Undeniable (A Country Roads Novel) (8 page)

Jax didn’t say anything as his mouth went down to hers again. Grace pulled her knees up so her legs cradled his moving hips. His hands went to the back of her thighs, his fingers sliding  under the thin material of her pajama shorts. She grabbed his shoulder blades, her fingers pushing hard into his muscles.

Jax’s mouth left hers and started a journey down her neck, making a path across her skin. He traced her collarbone with his tongue and descended lower to the top of her tank top. His teeth raked the material, tugging at the edge. He didn’t pull it down though. Instead his mouth traveled to Grace’s chest, where his mouth opened wide on one of her breasts.

Holycowholycowholycow.

She arched up into him, her hands going back to his hair.

Cold air hit the wet material as Jax switched sides, his mouth showing equal admiration to both breasts. He kept at it for a couple of minutes, switching back and forth, before he moved back up her body. His lips were on hers again, his tongue diving into her mouth.

Grace moved her hands down Jax’s chest. She slipped them underneath his shirt, touching his skin. He groaned deep in his throat, the vibrations of it rumbling through her body. She traced his abs with her fingertips before she followed the trail down his jeans. She pulled on the top button and then worked down his zipper. She slipped her hand into the opening and stroked him through the soft cotton of his boxer briefs.

And then everything stopped. Jax was off her in a second. He was standing on the other side of the room panting. His chest rising and falling like he’d just sprinted a couple of miles. The look on his face had the sexual heat that had been running through Grace the moment before turning ice cold.

He was doing it again. The stupid jerk was doing it
again.
He was chickening out, pulling away from her,
leaving
her.

“Grace I—” he said, shaking his head, still trying to catch his breath.

Grace scrambled up and grabbed the blanket off the back of the couch. She wrapped it around her shoulders as she stood up. She really didn’t want to have whatever conversation they were about to have with her nipples popping through the front of her now very wet tank top.

“Grace—” Jax said, trying to talk again, but he just swallowed hard as he ran his hands through his hair, his T-shirt straining at the top of his shoulders.

“Just spit it out, Jax.”

“We can’t do this,” he said, making a motion between their bodies.

“This?” she asked, trying to hide her shaking hands in the fabric of the blanket.

“We can’t be together this way. It isn’t an option.”

“Because you think you’re not good enough for me? Is that why?”

“I don’t think it, Grace, I know it.”

“Oh, you
know
it. The all powerful and enlightened Jaxson Anderson. You just know all, don’t you?” Her voice cracked under the strain of not losing it.

“Grace,” Jax said, taking a step toward her.

“No.” She cut him off, her hand slicing through the air to stop him. “You want to know what your problem is? You’ve convinced yourself that all of the garbage your father drilled into your brain is the truth. You’ve turned them into facts, into reality.
You’ve
decided that you’re not worth it, and I’m done trying to prove to you otherwise. I can’t do the friend thing with you anymore. It’s not an
option
for me.”

“Grace—”

“Get out, Jax,” she said with so much finality that it even shocked her.

Jax inhaled sharply before he nodded and walked to the door. He didn’t say anything, didn’t even hesitate as he opened it and walked outside.

The moment the door closed all the air left Grace’s lungs. She staggered to the door and flipped the dead bolt before she fell onto the couch. The blanket that was still wrapped around her shoulders did absolutely nothing for the cold that was raking her body. She pulled her knees up to her chest and buried her face in a pillow, trying to muffle the sobs that just wouldn’t stop.

O
n Monday morning, Grace was in the kitchen of the funeral home setting up for the Guerdon wake. The food was already made, so it was just a matter of putting it out. She was in the kitchen with Panky, who was making fresh flower arrangements.

Normally the two of them would be talking, but not today. Grace was in a mood because of Jax, and Panky was in a mood because of the assistant funeral director, Missy Lee. Missy was in micromanage mode, and every two minutes she would stick her head in the kitchen and say something to Panky.

“I just think you’re overstuffing the arrangements,” Missy said. “You could use cheaper flowers. We don’t need so many roses and lilies. How about more carnations and daisies? And baby’s breath?”

“I’ll take it into consideration,” Panky said, not even looking up from her arrangement.

“That’s all I ask.” Missy turned and left the room.

Missy Lee might be the assistant funeral director at Adams and Family Funeral Home, but that was just her day job. Her real profession was gold digger. At the age of forty-eight, the woman had been married five times and engaged seven. For a while Missy had found her conquests around town, but with the Internet now at her fingertips, she’d turned to the world wide web to find her new victims.

Three months ago Missy had married Clive Burdgen. He was a furniture salesman in Montgomery, Alabama, with a beamer and a full head of hair. Missy and Clive had known each other for all of about five minutes before they’d gotten hitched. But a month into their marriage, Missy discovered that Clive Burdgen was really Gill Seamore. Gill Seamore had a wife and kids in Atlanta and had fled with the beamer when his Laundromat had gone belly-up. Oh, and also, that head of hair was all hair plugs.

So the conner became the conned, and Missy hadn’t taken it very well at all. As the great, great, great niece of Robert E. Lee, she didn’t deal very well with defeat. After Missy’s
heartbreak
she’d gone on a full-out rampage. The woman had always been crazy, but now she was crazy with a vendetta, and it wasn’t just against her most recent ex-husband, or whatever he was, as technically they’d never really been married.

For a while Missy had targeted Mr. Adams for a merger, so that she could liquidate his assets. Burley Adams wasn’t hurting for money. As the owner of the only funeral home in Atticus County, he was making a pretty penny. Missy had known it, and she’d wanted all of that money for herself. Interestingly enough, Missy had married Clive/Gill exactly a month after Burley and Panky had tied the knot. Coincidence? Most likely not.

“What if we start using silks?” Missy asked, coming back into the kitchen. “Then we could reuse the flowers. No one ever pays enough attention to know the difference anyway.”

“Excuse me?” Panky asked, looking up. Her eyes narrowed on Missy and her cheeks started to turn red.

“I’m just saying, they aren’t that important.”

“Excuse me?”
Panky repeated.

“We can charge the families the same price for less flowers.”

“That’s it,” Panky said, slamming her scissors down on the counter. “I’m going to talk to my husband.” With that she stormed out of the kitchen. Missy followed, the two of them arguing as they went down the hallway.

“What was that all about?”

Grace looked up to find Paige waddling into the kitchen.

“Missy is being a pain in Panky’s ass.”

“Well, that’s new and different.” Paige grinned.

Grace didn’t return the smile.

“What’s going on?” Paige asked, a frown now pulling down her lips.

“I’m fine,” Grace said.

“Grace, fess up. You look worse than you did after Jax kissed you.”

Grace’s face fell more. She wasn’t even sure how that was possible at this point.

“Come on,” Paige said, grabbing Grace’s hand. She led her out the back door of the kitchen and onto the porch.

“All right,” Paige said, letting go of Grace’s hand and rounding on her. “Did the two of you…” Paige trailed off, not finishing the question.

“No, we didn’t have sex,” Grace whispered.

But oh, they’d been so freaking close.

“Almost though,” Paige said, giving a small nod of her head.

“What are you? A mind reader these days?”

“No, you just look really upset. What happened?” Paige reached out, running her hand up Grace’s arm.

“You
can’t
tell Brendan. Promise?” Grace asked.

“I won’t tell him,” Paige said seriously.

“Last night, Jax came over to my apartment to apologize about the kiss at the café and the incident at the bar on Saturday.”

“What incident at the bar?”

“We got into an argument,” Grace said.

“Why am I not surprised?”

“He said some stuff. I threw a beer in his face and slapped him.”

 “I told you he was going to get a cold drink thrown in his face. But what did he do?”

Grace told Paige all about what had happened at the Sleepy Sheep. Paige’s mouth fell open in shock.

“You should’ve slapped him twice,” Paige said angrily.

“He was so mean. He’s never talked to me that way before. I just don’t get it, he doesn’t want me, but he doesn’t want anybody else to have me, either. How does that make sense?”

“When it comes to you, I think all of Jax’s sense goes out the window.”

“I don’t think I can do it anymore,” Grace said sadly as she reached up and rubbed a spot over her heart.

“Grace?” Paige said her name with so much concern that Grace had to close her eyes for a moment. She only opened them again after she regained some semblance of her composure.

“I can’t wait around for him to figure it out anymore, because I don’t think he ever will figure it out. He doesn’t think he’s good enough. That’s what he said yesterday. He came over and we started kissing and… God, Paige, it felt so right. Him and me, it felt
so
right,
so
real. But
too
real for him, because he stopped and left. I’ve wanted that man for so long, but I think I’m done waiting.”

“Oh, sweetie,” Paige said sadly.

“It’s fine. I’ll be fine,” Grace said, but she knew she was just lying to herself.

“Grace, can I ask you one thing?”

 “Yes.” She nodded slowly.

“Do you think you can get over him?” Paige asked seriously, doubt written all over her face.

Grace laughed, except there was absolutely no humor in it. “Ohhh, if it were only that easy. No, I’ll never get over him. Jaxson Anderson will haunt me for the rest of my life.”

The day proved to be a long one. All of the days felt long when Jax wasn’t in them. After Grace left the funeral home, she went back to the café and kept up her routine of secluding herself in the kitchen. She finished her last batch of cookies, cleaned the kitchen, and left before Lula Mae closed up. She pulled into the parking lot of her apartment just after five.

“Oh, fantastic,” she mumbled to herself as she spotted the man leaning against his black BMW. He really was a sight, with his thick, windswept blond hair and his long tanned legs that shot out of his khakis and ended in his worn-out dock shoes. Wouldn’t her life be so much easier if she could just be in love with him?

“What do you want?” she asked as she got out of her Bug and closed the door.

“You and I are going to dinner,” Preston said, pushing himself off the door of his car.

“Oh, are we?” Grace asked, raising her eyebrows.

“Yup, you’re not sulking by yourself for the rest of the night.”

“I’m not sulking,” she said, folding her arms across her chest.

“Riiight, and I’m your fairy godmother.”

“Well—”

“Shut up, and get in my car.”

“You’re such a pain in the ass. Remind me why we’re friends again?” she asked as she made her way around to the passenger side.

“It’s my charm and magnetism. You can’t resist me.” He grinned.

“Now who’s delusional?” Grace slid into the tan leather seats and buckled herself in.

Preston turned the car on and pulled out of the parking lot. “You ready for this?” he asked as he rolled down the windows.

“Always,” she said, leaning back in her seat.

Preston leaned forward and turned the stereo on. A deep, rich voice, that knew the meaning of a broken heart, filled the car and blasted out the windows. Grace’s blond hair whipped around as she opened her mouth and sang as loud as she could.

Never in Jax’s life had he done anything more difficult than walk away from Grace. For so long it had been her walking away from him, giving him that empty feeling that settled in his chest and made him ache.

He’d gone over to her apartment to fix things. Instead, he ruined everything. She’d said there was no going back to the way things had been before. She told him there was only one direction their relationship could go. But he just couldn’t let it go there.

Truth be told, there was no going back for Jax, either. Not after he’d kissed her that first time in the café, and definitely not after that episode on her couch. They’d been so close to having sex, so freaking close.

He’d been too shocked to do anything when Grace tackled him to the couch. The second she straddled him, all his inhibitions had gone out the window. And now he knew. He knew what it was like to be on top of her, knew the sounds she made when he sucked on her breasts, knew what it felt like to have her stroke him. Yeah, there was absolutely no going back for him.
Ever
.

But he wasn’t wrong. Grace deserved someone better than him.

She already had had a difficult enough life. She had no father and then she lost her mother to breast cancer when she was only ten years old. She deserved her happy ending. No, she deserved the whole package. She deserved a guy who wasn’t damaged, a guy who wasn’t screwed up beyond repair, someone who could give her a house and a family, someone who would always keep her safe. She deserved a life with someone who could give her every single one of her dreams.

That someone
wasn’t
Jax. He could never be that guy. He would never be able to give her
happily ever after.

But letting go was going to be a bitch. Every time Jax thought about Grace being with some other guy he wanted to hurt someone, punch his fist through a wall. It was a shame that the demolition portion of the house was finished, because he would have loved to pound a sledgehammer through a wall. Instead he’d spent the day channeling his aggression with a nail gun.

He’d met Shep at the house under construction early on Monday morning. As they worked that day, Shep was unusually quiet. Jax knew it was just a matter of time before the questions came. And they came at the end of the day.

“You talk to Grace?” Shep asked as they started to put the tools away.

“Yeah.” Jax would’ve laughed, but nothing about life was funny at the moment.

“You made it worse, didn’t you?”

“Why do you say that?”

“Because you’re about as cheerful as a sleeping bear that just got poked in the eye,” Shep said as he closed the toolbox.

“You have such a way with words.”

“You’re worse today than you were last week, so I’m guessing you fixed nothing with Grace. The two of you still aren’t talking, are you?”

“There’s nothing going on. So how about you not worry about that?” Jax asked as he put the last of the tools in the garage closet. He locked the door and turned around to find Shep looking at him. Shep’s arms were folded across his chest and he was shaking his head, his face filled with pity.

“What?” Jax asked before he could stop himself.

“When are you going to figure it out?”

“Figure what out?”

“Nothing,” Shep said, shaking his head again. “You ready? I’m starving.”

They pulled into the parking lot of Potbellied Portman’s Barbeque fives minute later. Jax hopped out of his truck and walked around to where Shep had parked. Brendan and Jax had helped Shep restore his ’67 mustang, and it still looked like it did ten years ago. That car was Shep’s baby and he treated it as such.

As they made their way up to the front door, it opened and two people stumbled out laughing.

“Oh, shit,” Shep said coming to a halt.

Oh, shit
didn’t even begin to cover it. It was Grace and Preston. He had his arm around her shoulders and was grinning down at her while she beamed right back up at him.

Jax’s blood began to pound in his veins, and he wouldn’t have been surprised if steam was coming out of his ears. That smarmy prick was all over her, and she was all over him. Jax wanted to break something, and Preston’s face was at the top of the list.

Grace looked up and came up short when she saw Jax and Shep, the grin disappearing from her face like she’d been slapped. He knew the feeling; he felt like he’d just been slugged in the face, too.

They all stood there for a second before Preston cleared his throat. “How you doing, Shep?” he asked as he stuck his hand out to Shep, while the other stayed firmly in place around Grace’s shoulders.

“Doing good,” Shep said, taking the outstretched hand and shaking it. “You?”

“Same old, same old,” he said as they let go. “Jax, how have you been?” he said, sticking his hand out for Jax.

Jax’s hesitation before he grabbed Preston’s hand was obvious. He didn’t want to be friendly to the jackass. He also had the urge to squeeze the shit out of Preston’s hand, ’cause if it was broken, he couldn’t have it on Grace.

“Staying busy,” Jax said before he let go.

“Yeah, I heard about the house remodel. I’d like to see it when it’s all done.”

Preston would come into Jax’s house over his dead body. But Jax only nodded because he couldn’t unhinge his jaw to say anything else.

“All right, well,” Shep said, slapping his hands together. “Good seeing you, Gracie.” He swept in and kissed her on the cheek. “We’re off to eat dinner. You two have a good night.”

Preston led Grace away, and it took everything in Jax not to follow. Not to pull her out of Preston’s arms. Were they going back to his place? Or hers? Were they going to sleep together?

Oh, God.