Undeniable (10 page)

Chapter Twenty-One

Jude

The days had been long and draining, yet the moment I saw Callie’s face, hope sparked within me. I had spent so long pretending she had no effect on me, but I no longer tried to hold my feelings back. I spent a few moments just breathing in her comforting scent of vanilla, then I pulled back a little and placed my lips against the space just beneath her ear. I kissed her gently, then trailed my nose along her jawline. “I’ve missed you, sweetheart.” I arched my neck, looking up at her.

“I’ve missed you too,” she whispered. “How is she doing today?”

“Same.”

We both looked toward the bed that held Katelynn. She had gone from bad to good, then to worse in a matter of days. The doctors had hoped the antibiotics were working until they did another CT scan three days ago. They then found the pneumonia had not only worsened but had now reached her right lung. With her weakened immune system, her body was just not fighting it off. They’d administered a round of stronger antibiotics, but things still looked bleak, and they’d told us it was truly only a matter of time.

“I think maybe we need to bring the kids for a visit,” I said without looking away from Katelynn. “I know I’ve been holding off bringing them, hoping things would change, but I can’t keep doing that. I think we all know that was just wishful thinking on my part.”

Callie squeezed me a little tighter. She had been amazing these last few weeks. Hell, she had been amazing from the moment she met Katelynn and the kids. She had loved them and cared for them as if they were members of her own family. Her selflessness only made me love her more. Yeah, love. I was in love with Callie. I think I had always been. But until I let my guard down and truly let her in, I tried to convince myself I could live without her. Now I knew that was no longer a possibility.

“Do you want me to go get them?” she asked.

“I think I should pick them up. Maybe talk to them and explain a little, before they see her,” I said. “Do you mind sitting here with Kate for a while?”

“Sure, of course. They’re with my mom.”

I nodded as I stared at Katelynn’s sleeping form.

“I could have her meet you downstairs with them, or even at your apartment. Whatever you need.”

I turned to face her, and she watched me closely, trying to weigh my reactions. “I love you, Cal. I just want you to know that.” Her eyes grew wide with shock, yet I continued on without allowing her to respond. I needed her to know just how much she truly meant to me. How much her actions had meant to me. “You could be out there dating some guy without the baggage I have. You could be spending your days at the beach and your nights with friends, without all this worry and sadness. But instead you’re here. You’re always here, and I don’t even have to ask. That means more to me than you will ever know.” I placed my hand on the back of her neck and pulled her toward me. “I love you, baby. Thank you.”

Her lower lip trembled as I placed my lips to hers and tried to let her feel the love I held for her. I needed her to understand just how important she had become to me and to my family.

***

“Uncle Jude,” Zoey yelled as she crawled out of Callie’s mother’s Ford Escape, which was parked in front of the hospital entrance. She must have been waiting just outside for me to come down. She wore a pair of bright blue pants and a yellow shirt I had never seen before. Following close behind was Callie’s mother and Matthew, who held on tightly to her hand.

I bent down just as Zoey threw herself at me, wrapping her arms around my neck.

“Hey, sweetheart.” I engulfed her in my arms and kissed her forehead. “You been a good girl?” I asked as I looked up at Callie’s mom, who now stood before me. Meeting her under these circumstances was never what I had planned, but this woman was just like her daughter. She opened her home up to Zoey and Matthew over the last couple weeks without even a second thought.

“They’ve both been perfect,” she said, looking between my niece and nephew.

“Thank you, Mrs. Raine. I really appreciate you taking them in the way you have. It means a lot.” I stood up and offered her a smile.

“Call me Mallory, and there’s no need to thank me. These two are the sweetest kids. I love having them around,” she assured me with a matching smile.

“It looks like they’re wearing some new clothes,” I said as I looked over Matthew, who wore a superhero shirt I had never seen before. “Let me pay you back for what you spent.”

I reached into my back pocket and pulled out my wallet. As I brought it around in front of me and began to fumble through it, she placed her hand over mine. “You owe me nothing. I’ve always wanted grandchildren. Callie has made me wait far too long to have little ones to spoil. I think I enjoy it more than them. Please, Jude.” She smiled brightly, and in that moment I saw a touch of Callie within her eyes. “Don’t take away the enjoyment I feel when I get to see their eyes light up. Just know it means the world to me that you’ve allowed me to be a part of their lives.”

Before I could respond, Callie’s mother bent down and engulfed both Zoey and Matthew in a hug. “I’ll see the both of you later. Remember—” She pulled back, and her face now had a look of excitement. “—tomorrow we’re going to decorate those cookies we made today.”

Zoey and Matthew lit up with excitement, and I couldn’t hold back my own smile. It was obvious Mallory now held a special place in their hearts. And then it hit me that the more people I allowed into their world, the happier they’d be. I had spent years keeping them to myself, making sure they’d be safe and never have to deal with rejection again after what their father had put them through. But in reality, I had sheltered them from the love they were now embracing.

I vowed in that moment to never again push away those who cared for us, but to grab on tight and never let them go.

“If you need anything, call. Don’t hesitate, Jude. Calvin and I are here whenever you need us.” Mallory leaned in and placed a kiss on my cheek. “Don’t be stubborn. Reach out.”

I nodded as she stepped away and gave me a knowing grin. Callie had obviously talked to her mother about me. “Okay, thank you again.”

“Anytime.” She tickled Matthew’s side and tapped the end of Zoey’s nose before stepping back and walking toward her SUV.

“Can we see Mommy now?” Zoey asked. I looked over and found the two of them staring up at me hopefully.

“Of course, but, um, can we take a little walk first?” I wanted to prepare them in hopes of making things a little easier to handle. I found a bench about ten feet away from the front entrance of the hospital and gathered one child on each side of me.

“What’s wrong? Is Mommy okay?” Zoey’s sad, worried voice pulled at something deep in my chest. What was the best way to explain to two young children that their mommy wasn’t going to get better? But the last thing I wanted was for them to go upstairs and get scared when they saw Katelynn’s condition. I had to help them understand what they were about to see.

“Your mommy is still very sick, sweetheart,” I began as I held them close. “Do you remember Charlie, the cat Mrs. Reames had?”

They nodded, and I continued, carefully weighing out my words. “Remember when he got sick and we had to take him to the vet?”

“Yes,” Zoey whispered. She stared up at me with a look of fear, and I fucking hated that we had to have this conversation.

“Do you remember what the doctor said?”

“Charlie was sick, and the sickness he had was really bad.”

I rested my hand on Zoey’s shoulders. She was the sweetest little girl and at times the silliest. Yet right now, she seemed so much older than five.

“You are right.” I kissed the top of her head and took in a deep breath. “I’m gonna take you both upstairs to visit with your mommy, but I need you to know that she is very sick. Last time you came to visit her, she was awake and talking, but this time things are different.”

“Is Mommy gonna die? Like Charlie?” Matthew asked so innocently.

A huge lumped formed in the base of my throat, and I felt my chest tighten.

“Charlie went to heaven. Is that where Mommy is going?” Another innocent question from Matthew only made my already aching chest ache even more.

“Yeah, buddy,” I whispered, closing my eyes tightly when Zoey began to cry. I lifted her into my lap and held her close to my chest.

Matthew continued to play with the action figure in his hand, oblivious to just what my words meant. He was still too young to realize what going to heaven truly meant. But Zoey understood. The idea of Katelynn leaving us meant she would no longer be able to hear her mother’s laughter or witness her carefree smile.

Life was so unfair sometimes, and it broke my heart and pissed me off at the same time. A child should never have to go through losing a parent at such a young age.

Chapter Twenty-Two

Callie

I felt hollow inside. My throat was raw with emotion, yet I fought with everything I had to hold myself together even though that became harder to do with each moment.

The second Zoey entered the hospital room, she crawled up into bed alongside Katelynn and wrapped her little arm over her waist. Bringing her head to rest on Kate’s chest, Zoey then closed her eyes and remained silent, as if she was solely focused on her mother’s deep, ragged breaths.

Matthew was so intrigued by the machines and their beeping that he barely noticed Kate’s weak form. Occasionally, he would glance in her direction and look like he was about to say something, but he would then redirect his attention to something else.

As my gaze settled on Jude, my heart felt as if it cracked within me. He sat at the end of Katelynn’s bed, slouched back in his chair with his left leg crossed over his right at the ankle. His hand partially covered his mouth, and he stared ahead, focused on Zoey and Katelynn. His eyes were glossy with unshed tears, and I wanted nothing more than to hold him and tell him that no matter what happened, everything would be okay, yet I knew things would never be truly okay. We were losing Katelynn, and the road to healing would be a long and devastating trip.

The click of the heavy wooden door as it opened caught my attention, and I looked up just as Jett, Quinn, Kade, and Avery entered. Not a day had gone by since Katelynn was admitted without at least one of them stopping by for a visit. Their continued support of Jude was truly amazing.

“Hey, man,” Jett offered as he reached out and placed his hand on Jude’s shoulder. He gave it a gentle squeeze, then looked in my direction. “Is there anything I can get you?”

I shook my head. “No, I’m good, thank you.”

Matthew ran toward Jett and wrapped his arms around his legs. Almost instantly, Jett bent down and lifted him into his arms. Quinn’s face lit up as she stared at her husband, who was now tickling Matt’s stomach. “How about you, little man? You hungry?”

“Yes,” Matthew announced.

Jett looked over at Zoey, who still lay curled at her mother’s side. “Why don’t the four of you take a walk? Maybe go down to the cafeteria and grab something to eat?”

I knew it was Jett’s way of relieving us. I also thought Jude could use a breather, but it was almost impossible to get him to step away for any period of time. I focused on Jude, waiting for his decision, but he continued to stare ahead with a blank expression.

“Jude?” I whispered, and my throat burned when his gaze met mine. His eyes were red and so sad. “Let’s go get the kids something to eat,” I pushed, hoping more than anything he’d just give in and come with me.

He closed his eyes tightly, and for a moment I thought he was getting angry. When he nodded, a huge sense of relief washed over me, and the tension left my body. Jude stood, walked to the side of the bed, and lifted Zoey into his arms. She protested until he whispered something in her ear, which had her then gripping his neck securely. When he walked past Avery and Quinn, I noticed they were both wiping away tears. I took in a deep breath and took Matthew’s tiny hand.

“Come on, buddy, let’s go feed your tummy.”

My lower lip vibrated as I followed Jude out of the room, feeling as if the ground was falling away beneath me. I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs and fall to my knees crying. I wanted to crush something, break it into tiny pieces, and then break it some more, but I knew that would be pointless. Nothing would take away this deep ache inside me.

***

I left the hospital two hours later. With Jett’s help, I was able to get Zoey and Matthew secured in their car seats and home safely. I couldn’t bring myself to leave them, so when we got back to the apartment, we all crawled into Jude’s bed and held each other close. The kids drifted off right away, but I had a hard time falling asleep as I lay in the darkness listening to their soft snoring breaths.

I don’t know what time it was when I finally fell asleep, but I woke when I heard the click of the front door. There were only two people who had a key to the apartment besides myself—Jude and Mrs. Reames.

I untangled myself from the two children, carefully slipped from the bed, and made my way toward the living room. As I rounded the corner, I was expecting to find Mrs. Reames but was shocked to see Jude standing at the counter with his back to me.

“Hey, you,” I said as I stepped up behind him and placed my hand on his back. And in that moment, I knew.

His body shook as he sobbed and leaned over the countertop, resting his head in his hands as an agonizing sound fell from his lips. Chills covered me, and my stomach felt as if it had hit the floor.

I rubbed my hand along his shoulder as he continued to shake beneath my fingertips. It felt as if time stood still.

The continuous slick of the blade on the ceiling fan above our heads and the
tick tick tick
of the clock on the wall filled the silence.

“She’s gone,” he whispered so low I almost missed his words. My already-aching heart only ached more. “It’s like she just let go once you all left. Like she was only hanging on to give the kids that last moment with her.” He paused as he stood up and turned to face me. Fresh tears covered his cheeks as his eyes locked on mine. “I sat by her side, holding her hand, as she slowly faded away.” He shook his head as if to clear it of the image. “And when it was over…” He closed his eyes tightly and bowed his head.

I waited for him to continue.

“She hadn’t looked that peaceful in such a long time. Like all the pain and suffering she had gone through for years was finally over, and she was free once again.” He was still whispering in a slow, drawn-out tone. “I’m gonna miss her so much, Callie, but she can finally be free.”

Jude lifted his head and opened his eyes, finally looking back at me. The last few weeks had weighed heavily on him, and the dark circles under his eyes were the proof. He stepped forward and wrapped his arms around my shoulders as he pulled me close. Resting his head against my forehead, he whispered, “I’m so tired.”

I pulled back, tilted my chin upward, and locked eyes with him. “The kids are in your bed. Go curl up with them.”

“Only if you come too,” he bargained.

I only nodded, because I was barely hanging on to my emotions.

He kissed me softly and then linked his fingers with mine as he led me down the hall toward the bedroom.

There would be so much to do in the next few days, so many things to finalize, but right now I knew Jude needed a calm moment to reflect.