Uncovering You: The Complete Series (Mega Box Set) (85 page)

“What does it matter to them what I do?” I ask faintly. “Why do they care about my life?”

“Because of what it can tell them about me,” Jeremy says. He sounds impatient. “This might be a lot to take in, Lilly, but you’re now a public figure. Because of both your position with Stonehart Industries and your connection to me.” He sneers. “There’s no denying our relationship in the office any longer.”

“But how did
you
get these photographs? They’re so
recent
…”

“I think you know how persuasive I can be,” he says, “when I put my mind to something. Now do you see why I want you to remain on my estate, where you’re safe from prying eyes?”

I nod, slowly, feeling all the joy and excitement of being let outside seep out of me like water from a leaky tub.

“Do you understand
now
that I have your best interest at heart? Are you willing to admit that much, at least, Lilly?”

Again, I nod.

“Good.” He stands. “I need to be back in the office. Simon will take you home. You’re lucky I was close by when you came here, Lilly. God forbid you had another episode like yesterday out here where anybody could see.”

He turns and walks away. That’s it. No affection. No warmth. No sympathy. No good-bye.

Just cold, hard Stonehart, stating his demands.

His last comment felt like a punch in the gut. Is he going to continue referring to that incident forever?

A moment later, Simon comes through the door. I shield my face when I’m out on the street. We get in the limousine, and drive all the way home.

Chapter Ten

There are still no messages or calls from Fey by evening. I am probably an idiot to expect anything else.

But the thing is…I
was
hoping to hear from her. I know she’s doubtlessly still mad at me. I just thought the message that I left might be enough to convince her to give me another chance.

Maybe too little time has passed. Maybe I just need to be more patient.

I can do that, can’t I? I know how to be patient. Hell, I’ve endured far worse in the first few weeks under Stonehart’s care.

But back then I had a purpose. I had determination. I had a goal, an end-point, in mind.

And now? Now, I just feel lost. Lost and alone. I may have unlimited freedom. But what am I doing with it? I thought I’d be tunneling my way into the underbelly of Stonehart Industries. After what happened yesterday, who knows where I stand?

And Jeremy…Jeremy has gone cold. He’s as impassive as he was when I knew him as Stonehart.

Probably because I’ve disappointed him. He told me that he wanted my mind. He said that’s what he valued in me. He called me strong, independent, passionate…

Was all that whisked away by my breakdown last night? Has all that evaporated like drops of oil on a hot skillet? How far have I backtracked with him? How much do I need to rebuild?

Of course that’s not the worst. The persistent doubts about my own sanity are. I need reassurance: Something or someone to tell me objectively that I’m not crazy.

Because if I can’t even trust myself anymore, how little do I have left?

***

I’ve made up my mind when Jeremy gets home. There’s something that I need to do: Something that I’ve been putting off for far too long. Something that I think just might help put things in perspective for me.

“Jeremy.” I interrupt him while he’s eating. He looks across the table at me. It’s the first word we’ve said to each other all night.

I place my hands firmly against the oak and sit high. “I want to see my mother.”

“Hmm.” He looks me over, chewing the bite of meat in his mouth slowly. He swallows, then takes a sip of wine. He puts the glass down.

“Fine,” he says, and cuts into his steak.

I blink. That’s it? No warnings, no debates, no…anything?

“Fine?” I ask.

“That’s what I said, isn’t it?” He keeps his eyes on his plate. “Don’t make me repeat myself. If it’s my permission you’re looking for, you have it. You may go. But,” a cruel little smile curves his lips, “you know that you don’t need it anymore.”

“What about…work?” I venture, carefully.

“Stonehart Industries operated just fine without you, and will continue to do so until your return. A sabbatical now seems like the best option for all parties involved.”

My gut clenches. I knew it. I
knew
what Jeremy saw in me yesterday ruined whatever impression I’ve managed to build up.

The question is: How far back to ‘square one’ am I?

“Do you know where she is?” Jeremy asks.

I look up, startled from my self-pitying reverie. “Huh?”

“Do you know where she is? Do you know where your mother is?” Jeremy emphasizes. “Dammit, Lilly, pay attention! It’s not so fucking hard.”

I shrink back. “Sorry,” I mumble.

His eyes narrow. “My question was more of the rhetorical sort. I’m aware that you do not. I know that you have not spoken to her for years, and that you’ve had no way to keep track of her location.”

“Let me guess,” I say dryly. “You have?”

“Would that surprise you?”

“No.”

“Atta girl. You might yet be smarter than I give you credit for.”

I flash my teeth at him in a fake smile.

“Is that what I think it is?” Jeremy asks. “Is some of your spunk coming back? I’m shocked, Lilly. I didn’t think we’d see a re-emergence of that for weeks.

“Your mother is in Maine,” he continues before I can reply. “She is working nights at a trucker’s diner. You don’t need to worry about her.” One side of his lips curls up in a crooked smile. “She makes good tips.”

That coy, derogatory remark is almost enough to make me pick up my glass and throw it at him.
Almost
.

“You can leave tonight, if you wish. I’ll have it arranged for you. Or tomorrow morning. Whatever you prefer.” He spreads his arms wide in a mocking gesture. “You see? You get nothing but choices from me.”

The last thing I want to do, at this moment, is face the prospect of having sex with the man if I remain here overnight. “I’d like to go now, in that case.”

“Done.” Jeremy glances at his watch. “Simon will take you to the airport in an hour. That should give Rose enough time to pack your bags.”

“I can do it,” I say.

“
Rose
will do it,” Jeremy emphasizes. “Do you hear me? She has a role in this house. I do not want you getting in her way.”

I sniff, already counting down the minutes until I can get away from the man.

“You’ll have three days,” Jeremy lifts up three fingers. “After that, I expect to find you back, re-energized, ready to work, ready to fuck, and in general, more like the woman I assume you’re still capable of being, instead of…” he points his fork at me in the most despicable, degrading way imaginable, “…
this
.”

Chapter Eleven

Later that night, I’m in the back of Jeremy’s jet, flying across the country,
alone
. It’s a strange feeling.

Even though he’s not with me, his presence still lingers heavy on my mind.

As hard as I try, I cannot mentally dissociate myself from Jeremy Stonehart. He is at the heart of everything I do. Even if I were to leave—even if I were to take him at his word, and just walk out the door—the sense of uncertainty would consume me.

Worse, the sense of my
failure
would consume me.

I promised myself I would get revenge. I vowed it. If not for myself, then at least for Paul.

I wonder if Rose is in a similar position. I wonder if she has also stuck by Jeremy, not because she has to, but because she
needs
to?

Who knows the true nature of their relationship?

But am I even in a position to make good on my promise any longer? I think I still am, even if I have backtracked. That also introduces a third element of uncertainty.

The irony is not lost on me. I’ve been released from the contract, and yet, I am now bound more tightly to Jeremy than ever.

And now, only because of him, I’m about to do something I never thought I would.

I’m about to see my mother.

I’m not going out to Maine in search of reassurance. That’s not something she can provide. I am going out there in search of the
truth
.

Now, with Fey’s information, I really need to know. Is Paul truly my father? Did he actually abandon us, or did
she
force him to leave?

If she did…and the result of that was him going to California, meeting Stonehart’s mother, ruining her life (in Jeremy’s view), and thus resulting in his targeting of me…then if I trace things back far enough, everything is her fault.

I stop short.
How petty do I sound?
I cannot blame my mother for what Jeremy has done. But that’s the nature of my relationship with her. When things have turned bad in the past, it’s always been her fault.

I realize I’m pressing my nails tights into the armrest and force my fingers to release. I feel more on edge about this spur-of-the-moment trip than anything else in recent memory. How will my mother react when she sees me? How will
I
react when I see her?

I check my phone once more for anything from Fey. The silence on her end is killing me. Did I really screw things up so badly that the apology I left on her voice mail wasn’t enough to at least make her talk to me? I’m not expecting sympathy or forgiveness. That’s not what I’m after. But it would be nice, at least, to know that somebody out there still cares about me.

Somebody other than my abductor.

I look out the little window, and press my palm against the glass. I’m alone in the cabin. I specifically asked for no flight attendants. It’s just me and the pilot on this plane, and he’s locked away behind those heavy metal doors.

I feel as cut off from the world, right now, as I ever have. Despite having all my freedoms. Despite having the ability to go wherever I want to go. I’ve ruined my relationship with Fey. I
have
no relationship with my mother. I doubt Sonja would want to talk to me. She’s only heard things from Fey’s side, and they don’t paint a pretty picture of who I’ve become.

More irony. Isn’t this—or some version of this—what I’ve always wanted? Independence. Self-sufficiency. A reliance on nobody and no one but myself?

At least, that’s what I
thought
I wanted. Now, I’m starting to see things differently. Independence is all good and great. But, when taken to the extreme, it becomes… despairing. Empty. With no warmth in my life from anybody other than Jeremy… and even that has disappeared after the way I disappointed him… what do I have left?

***

The plane touches down with a jerk. I open my eyes and look around.

The early rays of the sun are just starting to peek through the clouds. There’s a light frosting of snow on the ground.

We taxi towards the terminal and I deplane. The amount of snow was deceptive. It’s freezing cold out here. I rub my arms and wish for a hot coffee as I wait for the pilot to transfer my bags to the back of a waiting limousine.

But as we leave the airport, I get a sudden urge to test the limits of my freedom.

“Wait. Wait, stop.”

The driver looks back at me. “What, here?”

“Yes, here,” I snap. “Let me off.”

“Mr. Stonehart said to bring you to—”

“Yeah, well I’m telling you to stop right
now
. Mr. Stonehart’s not here, is he? I’m the one in charge.”

“Sure thing,” he shrugs. He pulls into an alcove of a strip mall. I open the door.

“My bags?” I demand impatiently.

The driver comes around and takes them out. I motion for him to place them by my feet. He sticks his hands into his front pockets.

“Mr. Stonehart won’t be pleased with me when he finds out,” he says.

“Let me worry about that,” I say.

“Crazy lady,” the driver mutters as he gets back into the limousine and takes off.

A few minutes later, I spot a cab cruising the lot and hail it. It stops curbside.

At least this way, Jeremy will have no way to keep track of me, I think.

I get in. The driver asks a question I have no ready answer to.

“Where to?”

I take out a slip of paper with the address of the diner jotted down on it. “Do you know that place?”

He squints at Jeremy’s small, tight handwriting. Then he nods. “Yeah, sure. Nice shop. Serves the best chili in the state. But it won’t be open now.”

“I know,” I say. “Just bring me to a hotel nearby.”

“Nearby?” he asks. “Won’t be any hotels nearby, little lady. Just pit stops and the occasional motel.”

“That’s fine,” I say. I pause, and then add, “And a car rental?”

The taxi driver grins at me as if he’s just been let in on some great secret. “Yeah,” he says. “Sure thing.”

***

I drop my bags off at a seedy motel and then return to the cab to be driven to rent a car. I get a Toyota. It feels so strange to be behind the wheel of a vehicle. Nobody had cars at Yale. On a small campus, there was no need. The only reason I got my driver’s license was because I’d saved up for driving courses during high school. My mother obviously did not have a car.

Then there was all the time spent under Jeremy’s care, secluded from the world. Having my hands on the steering wheel, feeling my foot on the gas pedal, having the car move forward at my command…all of it feels strange, surreal, but a little… empowering.

I wonder, in the back of my mind, whether Jeremy’s having me watched. He’s certainly capable of hiring the people to do it. They could be tailing me right now and I’d be none the wiser.

Of course, it doesn’t really matter. I’m not thinking about running. I’m only here to see my mother, clear my mind, and return to my position in Jeremy’s life. Hopefully without any further crazy episodes.

I pull up to the motel, park, and go to my room. This environment is certainly familiar. It’s all I’ve known growing up.