Under His Control (For His Pleasure, Book 18) (5 page)

“I agree. I’m so sorry.”

“I told you I’m not interested in your apologies.”

“But I
want
to apologize, Nicole.”

Nicole looked at the approaching waiter with a strained smile. “Lovely, the two plates of French toast are here.”

The waiter set the plates down, and Kennedy had to admit, the food looked unbelievable. She immediately took a heavenly bite, and moaned with pleasure.

“It’s good, isn’t it?” Nicole asked. She cut a few very tiny pieces and fed them to Riley. Riley held out her hands and gurgled, pointing at Kennedy.

“I think she wants to be held,” Nicole said, pulling Riley out of her stroller and holding her tightly, bouncing her a little as the baby looked around.

Now Riley was giggling and looking at Kennedy.

Kennedy’s face reddened as the baby made eye contact with her. It was like looking at an angel. Riley’s eyes were so innocent, so radiant and trusting.

Riley held out her arms and leaned towards Kennedy, her vocalizations growling louder and even more insistent.

“Shoot,” Nicole said. “She’s not usually like this.”

“Could I just hold her for a moment?” Kennedy asked. “Please?”

Nicole looked uncomfortable at the prospect. “I don’t know.”

The baby was crying a little now, straining as she tried to reach toward her aunt, and Nicole finally gave her over to Kennedy, who held her easily.

Instantly, Riley calmed down. She looked up at Kennedy and gurgled with a wide grin. “Momma,” she said. She reached out with her tiny little hand and stroked Kennedy’s hair.

Kennedy grimaced and looked at Nicole. “Sorry.”

“You keep apologizing. It’s kind of obnoxious.” Nicole shifted in her chair, her mouth frowning more thoroughly as Riley cooed and gurgled and relaxed into Kennedy’s arms.

Riley’s eyes were so kind, so forgiving, Kennedy thought. And Riley came from her mother. Even though Nicole was being mean and unkind, Kennedy took comfort in the knowledge that deep down Nicole was a good and kind person. Just looking into Riley’s cherubic face, Kennedy knew it was so.

“Okay, time to go back to Mommy,” Kennedy said, repressing the urge to plant a big wet kiss on the little girl’s cheek.

Then she handed Riley back to Nicole. Kennedy thought that she sensed a little regret from Nicole, almost as if, despite herself, Nicole had begun to enjoy seeing Kennedy holding her niece.

But then again, Kennedy knew it might just be wishful thinking.

Nicole soothed her baby for a little while, and Kennedy simply ate and enjoyed the rapturous French toast. Sipped coffee.

Kennedy tried to relax and be at ease, despite the fact that she’d been dreaming of this moment intensely. Despite the fact that this was the primary reason she’d initially come to live in New York.

Of course, that had changed recently. Now she knew that she belonged in New York, regardless of what happened with Nicole.

Riley had calmed down enough that Nicole was able to put her back in the stroller. She turned her attention to Kennedy again. “Can I trust you to stop pursuing this connection between us?” she asked.

Kennedy sat back as if slapped. “I’m not sure I understand the question.”

“The fact is, I’m not ready to deal with this…with you.” Nicole looked away, her expression one of deep discomfort. “Maybe if you’d approached me differently, I could have found a way to look at the silver lining. I always wanted a sister growing up.”

“Me too.” Kennedy’s eyes were filling with tears and she didn’t want Nicole to see her weakness, so she looked away and willed herself to stop crying.

“I wanted a sister, but this is something else. It’s changed the way I see my father and my family and, to be quite frank, I don’t know that I could ever trust you after the way you went about contacting me. It was so deceptive and just plain strange. I can’t believe that someone who would do what you did, could ever be the kind of person I’d want in my life.”

Kennedy nodded slowly. “So you brought me to breakfast to tell me to stay out of your life.”

Now Nicole did meet Kennedy’s gaze. “I thought I owed it to you to have this conversation in person.”

Kennedy tilted her chin up, defiant. “Thank you for that courtesy.”

“I’m a very direct, honest person,” Nicole said.

“And I’m not?”

“I didn’t say that,” Nicole replied.

“No, but you implied it.” Kennedy shook her head. “I guess I should have expected this, and I suppose I deserve it. But I’d hoped for something else. I’d really hoped we could become friends.”

At this, she thought she imagined that Nicole wavered a little bit. She seemed, for the first time, a bit uncertain. But then Nicole appeared to recover her sense of purpose.

“Perhaps we could have become friends under different circumstances.”

“I know, I know. It’s my fault that we’re under these circumstances.”

“Let’s not go in circles,” Nicole said. “Will you honor my request? Will you leave me alone, leave Riley alone? And stay away from my husband?”

Kennedy flinched. “I don’t have any interest in Red.”

“I just want you to maintain a respectful distance from me and my family.”

“Of course, I’ll honor that.”

“Thank you,” Nicole said. She sighed, played with her coffee cup, spinning it first one direction and then another as she spoke. “Now, I wanted to talk to you about your work at the company.”

“I’ve been fired. I’m very clear on that point,” Kennedy said. “Don’t worry, I have no intention of making a stink about it.”

“You haven’t been fired.”

Kennedy’s brow furrowed. “What?”

“Maybe you will be fired. I don’t know. But I spoke to Red about it, and we both agreed that you shouldn’t be let go from your position at the company.”

A surge of conflicting emotions threatened to overwhelm Kennedy. She took a deep breath and tried to make sense of things. “I don’t understand why you’re keeping me on.”

“If you can maintain a respectful distance from Red and me and anyone else in my side of the family, then I don’t see why you should have to leave your job. But I’ll be honest—I’m not sure if you’re capable of doing that, or if you even want to. Since the entire reason you started working for us was to gain entry into our lives, it’s probably not the kind of job you’d do without that being part of the package. Or is it?” Nicole fixed Kennedy with a particularly intense gaze.

Kennedy felt exposed, but she also knew that she was being offered a very fair opportunity. “The thing is, you’re right that I took the job to be closer to you. In the beginning, anyway. But since I’ve moved here and started work, I found that I actually enjoy living here and working here regardless. I love New York City.”

Nicole nodded, but her expression was guarded. “If you say so. Based on what I gathered from the situation you were in when I caught you skulking around my house half-naked, I’d say you have other reasons for wanting the job.”

So she knows about Easton
, Kennedy thought, her face reddening with shame and embarrassment.

But why should I be embarrassed? Isn’t that exactly how Nicole and Red
Jameson became a couple? All of the papers talked about it.

Kennedy sat up a little straighter. “My private life is my own business. But I can guarantee you that I’m damn good at this job.”

Nicole smiled a little, but the smile this time wasn’t mean or condescending. It was as though she finally liked what she was seeing from Kennedy. “If that’s the case, then we shouldn’t have an issue. Now, I can’t say for certain that you won’t be fired. It’s not up to me. But I can tell you that you won’t be fired for what happened at my house or the fact that you weren’t honest about your ties to me and my family.”

“Thank you,” Kennedy said, struggling not to be overcome by emotion. “I really appreciate that.”

“Red and Easton still need to talk things out. There’s still a chance that you won’t be able to continue on with the company,” Nicole said. “But that’s between them and you. If you are let go, it won’t be because of me.”

“I’m grateful for your understanding.”

“Don’t be grateful,” Nicole said. “Just be respectful of my request. Because if you go back on your word, if you do something else to put me or my family at risk—I will make sure you pay dearly for it,” Nicole said.

Her tone was completely convincing, and Kennedy knew that despite her sister’s grace and charm, beneath the politeness laid a steel resolve to protect herself and the people she loved.

Kennedy nodded and bowed her head. “I promise you that I’ll stay away from you and Red and everyone else in your family. Maybe someday you’ll feel differently about me, but if that day never comes, I’ll respect your wishes and leave you alone.”

“Good,” Nicole said. “It’s settled then.” She pulled out her charge card and waved to the waiter.

***

Kennedy wasn’t sure how she felt as she returned home after her breakfast with her sister. First of all, it had become clear that Nicole didn’t want to actually be sisters.

So there was that.

It had been a fairly stiff rejection, but at the same time, Kennedy saw rays of hope in what had happened. They’d met, just the two of them, and Nicole had seen the way Kennedy was with Riley.

Riley was drawn to me,
Kennedy thought, smiling as she walked down 56th street, the sunlight sparkling off the tops of the tall buildings, the wind breezing against her skin in a not altogether unpleasant way.

If I can prove my trustworthiness to her, maybe in time she’ll start to come
around,
Kennedy thought.

She doesn’t want anything to do with you. She said it in plain English.

That was her initial reaction to a very painful, shocking situation. But if she
really felt that mistrusting, she would have had me fired.

Then again, Kennedy wasn’t sure she hadn’t been fired. Nicole had left that as a gray area, something for Red and Easton to decide together.

Kennedy’s smile faltered.

She arrived back in her apartment and wasn’t sure what to do with herself next.

Was she expected into work tomorrow or not?

She stared at her cell phone and considered her choices. She could sit and wait by the phone, wait for however long it might take Easton to contact her—which could be never—or she could try to contact him first.

The very thought of it made her uneasy.

She decided to make a cup of tea and try to get her thoughts straight.

Don’t call him because you’re hoping for something more. If he cared about you
at all, really cared about you, he’d have checked in by now.

Kennedy watched her teapot slowly come to a boil, standing in her claustrophobic kitchen and staring at the flame from the gas burner as it tickled the bottom of the pot.

Finally, the pot started to squeal, whistling in a high pitch that subsided as she removed the teakettle from the flame and poured the water into a mug. She let it steep for a few minutes, still considering her options.

By the time she was sipping at the piping hot mug, Kennedy knew she had to call Easton first.

She wasn’t going to sit around and wait for Easton. Who knew how or when he would bother to tell her what was going on?

Kennedy put down her mug on the counter and picked up her phone. She took a deep breath and relaxed her shoulders.

Nicole told you that you might still have a job, and you have every right to find
out if that’s the case.

Having determined her own rights, Kennedy felt just a little bolder and ready to stand up to Easton if he tried to make her feel bad for calling him.

She dialed his number and waited.

He didn’t pick up. Instead, it went to voicemail after a handful of rings. She pictured him sending her to voicemail, staring at his caller ID with a look of disgust on his face.

She imagined him in a meeting with a beautiful woman who he was interviewing to replace Kennedy.

The thought nearly drove her mad with desperation and jealousy, even though she knew she was being crazy.

She hung up her cell and decided to send him a text instead. That way, Kennedy thought, she could be fairly certain to get some sort of response from him.

I should have texted him to start with.

Kennedy’s pulse was racing and she was sweating lightly, as if she’d been doing some exercise before picking up the phone.

What to say? How to phrase it to give the right impression of professional interest without letting Easton know just how badly she wanted his response?

Just keep it honest, simple, and solely related to the job
.

Yes
, Kennedy thought, nodding her head.
Keep it simple and honest.

She wrote a very elegant, professional text to Easton and sent it before she could second-guess her decision. It read:

Hi, it’s Kennedy. I met with Nicole Jameson today and she told me that I might
still have my job with the company. Please let me know when we can discuss.

She read it back over and over, making sure that she hadn’t written anything that would come back to haunt her or embarrass her in some way.

After a dozen rereads, Kennedy felt more and more confident that she’d written Easton the perfect text. There hadn’t been even the slightest whiff of emotionality or unprofessionalism. He had to respond, didn’t he?

But as the time drew on, and her tea cooled, and she sipped and sipped, refilling her mug more than once, waiting next to her cell phone.

Nothing.

Maybe Easton’s in a meeting
.

But after hours went by, and then afternoon descended into early evening, and early evening into night, Kennedy realized that Easton was ignoring her.

The thought simultaneously terrified and angered her. What right did he have?

She was an employee, and one who it could be said had been sexually harassed by her boss—(
well, it’s not harassment because you wanted it at least as much as he did
)—and yet that same boss had the nerve to ignore her.