Undraland (7 page)

I screamed, but it made no difference. He spun me around and pressed my back to his chest, jerking my head to the side as tears I’d been fighting off finally surfaced. “No! Please don’t!” I whimpered through my fruitless struggle.

“Shh,” he whispered in my ear. “I won’t hurt you.”

The last thing I felt was his mouth on the space between my neck and my shoulder, and that same sharp pinch when he bit me. A sensation that was both cold and warm flooded through me before I lost consciousness. It was the same gelatinous paralysis I experienced in the amusement park, but in warp speed.

Then I felt nothing, and it was bliss.

Eight.

Undraland 101

I awoke in a different bed and a new house that was far grander than Jens’s hut. Cream-colored curtains framed the windows and painted the walls, giving the whole room a heavenly glow.

My body was weak, though that could have been from passing out or not eating or the whole being kidnapped thing. The sun coming in through the window was still far too bright, but I looked sideways out the glass anyway through my fingers, trying to put this new world into an order I could accept. When my eyes finally began to adjust to the slice I could sort of see, I found that I was on the third floor of a home, and there would be no popping out the window and jumping down to safety.

I touched the space between my neck and my shoulder, wondering if I’d ever feel safe again. A bandage covered the spot where Jens bit me, so naturally I peeled it back to get a look at the wound. Two puncture marks stared at me like snake eyes, and I covered it back up with a shiver. I was still wearing the stupid dress and no shoes, which did not bode well for any sort of escape plan. From the third floor. Of who knows where.

A gentle knock shook my heart in my chest. “Who is it?” I demanded.

“It’s Sir Jamie, Miss Lucy. May I come in?”

Such a pretentious title for someone I did not peg as arrogant. Though, he’s helping drug me and hold me hostage, so what did I know?

I opened the door, taking notice of the four locks that hitched on the inside and the rabid-looking scratches all up and down the door. I backed against the furthest wall when he entered. A little shorter than Jens, but still a respectable six feet and handful of inches, Jamie’s proper stance and genteel brown eyes took in my distrust with sorrow. He opened his mouth to begin a sentence several times before the correct words actually came out. “Are you well, Miss Lucy?”

I blinked at him, wondering if he wanted an answer to such a stupid question. “Um, no. Where am I?”

“You’re in my home.”

I slumped down against the wall in the corner, not caring that I was making a mess of my dress. “I suppose you’re going to tell me something like I’m being held here for my own safety or something.” I hugged myself to keep my body away from him.

The pity in Jamie’s voice kept my mind from going to the bad place. “Miss Lucy. I mean you no harm. Don’t worry. I can take you to Jens, if you’d feel safer.”

I scoffed. Yes, please send me to the man who punches women in the face.

It was then that the only source of comfort left in my world entered in behind Jamie. “Who’s been hiding my favorite niece from me so cruelly?”

“Uncle Rick!” I scrambled clumsily to my feet and stumbled into his long, outstretched arms. He had always been crazy tall, though it seemed everyone I was meeting in this strange place was uncommonly stretched. His hug was familiar, which was all I wanted out of life in that moment. Something, anything that felt real. And here he was, holding me with great affection, as he always had. “Uncle Rick, what’s going on? Why am I here? There was a bear, and then Jens, and now everything’s a wreck!” Before I could stop myself or listen to his explanation in that beautiful deep voice I’d missed so much, I was recounting everything that happened to me since Jens abducted me from my apartment.

Uncle Rick listened patiently until I finished. Then he turned to Jamie and waved his hand toward the door. “Go fetch her the clothes she came here in, James. Britta should never have taken them without her consent.”

I could tell Jamie wanted to defend Britta, but he nodded and left. Uncle Rick patted the top of my head, making me feel like I was a child again. Like I was safe because he was there. “I need answers, Uncle Rick. I don’t understand a thing.” I shook my head at his gray wizard costume. “And why are we both wearing dresses?”

“When in Rome, dear.” His ebony skin had acquired a few more wrinkles, but the life in his eyes was as youthful as it ever was. Really, he’s my mom’s friend, but we always called him Uncle Rick. It’s a little obvious we’re not blood relations. I mean, I’m fair-skinned and blonde, and he’s a towering black man with the kindest smile in the world. He was the only family I had left, and I clung to him as such. He smoothed my blonde hair away from my face and smiled as if I was something that brought him joy. Man, did I miss that fatherly affection. “Lucy, Lucy. You already know everything about my world. Don’t you remember the bedtime stories I used to tell to you and Linus?”

I let out a gusty laugh I had not accessed since I left home. “Sure. The ones about elves and garden gnomes, dwarves, Fosse-what’s-its and stuff like that? We loved those.” The adventures he spun always featured Linus and me with Uncle Rick, fighting bravely and saving the day against an evil siren queen.

That nagging unsolved puzzle clicked into place.

Pesta. The Siren Queen.

Linus and I used to act out the battles, fighting over who had to be the bad guy that was vanquished and who got to be the hero.

Linus.
He’d needed a hero, and I hadn’t been able to save him.

“Sit down, Goose.” Yup, my nickname as a kid was Goose. Lucy Goosy. Super clever.

I obeyed, sitting on the side of the bed and tucking my hands under myself. He sat at the foot of the bed, his large frame sinking down so much, it tilted me slightly. He scratched his half-inch long thick gray beard that had not changed my whole life. “Tell me what you remember about elves.”

I shrugged. “They do magic, usually connected with the elements. They study different charms they can use to heal people, fight battles and help out. Stuff like that.”

“We don’t age properly, either.”

“We?” I raised my eyebrow at his admission.

Uncle Rick nodded, his smile still in place as he watched my facial cues for freak-outs. “I’m an elf, Lucy. I’m three hundred four years young. The wise mage in my stories? Those were about my mentor, King Hallamar of Elvage.”

Understand, I’m not gullible. But Uncle Rick and I have a deal. We never lie to each other. Never. When I asked him as a kid where babies came from, he told me, and then made sure my mother did a proper woman’s version on the birds and the bees that very night. When I was five and Linus’s leukemia came back and put him in the hospital, everyone around said with terrified expressions that Linus was going to be just fine. When I asked Uncle Rick, he told me the truth. That there was a good chance Linus might not be okay, but there was always hope.

If only I could blame his confession on a growing senility in him, but that was not probable, either. So I relied on a tactic I employed in my angst-filled days as the new kid. It was Rule #1:
When in doubt, shut your mouth
. I looked up at my uncle and nodded to at least let him know I was listening.

Uncle Rick continued on with his education of Lucy Kincaid. “I’ve mentioned the nation that resides in the Warf, correct? I believe Linus was particularly fascinated with that race.”

I nodded, recalling many an excavating venture Linus took me out on with his shovel in hand when we were little. “The Warf? Yeah. Dwarves, right? They’re shorter, hairier and mine for treasure.”

A polite knock interrupted his flow, and Uncle Rick beckoned the caller inside. The door swung open, revealing Jamie with a folded pile of familiarity in his arms.

“My clothes!” The wave of relief that washed over me shone on my face as I took the pile from Jamie, who seemed uncomfortable to be holding such mannish women’s clothing. I hadn’t noticed before, but he had on a red sort of hat atop his wavy brown hair. It was the size of a yarmulke, but was pointed at the center like a miniature gnome cap.

And he thought my clothes were embarrassing.

Uncle Rick motioned to the partition in the corner of the room, so I ducked behind it and found a water basin and soap to wash myself with. “Space, guys,” I ordered, jerking my thumb toward the door. The men bowed politely and gave me the ten minutes it took to sponge off and get dressed. The simple gown was flung over the partition, and I emerged in my jeans, green long-sleeved T, purple tank and mismatched Chucks. Oh, the difference being in your own clothes makes. I almost felt like I had a right to ask questions again.

Alrik smiled indulgently at me when I let him back in. Jamie studied me with curiosity, as if I’d come out with a bird’s nest on my head.

Yes, it’s my nest, and I’ll wear it proudly. I dare you to criticize my shoes.

“Are you well, Miss Lucy?” Jamie asked; his erect stance bent slightly whenever he spoke to me. It was like he wasn’t sure I could understand him from my shorter stature. I’m 5’7”, so I wasn’t used to being the shortest one everywhere I went, but that seemed to be the case in Jens’s land. Or Uncle Rick’s. I really wasn’t sure where I was anymore.

“I’m getting better.” It was at that moment that Jens let himself into the room, not bothering to greet anyone. “I spoke too soon.” I backed up, giving the larger men the floor to converse without me.

Jens was all business, accessing none of the biting humor we exchanged in the car. “It’s past the midpoint of the day. If we’re going to meet with your friends and talk to the king, now’s the time. Tor’s already at my place, stinking it up.”

Jamie shook his head at his friend. “You know you shouldn’t be here. If my father finds you’ve been in my house, he’ll have you thrown out for sure. I told you I’d bring her out for you.”

A cold look settled over Jens, his upper lip sneering. “I couldn’t care less if your father finds me. He’s already tried offing me three times. Four would just be amusing at this point.”

Arrogant prick.
I didn’t know totally what they were talking about, but I recognized haughtiness when I saw it.

Uncle Rick’s disappointed expression was directed at Jens. “Patience was never your strong suit. It won’t do to provoke King Johannes before we meet. Sneak back out, Tom.”

Jens glanced at me with a hard look in his emerald eyes. “You couldn’t wear a dress to make things easier for us, could you?”

I kept my voice deadly quiet as I glared at him, fists clenched at my sides. “Look, Jimmy, I don’t have to lift a finger to make your life easier. And you can get your rocks off looking at women in dresses all the livelong day. I won’t stop you. Just look elsewhere.”

“Jens,” he corrected, steaming already. His posture stiffened as he spoke. “My name is Jens, and if the others don’t respect you, they won’t listen to Alrik and come with us. It’s more important than your precious feelings, what we’re dealing with here.”

“What who’s dealing with? You want me off your team? Fine by me. Drop me at the nearest Y.” My stomach was upset, and it was making me more irritable than usual.

“You still don’t know? Come on, you can’t be this slow.” He pointed to Uncle Rick. “Alrik, elf. Jamie and Jens, Tomten. You, human brat.”

I bristled, shaking my shoulders as if that might rid me of him. “Lay off, Jens. I’m warning you. You burned my apartment down, let them take my clothes, poisoned me with your vampire fangs, bossed me around and pissed me off.” I touched the bandage on my neck. I could still feel the faint sting where he’d bit me. “Get out, Lestat!”

Uncle Rick waved Jens off. “We’ll meet you back at your house within the hour. I trust by then you two will learn how to get along?”

I wanted to stick out my tongue, but didn’t think that’d be as intimidating as I wanted to appear.

Jens looked like he wanted to shout at me, but held his tongue out of respect for Uncle Rick. He stepped to the door that had far too many locks and bolts on it and tugged on his ear, tossing me an unfathomable look before disappearing.

Like, literally vanishing into thin air.

Nine.

The Kindness of Strangers

Though the sun was unbearably bright, I followed Uncle Rick’s robes that flowed ahead of me. That was about all I could see, and even that much was overwhelming and made my eyes water. My eyes were only slits with my hands shielding them, and I wondered if the sun was actually that bright, or if Edward Cullen’s venom was making me light sensitive. Either way, I had about a foot of vision. Beyond that, I was left guessing and fumbling.

And falling. I tripped over… something and pitched forward. My embarrassing squeak was interrupted by Jamie, who had been walking beside me.

“Are you alright, Miss?” He reached out and grabbed my arm, righting me before I face-planted on the grass.

“Yeah. Um, I can’t see anything. Did Jens do this to me? Why is it so bright here?” I could hear people a few meters out whispering in my direction, but I held my head high. Let them get a good look at the weirdo. Fine by me. It was similar to the time Linus and I briefly attended a middle school where most of the population was Latino and spoke Spanish. They all called me “rubia con chichis grandes”, which I tried to ignore. Linus cringed or bit back every time that nickname was used. He got in a lot of fights at that school.

“Allow me.” Jamie offered his arm to me, helping me by lacing my arm through his. “Jens mentioned our sun is a bit brighter than yours. It might take some getting used to.” When I did not respond (I mean, what was he expecting me to say after that?), he continued in the kind cadence of a tour guide. “Our lands have no set season of death, so the sun beats bright on our crops. Our kingdom has no shortage of bounty. Every year, it grows.”

“Would it be cool if I closed my eyes? Can you make sure I don’t fall? I really can’t see anything, and the sun’s giving me a headache.”

Jamie consented, and I gripped his arm tighter with both hands. “I confess, I’ve never met a human before. You’re a rarity, to say the least.”

“Excellent.” Once again, I was the new freak in school. Rule #3:
Don’t let them smell your fear.
“And if I remember Uncle Rick’s bedtime stories correctly, you’re Tomten. Or at least that’s what I’m supposed to believe.” I was not sure how elaborate a stunt had to be for them to manipulate the sun, so I gave into the inevitable – playing along in my uncle’s games.

Jamie chuckled. It was a gentle sound that let me in on the fact that he was a kinder soul. Can’t imagine why he kept company with the likes of Jens. “You’re supposed to believe it because it’s true. I’m Tomten. So are Jens and Britta.”

Uncle Rick chimed in from his place in the lead. “Tell me what you remember about the Tomten, Lucy.”

I heard a few people passing nearby whispering about the “girl with the yellow hair”. I can only assume they meant me, who was stumbling along like the village idiot. Uncle Rick cleared his throat to regain my attention, and I rifled through my mental Rolodex for obscure bedtime stories we’d begged him for years ago. “Tomtens are garden gnomes. Jens gave me the refresher course on his people.”

“Good, good.” Uncle Rick paused his lesson to scold a particularly emphatic gossiper. Apparently, I was too short to be human. I must be a dwarf.

“So dwarves are real, too?”

“Too real,” Jamie answered. “One’s already holed up in Jens’s place waiting for us.”

“Oh, good. I was hoping this would get weirder.” I knew Uncle Rick would ask, so I went ahead as if he was my teacher, and I, the student. “Dwarves are shorter, hairy, and they mine for treasure.” I probably sounded racist, boiling an entire fake species down to the stereotypes Uncle Rick told me about, but I was past caring about social faux pas.

“Excellent! And do you recall the Fossegrimens?” I could hear the smile in Uncle Rick’s voice. I half expected a candy treat, like he used to give us the couple times he helped to homeschool us while we were transitioning schools. I always earned at least double what Linus did, so I ended up sharing some of mine with him at the end of the day. I hated it when Linus was bummed.

I clutched tighter to Jamie, aware that I did not know him, but also very aware of the other Tomtens watching me and talking about my every move as we passed. “Fossegrimens. Uh, are those the guys that’re under some kind of curse from the Siren Queen? They play music that controls people. Fiddles, I’m thinking.”

Uncle Rick had a smile in his voice. I could tell he was happy to finally share his real life fairy tales with me. “Not controls. Persuades. There’s a big distinction there.”

“Right. And they’ve got a gang war against the Nøkken, who use their singing voices to try and persuade people and nature and whatnot with their songs.” I heard a group of people nearby whispering about the girl with Prince James. Apparently, junior high was transferrable to Undraland.

“You are every bit as brilliant as you’ve always been. If I had a green Skittle, I’d give it to you straightaway.”

He remembered.

“Well, they changed the flavor since I was a kid. It’s some shade of disgusting now.”

Uncle Rick chuckled. His laugh was the best. It was easy to access, and always joyful, never biting. “Now, that is a shame. I suppose I shall just give you a gold star, then.” We stopped and he turned, pressing his thumb to my forehead, sticking what I assumed was a gold sticker there.

“Do you just carry a stash of those around with you?”

“This one’s a bit more special, if you’ll allow me to be impertinent. It’s an
arv
.”

“
Arv
?” I inquired.

Jamie made some noise of appreciation for what was apparently a grand gift. I felt my forehead, but did not find a sticker. There was a warm, tacky to the touch spot there instead. It began to dissipate into my skin. “What is it?”

“It’s my mark. I have a limited number of heirs, so I’ve marked you as mine. Wherever you go, we’ll be able to find each other now. Does that reassure you, even though I had you brought to this foreign place?”

I reached around with my eyes closed for his robes. “If I could see you, I’d give you a giant hug, Uncle Rick. Thank you. Your heir? Like, I’m your daughter sort of?”

“More than sort of. You have family in Undra now.”

I paused. “Can I still call you Uncle Rick? I kind of want to leave my dad as my dad, if that’s okay.”

“Of course.” My uncle chortled, deep and velvety, and I could feel the love in his eyes. “You’re causing quite a stir, holding onto Prince James like you are. He’s betrothed, you know.”

Rule #2: Learn the law of the land quick and abide by it, no matter how stupid.

My face heated, and I dropped Jamie’s arm. “Jeez, I should’ve guessed with the whole woman in jeans scandal that it’d be weird for me to be near you. I’m sorry. Wasn’t thinking. Do you want me to talk to your fiancée? Let Britta know I’m not stealing her man?” I felt so stupid and turned around. I could sort of make out Jamie’s form, but I could not see the amusement he spoke to me with.

“That’s alright, Miss Lucy. And I’m not betrothed to Britta. My fiancée is Freya.” He spoke her name like it was a species of insect that had yet to be determined as useful to the world.

“Oh. My bad.” I held up my hand for a high five to break the tension. “But prince? Not too shabby, Jamie. That’s pretty cool. Should I bow?”

He gave me a gentle high-five. I could tell he didn’t totally understand the gesture. “In front of my father, sure. But I’m third-born. Not worth the curtsy.” He reached for me again, tucking my arm in the crook of his elbow. “It won’t do to have you falling in front of your audience. You’re the first human in these parts. You’ll want to leave a good impression as a representative of your people.”

“Whatever. I heard that woman. They think I’m part dwarf.” I kept my eyes closed, but the light was too bright for my eyelids to properly filter. I put my hand over as a blinder. “Why is it still getting brighter out? Not to be a whiner, but this is kinda painful.”

Jamie fielded this one. “We just left the city, and it’s mostly farms out here, so there are less buildings to block the sun from you.” He patted my hand. “Plus, there’s probably still a bit of Jens’s venom in you. Do you have a terrible stomachache?”

“Yup.”

“It will wear off,” Uncle Rick assured me. “The after-effects are a bit like a hangover. Let this be a life lesson to you that you never want a real one.”

“No, sir.”

Uncle Rick called out to someone in the distance, beckoning them to us. Jens answered, and I heard him running closer. Now the whispers around me included Jens’s name, too. They spoke of him in the same awestruck and excited way Tonya would have gushed if Vin Diesel walked into the room.

I sighed. “Oh, good. I was wondering if there was a way to make this whole experience worse.”

Jamie’s smile could be heard in his tone. “Now, now. He’s my best friend. A real solid Tom. He’s the best protector we’ve got to offer.”

I had several disparaging remarks to this, but I kept my mouth shut. Jamie was just too sweet for me to burst his bubble about what a jerk his friend was. “That’s nice,” I lied.

When Jens reached us, he sounded concerned. “Why are you guys taking so long?” He smacked his forehead as it dawned on him. “My venom. Sorry about that. I didn’t think about your whole being human handicap.” He turned to Uncle Rick. “Foss is on his way. Tor and Nik are here, but they’re already starting in on each other. I hope you know what you’re doing, Alrik.”

“Yes. If you’ll excuse me. I’ll go on ahead and see to quelling their fight. I fear if I wait for Lucy, your hut will be in cinders by the time we reach it. Excuse me, Goose.”

“Huh?” My foot snagged on a root, so I clung tighter to Jamie.

Jens touched my shoulder. “I gotcha.”

“Get your paws off me,” I warned. “I’m getting along just fine.”

I could hear Jens’s disapproval. “I can see that. Look, this isn’t Ohio. You can’t hang onto an engaged man like that, Loos. People are already talking.”

I harrumphed, dropping Jamie’s arm with chagrin. “Fine! How do you expect me to get anywhere if I can’t see where I’m going?”

“Hold onto me instead.”

I stopped walking and crossed my arms over my chest, miffed that Alrik left me with the jerk who attacked me twice and punched out another woman. “Dude, that’s not gonna happen.”

He let out a noise of irritation. “Fine. Go on to my place, Jamie. Help Alrik get them all cooperating with your diplomat-speak. Tor’s out in my orchard, but he’ll be back. I’ll make sure Lucy doesn’t kill herself tripping over her own two feet. Oh, the glory of guard duty.”

Jamie trotted off, leaving me to Jens’s devices. Apparently I was headed in the wrong direction, because he kept telling me to walk a little more to the right.

“You seem pissed,” he observed.

“Well spotted.” I huffed when my stomachache started to get to me. “You know, if I had a fiancé, I’d want him to help someone who needed it, even if it was another woman. Your culture is weird.”

“You won’t get any arguments from me. I’m barely here anymore.”

“Because the king wants you dead?”

He scoffed. “If anything, that’s a reason to stay. The more King Johannes tries to off me, the weaker he looks. He’s an idiot.”

“Whatever. Could you rage against the machine a little quieter? Your voice is like a foghorn.” Plus, there were people yelling their greetings to Jens, as if he was a celebrity.

“Keep going right. Follow my voice, Loos. Go to your right.”

I could hear a group of women nearby gossiping about Jens the Brave and “the human female”. Apparently, him being out in the open was almost as much of a scandal as me being here. I could feel people watching me as I walked where Jens led, and I hated it. I felt so foolish, plodding along with my eyes shut, stomach churning and flesh baking in the too-hot sun. “So what’s this meeting about?”

“Not really something to talk about in the open.” He turned to the side. “Hey, Helsa. Did I miss anything important around here?”

Helsa seemed enthralled that the great Jens was speaking to them, her voice all high-pitched and giggly.
Oh, brother.
“Yes! Farmer Amund’s goats got into Davin’s potatoes and nearly caused a riot between their families.”

The other female piped in eagerly. “And Prince Jamie’s betrothed is coming in three days to inspect the land. If she likes it, she’ll stay, instead of taking Prince Jamie to her father’s kingdom.”

“Great,” he answered, though I could tell he had opinions about this.

Not to be outdone by her friend, Helsa added, “There’s a wolf about, Jens. Do you think you could see to it while you’re back? How long do you think you might stay this visit?”

“No idea,” he answered, and I could tell he wasn’t even looking at her. “To your right, Loos.”

“Okay.” I took another step, and then stopped. “Are you leading me in a circle?” I cracked open one eye at his laughter, but it was a mistake. The light was so bright, I stumbled back, landing on my rear and making a fool of myself, which only made him laugh more. Helsa and a dozen more people nearby giggled at the stupid, clumsy human. Their exact words.