“I was thinking maybe you could come to work for me. At Jasper’s, I mean.”
Wow. Speechless, she just stared at him, trying to make some sense of it in her mind. He wanted her to work at Jasper’s? She was dead on her feet after a shift at a low-key family restaurant. But a fast-paced, thriving sports bar? She’d be lucky if she didn’t drop halfway through her first shift.
“Not waiting tables, though,” he continued. “I was thinking you could work in the office. Do the books and stuff, which I hate like you wouldn’t believe. We could get you a cushy chair with one of those lumbar pillow things and everything. Rumor has it you went to college for business management.”
“Community college. And I didn’t get my degree.”
“No, but you know the stuff. And, to be honest, if I hired somebody from the outside, it would probably only be a part-time job. But if you learn how to do some inventory and stuff, we can stretch it out so you get the hours you want. And you’ll be off your feet most of the time.”
It sounded wonderful. Off her feet, in a cushy office chair with lower-back support. Nobody complaining when the staff couldn’t read their minds. No more smiling and kissing ass in the hope of filling the tip cup.
But working for Kevin? She already rented from him. It was shaky enough having a roof put over her head by the man she’d had two sort of one-night stands with. Having her paycheck come from him too was a whole new level of vulnerability.
His grin faded. “You’re not saying anything.”
“I’m thinking.” It was so tempting, but the consequences if it didn’t work out could be catastrophic. Nobody was going to hire a visibly pregnant woman.
“See, this is why I was going to trick you.”
“That wasn’t a very good plan.” She sighed, so conflicted she didn’t know where to begin. “But making up a job so—”
“Whoa. It’s not made up. I hate doing the books and the only reason I haven’t already hired somebody to do it is the fact advertising and interviewing and hiring somebody’s even more of a pain in the ass than accounting. It’s a legit job. Promise.”
It sounded not only legit, but perfect. Or almost perfect, because the risk in giving up the job she already had to work for the man whose baby she was carrying and apartment she was renting wasn’t inconsiderable.
She chanced looking into his eyes, expecting to find sincerity warming the usually playful glint. And there it was, practically pleading with her to give him a chance. To give the job a chance.
With no crystal ball, she had no idea how things would turn out—not with the baby and not with their relationship. But she didn’t need a fortune-telling device to know that, no matter how they were getting along a month from now, or three months or three years, Kevin wouldn’t walk away from her. No matter how pissed off or tired of her he got, he’d do right by her and the baby.
“I’ll do it,” she said before she could talk herself out of it.
His dimples flashed as he slapped a hand over his heart in mock surprise. “Just like that?”
“Did you want me to argue with you first?”
“Hell no, but I had pictured this conversation going somewhat differently. You’d get all offended I didn’t think you could do your job and then you’d get all pissed off and accuse me of trying to be the boss of you and then…”
“And then?”
“And then I had kinda pictured us having make-up sex. And then christening-the-new-office-chair sex. And maybe christening-the-old-office-desk sex because, as far as I know, it was never christened. And—”
“Stop!” She held up her hand, laughing at his overly innocent expression. “How did you get from me being offended and pissed off to having sex?”
He shrugged. “It’s like that six-degrees-of-Kevin-Bacon game, only I have a lot fewer degrees. Pissed off? Make-up sex. New office furniture? Christening sex. Grocery shopping? Whipped cream sex.”
“Scrubbing the toilet?”
“Sneaking up and bending you over the vanity sex.”
Or shower sex. Steamy, scented, slippery shower sex. “Okay, here’s a hard one—pregnant lady.”
“Oh, that’s an easy one.” He reached over and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, making her shiver. “I think about that one a lot. Maybe a back rub that turns into slow, sweet sex. Me, flat on my back and you riding me so the baby doesn’t get squashed.”
As heat wound through her body, causing some tingling and aching, she cursed herself for giving him the opening. “Sorry. I have a rule about sleeping with my boss.”
“Damn.” He actually looked disappointed. “Hoist with my own petard.”
“Do you even know what that means?”
“No. I don’t think anybody does, but Joe says it.”
“Regret offering me a job now, boss?”
“No.” He heaved a dramatic sigh. “I still think we could make it work. Locked-in-the-beer-cooler-and-have-to-get-naked-to-warm-each-other-and-stay-alive sex.”
“Nice try. I’m sure one of the many women who kiss napkins for you would be happy to get locked in with you, though.”
“I haven’t had sex with anybody but you since the night we met.”
She’d suspected as much, but she worked some nights and he had women throwing themselves at him and…she’d hoped he hadn’t. “You’ve only had sex twice since the beginning of October?”
“Yup. Same as you.”
While a part of her went all warm and fuzzy at the fact he hadn’t hopped from her bed to some other woman’s, the other part of her was anxious. She didn’t want him waiting around for something she couldn’t give him. “We’re not in a relationship, Kevin, which means you can sleep with somebody else.”
“You told me before we can’t have a relationship and then we had sex. Kinda hoping we stay true to pattern here.”
“That was…we agreed that wouldn’t happen again.”
“No, you said it wouldn’t happen again and I didn’t argue with you—out loud, anyway—because you can get prickly pretty damn fast.”
Prickly? He should try feeling like the least sexy woman on the planet by day and suffering through porn dreams by night. He’d be pretty damn prickly, too.
Prickly…five o’clock shadow…the rasp of his prickly jaw over her breasts…
Crap, now she was doing it, too.
“When should I give my notice?” she asked, desperate to change the subject.
For a few seconds, she didn’t think he was going to let it go, but then he shrugged. “Tomorrow. With the economy the way it is, they’ve probably got a file full of applications, so tell them you’re done as soon as they hire a replacement.”
Even as she nodded, Beth wondered if she was making a huge mistake. Not because she was worried about being without a job if things went south with Kevin, but because of Kevin himself. Now she not only lived across the hall, but she’d be working with him every day.
That was a lot of Kevin to resist, and she was barely managing now. A few more dreams like the ones tormenting her recently, and she might stop resisting him at all.
April
Kevin set a frosty mug in front of his brother, almost dumping it in Mike’s lap when Beth waddled by.
Countless women had walked through his bar. Walked. Sashayed. Danced. Staggered. He’d even had a few try to climb up onto the bar and strip. Who knew he’d be turned on by the one who waddled?
With only two months left until her due date, Beth had hit the basketball belly, walk-like-a-duck phase of impending motherhood. Funny, but when his sister and sister-in-law had gone through it, he hadn’t found it nearly so attractive.
Could be he’d find Beth attractive no matter what she looked like. Or it could be the fact he’d only had sex twice in the last six and a half months and the last time had been back in February. But if it was just a matter of neglected libido, things probably would have perked up a bit below the belt when he read some of the napkin offers.
Even
I’d ride you longer than eight seconds, cowboy
hadn’t tempted him.
But the sight of Beth waddling from the kitchen to the office, timecards in hand, tempted him. Tempted him a lot. And when she paused to give him a smile over her shoulder, things definitely perked up.
Unfortunately, she was still all about being friends. Over the months they’d proven themselves good at that, as long he didn’t get too pushy, but he was really starting to hate the neighbors who just happened to be having a baby together routine. He wanted more.
Kevin leaned on the bar so he could keep his voice down. “Tell me something, Mikey. Would you have married Lisa if she didn’t get pregnant?”
Mike did a double-take at the change in subject, since they’d been talking about Red Sox spring training, but a long swallow of beer helped him get over it. He shrugged. “There’s really no way to answer that since she
did
get knocked up, but I’d like to think so.”
Because, if not, it meant their entire marriage was based on an accidental pregnancy, not love. “Do you ever—”
“No. Whatever it is, no.”
Fair enough. Kevin didn’t think he’d want to go through his entire life second-guessing his marriage, either.
He mentally slapped his forehead. Which was Beth’s whole point. She didn’t want to spend her life wondering if Kevin would have stayed interested in her if not for the baby. He’d watched his sister-in-law have a meltdown just last year because of that, so why had he thought Beth wouldn’t have the same doubts?
“You wanna know what I think?” Mike asked.
“Sure.” At this point he needed all the help he could get.
“I think you should wait. Lisa and I had been seeing each other for a while and it was still hard. You got Beth pregnant on your first date. That’s not even enough time to know if you like her, never mind the ’til death do you part hook-up.”
Not entirely true. Call him crazy, but he knew he liked her the day he broke her ex-boss’s nose. He knew he
really
liked her before Joe’s reception was even over. And since…
He loved the idea of having a baby with Beth. He loved the idea of being a father. He loved the idea of seeing Beth every day.
But did he love Beth?
How the hell was he supposed to know for sure? It’s not like there was a quiz he could take. Or a checklist or a Ouija board or a pie chart or any other damn definitive way to tell.
He picked up the bottled water he stuck to while working and, after taking a slug, picked at the label. “Wait for what, though?”
“Wait until the baby’s a screaming, shitting ball of constant hunger and Beth hasn’t had a decent night’s sleep in months and she hasn’t had time for a shower in three days and no matter what you say, she takes your head clean off your shoulders. Then, if you still think she’s the most beautiful woman in the world and there’s nowhere else you’d rather be, then maybe it’s the real deal.”
It sounded real and horrible and wonderful. “Is that how you felt?”
“Hell, Kev, I was a lot younger than you. Young and stupid. Took me a long time to get my head straight, but there was never a day I actually would have walked out the door.”
“I can’t imagine walking out the door on Beth.”
Mike tipped his beer mug at him. “It hasn’t been hard yet.”
“We’ve hit a couple of bumps.”
“You ain’t seen nothing yet. Trust me.”
Kevin wasn’t stupid. He knew having a newborn was going to be the hardest thing they’d ever been through.
But she’d have him to lean on when she was tired. She’d get a decent night’s sleep because he’d take his turn feeding and changing the screaming, shitting ball of constant hunger. Maybe he could handle breakfast duty so she could shower.
Hard to do with a hallway between them though. It would be so much easier if—
“Look at you, all starry-eyed.” Mike laughed. “Sucker. Trust me, whatever way it is you’re thinking your infant experience is going to be easier than my infant experience? You are
so
wrong.”
He and Beth weren’t scared shitless kids, for one thing. They were adults, with life experience and common sense under their belts. They made a good team. “We’ll make out okay.”
“Sure you will.” Mike held up his mug for a refill. “Enough with the girl talk. I came here to watch the game.”
***
Paulie ran her fingers over Sam’s bare chest, ignoring the crappy Western that had caused him to pause in his incessant channel surfing. They’d fallen into bed too early so, after a rousing bout of mind-blowing sex and enough cuddling to keep him out of trouble, he’d clicked on the TV.
She closed her eyes and ignored the high noon showdown going on. Sam wouldn’t be getting up and going home, so she was free to drift off to sleep in his arms tonight. She’d wake up the same way in the morning, just as she had the morning before and the morning before that. It was a comfortable pattern and he hadn’t spent a night at the bed-and-breakfast for several weeks, at least.
She was almost asleep when he popped her bubble. She should have known it was coming by the way his body stayed tense rather than relaxing into a post-lovemaking languid state. And the way he kept clearing his throat as if he was going to talk, then not saying anything.
“So Marsha’s Spring Fling fundraiser is next week,” he finally said in a very casual tone that set off alarm bells in her head. “I was hoping maybe you’d come with me.”
She’d known it would come up eventually, but she’d been hoping eventually would be a long time coming. “I have to work.”
“I bet you could switch shifts if it was important to you.”
“It’s not important to me.” She rolled back to her side of the bed and stared up at the ceiling. “That’s the point.”
She thought maybe that was the end of it, but then he sighed and turned off the television. Through the corner of her eye she saw him roll over to face her, but she kept her gaze on the ceiling.
“Is that so much to ask? One fundraiser?”
Of course it was too much to ask because if she went, he’d ask her again. And again and again and again. Before she knew it, she’d be Paulette Atherton again, broiling under the intense spotlight of her parents’ disapproval.
“I told you I’m not that person anymore.” She kept her voice level, but inside she was screaming. How could she have been so stupid as to think there was a chance in hell this would work? That was his world. Of course he was going to go back to it. And try to drag her with him.
“Putting on a nice dress and attending a function with me doesn’t change who you are. And it’s just one evening. What could it hurt?”
It could hurt her, that’s what. Maybe it was different being the only son of parents who actually seemed like nice people, because he’d obviously never felt inadequate under a parent’s censoring glare.
When she didn’t say anything, he nudged her with his knee. “Okay, so you’re not ready yet. Don’t get all bent out of shape about it.”
“If you’re going to hang out and wait until I’m ready to go back to Boston, you might want to get really, really comfortable.”
He moved closer to her and propped himself up on his elbow so he was looking down at her, which pretty effectively blocked her view of the ceiling and gave her no choice but to look at him. “Paulie, don’t make a bigger deal out of this than it is.”
“It
is
a big deal because it means you haven’t been listening to me.”
“I listen. It’s one of the more fun and casual events on the social calendar, so I invited you. You don’t want to go. No big deal.” He leaned down and nuzzled below her ear. “It’s not the first time you’ve rejected me, you know.”
“Probably won’t be the last, either.” She turned her head to give him better access to her neck.
He skimmed over her neck and headed straight for her breasts. “I’ll risk it.”
***
Beth knew something was up when Paulie showed up wearing a black sweater and flats with her jeans rather than her usual sports jersey and sneakers. It also looked like she’d gone easy on the eyeliner.
“You’re awfully dressed up just to go to lunch.”
Paulie looked down at herself. “I’m hardly dressed up. And I’m, uh…meeting Sam after for…something.”
She was such a bad liar. “If we were going somewhere somebody might take pictures or something, you’d tell me, right? Because you’re my best friend.”
“I’m not telling you anything because Mrs. Kowalski is
fierce.
But a dab of lip gloss might not hurt.”
“Give me five minutes.”
“Not too much,” Paulie called after her, “or people might wonder why you got all dolled up just to go to lunch with me.”
Ten minutes later, Beth managed to lower herself into Paulie’s Miata. “You’re going to need a crane to get me out.”
“Yeah, thought about switching vehicles with Kev, but we’d need a crane to get you up into his Jeep. Either way, not gonna be pretty.” She got in herself and fired up the ignition. “You know, you’re the only person I know who doesn’t own a car.”
“It’s only a matter of time before I’m fishing week-old Cheerios out of my minivan seats. Enjoying my freedom while I still can.”
A few minutes later they pulled up in front of a beautiful restaurant known for its function room and Beth managed to hoist herself out of the tiny car without making too much of a spectacle of herself.
“You better look surprised,” Paulie hissed before they went in, “Or Mrs. K will tear me a new one.”
She didn’t have to pretend. Even though she’d suspected it was baby shower day from the minute Paulie walked into her apartment, she hadn’t expected it to be so…much. Balloons and streamers and banners.
And her parents. Seeing the happy tears in her mother’s eyes, Beth came totally undone and was sobbing by the time she got her arms around her. She’d missed her mom and she hadn’t realized just how much until she saw her.
“Look at that belly,” Shelly exclaimed and Beth laughed through the tears.
Eventually her mother let go of her and let her dad have a turn. Then came all the Kowalskis. She realized with a start all the guys were there—Kevin’s brothers and his dad and brother-in-law—and not just the women. Even his nephews.
After Stephanie hugged her, she had to lean forward so the girl could slip a tiara on her head. Then Kevin was next to her, slipping his arm around her very substantial waistline.
“Surprise!” He grinned and kissed her cheek.
She spotted Darcy, Randy and a couple of the cooks over by the punch bowl. “Who’s tending the bar?”
He shrugged. “We’re opening late today. Our friends want to celebrate our baby, so what the hell, right?”
“What the hell,” she agreed. She saw Bobby practically running across the room toward her and laughed. “Here he comes.”
The temporarily youngest Kowalski put his hands right on her belly. “Hey, cuz! Why do you have a baby shower? So the baby doesn’t stink!”
They all laughed and then she was guided to a chair decorated with pink and blue streamers and inflatable baby bottles. She felt incredibly special on her throne, wearing a tiara, and she didn’t have to fake her smiles as the camera flashes blinded her.
Then the parade of gifts began. Big gifts. Small gifts. Everything in between gifts. From socks to a top-of-the-line stroller and diapers to a carseat, the pile of things she wouldn’t have to buy for the baby grew almost as tall as Kevin. And one thing her child would never want for? Sports T-shirts and Onesies. Red Sox, Celtics, Bruins, Patriots and the Revolution—there was some kind of garment for every team. There was more red, white, blue, green, black and gold than mint-green.
The celebration continued in true Kowalski fashion—food and laughter and more food. And, even though she wouldn’t have believed it, Arty and Shelly Hansen seemed to fit right in. Whatever stories Leo and her dad were exchanging had them laughing together, and her mother was more than happy to fuss through the pile of baby gifts with Kevin’s mom.
When the wait staff wheeled out a three-layer cake capped off by a cute pair of baby booties, Kevin leaned so close to Beth his lips were practically brushing her ear. “I specifically requested chocolate cake because I know how much you like it.”
Even though the temperature in the function room skyrocketed, a deliciously slow shiver tickled her spine.
“It’s been a while since you’ve had a slice.” He rested his hand on the small of her back. “You must be craving a lick of that sweet, sticky frosting.”
Oh, she was, with an aching intensity that almost took her breath away. So when the cake was set up and their family and friends were turning to see her reaction, she did the only thing she could to save herself the humiliation of throwing herself in his arms.
She elbowed him in the gut.
“Oomph.” He took a step back.
The cake was delicious, but with every burst of chocolate on her tongue, her gaze was drawn to Kevin, who was making a big production of licking the frosting off his fork. With each swirl and flick of his tongue, the throbbing knot of need deep inside her seemed to tighten, but reality in the form of their friends and family kept her from doing something stupid, like straddling his lap and licking the frosting off his lips. Well, that and the fact she wasn’t sure she
could
straddle his lap anymore.