Under My Skin (43 page)

The man walks past the last remaining people and he is walking towards the bridge and getting closer all the time.

The sky over us is heavy with snow and it’s getting darker every minute now.

– One big love
– One big love
– One big love.

And then my heart seems to move a little, and then just open up inside – if he had fallen and broken into a million pieces I would have known how to put all those parts together again – one by one – and we have changed, both of us now – and we stand and stare at each other as he puts one foot on the bridge. There is a world of trouble in his eyes as he watches me and there is another world of trouble in mine and I wait as he takes one step closer and then a single snowflake falls between us and it is followed by another and another and then I look deeper into his dark eyes.

There are so many things to talk about. There are too many things I have to say. I don’t know where to begin with it and in my mind I am already mixing up all the words. I look right into his eyes again and when he looks back, I see the beginning of his smile.

And so I just say it – straight out – the same way I always say it.

‘Larry – when are you coming home?’

Patricia Deevy, my editor at Penguin Ireland, has been hugely helpful in the fine-tuning of this book. Sincere thanks also to Michael McLoughlin, Cliona Lewis and Brian Walker for helping to bring it all to life – and, as always, my agent, Faith O’Grady. Suzanne Costello, Deirdre Harrington and Juliet Prendergast read the earliest drafts and gave me much encouragement and advice. I would like to thank my family, Mum, Dad, and my brothers and sisters for their constant interest and support. My friends Melanie and Ardal O’Hanlon and also Nick Kelly did their best to help me with the title. While in New York I stayed with David Bourke and Geraldine Collins, who, apart from showing me the ‘ins and outs’ of this amazing city, were extraordinarily generous in giving me a place to stay and write. Finally, thank you, Steve Schwartz, for your help with the Cape Cod references – and for making me laugh.