Authors: Samantha Harrington
Copyright © 2015 by Samantha Harrington
Copyright © 2015 by Samantha Harrington
First publication: December 2015
ll rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof
may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever
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Printed in the United States of America
First Printing, 2015
NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR
This book is a work fiction. The names, characters, places, and incidents are products of the writer’s imagination or have been used fictitiously are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, actual events, locale or organisations is entirely coincidental. The author does not have any control over and does not assume responsibility for third party websites or their content.
Published in the United States of America
or my children - never give up. Always give it 110%, and know that I am proud of you all. You bring so much joy and love to my life. Never forget that, even when my head is in my laptop, I love you with all of my heart.
For my husband - for all the times you have pushed me to try when all I wanted was to stop.
For my best friend, Charlie, your constant reading and the truth you tell me, for the times when I think I can’t go on and write one more word, you are there every step of the way. You’re always there whenever I need you, on the phone or in person. What more could a girl want in a friend?
This book would not be possible without your love and support. xxx
nother, week goes by and it doesn’t seem as if Damien will be home anytime soon; this is his second trip to Russia. The first one was before the wedding and he was gone for a whole month. It was after that trip realised I was pregnant with our child. Reaching down I rub my hand over my swollen tummy, only three weeks to go until our little princess is due, I feel like a beached whale and I haven’t seen my ankles for weeks! Lilly has been a God send while Damien’s been away, she‘s kept me company, made me snacks whenever I’ve had a craving and trust me when I say I have had some weird cravings, ice cubes dipped in cinnamon, so that I can suck on them, that has to be the strangest one.
The nursery is finally finished, I didn’t want to get a designer in to do it, I wanted to do as much as I could myself. Damien built the furniture before he left for Russia and Lilly and I have been putting all the clothes and teddy’s away. Unwrapping the bassinette made me cry, damn hormones, I weep at anything, I placed that in our bedroom, making sure it was in easy reach of our bed.
I waddle in to the kitchen and find Lilly sat at the table having some tea and scones. I love that she has scones with cream and jam for her afternoon treat.
“Are you ok my sweet?” her concern never waivers, she is a true mother, caring and loving but don’t think she is a push over she will have you doing as your told before you realise you’re doing it.
“I just miss Damien, he’s been gone three weeks now and baby could come any day now. It’s our first Christmas is in a couple of days and I don’t really relish the idea that he might not be here with us.” I say, trying to hide the hurt in my voice.
“When did you last speak to him? You know what he is like when it comes to business. He forgets everything around him. Have you told him how your feeling Faith?” Her questions are valid, I am just that happy to hear his voice, that I just let him talk about what he is doing and when he asks about me, I just say we are ok and not to worry about us.
“Last night, when he called to tell me goodnight and tell me about his day.” I tell Lilly, I see her look to me, wondering why I never mentioned it to him then if I only spoke to him last night.
“Let’s go put the tree up how does that sound.” I am grateful for her distraction, she can sense that my mood is shifting and I would probably only end up crying again. One thing is for certain, when I have this baby I will be happy when the tears stop. I watch anything on the TV and I cry, I wake up in the middle of the night I cry, I look at a baby blanket and I cry, they are driving me bloody potty.
“Yeah that will be nice but I don’t want to put the angel on the top, can we leave that for Damien to do when he finally gets home?” I say to her. Making my way into the living room I see the huge Norway spruce, standing tall in the corner of the room.
I start to tear up again, but I quickly shake them off. I know Damien should be here helping decorate the tree for our first Christmas.
I start to pull the decorations out of there boxes, the glass stars twinkle in the light of the room and the red and gold baubles spin on the end of the string that will attach them to the tree.
I can’t help but feel alone, I know I have Lilly, Damien’s mum with me but I want Cami with me, I miss her spark, her warmth and her genuine care.
I know she needs time to deal with what happened to her, I can’t imagine what she has been through but since we left the wedding I have only spoken to her a few times over the phone. She’s sunken into her own personal hell and I can’t do a thing to help her. The only person who she lets within a ten-mile radius is Malc. Damien has eased his duties so he can go to her whenever she needs him, and he does daily. It’s been months since I’ve seen her and I only see Malc once a week when he checks in and lets me know how she’s doing. But his reports are vague, leaving me craving more information on my best friend.
What I want the most is to have everyone here on Christmas day. I want to be surrounded by people we love most in the world, to share presents and a meal with them with laughter filling the air.
That is what Christmas should be but at this rate I will be lucky if I get Damien home in time, so it looks like it might just be Lilly and me.
I leave the top of the tree bare that is something the man of the house should do, like my father used to do. Well the less said about that slime ball the better, how anyone can do that to their daughter is beyond me.
I slowly climb into bed, placing my phone at the side of me, Damien should phone anytime now; he always rings before I got to bed.
True to form I hear the ringing of my phone and try my hardest to pull myself up so that I can answer it, it takes effort now to get out of bed.
“Hi.” I breathe, not out of arousal, out of sheer breathlessness from trying to get up to answer the bloody phone.
“Hey, baby, you in bed?” he sounds tired and miserable, my heart hurts that I can’t be with him right now to ease all his worries and stress. To take him into my arms and give him comfort when he obviously needs it.
“Yes, I’m in bed. How is it going over there? Any sign of when you will be coming home Damien?” I don’t add that I need him orthat I miss him more than anything after everything we have been through, I know that he hates being away from me as much as I do. The security is always bumped up when he goes the guards that hang around and trail me everywhere I go do my head in, but he won’t budge on it. He refuses to let anything ever happen to me again.
“The results came back form the DNA place today, and it looks like Alekzander, is my half brother, I can’t get my head around the fact that my father had another life and child that we did not know about! He sent them money every month, that’s how all of this came to light because when he died, payments stopped and I was not going to start sending money on a letter, I had to get the proof Faith, I am just unsure of what this will do to my Mother, he wants to come to England, but I told him when I visit next we can discuss it further.”
I am reeling from what he has just said, all those years that his father lied and deceived his wife and children.
“At least you know the truth now, you’re better prepared to figure out a solution with all the correct information Damien, it’s what you do best.” I feel helpless; he doesn’t need my worries on top of everything he is going through, we will have plenty more Christmases to come.
“I know it’s just hard. I miss you Faith, I miss holding you, watching you while you sleep, wrapping my arms around you and placing my hand on your stomach feeling our baby kick against my hands. I hate leaving you for this length of time.” His words threaten to start my tears again and this time it’s not hormones, but the sweet words of my husband.
“Hey, stop worrying about me. I’m ok, your Mum is here with me, she’s keeping me going, you do what you need to do. Just come back to me in one piece you know that’s all I ever ask.” I tell him as confidently as I can, knowing that on the inside I’m about to burst.
“Night moya lyubov. I will be with you as soon as I am able.” I love him speaking in Russian, it warms my heart because he only uses it with me.
“Good night, my love.” I say aand after a beat the line goes dead. I put the phone back down on the side table and tuck myself into bed, I let the tears come knowing that I am loved more than anything and he will be home as soon as he can.
he call with Faith last night broke me, listening to the hitch in her voice when she told me she was fine. It’s pure torture.
I hate that I am away from her for this length of time again, our baby is due anytime and it’s Christmas in in 2 days. Yet here I am stuck in this freezing cold city. I just want to be at home with my girl.
This started about 8 months ago, I received a letter from a Russian lady claiming that my father Viktor Volkov had another son, at first I put it down to someone just trying it on and tried to ignore it but then she wrote me another letter confirming dates and details about my father that only his family would have known. So I flew out to Russia and was gone for a month just before my own wedding. I came home reeling about everything and told them I wanted a DNA test done to confirm and if it was true I would help them as best as I could. Family is important to me, but yet again my father’s betrayal caused this and I’m the on left to pick up the pieces. My mother was devastated to learn it was a possibility and I guess now it is confirmed it will put her right back to where she was when we lost my sister. Hurt, lost and broken. I don’t want to deal with this. Right now all I want is to go home, be with my wife and look forward to the birth of our baby.
She thinks I don’t know how hurt she is, but I do. My mother calls me everyday to tell me how she’s really doing and as much as I love Faith she will never admit that she needs me home, that she wants me home.
“How long do we have to stay? Don’t we have everything we need now Anton? The lawyers should be happy, we can work on getting him a fucking visa when we get back on home soil.” I say to him. Anton is older and wiser than me, he knows the best ways to proceed in most things and even though I am the head of this family, I have a lot of respect for this man he has always been with the family.