Under His Spell (10 page)

J
IM JERKED AWAKE.
He’d been doing that all night, slamming into alertness, only to realize that it was still the middle of the night, Nicky was still asleep beside him on his bed, and that he really needed to get some rest. Especially since he had no idea how today’s “morning after” with Nicky was going to go.

He glanced at the clock—6:42. He looked down at her. Her hair was a bit of a mess, fat curls going every which way, some in clumps, other in wispy strands. Her face was slack in sleep, and he saw bits of something shimmery around her eyes. The remains of yesterday’s makeup, he realized. Her lips were open, her breathing deep, but no snoring. That was nice. And then there was her naked shoulder, the tops of her naked breasts, and her bare arm curled up beneath her pillow.

All in all, a beautiful sight. He set his head back down on his pillow and wondered at his conclusion. Individually, the details of her appearance were rather unattractive. But put together in the whole package that was Nicky, she was stunningly beautiful to him. Just lying here next to her made him feel special, like a warm
thrill trembled somewhere beneath the surface of his skin. Every moment that she lay beside him, something deep in his heart was doing a happy dance.

He sighed. He needed to think, not lay here mooning over her. He’d gotten several clues into Nicky’s psyche last night, and he wanted to figure out as much as possible about her before she woke up. He knew that she had two rather distinct personas. The first was Executive Nicky, as he mentally dubbed the gray-suited woman who was permanently attached to her PDA/cell phone. She was the one who orchestrated everything in her life. Even sex, apparently. She ordered everyone around including herself. Executive Nicky seemed to be afraid that if she let up in any way for even a moment, then disaster would strike. She’d lose her job, her home, her everything. He knew for sure that Executive Nicky didn’t want to acknowledge that the other Nicky, Sexy Nicky, even existed. Executive Nicky would never even imagine the things that Sexy Nicky did. And if she did, she’d never, ever admit to it.

The question was why? Why was Executive Nicky so strong? Why did it have to take hypnotism for Sexy Nicky to come out? He’d caught another clue when she said she had terrible taste in men. He knew that had been true in high school. He’d been there prom night rescuing her from the drunken captain of the wrestling team. But could one bad choice in high school color the entire rest of her life? Maybe. Executive Nicky didn’t tolerate any screwups, her own most especially. But did Nicky not trust herself because of a single bad boyfriend, or was there more to it? How many bad choices had she made?

He wanted to ask her these questions. He wanted to explore them with her and help her get to Sexy Nicky as
often as possible. With him, hopefully. But how did he keep Executive Nicky from blowing a gasket while they searched for the answer? Sure, he could keep hypnotizing her, but that really felt like cheating. Sexy Nicky was great for a night. Or a hundred nights. But in the end, he’d like to have a relationship with a whole woman. He was still pondering the problem thirty-seven minutes later when her eyes fluttered open.

She had pretty eyes. Rich brown. Light behind oak—sturdy, beautiful and filled with life. She blinked twice and a dreamy look came into them.

“Good morning,” he whispered with his most winning smile. “Can I get you anything? Coffee? Tea?”
Me?
“Or would you prefer to sleep a little longer?”

Her eyes widened farther, and her head rose slightly off the pillow. Her gaze slipped past him to his room. Then she looked back at him and something changed. Her mouth opened slightly and her eyes alternately narrowed and widened. It wasn’t hard to guess what was happening. She was struggling to hold on to her dreamy joy, but the pull of reality was too strong. He watched helplessly as panic crept into her expression. One moment she was a sleeping princess. The next, terrified tigress. Crap.

She was going to bolt. He could see it in every line of her body. He had a second, maybe two, before she leaped out of bed and ran out of his life forever.

“Oh, no…” she whispered.

He pounced. It wasn’t so much a plan as an event that his body did while his brain scrambled to catch up. But before either of them realized it, he had flattened her on her back, her wrists were pinned by his hands, and her legs were trapped by his own. And that happy dance
under his skin relocated to his dick…which was really happy to be pressed hot and hard against her belly.

She gasped, and his mouth scrambled to catch up to the rest of him. “Don’t freak, Nicky.”

Her mouth was open, but no sound came out. Panic still tightened her features. So he consciously dropped his voice to its most soothing, most mesmerizing.

“Everything’s okay, Nicky. You’re safe. You’re safe with me.”

She swallowed and some of the horror receded from her eyes. “Are you trying to hypnotize me again?” she asked. Her voice came out weak, but it sounded like an attempt at a joke. That was progress.

He matched it with his own weak attempt at a smile. “I just didn’t want you screaming.”

She swallowed. “Not screaming here.”

No, she wasn’t. But she also wasn’t looking calm or relaxed. In fact, if he had to bet, she was already planning her escape route. “Please don’t run, Nicky. I’d like to talk.”

“No promises. I’m feeling pretty freaked right now,” she said with a shrug. But that brought his groin in intimate contact with hers. And given that they were both naked, she abruptly froze. Unfortunately, he wasn’t so controlled. He pushed harder against her without intending to while pleasure temporarily overrode his brain.

“Jimmy…” she breathed.

Swear to god, he couldn’t tell if that was hunger or a warning. His brain just wasn’t working.

“Jimmy,” she repeated. “You don’t have a condom on. I’m not on the pill. I could get pregnant.”

It was a measure of how far gone he was that the idea of her carrying his child wasn’t the least bit of a deterrent.

“You said I was safe with you, Jimmy. I don’t want to get pregnant right now. Jimmy—”

“I know! I know! I’m getting off.”

Her eyes widened, and he almost laughed despite the situation.

“Not getting off that way. I’m going to get off you. Just don’t run, okay? I know you’re mentally halfway down the block…” He glanced at her guarded expression. “Or across the world from me, but I’d really just like to talk to you. Please don’t run.”

“I won’t,” she said, but they both knew it was a lie, because she flushed. “At least not right away.” She gave him a rueful look. “I’m trying to be honest here. I’m…uh…really freaked right now.”

“I understand.” And he did. He just hoped they could get past the panic. “I’m getting off now.”

He waited a moment, mostly to get his rampaging testosterone under control. He really, really wanted her. And she was right there. But he managed to hog-tie his inner Neanderthal, and rolled off of her. He landed on his back with a groan. Lord, he did
not
like being chivalrous in the morning. But Nicky was too important for him to give in to his baser instincts. And as he lay there, he heard her climb out of bed.

“Nicky—”

“I’m just going to the bathroom. I’m not running. I’m just…the bathroom.” He heard her go in there and quietly shut the door.

She took a long time in there. Plenty of time for him to figure out what to say to her. But he still hadn’t a clue by the time she finally emerged, her face pale and freshly scrubbed, so his only thought was to go for honesty.

“We had fun last night, Nicky. You had fun! Forget
how you think you
ought
to feel. Forget Ms. Uptight Executive Nicky. Just be yourself for a moment, without the burden of what you ought to think and ought to do. We’re two consenting adults and there’s no reason to bolt.”

He saw her struggle with her answer. She had wrapped herself in his bathrobe, which was two sizes too large for her, but it still didn’t hide the clench in her muscles. He’d managed to pull on his sweatpants, and sat on the bed staring at her in a weird echo of yesterday morning.

“Why?” She said the word so softly that he almost didn’t hear it. But he did, and moreover, he knew what she was asking. Why did she enjoy something she clearly thought was one step away from depraved?

“That’s what I wanted to ask you. You liked being tied up, didn’t you?”

She swallowed, then she dipped her chin. Again, the motion was so tiny, he might have missed it, but he was watching very closely.

“You liked being dominated. You liked calling me master.”

Again the slight dip of her chin. Then she abruptly shut her eyes tight. “But I don’t,” she whispered. “I like being strong. I
am
strong.”

“Of course you are. And maybe that’s the answer. Maybe you like
not
being strong every once in a while.”

Her eyes opened again, and for the first time this morning he could see her thinking, really thinking without fear. Then she said something that was completely and totally unexpected.

“I never appreciated you in high school,” she said.
“You were that nice geek. I knew you liked me, but…well, I didn’t realize how rare that is.”

He leaned forward onto his knees. “Rare that someone liked you?”

“Rare that someone is nice. Kind. Considerate. Helpful without pushing. Nice.”

He sighed. Great. He was her lap dog. He knew that wasn’t exactly what she meant. She was trying to give him a compliment, to express regret for how she’d treated him in high school. He understood that, but he wasn’t interested in before. He wanted to know about now. How did she see him now? He wanted to be a man to her, not a Saint Bernard.

“Thank you for the compliment,” he managed to force out. “But…” But what? He didn’t know what to say, so he rubbed his hand over his face. “Look, I can’t think. I haven’t had any coffee, and I need a shower.”

She nodded. “Coffee. Shower. Sounds like heaven.” Then she flashed him a brief smile. “Especially if I get a chocolate chip scone.” She bit her lip. “My treat, Jim. You shower, I’ll grab breakfast. Then we can talk, okay? I promise.”

He nodded, wondering if he dared trust her at her word. He gave it even odds that her fears would take over the minute she left the house. “You want to eat here or at a neutral café?”

It took her a moment to answer, but in the end, she shook her head. “Do you have a pair of sweats I could borrow?”

“Yeah. It’ll be big on you, but—”

“It’ll be fine. Thanks. I’ll get breakfast and then come back here. I swear.”

She meant it. He could see it in the stiff set to her
shoulders. So he grabbed her a set of sweats from his drawers and handed them mutely to her.

She took the clothes, her eyes huge but her expression still determined. God, she looked as if she was about to face a firing squad.

“Nicky—”

“How do you take your coffee?”

“Raspberry latte with whip,” he answered, because what else could he say?

“Half hour. I promise,” she said.

He touched her chin, lifting her face so that she had no choice but to look at him. He didn’t know why he did it. She was already looking at him. But he needed to touch her skin, to stroke her cheek, to do everything he could to brand her with his caress.

A thousand words rushed to his mouth, all fighting to get out. But none of them were right. Nothing seemed to fit. And his body wasn’t listening to his mind anyway. He swooped down and took her in a kiss. He thrust himself into her mouth, he stroked her and owned her as best as he could.

She opened to him on a gasp, but within a moment she was stretching forward, arching her back to deepen their kiss. Heaven.

But then he had to end it. “Half hour, Nicky. Or I’m going to start looking for you. I’m trying to give you space, but part of me just wants to tie you up and keep you with me forever. I’m sorry if that’s too blunt, but it’s the truth.”

She stared at him, and her expression turned rueful. “I know. Thank you for being honest.” Then she turned and ducked back into the bathroom to dress. Five minutes later, she was out the front door.

D
ARK COFFEE SPILLED
out of the latte, splattering on Nicky’s hand and leg. She grimaced at the dark blotch on the sweatpants—Jim’s sweatpants—and tried to steady her arm, her breath, her entire life. But all three refused to cooperate, so she set down the cup on the porch rather than spill it completely.

The front door opened, and there he stood. His hair was wet, his torso gloriously naked and his jeans slung low. “Need a hand?” he asked. Then before she could answer, he came forward on bare feet to grab the latte off the porch then lift the white bag from her other hand.

He was watching her closely, and she could all but read his thoughts off his forehead. He was wondering if she was still going to skip out, find some excuse—like the ton of work she really had to get done—and disappear. Part of her wanted to. Part of her was terrified to examine the reasons behind her bizarre desires last night. But this was Jimmy Ray. He wasn’t judging her. He wasn’t going to hurt her. If she were going to examine the reasons behind her kinky passions with
anyone, she would choose Jimmy Ray. Which meant she had to suppress her fears and walk in his front door. In a minute…

“My mug is in the car,” she said, gesturing behind her. “I’m just going to grab it.” She did, then quickly returned to the front stoop. Then she just stood there on his porch because he was blocking the way. “Uh, can I come in?”

He flushed a mottled red and quickly stepped aside. “Um, yeah. Sorry. I was just thinking I like the way you look in my sweats.”

She grimaced. “My hair’s a mess, your clothes are like two sizes too large and—”

“And I like the way you look in my sweats,” he repeated.

She felt her face heat. “Um, thanks.”

He held open the door for her and gestured her inside. She went in carefully, making sure she didn’t touch him as she passed. But she was excruciatingly aware of his body and his breath. Jeez, even his heat seemed to envelop her, and she both loved and hated the way her skin tingled in response.

He followed a step behind her, closing the door as she moved. “The kitchen’s right through—”

“I remember,” she said. And she did. She remembered walking blindfolded from his television room through what was most likely his kitchen. Sure enough, the kitchen was right where she expected. What she didn’t expect was the cheery yellow paint and the white appliances all drenched in sunlight from the backyard. The room was delightful.

“Nice,” she said, looking all around.

“Yeah. It’s the real reason I bought the house.”

She turned to look at him. “I never would have guessed that.”

“Guys can’t like sunlight?”

“Of course they can. I just thought you would have looked at the neighborhood, evaluated the structure of the house and resale potential, balanced that with the asking price and then…”

“Made a sound investment choice?”

She nodded. “But maybe that’s more me than you.”

He shrugged and took a long pull on his latte. “Well, okay, so maybe I didn’t realize I liked this much sun in the morning until I walked through it one bright 7:00 a.m. But I do, and I did…and this house had a huge garage and the TV room. Plus it is a good neighborhood and a good investment. So…”

“So you bought it.” She nodded. “Good choice. Way better than my tiny condo downtown.”

“Sounds like a good location.”

She settled down at the round breakfast table. “It’s a good investment,” she answered honestly.

“But not a home with a big backyard and a sunlit kitchen,” he said softly.

Her gaze jerked to him in surprise. He had hit it right on the head. As a single woman, she’d felt she needed to be smart about her investments, and what was a condo but an investment? Unfortunately, that had been her primary consideration, so she’d always felt like she was living in a bank account rather than in a house.

She looked away from him to gaze out at the backyard. “I forget that you’re smarter than the average bear.”

He settled down in a chair across from her. “Damned by faint praise.”

“No,” she murmured. “You’re the smartest person I know. It intimidates me. You always have.”

He released a snort of laughter, but immediately sobered at her look. “Sorry,” he said. “It’s just funny, that’s all. Me intimidating you. I was scared to death every time I had to talk to you. Athlete, class president, girl most likely to—”

“Get what she wants, when she wants it, exactly how it must be for maximum yield. Yeah, I remember.” She spoke the words dryly. Her high school epitaph had always haunted her.

“It’s not a bad thing to know what you want,” he said softly.

“What I want, how I want it,” she repeated. “Sound like a self-centered bitch to you?”

He propped his chin on his hand. “Issues with high school much?”

“Says the geek who laughed when I said his intelligence was intimidating.”

He sighed. “Touché.”

She leaned back in her chair and looked directly at him, feeling almost as if she were back in a boardroom. It made her want to tap her pumps on the tile just to show she was in control. It was a lie, of course. She was way out of control, but she allowed herself two taps on the floor. One. Two.

“So to summarize,” she said in her most impressive tone. “Here’s what I’m afraid of. You’re the high school geek who always wanted to do the class president. You see me as the high school queen bee who needed to be taken down a peg. Mission accomplished. You’ve done me. I’m embarrassed.” Her cheeks flushed hot, but she kept doggedly on. “Do you check off this and move on to the rest of your life?”

He leaned back in his chair, folded his arms across his chest and tapped his foot twice. In short, he echoed everything she’d just done, only he added an arch of his eyebrow. Without saying a word, he showed her exactly how
not
intimidated he was.

She flushed hotter and looked away.

“Here’s what I’m afraid of. Something scared you, some time in your life. Maybe some guy, I don’t know. But it was big enough that you suppressed everything that makes you passionate and whole. You’ve spent all your life since climbing the corporate ladder but it’s making you nuts.”

She shivered, knowing everything he said was true though not exactly in the way he thought. “Why does that scare you?” she asked when she could finally find her voice.

“Because I don’t know when your fears are going to overwhelm you and you’ll bolt.” He reached across the table to touch her hand. “I don’t want you to bolt. I had a great time last night, and I thought you did, too.”

She had. She did. And worse, she couldn’t stop herself from wanting to do it again. But the mortification of it all, this terrible morning after…It just wasn’t worth it. Or so she kept telling herself.

“So what happened, Nicky? What happened to the girl you used to be?”

“The girl most likely to run the country in twenty years?”

He nodded. “Yeah. Her.”

She shrugged, wondering if she could explain. “Life happened. Life isn’t high school. I thought it would be so easy, but then I couldn’t get a good job out of college. So I borrowed a ton of money and went to graduate school, which was harder than I ever thought possible. And then
I had to get a job to pay all that debt. I work harder and harder, but the goal keeps slipping further away.”

“And what’s that goal?”

She played with the texture of her disposable cup, rubbing her thumb up and down the smooth paper. Below the table, her left hand was gripping her thigh so tight, she was sure she was giving herself bruises.

“I don’t know. Success. Happiness. The usual.”

He was silent for a long time, just watching her rub the edge of the cup. He took another pull from his latte. So did she. And then, finally, he spoke. “Let’s go on a date. A simple, get-to-know-you-better date.”

She arched a brow at him. “You sure you’re not looking for a sequel of last night?” It was a throwaway question. He was a guy, after all. But he also wanted the normal date stuff. She knew he was sincere in what he said. She just didn’t know how she felt about it.

Surprisingly enough, he didn’t answer with an equally throwaway response. His eyes grew troubled. “I’m still processing last night,” he finally said. “I…uh…I don’t know that I can top it.”

She blinked. “Performance fears?”

He released a short laugh. “You’re a whole lot of woman, Nicky. Any man who isn’t a little bit anxious is just deluding himself.”

She stared at him, seeing the slight flush in his cheeks until he ducked his head down to drink his latte. Then she started to laugh. A real, deep down belly laugh. She had no idea why she thought this was funny, but the more she tried to speak, the more funny it became. Oh god, it felt good to laugh.

It took a moment for her to stop laughing. Long moments when he watched her, his cheeks bright red, but
his eyes slowly lightening with humor. In the end, she finally was able to gasp out an explanation of sorts.

“I guess I’m not the only one still stuck in high school, huh?” She took another breath to steady her nerves. “You sit there bare chested, showing off your sculpted abs. You live in a house four times the size of my condo, have a net worth well beyond anything I could earn in a decade, and just gave me the fantasy night of the millennium. I think you can dispense with the I’m-a-clueless-geek persona. Nobody’s buying it, least of all me.”

He leaned forward, his expression fierce. “So I’m not the only smart one in the room.”

She smiled, but the tension in her belly coiled even higher. He wanted to see her on a different level—a
personal
level—and that scared her. “I gave up on men a long time ago, Jimmy. I…uh…made some bad choices in grad school.”

His eyes darkened. “Were you hurt?”

She shook her head. “Not physically. Emotionally wrecked.” And financially, but she wasn’t ready to confess that. No way was she going to admit that her boyfriend, the man she thought she was going to marry, had taken her for every dime she had. “I’m just afraid to try again.”

“I get that,” he said softly. “I’ve dated a few really bad choices. Nothing seriously, though, because I’ve spent my adult life working nonstop. Or hiding in my garage.” He shrugged. “Girls terrified me in high school and were too time-consuming in adulthood.” He leaned forward. “But you’re worth the effort, Nicky. You’re worth the risk.”

She swallowed, stunned by how his statement slid down her spine right into her soul. He made her feel so
damned special. But she was still afraid. And still crazy busy at work. “I’m just not sure this is a good time,” she hedged.

He touched her hand. A light stroke, but she felt it as if he’d touched her entire body. Which, of course, he had last night. “Mindless sex with you is great, Nicky. It’s beyond great. But I want more from you. Are you woman enough to give it to me?”

“You challenging me?” she asked, her brow arched.

“Will that get you to say yes?” he shot back.

She bit her lip. Could she do it? Could she take the risk on him? It was so hard to do. What if he got to know her and realized she was just a midlevel manager with midlevel intelligence?

“Nicky,” he huffed. “It’s not acquisitions and mergers. It’s just a date.”

She shook her head, the words coming out without thought. “I like Jimmy. I like what I remember of him. He was safe and funny and he liked me. I don’t want to lose him.”

“Jimmy’s still here. But I’m more than just Jimmy. I’m a grown man. Don’t you think you deserve a grown-up?”

And if the grown-up didn’t like the woman? The real woman? The question pounded in her head, the insecurity gripping her like a vise. “The last time I felt successful, felt like I could handle anything, was back in high school. After that…” She winced. “Well, after that I discovered that the real world is way harder than I ever imagined.”

“You’re up to it, Nicky.”

She wasn’t sure. It was ridiculous. She was an accom
plished woman, successful at her job, had the respect of her peers. And yet she was still a mass of insecurities.

He touched her cheek. His thumb caressed a long stroke down her jaw line, then he gripped her chin, drawing her forward. She didn’t go far. He was the one who leaned across the table to stroke his mouth over hers. He teased the seam of her lips, then pushed inside the moment she relaxed.

Bit by bit her insecurities faded to nothing. The play of his tongue brushed them away as well as good portions of her will. In this arena, he was powerful beyond belief, and she willingly surrendered to him.

Within moments, she was arching toward him and wrapping her hand around his head. If he wanted it, she would lie down right there and let him slide right in.

“Nicky,” he rasped as he broke the kiss. “Nicky, just say yes.”

“Yes,” she answered.

He stroked his tongue along her neck, and she purred in response. “Yes to sex? Or yes to a date?”

“Just yes,” she said.

He shifted his hands so that they cupped the back of her head and pulled back to look into her eyes. “Nicky…”

“Is there a condom in your pocket?” she asked.

He nodded.

“Once more,” she said. “One more mindless sex encounter right here, right now. And then tomorrow, we’ll meet like dates. We’ll do the awkward who are you, what have you been doing since high school, stupid date thing. But for right now…” She was already reaching to unzip his jeans.

“Deal,” he said.

It took him a moment. There was awkward fumbling
for them both. But within a minute, she was settled on top of his kitchen table, and he was stepping between her thighs. He slid in slowly, a groan of delight on his lips.

At his urging, she wrapped her legs around him then arched her back, planting her palms behind her for support. That gave him full access to her breasts, which he stroked and manipulated just as she liked.

God, he was big. She liked the way he stretched her all the way to her spine. She liked that he was so thick that she felt every ridge during his slow withdrawal and abrupt thrust. The one thing that she didn’t like was that he looked at her. His eyes held her gaze as he thrust into her. No matter what his hands did, no matter that the table was moving in time to his beat, no matter that he slipped his thumb between them and brought her quickly to a writhing scream. He held her gaze during the whole thing. He held her. He saw her.