Unforgettable (11 page)

“
That’s enough. He doesn’t
own you. You can always stay with me, Sammy. Don’t forget
that.”

He smiled as we pulled into the
driveway.

Jack was sitting inside on the steps
waiting for me.

I couldn’t look at him.

“
Jack, you tore my dress.
You are a bad…Oh, hello.” A tall amazingly beautiful blonde woman
with a heavy accent walked in wearing only a leopard thong and
carrying a black lace dress.

“
Kolina, this is
Sam.”

“
Nice to meet you. Too bad
you couldn’t be here earlier. We could have had much fun. Did you
enjoy with David?”

“
You know David?”

“
Oh, yes. David is very,
very good friend. For many years. But, perhaps we get together next
time. Or at David’s. He’s very sweet. You are very
pretty.”

“
Thanks. Nice dress. I think
Jack should buy you a new one.”

“
Yes. He will. He buys me
many things.”

She bent over and kissed Jack, her
round, firm boobs inches from my face, and walked out.

“
She’s gorgeous.”

“
Yes.”

“
So this is how it’s going
to be.”

“
What?”

“
I go out with David and you
invite someone over and fuck the hell out of her and then you
feel…what, back in control?”

“
How about we change that
whole scenario, missy.”

“
Missy?”

“
How about you’re one of
my
staff.
You go
fuck whoever you want, however you want, as long as you’re safe,
and I do what I want. Like I always have!”

“
Absolutely. Crystal clear,
sir. I’ll be ready at five-thirty, Mr. Nolan.”

I ran up the stairs. My temples were
pounding with anger. How could I have presumed I was anything to
Jack Nolan?

How completely stupid of me.

Ted and Gabrielle sat a few
feet above the steps.

“
Things are not going as
planned,” Gabrielle sighed.

“
I know you’re trying to
protect her but you know what we learned in the seminars, it’s best
to stay out of it. Let the living have their free will.”

“
You know this isn’t a
normal circumstance. I thought Mr. Hollywood would protect
her.”

Ted rubbed his bald head.
“He may. Loves her or he wouldn’t react like this. And that
Kolina.” He whistled.

She hit him and laughed.
They floated up through the ceiling joining the skydiver
group.

Monday

At four-thirty the next morning
something had the audacity to buzz next to my bed. It was the
phone.

“
Wake up my beauty.” It was
Fritz. “Did you want me to come up and start your
shower?”

“
What time is it? It’s dark
out.”

“
Four-thirty. The filming
business is a tough one as you will see. Coffee’s on.”

I was nervous about seeing Jack after
what had happened.

I followed the smell of coffee to the
kitchen. Fritz handed me a cup.

“
Good morning,” he
mumbled.

“
Good morning.”

“
Ready for
today?”

“
A bit nervous.”

“
You’ll do fine.”

“
If I could figure out what
it is I’m to do that could be true.”

He hugged me. It seemed perfectly
natural.

“
Feels good,” I whispered,
resting my head on his chest.

Jack yelled from the front that it was
time to leave.

Fritz looked at me.

“
I understand things didn’t
go well last night.”

“
You understand correctly.
But at least I know where I stand.”

“
Don’t take his angry
tantrums as gospel. Think about
why
he got so angry. And, perhaps, why you
did.”

I shook my head. I wanted my anger. I
wasn’t ready to let go. One of my many fatal flaws.

Gloria and two other security people
led in the black SUV. I helped Jack into the front seat of a red
Jaguar. We did not speak.

Fritz drove. With a gun sitting on the
console between the front seats.

“
Love scene this week,”
Fritz said. “Doesn’t she turn into an alien or
something?”

“
Just disappears in my arms.
Puff of smoke.”

“
Don’t you hate it when that
happens?”

Jack chuckled.

“
Today?”

“
Not sure. I think they want
me on a horse today.”

“
A horse?” I couldn’t stay
quiet over that one. “I don’t recommend that, Mr.
Nolan.”

They looked at each other. Jack ignored
it.

“
Fake horse. Just saying
some lines. Me. Not the horse.”

I couldn’t believe the studio. It was
titanic huge. I felt like a little kid standing next to her first
elephant.

There were workers everywhere, sawing,
hammering, checking lights. Chaos.

“
Hey, Jack!” A man in a
plaid designer shirt and khaki shorts hurried up to him. He was
short with a long chin, high forehead, and cropped brown hair. They
shook hands and discussed his ankle.

“
Sam, I’d like you to meet
John Black. The Director. John, this is the beautiful Samantha I
was telling you about.”

“
Very nice to meet you. I am
glad you are here with us. Anything you need, let me know. And any
ideas that you have as to how to get him in the positions we
need…the actions…I’d love to hear them.”

I nodded, certain he was feeding me a
line.

People came up to Jack from everywhere,
telling him the same thing…so glad you’re back…can you walk
yet?

Fritz was right. He was a
commodity.

One of the women with a clipboard and
headphones told him to go to costume and make up. A young man in
skinny jeans and a white tee shirt came and wheeled him
away.

“
And now we wait,” Fritz
told me. “Let’s go get some coffee and something to
eat.”

“
I worked in a really bad
nursing home for a while.”

“
Oh?”

“
It was nothing like
this.”

He giggled.

“
This is not like much of
anything else on earth. Except, perhaps, the government. Those
closed door sessions you know…they bring out the mats and punch the
hell out of each other.”

“
I never knew
that.”

“
Few people do.”

“
Can I ask you a
question?”

“
Of course.”

“
Why do you have a German
name if you’re from England?”

“
My mother was British. My
father was German and Austrian. So, when are you two going to kiss
and make up?”

We found the food table, got coffee,
rolls and oranges.

“’
Don’t know that we
are.”

“
Stubborn little nipper,
aren’t you? What good will come of this?”

Walking back we found a park bench to
share.

“
I don’t know. He’s setting
boundaries. The gist of it is that he doesn’t want me to see
David.”

“’
Doesn’t seem to care what
the cleaning crew do, does he? Hmmm…”

He smiled--the cat with a parakeet in
his mouth.

“
He cares for you. He’s
madly jealous. He’s also a bastard at times.”

We sat in silence, eating, watching the
circus going on around us.

“
I’m glad you’re here. I
would be totally lost without you.” I took his hand and it seemed
as if I’d done it for years.

“
So, when are you going to
tell me about last night?”

“
I had a nice time with
David.”

“
Yes.”

“
Loved his
house.”

“
Mhmm.”

“
Met Jack’s lovely
friend.”

“
Kolina.”

“
Yes.”

He fed me pieces of his cinnamon roll.
I licked the frosting from his fingers. I put small chunks in his
mouth, he nibbled on the tips of my fingers. His eyes were
smoldering hot. How could a cinnamon roll be so wonderfully
erotic?

“
I have a theory,” he said.
“Would you like to hear it?”

“
Sure.”

“
Sam meets David. David
doesn’t live with Sam. David is outside the tiny realm that Sam now
finds herself. David is known throughout the universe for being
exceedingly charming.

“
He charms Sam somehow to
leave the safety of the compound and the two men who are now madly
in love with her. And there is a reason she takes this leap. This
risk of pissing off Jack and the risk of losing the security she
currently has.”

I felt my spine fusing into a solid
block of ice.

“
You’re making me very
nervous.” I turned my back to him and peeled an orange.

“
So, in the land of
who-will-fuck-Sam-first, she goes on a date with David. She comes
back with her face tearfully red. Not just a few tears tearful but
that hard, broken heart sobbing tearful.

“
Now, what makes Sammy cry
like that? Only two things: what has happened in the past, all the
pain, the rotten things that happened after the assault, and, the
present, the frustration and terror over the sadistic bastard still
coming after her like the Terminator.”

“
I think I have to go to the
bathroom.”

“
Sit still. Now, Fritz
wonders, what do those two items have to do with the date with
David? Hmmm. There’s one clue about this whole thing that no one
has put together.

“
Except clever Fritz. Where
are the men in Sam’s life since the rape? Why did she leave St
Louis? Where was the love of her life who would love her, protect
her, persuade her to stay? Answer…”

“
Fritz, this
isn’t…”

He turned me around and put his arms
around me.

“
There were no men.
Why?”

“
Stop. I don’t like
this.”

“
Many women, after a rape,
choose a safe, loving, kind man who can help them overcome the
terror, the flashbacks, that having sex brings. After
rape.”

“
Fritz, let me go.” My anger
was spitting hot rivets at him.

“
It’s not an easy process,
though. Difficult, facing the fears, being touched again. Someone
like Sam might choose someone like David to be such a surrogate, a
smart, loving man who will be patient, won’t get angry, won’t
demand…But the tough part is how does Sam explain this to the two
men who are wildly, madly, hopelessly in love with her?”

I tried to get up but he held
tight.

“
What do you want from all
this?”

“
First of all, am I
correct?”

“
Yes, dammit, you’re
correct.”

“
Second, why not choose me
or Jack to help you?”

“
Lots of reasons. I didn’t
want to get into a heavy relationship when I don’t know if I’ll
ever be able to have sex. Don’t want to be broken when I start a
relationship so that I’m constantly being rescued.”

“
And?” He tilted my face up
to him.

“
When you or Jack kiss me or
start …I get very hot. And I want you. A lot. It’s been a very long
time, Fritz. And I know, from one bad experience, that I can make
it through until a certain point and then I panic. And I stop. I
run. And that tends to really piss guys off.

“
Fritz, I can’t believe you
put all of this together. Are you going to tell Jack?”

“
Things are going to be
difficult with Jack if he doesn’t know what’s going on. Even if he
does. He’s going to act out like he did last night, waving the
Kolinas of the world in your face. Trying to hurt you back. Because
it’s killing him that you’re with David. But if you don’t want me
to, I won’t tell him. What if you fall in love with
David?”

“
I don’t know. I think
perhaps I am. All I know is that I tried therapy. Lots of it. And
my therapist finally told me that I needed a ‘David,’ just like you
described.”

“
I’m so jealous my eyes are
turning green.”

“
Your eyes are
green.”

“
See. They used to be a
lovely blue.”

I laughed.

“
I want to be the one who
holds you, Sam, helps you. I’d be lying if I said differently. I’m
not letting you go.”

I kissed him. I
didn’t
want
him to
let me go.

We walked back to the set, his arm
around me, so safe, so comfortable.

I loved him. How did it happen? The
night before I loved David. I had never been like this before and I
didn’t understand it. But at that moment I wanted Fritz more than
anything in the world. Jack and David seemed to fade
away.