddenly suggested. “I saw parts of it before I wrapped it up. She told me I could look.”

“She did?” I asked.

“Yes,” Summer nodded.

I searched her eyes for honesty and found it.

“Let me give you my number,” she said. “When you’re ready, you can call.”

I left her there, after saying good-bye, thinking nothing of it…

But the seed was planted in my mind.

One week later, I rang her and asked her to come over. I still hadn’t touched the diary. But I showed her the note.

Summer’s eyes misted over as she read.

“But you know what you have to do, don’t you?” she said when she finished. “You have to tell her story! You have it here, right in her diary! What better way to immortalize her? What better way to show the world your love?”

I looked at her in shock. “I cannot do that!” I said, quickly growing angry. I snatched the letter back. “It is not meant for the world to see.”

Summer was not frightened of me. “Please,” she said. “I know you have it in you. Just consider?”

Grudgingly, I gave a nod.

She kissed my cheek and left.

It took me another week, two, three, more, to come around to the idea. I’d rejected it out of hand at first…

But I had to look at the diary before I could decide.

And so I did. And the wounds that could never heal were ripped open anew.

But in the diary I found hope. Celeste’s words proved that she had felt what I’d felt. She had lived what I’d lived.

I also discovered the truth about Summer. I couldn’t bear knowing and not letting her know.

So I called her again, and invited her over to discuss.

As we talked, I came around to the idea of sharing Celeste’s story.

“I don’t know if the book would be publishable,” I said. “But I do know I need your help.”

She agreed right on the spot.

And so I took an extended sabbatical, and, with Summer’s counsel, came up with a draft of this book.

It was awful. Horrendous. I struggled with it for months. The whole time I was writing, I knew that it just wasn’t working.

I wrote it as seen from my eyes, then.

It did not feel genuine.

That’s when Summer came up with the brilliant idea of telling it from Celeste’s perspective, and not my own.

As soon as I made the switch? The blockage in my mind was lifted. The words poured out of me.

Suddenly, I was not looking back on old memories dimming with time. I was there, literally there, with her, again. I was reliving everything with Celeste.

I was alive with my immortal love.

And for the first time since her death, instead of sadness, I felt… joy.

The moments we shared would not be forgotten. They would remain bright and clear, forever on these pages.

It took another six months to polish the book into what it is now.

That was the story you just read.

And as soon as it was out there?

I finally found the freedom to move on.

Oh, about Angela? Her lawyers took me to court over the old royalties. The papers in the leather folder strengthened her case but did not make it infallible.

They were ready to stretch it out. Instead of squabbling over the details, I proposed an out-of-court-settlement:

She would get all future royalties of books already published.

She pounced like a starving man on a loaf of bread. But it was, for me, the greater victory.

It was her “fuck off” money.

And Summer? She and I became the closest of friends. She does not hide who she is anymore. She’s been dating the sweetest girl for a little over nine months, now.

I see a bright future for them both.

She had her license suspended, too, after the crash, and had to do some community service along with a rehab program. The mother and daughter she hit both lived and did not press charges.

As for me? I went on a nationwide tour to promote this book. I didn’t do it for the cash.

I did it to see the faces of all the people Celeste’s story touched.

That, finally, gave me closure.

I never did get tenure. A whole host of circumstances gave rise to that, but I do not hold it against anyone.

And anyway, I’ll have a chance to earn the position again soon.

I’m back to teaching now.

In fact, my very first class is gathering just on the other side of these doors. Today is two years to the day that I stepped through them, into the auditorium, and found Celeste’s face in the crowd.

And so, dear reader, this is where we part. I am sorry for misleading you for so long, but I hope you’ll see why I did it. I hope you’ll forgive me, because it was the only way I could portray a tenth—a hundredth—of the miracle that was Celeste Adams.

She was, and ever will be…

Forever my girl.

But for now, back in the present?

The classroom beckons.

- James.

September 2015

***

The End.

LANDON

by Scarlett Edwards

www.landonbook.com

LANDON Book Club Discussion Questions

Q1: Celeste's relationship with Brad was never explained in full. Why? Is this a limitation of the narrative style adopted by the author? What do you think
really
happened between Celeste and Brad to impact her so?

Q2: Based on her past experience with Brad, Celeste is left unable to trust anyone. Can one bad experience keep you from trusting others? How much does our past affect our present and our future?

Q3: There is a definite shift at one point of the story in terms of who is chasing whom. When does this change occur and how does it affect the two main characters?

Q4: Summer is a very polarizing character. You never know her true motives. In your opinion, what is the root cause of her erratic behaviour? Were some of her extreme reactions warranted, or was she covering up for something else?

Q5: Do you think Celeste and James's love was truly doomed from the start? Or was it somewhat of a self-fulfilling prophecy; ie, "I think therefore I am"?

Q6: Is Celeste's behaviour towards James, especially at the start of the novel, justified? Is her attitude toward life and love something you understand or sympathize with?

Q7: The story is told from Celeste's perspective -- until the narrator is revealed at the end. If you read the story from the outset knowing the true narrator, would your experience of the book have changed? When you go back and re-read certain parts, are you granted a new appreciation of some pivotal moments of the book?

Q8: James said that he had to write from Celeste's perspective to truly capture the love between him and her. Do you think this was true?

Q9: Knowing that James was the narrator, how much do you think his ego played into the lofty descriptions of himself while writing as Celeste?

Q10: How does Celeste's attitude toward life change after admitting her love for James?

Q11: Put yourself in Celeste’s place. Are there things you would have done differently?

Q12: Finding out you have cancer can be a very experience. Celeste has dealt with the diagnosis multiple times in her life. Was her decision to keep it to herself the best way forward for her? Was it justified, was it honest, was it understandable? If you found out you had a potentially terminal disease, do you think you would tell anyone?

Follow-Up Thought for Q12 From a Reader:

"It's something I've thought about before, and again while I was reading. When my mother had cancer, she didn't tell anyone. We found out from the surgeon after he finished operating. It's a very personal decision, and I think it'd give the reader a good amount of thought and discussion."

Never Let Go

By Scarlett Edwards

Copyright © 2013, Scarlett Edwards

eBook Version 1.0
Publication Date: October 17, 2013

Cover design by Scarlett Edwards.

http://www.ScarlettEdwards.com

Book Description:

Inspired by true events...

The first day of college gives every girl a chance to reinvent herself.

I go and screw mine up by meeting the most gorgeous guy I've seen in five years while talking to my cat.

But Andrew Crowner is far from judgemental. By the end of our interaction, he has me smitten by his easy manner and kind smile. And from the way his eyes linger on me before he leaves, I start to think that maybe I’ve caught his attention, too.

I let myself believe that luck may finally be on my side. That is, until I stumble on my roommate, and her overnight guest: Spencer Ashford.

Lean, tattooed, and sexy as sin, Spencer is exactly the type I need to avoid. I would have no trouble with that... were it not for his swift and inexplicable interest in me.

Suddenly, I go from a girl with next-to-no experience with boys to one caught in the crosshairs of two completely different men.