Under Ground (6 page)

The moment William comes to pick
me up arrives faster than I expected, and when the chimes ring, my
heart stops beating. Walter opens the door. William’s driver is
there waiting. My mother looks at me one last time and nods. I look
good enough that I may proceed to the car. I walk to the front door
like a condemned woman on death row. I try to breathe over and over
again. Breathe, I tell myself, the trick is to keep breathing and
not faint.

The driver leads me to the
vehicle. I’m shocked to see it’s a limousine. Such luxury implies
that William’s family is even wealthier than I had realized. The
back door is open. The driver takes me to it, and I step inside as
graciously as possible. William is there sitting in the back seat.
He doesn’t turn his head as I get in. He’s looking outside the
window as if he can’t get far enough from me. This promises to be a
great date! I clear my throat to indicate that I’m here though for
sure he’s aware of my presence. He finally deigns to turn his head
and look at me. He sizes me up, but he doesn’t smile. He just nods
his head to greet me.

The car starts and my heart
squeezes slightly.

"Are you thirsty?" William asks
me.

My throat is dry. I could
definitely use a drink.

"We have soda, juice, or liquor,"
he adds.

I’ve never been in a car before.
I’m surprised there’s actual alcohol in it and even more shocked
that William is allowed to drink it. I’ve never drunk spirits
before, but I’ve heard they can confuse your senses and blur your
thoughts.

"Juice, please."

He fills a cup for me, hands me my
drink, and pours himself a glass of soda mixed with vodka. I’m not
sure if he just wants to try it or if he’s more nervous than he's
letting on and needs the alcohol to relax.

I look at him and find myself
stunned by the splendor of his face, his features sculpted with
delicacy and refinement. His aloofness is still keeping me at bay
though, making him unreachable. It's been close to impossible for
me to connect with him. I hope tonight will help improve our
relationship and that I'll finally get a bit closer to him. As soon
as his glass is full, William just stares outside the window. He
takes a sip and ignores me completely. I want to talk to him, but I
don’t know how. He's hiding behind that wall he has built around
himself to keep me and everyone else at a secure distance. I don’t
know how to catch his attention.

He suddenly turns his face and
puts his eyes on me. “Do you often write poetry?”

His question surprises me. I
stutter some kind of answer. I sound horribly dim, unable to find
my words. I take a deep breath. “Yes, I do.”

“What do you write
about?”

I don’t trust myself to tell him
what most of my poems truly involve, so I describe the ones I show
everybody else. “I write about things that touch me. The poem I
read at dinner was an ode to my late grandfather.”

William looks at me as shock and
embarrassment flicker through his eyes. “I’m sorry my mother was
rude about it then,” he says. “Sometimes she can be cruel, just for
the sake of it.”

I stare at him for a bit too long.
Do William and his mother not get along as well as she would
like us to believe?
I want to say that it’s okay, to make him
feel better, but it would be a lie. It is not okay, and thinking
about his mother's behavior just makes me mad all over again. I
clear my throat and change the subject.

“Do you sometimes write also?” I
ask.

“No, that’s not a skill of mine,
I’m afraid,” he replies before taking a sip of his drink. “I do
read a lot though.”

I love reading too, which means
that William and I have something in common after all.

"What do you like to read?" I
ask.

"Science fiction," he replies. "I
own a lot of books. My father also has a huge library in his
office. If you're interested, I might show you one day."

I nod with enthusiasm, my body now
fully turned toward him.

"I also enjoy poetry," he adds,
not smiling once as he speaks.

I would never have guessed that
William could be sensitive enough to appreciate poetry. Maybe I
could grow to love him after all. William and I might get to know
each other better tonight. I feel lighter now.

"What's your favorite book?" I
ask, truly curious about him.

"
The Picture of Dorian
Gray
," he answers, with a tiny smirk. "I find the character
truly likable. He's quite an inspiration, really."

"I've never read that novel. Would
you lend it to me someday?" I ask.

His left eyebrow rises and he
takes a few seconds to study me, his eyes slightly narrowed as if I
were an enigma he couldn't quite understand.

"Sure," he replies. His hand
reaches for mine, and I accept it more willingly than I thought I
would.

By the time we reach the school,
I've relaxed and feel more comfortable in his presence. After
stopping the car, the driver opens the back door for us. William
walks out first and extends his hand for me to grab. I take it and
step out. He puts his arm under mine and leads the way. We step
under a porch before reaching the courtyard. There, many students
are standing around or talking together. There are more boys than
girls since only those with a match living close-by could bring a
girl with them.

William looks around as if he's
searching for someone. Then he leads me toward the gymnasium where
the ball is taking place. The outside is decorated with paper
lanterns and ribbons. The music is pounding loudly from inside the
building. As we get closer, more students appear in my view. Most
of them are chatting, with drinks in their hands.

William's green eyes dart around
some more before he takes me inside. The gymnasium at my school is
big, but this one is gigantic. Posters representing the different
teams ornament the walls. I recognize the one for the football
team: a blue panther engulfed in purple flames. The floor is
covered with confetti. A disco ball is hanging from the ceiling,
reflecting lights all around the dance floor. No band was hired for
this event. Instead, a DJ has taken the job.

William takes me further in. He
doesn’t look at me once. Maybe he’s simply nervous. He pulls me in
as quickly as possible, drops my arm, and finally turns to me. "Do
you want a drink?"

I nod and he heads to the punch
table to fill two cups. I use that time to study my surroundings
and observe the other couples. Some of them seem nervous while some
others are familiar with each other. All the girls are wearing blue
dresses.

William walks back to me, his head
held high with pride. I catch his eye when he gives me my drink. I
open my mouth to talk, but his glance shifts right away, cutting me
off. I can’t tell if he’s just extremely shy or truly
inconvenienced with having to bring me here tonight. If anything, I
should be the nervous one. It is my future resting in his hands
after all and not the other way around.

I'm about to reach for him when he
says, "I'll be right back." And just like that, he’s gone. It’s as
if he couldn’t get away from me fast enough.

His attitude is upsetting me. The
boiling anger surfaces, erupting slowly, and I’m not sure I’ll be
able to contain it this time. I cross my arms and send him a nasty
glare as he turns his back on me. The arrogance and rudeness of
this family is getting on my last nerve. I didn’t ask to be dragged
to this stupid ball. The least he could do is act like he
appreciates my presence here. I watch him closely as he walks
toward his friends. They tap him on the back when they see him. I
notice that one guy doesn’t though; he just holds out his hand for
William to shake.

I'm vexed that William didn’t care
to present me to his friends. I wonder if he’ll have the decency to
do so at some point, but seeing how things have gone so far, I
don’t really count on it.
Am I that repulsive that he’s trying
to hide me like some nasty little secret?

I thought we had managed to cross
a bridge and reach toward each other in the car. I thought I'd be
more comfortable around William. But now, I realize I was wrong.
William is not interested in me. I’m just a formality, something he
has to deal with, and he doesn’t want to put any effort into our
relationship. His snubbing me makes my position quite unstable and
shaky, and I’m not comfortable with that.

I keep on staring at him with
anger. I couldn't care less if he sees me. He’s being rude. I wish
my eyes could throw daggers so he would fall down on the spot. I’m
so mad that my life and future are resting in the hands of such a
careless, inconsiderate jerk that I’m shaking at the mere thought
of it. But he just stays there, talking to his buddies and laughing
as if nothing’s the matter. I have a sudden urge to walk up to him
and slap him right in the face in front of all his friends. The
anger is still rising from within. Something new is taking shape
inside my heart. It’s not hatred really, but something close to it.
Right now, I just truly despise William, and knowing I'll have to
spend my life with him makes me want to throw up.

I'm ready to walk out of this
place when a gap opens in the group and he appears—the boy who held
out his hand for William to shake. It’s him—the boy from the
stadium. I stand here, frozen. Of course, his presence at the
football field means he’s going to William’s school.
Why didn't
I put two and two together?

I stare at him a bit too long, and
he must have felt it because his eyes rise to take me in, for just
one second. It doesn’t seem like he has recognized me, and
disappointment seizes my heart right away, tearing at it. What I
felt during the football game was not returned. This boy is like
all the others, and I am nothing to him. But then, his eyes meet
mine again and remain there. I can't look away; his gaze is holding
mine with intensity. He doesn’t smile, and I forget to breathe. I
avert my eyes. I’m blushing. I'm embarrassed at how my cheeks keep
on betraying me. When I dare steal a glance again, his eyes are
still devouring me whole and I get nervous that someone might catch
him staring.

I turn around and walk to the
punch table. I’m walking on a cloud, as if I were flying. I step as
steadily as I can in my high-heels, with emotions rushing through
my core.

There’s a line at the table; I
have to wait. When I finally reach the punch bowl, I take the
serving spoon. My hand is shaking. I try to control it as I fill my
glass. I need to get a grip on myself. Someone behind me reaches
for the spoon, and I extend it to them. When I look up, I see that
it’s him. I stumble backward and almost drop punch all over myself.
He holds out a hand to steady me, but I’ve recovered my balance
already. I take a step back, and a flirtatious grin spreads on his
face—the same mischievous smile that he sent me at the game. I find
it both irritating and engaging. My cheeks burn under his
gaze.

“Hi, I'm Chi,” he says while
beaming at me.

His name sounds like "shy," not at
all what I had imagined all those times I thought about him. He
extends his hand to me as he introduces himself. I recoil and scan
the room nervously to see if anyone has witnessed this incident.
Even though there is still a line behind us, everyone's busy
picking up cake or talking to each other. Chi laughs at my
reaction.

He bends close to my ear to
whisper, “It’s okay. No one’s watching, and he’s not paying any
attention to you.”

His breath against my skin makes
me shiver. His closeness is unsettling, but he steps back really
quickly—too quickly. A part of me wants him closer. Of course, by
“he” he means “William.” He knows. He knows whom I’m promised to,
and yet he’s flirting with me. The recklessness of it all is both
attractive and disconcerting.

He beckons with his head for me to
follow him. I’m at a loss what to do. There's this sudden pull
inside me and a tempting voice in my ear telling me to go after
him. But I’m petrified, paralyzed on the spot. I stay where I am
while he makes his way through the crowd. I have to act now before
he’s too far ahead or I may lose him.

I run after him, but William
chooses this exact second to step in front of me. I sigh in relief
and frustration. Of course, William would choose this moment to
finally show up. I steal a glance at Chi, but he’s already far away
and he won’t turn around. I focus on William and force a smile on
my face. Even if he's been rude to me, I need to hide the insane
thoughts that have been flooding my mind since I saw
Chi.

“I was talking to my friends,"
William says, "and I lost track of time a little.”

I guess that’s as good an excuse
as it gets when it comes to him, so I just accept it. I search for
Chi through the crowd. He has turned around at last, and he’s
looking at me. When our eyes meet, he shrugs, gives a tiny smile,
and walks away. I sigh in relief. I'm not sure what I was about to
do, but it would have been a bad idea.

“It’s okay. I went for more
punch,” I reply. “Did you want some?”

"No. Do you want to sit
down?"

I nod. I'd rather dance than
remain still all evening, but I already know he's never going to
ask, so I might as well forget the idea. We find seats. William is
fidgety; he's stirring in his chair. His behavior is so annoying
that I almost roll my eyes at him. I scan the crowd for Chi again,
but he’s nowhere to be found. Disappointment crushes me down, and
it doesn’t take long before William leans toward me to tell me
he’ll be right back. Maybe I'm just imagining it, but I could swear
his breath smelled like alcohol. He stands up and walks to the
punch table. This time, he didn’t even ask me if I wanted
some.