Underworld (6 page)

‘You can draw?'

Liam shrugged. ‘Just stupid stuff. I just do it for a carry on.'

Axel sneered. ‘Sure you don't want to be teacher's pet?' He laughed, never a pleasant sound coming from Axel, and then he fell behind the rest of the group.

Liam took the chance to speed up a little, make some distance between them and catch up with Zesh. Zesh was drawing in lungfuls of air too, but with him it looked painful.

‘You OK, Zesh?'

He caught Zesh by surprise. He jumped as if he'd just been discovered with his hand in the poor box. ‘Fine.' He rasped the word out.

‘He's just not fit, wheezing there like an old dosser.' Fiona passed them, still chewing her gum. ‘I mean, look at me, fit as a fiddle, told you fags were good for you.'

Zesh managed a smile. Fiona had given him an excuse. ‘She's right,' he said. ‘Just not fit. Have to get used to these ten-mile hikes again.' Then he moved on, away from Liam, away from them all.

First chance he gets he'll be off somewhere quiet to
use that inhaler, I bet, Liam thought. He couldn't stand Zesh. Why couldn't he admit he had asthma? Was it just because he might not get picked for a team, or wouldn't have qualified for this wonderful wildlife holiday? Or was it, as Liam suspected, because having asthma was a weakness, and people like Zesh didn't like anyone to know they had a weakness?

Well,
he
knew now, didn't he?

There was a sudden shriek from Fiona. ‘Hey, did you say a ten-mile hike?' She stumbled up to the teacher. ‘Better not be, sir. That's going down in my notebook as well. Against my human rights.'

Mr Marks ignored her. ‘Look! Did you see that? It was a chaffinch.'

Axel let out a moan. ‘Birdman of Alcatraz, eat your heart out.'

And to his surprise even Zesh laughed.

It was teatime before they got back to the hostel. Angie had loved every minute of the day. She flopped on to her bed and it creaked in agony. ‘That was so exhilarating, wasn't it?'

Fiona's feet were killing her and she had blisters. All she wanted to do was stick them in a basin of hot water.
‘You know you're deceiving, Angie. You'd think somebody of your size would never be able to walk, and yet here you are bright as a zonking button, driving everybody potty the whole way back with that zonking song you were singing – what was it again?'

Angie beamed, her red cheeks even redder with the exhilaration. ‘It's a Girl Guide song.'

Fiona hid her face in her hands and muttered, ‘A Girl Guide song. Gimme a break.'

Angie suddenly burst into it again. ‘No!' Fiona lifted a pillow and threw it at her. ‘Don't sing it again. I couldn't bear it.'

Angie caught the pillow, laughing. She's really enjoying this, Fiona was thinking. Maybe it is something to do with being a zonking Girl Guide. You have to get your brain removed before they let you in.

‘You're fitter than that Zesh anyway. He could hardly keep up.'

That had been great to watch, actually. Smart Alec Zesh taking up the rear of the group. It must have been the first time he'd come last in anything.

‘Do you think Zesh is good-looking?' Angie asked suddenly, not quite meeting her gaze.

‘How? You don't fancy him, do you?'

Angie blushed. So, she did fancy him.

‘He stuck up for me. He ended up in a fight with Axel.'

Now, that really surprised Fiona. ‘Hey, he fought over you? Maybe it's him that fancies you, Angie.'

That would be something. What a pair they would make.

‘Which one do you fancy, Fiona?'

‘Is this supposed to be girl talk, Angie? Is this what went on in the Chalet School? Well, forget it. I think they're all a bunch of nerds. All I fancy is a fag. Pass me my rucksack.'

Angie looked troubled. ‘You're not supposed to smoke in here, Fiona.'

‘You gonny tell on me?'

Angie shook her head. Of course she wouldn't tell. They didn't do things like that in the Chalet School.

‘Look, I'll stick my head out of the window if it'll make you happy. No nasty smoke in the room, eh?'

Angie managed a Girl Guide kind of smile. ‘I wish you wouldn't smoke, Fiona. It's so bad for your health.'

‘Angie hen, sometimes you sound like my mother.' Fiona thought about that for a second. ‘No, take that
back. My mother shares her fags with me. You're worse than a mother, Angie.'

Angie only looked pleased at that. She didn't seem to realise it was meant as an insult. She began to tidy up the room, lifting the clothes that Fiona had flung around and folding them neatly on a chair. Fiona couldn't get her head out of that window quick enough. This girl wasn't real. She'd read too many books. She thought she was living in one of them. She thought life was a book.

Maybe it was. But certainly not a Chalet School book.

More like a horror story.

Zesh had recovered by the evening meal. He'd been stupid to forget his inhaler in the first place. But once back in the room, he'd sneaked it out of his drawer and it had worked its usual magic. No one had suspected. Axel was too stupid to realise what was wrong with him, and Liam not interested enough. Angie (was she for real with that singing?) was totally oblivious to everything but her surroundings.

Only Fiona seemed suspicious – but she'd put it down to his lack of fitness – and that suited Zesh. Let
them think what they liked. For now, he felt great, and it would never happen again. He'd never again forget that inhaler.

‘This food is crap!' Axel spat out a mouthful back on to his plate.

Zesh was disgusted. ‘Do you do that in your own house …?' He paused. ‘Yes, I imagine you do.'

The cook had heard him too. She strode across to them. Her name was Mrs Soames, and she had a face like a horse with constipation. ‘I've never had any complaints before,' she snapped. She was waving a ladle about threateningly.

‘They probably didn't survive long enough to complain,' Fiona butted in. Mrs Soames turned on her too.

‘I can tell you're only used to the best caviare. Chips and peas more like.'

Fiona laughed. ‘Aye, but cordon blue chips and peas.' Even Zesh had to smile at that and Mrs Soames saw that too.

‘You got a complaint as well? I thought it would be only curries you're used to.'

Zesh's smile disappeared. The woman was nasty. He decided he didn't like her and he was sure she could tell that in his face.

Liam suddenly grabbed at his throat, started to gag. ‘Help me, I've been poisoned … aaaagh …' and he fell over.

Their whole table erupted in laughter. Mrs Soames wasn't laughing. She lifted Liam by the collar and swung him about. ‘Think you're funny, son. A good feed would kill you. You look anorexic.' Liam was trying to struggle free of her but she wouldn't let him go. ‘Oh, look at the skinny wee rabbit. He wouldn't even make a good plate of soup.'

Now everyone was laughing, but they were laughing at Liam, and Zesh could see that Liam didn't like it. His face was bright red. Zesh couldn't blame him for being angry. Mrs Soames couldn't make a fool of Axel. He was big and strong and looked likely to thump her without a moment's hesitation. But Liam? He was easy meat for her to humiliate.

Suddenly, Mr Marks was in the canteen, striding towards their table, his face like thunder. ‘Mrs Soames. Put that boy down!'

She immediately obliged and dropped Liam, who fell like a plucked chicken to the ground.

Mrs Soames was not the least apologetic. ‘You tell them to mind their manners, or they might find something
in their meals they're not expecting.' And she slouched back into her kitchen.

‘Are you sure she should be working with children?' Fiona asked. ‘If you ask me she's escaped from a horror movie.'

‘Mrs Soames has been here for years. She's a bit eccentric, that's all.'

‘Eccentric? She's a loony!' Fiona snorted.

‘I think the food's quite nice,' Angie said, munching.

After the evening meal, Mr Marks and the other teachers who were in charge began calling them all to attention. ‘Right, we're going to have a get to know each other game.'

The words had hardly dropped from his lips before Angie was jumping up and down and clapping her hands eagerly. ‘Oh, great fun!'

Fiona looked at her as if she was mad.

‘You're all going to hang a card around your neck, like this one.' Mr Marks held up a specially prepared white card, with string looped through holes at each side. ‘Each of you will be given a pencil and you go around the room and write something about that person on the card.' There was a ripple of sniggers. ‘No.
No one is allowed to put anything rude, or detrimental, or negative about anyone. You could say someone has a nice smile, or lovely hair.'

Zesh's glance fell on Axel. What could anyone possibly say that was positive about him? That would be a hard one. Zesh decided he'd just avoid him.

Mr Marks went on, ‘No one will know what's written on their back until the end of the evening.'

‘I'm not playin' any stupid game!' Axel said.

Mr Marks practically ignored him. ‘Game still applies. People can write on your card anyway.'

There were a lot of giggles and laughing as people jostled to collect their cards, slipped them around their necks and began walking around the room looking for who they would pick on first.

It was funny to watch. One really long and lanky boy from the other school was walking about with, ‘He's tall, that's about it.'

Someone had written on Fiona's, ‘She's a wonderful friend.' It was Angie's handwriting.

And someone else had written, ‘She's dead funny.'

Liam's said, ‘He can draw.'

Zesh had never known that until today. Why did he hide it?

Mr Marks suddenly rushed up to Angie and began rubbing something out on her card. He glared at a girl from the other school who had smirked as she'd written it.

‘Was it something rude, sir?' Angie asked naively.

Zesh had seen exactly what it said: ‘She couldn't be much fatter, could she?'

But Mr Marks covered it up beautifully. ‘They can't spell “pretty”, Angie,' he said.

The girl from the other school sniggered. ‘Aye, pretty fat.'

And Fiona stepped forward. ‘Aye, but she's got a pretty face … fat people usually do, and anyway, you're pretty ugly.'

The girl pushed her aside. ‘Who are you, the organ grinder's monkey? You're ugly enough.'

Fiona grabbed her by the throat and almost lifted her off her feet. ‘You want me to trail you, hen?'

Mr Marks roared with anger. ‘That's enough! Fiona, I thought it would be the boys who would be fighting, not you.'

‘Oh but Mr Marks, she was sticking up for me.'

Fiona almost went white. ‘No, I wasn't. I was sticking up for me! She called me a monkey!' But Angie
wouldn't listen. Nothing would stop her from thinking that once again Fiona had taken her side.

At the end of the evening when they read their cards, Zesh's said, ‘He sticks up for people.' That was the one he liked best. Had Angie written that? Or had she written, ‘He's dead good-looking'? However, he had a feeling it was Fiona who had written, ‘He looks too clean for my liking.' Wow! Some compliment.

Angie was over the moon with hers. She hugged it against herself. ‘I'll keep this for ever.' ‘She's always so positive,' it read. ‘That's me,' she said. ‘Always positive.'

And Axel? Zesh watched him as he pulled his card off and threw it across the floor angrily. There was nothing written on it. People were probably too frightened to write anything, or were they, like Zesh, unable to find anything good to say about Axel O'Rourke.

Liam waited nearly three days to get his own back on Mrs Soames. It took him that amount of time to come up with his plan. It was a beauty. Just the right thing to make that horrible woman regret what she'd done to him.

He was up early that morning. He had to be. Sneaking out of bed and into the fields. His work done, he climbed back into bed, sure that no one had missed him. So he jumped out of his skin when Axel turned and spoke to him. ‘Where were you?'

‘Toilet,' he said, and hoped his voice wasn't shaking.

Axel didn't question that. ‘I hate this place.' He stared out of the window. ‘Food's rubbish, and this is the first day it hasn't rained.' He listened for a moment to the birds singing in the woods. ‘And if that dawn chorus doesn't shut up I'm going out there and shooting them.'

Liam was almost tempted to tell him then what he'd done, so they could laugh about it. He decided against it. Liam kept things to himself and that was the best way, he had found. He liked secrets.

‘We're halfway through the week, maybe it'll get better.'

‘Well, at least it can't get any worse.'

Mrs Soames didn't come in until midmorning. The first thing she always did was to turn on the ovens to heat them for the lunch. Liam had been watching her. He knew her routine. Today every group would be in for lunch, after a morning's woodland walk. No one was going to miss his revenge.

As they neared the hostel, they could hear Mrs Soames screaming at the top of her voice. The smell was horrendous. A smell so disgusting, especially coming from the kitchens, that some people were actually being sick outside.

‘What on earth is that!' Mr Marks ran on ahead.

‘It smells as if somebody's got diarrhoea and didn't make the lavvy,' Fiona shouted, covering her nose with her sweater. ‘I knew her food was bad, but never that bad, surely.'

They all ran, following the teacher, and if anyone
noticed that Liam only strode behind them no one remarked on it.

As soon as they went into the canteen, Mrs Soames caught sight of them and she ran at them. ‘You! I know it was you!' She lunged at Axel. ‘You did it!'