Under the Winter Sun (Elemental Enchanters Series Book 3) (23 page)

She shrugged, her thick dark hair fell around her shoulders. “Sometimes. But like I said, the precognition isn’t always right.”

“Do you ever see something and then try to fix it?”

“Sometimes, but it never works. I try not to mess with it because I think things happen for a reason. Even all the crappy things.”

Ava had a hard time believing that. That would mean her breakup with Peter happened for a reason. Her mother sold her soul to Havok for a reason. Havok orchestrated genocide on thousands of Ephemerals. But Ava couldn’t come up with a single good purpose for any of those things.

“Hey,” Thomas said, taking a seat next to Moira. “What are you two chatting about?”

“Just stuff.” An embarrassed smile flickered across her face.

“Oh yeah?”

Ava didn’t want to witness their flirting or see Peter and Katarina snuggling any more. She got to her feet. “I’ll see you two in the morning. Sleep well,” she said, retreating to her cabin. She wanted to talk to Gabriel, but didn’t want to disturb him. The weirdest feeling overcame her, once she sank onto her bed. She missed him and hoped she hadn’t ruined their friendship. She didn’t want to go to sleep knowing he was upset with her. Relenting, she lay down and pulled her knees up to her chest.

Like the night before, sleep evaded her. She felt so heavy. So cold. Like her heart was wrapped in ice. Seeing Peter daily wasn’t helping her move on. And why did he suddenly want to talk to her? What more could he possibly have to say? She couldn’t believe how hurt she still felt or why she wasted so much time thinking about him and wishing things had been different.

After tossing and turning for a while, Ava crept out of the cabin, careful not to let the door slam. She sat by the dying embers from the fire. It was so dark and cold, but she made herself warm. Blindly searching for a stick, she found one and began poking the embers. With each jab, they glowed a brighter orange. The stick caught heat and lit. She brought it close to her face and blew on it, watching it grow.

“Do you ever sleep?” Gabriel asked from behind her. Her heart rate picked up at the sound of his voice.

She twisted to face him. “Sorry, did I wake you?” 

“No,” Gabriel said. “And yes.”

“Okay?”

He sat next to her. “Not directly. I was thinking about you.”

“What about me?”

“I know you’re still struggling.”

She bit her lip. “I don’t want to. I thought I was doing well for a little while. I want to be over him. It doesn’t help that I see him constantly.” She poked the fire harder.

Gabriel took her empty hand in his and squeezed it. She dropped the stick in the fire.

“Did I make you mad earlier today?”

He hesitated. “Sometimes your pessimism is a bit much. But I know it’s just the hurt and anger talking.” He stared at their hands.

She felt bad. “I’m sorry. I really didn’t mean to upset you. I can get pretty bitter when I’m wounded. I’ll work on that.”

He gave a soft laugh. “You don’t have to change on my account.”

She smiled. Gabriel was unbelievably patient with her. She was glad to have him since Melissa wasn’t there. “It’s funny how things change,” Ava said after a few minutes.

“What’s that?”

“I guess I always felt closer to Gillian growing up. She was always nice and so proper. I never liked how Melissa just spelled it out for you. But I miss that. I miss her brutal honesty. Plus, she was always there when I needed her. She always trusted me. Talking to Gillian about all this doesn’t help.”

“What about Lance?”

“I talk to him and he’s been a saint, but I don’t want to keep bothering him with it. Guys don’t wanna hear that stuff.”

“You’ve been talking to me.” He pointed out.

“Because you’re comforting. And you don’t judge. I’m sure everyone’s tired of the Peter/Ava saga by now. I’m trying hard to move on.”

“What do you think Melissa would say to you if she were here now?”

“Knowing her, she’d probably tell me to stop all this nonsense and get over it. But then she’d hug me. I should be over this by now. I’m being ridiculous aren’t I?”

“No. Give yourself a break. It’s only been a few weeks. You’re suffering heartache from someone you did very brave things for and loved. It seemed like he wanted a part of all this for the wrong reasons.”

Ava shook her head. “No. He loved me. I know it.”

“I’m not saying he didn’t.”

“I still do.”

Ava and Gabriel snapped their heads around and found a forlorn Peter. His eyes sagged like his collar length brown hair. She and Gabriel got to their feet.

He released Ava’s hand. “I’ll leave you two alone.” He walked away before Ava could stop him. She didn’t want him to leave.

“Ava, I never meant to hurt you,” Peter said. “I can’t explain it. I still love you, but there’s something about Katarina. I don’t know what happened. I’ll never forgive myself and I don’t expect you to either.”

Her eyes blurred, and she couldn’t stop the rogue wave of emotions. “I can’t pretend it doesn’t hurt, or that I’m not incredibly angry. After all I did for you.”

“I know. I treated you wrong. I’m sorry,” he said, moving toward her.

She stepped back and shook her head. “It’s too late. This is ridiculous. I need to find Melissa and Jeremy. Not sit here crying over you.”

His face fell and his eyes showed hurt. She didn’t want to feel sorry for him, but she did. Part of her wanted to apologize to him for whatever she did, but the other part wanted to be angry.

“You’re right. I’m sorry I’ve put you through this. It wasn’t easy for me. I wanted to be there for you so much, but you shut me out. It was like I didn’t know you anymore. It got hard.”

“Relationships are hard, Peter. Besides, you didn’t seem to care enough to work through it.” She crossed her arms in front of her chest.

“How can you say that?”

“Because it’s true.”

“Katarina understood me and what I was going through. You just locked yourself up.”

Tears pricked her eyes as her lids seemed to weigh a hundred pounds. “I buried my feelings for you.” Her stomach wrenched itself in knots, and she felt the bile churning. Her heart pounded. She hated that he made her feel this way. “I felt your guilt, and I didn’t want to be responsible for you feeling that. I never shut you out, Peter. I was holding onto you with everything I had, but you stopped letting me in. You broke my heart. I gave it all to you and you took advantage of it.”

“I’m so sorry, Ava.”

“It hurts so much to see you with her. So much that right now, I can’t be happy for you. I don’t know how long it will take to forgive you. I mean, how do you immediately go from telling one person you love them with all your heart and always will and then jump into another relationship and tell her the same thing?” She hated that her voice shook. “I don’t want to think about you. I don’t want to cry over you anymore. I hope it was worth it.”

When he didn’t respond, she turned around, but Peter grasped Ava’s hand. She studied his face. His brown eyes begged her. She relaxed a little and decided that maybe once he said whatever was on his chest she wouldn’t have to talk to him about it anymore.

“Ava, I’m very sorry for what I did to you. It wasn’t my intention. I wish I had a better answer. But maybe there was a reason for us to fall in love and to be in the same circle.” He raised his hand and touched her face, but she batted it away. He sighed. “I still care about you and I’ll protect you. Please know that I never wanted to hurt you. I love you.”

“Don’t say that to me. I’ll be cordial to you from now on, but only because it’s for the best for this mission. Don’t think we’re friends.” Ava turned away and trudged back to the cabin. She hated the drama and the heartache. Unfortunately, she still loved him but it was pointless.

Ava cried as quietly as she could into her pillow that night. She thought about Moira telling her she wouldn’t be pining forever for Peter. She wiped her tears and took a deep breath, hoping it would come sooner than later.

The light from the early morning shone through the small window. She shivered from the cold, another reminder that she was alone. Warming her body, she rolled over on her other side. Her eyes burned and were dry from the tears of the night before. Her head ached, and her body was tired. She was a bit congested, but it began to clear as she sat up. Ava was the last one awake.

Pushing aside the blankets, she stood and gasped as she peered out into a sea of white. Her mouth still open, she opened the cabin door.

The ground, the trees, everything was covered in white. Flakes poured to the ground. Every time she saw snow, excitement immediately pumped through her veins. It usually meant no school and snowball fights. But today it was dread that filled her.

Ava walked out into the thick powder and peered across the small field. The campfire was completely covered. Trees leaned toward the ground from the heavy snow.

Aidan, Ronan, and Moira were throwing snow at each other. Link and Nicole seemed to be in their own private bubble watching the snow fall. Lance chuckled as Thomas tried picking up the snow but it melted each time. Lance pelted Gillian in the face with a snowball. She chastised him, saying her hair was already frizzy enough. Ava smiled but it faded once she saw Katarina giggling as Peter chased her. She looked away and saw everyone else sitting at the covered picnic table. 

Ava took a step, but snow struck her on the side of her face. The cold slush slid down her neck, and she looked in the direction of the attacker. Gabriel stood with his arms crossed, biting his lip to keep from laughing.

“You think that’s funny?” she asked.

Gabriel couldn’t hold it any longer and burst into laughter, which only angered her. How could they think of playing when there were missing people?

She stormed toward him. “How can you laugh—.”

“No.” He cut her off and grabbed her shoulders at arm’s length. His blue eyes staring into hers. “I’m not going to let you be in a bad mood today. Ava, you have got to stop being so edgy and serious all the time. Let yourself have fun. What did I tell you before?”

Guilt jabbed at her. She remembered Gabriel’s advice, what seemed like forever ago, about enjoying the moment. Enjoy the little things while she could.

Ava sighed and relaxed.

“Don’t feel guilty. You have to admit that was pretty funny. You should’ve seen your face.” He chuckled. He was like a little kid and she found it adorable.

She rolled her eyes. “Whatever.”

“Did you get any sleep?”

“Sure. You?” She watched Peter and Katarina still playing in the snow.

“Not really. You know, you’re not going to feel better or get over him if you’re always watching him be happy.”

Ava dropped her head and trained her eyes on the snow.

“Ah, don’t be embarrassed.”

“Is it going to snow all day?”

“I don’t know. I like the snow though. It’s beautiful,” he said with such implication. Ava turned to him, his eyes brimmed with a look she couldn’t quite place. Sadness? Hope? She couldn’t tell, but it was the same look that made her tingle. Heat rose to her cheeks, and she dropped her gaze. She never understood her reaction to him, but she wondered what was in his eyes. He always seemed to hide something. “Let’s go have some breakfast.” He started walking toward the table.

Ava bent over and grabbed a handful of snow. She packed it together and threw it at the back of his head.

Gabriel halted and turned around. “Oh, it’s so on.”

Ava giggled and ran from him. They threw snowballs at each other, until their hair was soaked. In that moment, she didn’t think about missing her friends or Peter or defeating Havok. 

Gabriel launched a snowball but she ducked behind a tree. She scurried out, throwing one back at him, but tripped and fell into the snow.

He sauntered over to her with snow in his hand, grinning. She gripped snow, waiting. She couldn’t help but notice how sexy his confident gait was.

“Why would you do this?” Ava heard Gillian scream.

Ava and Gabriel turned their heads in her direction, and she saw Gillian stomp toward her.

“No, please don’t, Gillian,” Moira said.

Lance, Thomas, and the twins followed closely behind.

“I can’t believe you,” Gillian spat. 

“What are you talking about?” Ava asked as Gabriel helped her to her feet.

“How could you do this?” Gillian asked. “I can’t believe you.”

Moira shook her head, her eyes wide, darting from Gillian to Ava. “I’m so sorry. It’s not true. Please, Gillian.” She tugged on her arm, but Gillian stopped her.

“You had a vision, didn’t you?” Gabriel asked Moira.

She ran her hands through her thick hair which was getting wetter in the snow. Her small face was troubled. She bit her lip. “It’s just a vision. It doesn’t mean anything. It’s not true.” A muscle in her jaw twitched.

“You might as well tell her,” Ronan said.

Moira exhaled. “I’m sorry, Ava. I’m so sorry.”

“What is it?”