Authors: Jettie Woodruff
Fuck…
“But what if this baby turns out to be Dawson’s?
It’s a very good possibility.”
“Cross that bridge when it gets here. I’m going to
miss you,” Star said, like she knew that I was going to
leave. I couldn’t speak. I didn’t know what to say. “You
need to talk to Dawson, Ry.”
“I know,” I admitted. I just hated the thought of it.
“I don’t want to hurt him, Star.”
“You’re hurting him more by sneaking around with
your husband.”
“Maybe, if he knew, that is.”
“He knows, Ry.”
“What do you mean?”
“He talks to me. I shouldn’t say that he knows. He
speculates.”
“You think he knows that I have been with Drew?”
Star nodded. I wanted to get back on the plane and
get the hell out of dodge. I didn’t want to face him. Shit.
He knew. What the hell was I supposed to say to him?
I hung around with Star until almost two. I knew
that Dawson took his lunch from two to three and I had
planned on meeting him and maybe going to Millie’s for
lunch. I felt my nerves stand on end with every tick from
the Indian wall clock above my head.
Star hugged me and told me to call her. I thanked
her for being my friend and not judging me the way that my
so called best friend, Lauren, had.
I pulled over to the curb when I saw Dawson
walking down the sidewalk. I smiled a sad smile at the
sight of him. I really didn’t want to hurt him any more than
I had. I couldn’t believe that he knew that I wasn’t at my
mom’s. He never mentioned it when I had talked to him the
day before. I lost my smile pretty quick.
What the fuck?
I watched Lauren run up behind him and jump on
his back. He carried her for a few steps before she slid
off. They were laughing and flirting. Was this why Lauren
was so interested in my plans with Dawson? I watched
Dawson hold the door open at Millie’s for her. I couldn’t
help but notice the look between the two as she passed.
I sat dumbfounded for a few minutes, trying to
process what if anything was going on. Dawson didn’t
have lunch with Lauren. They never hung out. How did I
feel about it? That was when I knew exactly who I
belonged with. I thought about how it made me feel to
think of Dawson with someone else. I smiled and shook
my head. I was okay with it. I thought about Drew being
with someone else and how I wanted to scratch Celeste’s
eyeballs out when I thought they were being intimate. I
couldn’t handle the thought of Drew being with someone,
but I was okay with Dawson being with my best friend.
I wondered about Joel, although I knew that Lauren
had said she would never be serious with him. I really
didn’t know that Lauren had feelings for Dawson. I guess I
should have. She was very insistent on me not hurting him.
What should I do? Should I walk in? Should I wait
until later? What did Lauren tell him about our fight? I
wasn’t sure what I should do. I didn’t want to embarrass
either one of them. I decided to wait until later in the
evening. I wanted to talk to Lauren first. I could very well
just be an innocent lunch, and I was reading more into it
than I should have been.
I patiently waited for Lauren to get home, staring
out the window. She pulled into her drive five hours later.
I knew she wouldn’t come over like she normally did. She
was pissed at me.
I took a deep breath and slid my arms through my
coat. I didn’t even know what I was going to say. Was
Lauren really seeing Dawson behind my back?
Lauren opened the door before I had a chance to
knock.
“Can we talk?” I asked.
She stepped aside and gestured for me to come in.
“I just made coffee, want some?”
“Sure,” I said, sitting at the table. “Lauren, I’m
sorry,” I blurted out even though I didn’t know what I was
apologizing to her for.
“Me too, Ry. I just don’t want you to hurt Dawson.
He is so in love with you.”
Hmm. How do I respond to that? She wasn’t going
to mention having lunch with him. Should I? I decided to
let it slide and pretend that I didn’t know.
“Why don’t you and Joel come over tonight?” I
asked. I didn’t want her to come over with Joel. I wanted
to spend the evening alone, talking to Dawson. I was just
fishing for information.
“Joel and I broke up almost a month ago,” she
stated.
“What happened? Why didn’t you tell me?” I
asked, playing the concerned friend.
“I came over to talk to you last night. We didn’t
really talk.”
“Why did you break up?”
She shrugged her shoulders. “I don’t know. I guess
I have decided lately that I wasn’t getting any younger.
Joel’s not really the settling down type. I want to be in
love and start a family.”
“Got anyone in mind?”
She thought briefly before answering. “No, not
really.”
She wasn’t going to tell me that she had lunch with
Dawson, and she wasn’t going to tell me who she had in
mind, but I could tell there was someone, and I had a good
feeling that it was Dawson.
I answered my phone when I saw that it was
Dawson.
“Where are you? I brought supper.”
“How did you know that I was home?” I asked. I
knew Lauren had told him. I just wanted to see what his
answer was.
“ESP, baby. Get over here. I’m hungry, and I miss
you.”
I smiled. He wasn’t telling me either. “I’m
coming.”
I stood up and took Lauren’s hand. “Come, let’s go
eat.”
“No. I think I am just going to hang out here. You
go ahead,” she said pulling her hand from mine.
“I thought you said you weren’t mad at me.”
“I’m not. I’m just not hungry. I had a big lunch.”
“Please,” I begged.
She groaned and got up. We walked across the
yard, arm in arm. I knew I was being sly, but I couldn’t
help it. I had to know.
Dawson was setting plates out on the table and
getting spoons for the carton of mashed potatoes and corn.
I went to the kitchen and got Lauren a plate and the butter
for the biscuits. I watched the two of them exchange a
glance. It was not my imagination. I know what I saw, and
I know that Lauren quickly redirected her eyes.
I placed the utensils on the table and decided to try
something else. I wrapped my arms around Dawson’s neck
and kissed him.
“Hi,” I said as his hands moved around by ever
growing body.
“Hi,” he said, and I kissed him again.
“I think I will just leave you two alone,” Lauren
tried.
“No. I’m done. I promise,” I said, playing it off.
“Sit.”
We ate the chicken, and I purposely touched
Dawson every chance I got, just to observe Lauren’s
reaction. It was obvious. She didn’t want me touching him.
There
was
something going on. I knew it.
Lauren helped clean up the trash. I could tell that
she wanted out of there. I kissed Dawson again in the
kitchen, and that was it. She was gone.
“I’ll see you guys later,” she stated, not looking
back.
“What’s her problem?” I asked Dawson.
He shrugged one shoulder. “She’s your friend,” he
accused, like I should know better than him.
“Did you miss me?” I asked, moving into his arms.
I don’t know what the hell I was doing. I guess I felt a
little rejected or some shit. I had planned on telling him
that I didn’t want to be with him and that I was going home
to my husband. I didn’t feel that way anymore. I wanted
Dawson, especially after realizing that Lauren wanted him
too.
“Of course I missed you,” he assured me, pulling
me into his arms. “How’s your family?”
Was he now fishing for information? “Good, I’m
going back down in a couple of weeks. Caroline is in a
school play and I promised her I would come and watch.”
I’m pretty sure he bought it. He kissed me, parting
my lips with his tongue. I kissed him back and ran my
hands along his ribs and to his strong back. I wanted him. I
wanted him right that second. What the hell was wrong
with me? I needed professional help or something.
Dawson tried to lift my shirt over my head. I
stopped him. I hadn’t forgotten about the nice little
surprise that Drew had left for me.
“I need a shower,” I whispered to his lips.
He placed his forehead on mine and took a deep
breath. “Then you better get away from me and go,” he
assured me.
I kissed him again and left him.
I prayed that he didn’t come into the bathroom. I
think I showered quicker than I ever had in my life. I even
dressed in record time.
Dawson was in my room emptying his pockets
when I came out. He took clothes from his dedicated
drawers and kissed me as he headed to the shower next.
Damnit he was staying. We were going to have
sex. This was not the plan…at all.
I slipped on a pair of socks and eyed his
cellphone, trying to tell myself not to do it. I had never
looked through his phone. I never had a reason to. I
jumped up and practically ran to it. I opened it up and
went right to the messages. Fifty seven of them were to
and from Lauren. I scanned them quickly, listening for the
shower to shut off.
Most of them were just quick little text. Like, good
morning, good night, how is your day going? And then I
read where they were meeting. He knew that I was home
the night before. Lauren had text him and told him not to
come over because I was home.
Why was I so pissed about Dawson and Lauren? It
wasn’t like I hadn’t just lied to him and spent the last few
days with Drew. I was furious. I was reading one from
Lauren, telling Dawson that she missed his lips and
couldn’t wait until she could kiss him. I didn’t hear the
water shut off, and I didn’t hear Dawson walk in.
I don’t know how I knew that he was standing
there. I guess I just sensed his presence. I turned to see his
tight lipped face staring right at me, going through his
phone.
“Dawson?” I said. I needed to know. Screw the
private investigator crap. I wanted to know, and he was
going to tell me.
“I’ve wanted to tell you, Riley.”
“Tell me what?”
He didn’t speak. I could feel my heart beating. I
could feel the blood pumping through my veins. I was
ticked. I wanted to pick his gun up and shoot him in the
head. I was literally seeing little light prisms. I was so
freaking mad. I couldn’t see straight. Why, I wasn’t sure. I
really had no right, but God damnit, this hit me like a ton
of bricks. I wasn’t expecting this. I could have never seen
this coming, not in a million years.
“How long has this been going on, Dawson?” I
asked. I was trying my best to keep my cool. Never mind
the fact that I was planning on dumping him that very night.
“Riley, come here,” he tried. Fuck that. He wasn’t
touching me, ever.
“Just fucking tell me, Dawson,” I demanded, still
trying not to yell.
“Come out here and sit down. I will put on some
tea, and we will talk.”
I stormed past him shoving his phone in his chest. I
didn’t want to sit. I couldn’t sit. I walked out to the cold
November chill in my sock feet. I needed air. I needed the
brisk cold sea air. I felt like I was suffocating, and I didn’t
know why.
Dawson left me alone while he heated water. It
was probably best that he did. When I finally cooled off, I
walked back in and sat at the table. I shivered, freezing
from the cold air.
“Do you love her?” I asked, looking down at the
table. I didn’t want to see his face when I got my answer.
“I don’t know, Ry. Lauren has been there for me
through all of this. We spent hours together when you were
missing.”
“How sweet,” I smartly, replied.
“Not like that. We spent hours looking for you.
You were gone almost five months before anything ever
happened. We were only intimate twice before I found
you.”
“Why didn’t you just leave me lost?”
“Because I love you. I still love you.”
“Do you want Lauren?”
“I don’t know how to answer that right now. I