Unison (The Spheral) (22 page)

Flora turned her head towards me.

“Who shot you?” I asked.

Her mouth opened, but no words came. Flora’s eyes remained fixed after two blinks, and there was no hint of recognition in them. I meant nothing to her, but I loved her…and still did. From my perspective, love traveled beyond emotions and even beyond the realm of time. It transcended both, but I wouldn’t comprehend the depth of that realization until many incarnations later. The sun beat down on me, and I took hold of Flora’s hand. Believing I’d see her again I smiled as tears burned a trail down my face, bringing my second incarnation to a close.

THE CAREMAN

THIRD INCARNATION

M
y first night in the cabin ushered in a series of dreams that dislocated me from present reality, and I’d wake up uncertain of where I was. I encountered people whom I never met in lands I never visited. Unfamiliar mountain paths led me to outdoor cities with tents. Exotic animals with humps on their backs carried people across a barren ocean of sand, and I spoke in a language I never heard.

The one dream that disturbed me most repeated almost nightly. I lay dying on a dirt path. Thick roots emerged from out of the ground, wrapped themselves around my whole body and pulled me into the earth. Dirt surged into my mouth and nostrils, and I’d wake up gagging and coughing. Shisa stayed by my side during these times. It was as though she knew I needed comforting.

I thought once I got to New Athenia I’d recover but during my stay in the trainlets, I had the most horrible nightmare. As I stared at Wade’s dead body lying at the bottom of the ridge, he stood up and pointed his finger at me.

“You did this. It should be you.”

I next died in his place and was sucked into the ground by large roots as in my previous dreams. When I awoke, Wade sat on one of the benches with his arms crossed.

“You know why you’re here, don’t you?” he asked.

“Damnation.”

“Glad to see you’re not the same pretentious slock I left behind.”

The door slid open, and Old Woman entered. “That’s where you’re wrong. He’s still pretentious…and a slock.” She sat beside me. “You would’ve done anything to impress the Corporate Hierarchy.”

“Everything I did was for the Unitians. I wanted to make a better life for them.”

“By controlling their emotions? Didn’t you trust your flock,
Lord
Damon?”

“It was never about trust.”

“It’s always about trust,” Wade said, now sitting on the opposite side of me. “That’s why they’re transmitting Harmony to fetuses now. They’re not out of the tanks yet, and the purple sleeves are already treating them like criminals.”

I laughed. “Now I know none of this is real. They’re not transmitting to fetuses.”

“Oh yes they are,” Old Woman said. “You and the rest of the Corporate Hierarchy don’t trust each other; that’s why you want to control everything and everyone around you.”

“It was never about control.”

“Then what did you mean when you said, ‘If we lose control, we lose everything?’” Wade asked.

“I
never
said that.”

“You did,” Old woman said. “And the time has come for you to confess—”

“I have nothing to confess to!” I stood and pointed my finger at her. “You have no right to judge me! Had I known Unity Forces were going to kill you, I never would’ve called them. And as far as Unity is concerned, I have nothing to do with what’s going on there anymore!”

“They’re using your technology,” Wade said.

Old Woman came to me and cupped my face with her hands. “I understand your pain,” she said softly, “but justifying your actions doesn’t exempt you from their outcomes.”

I peered into Old Woman’s eyes. “I didn’t know.” I placed my hands over her hands. “I never meant for you to get hurt.”

“I didn’t get hurt, Damon,” she said softly, “I died.”

I dropped my hands to my side. “I’m sorry…” I sniveled, “I’m so sorry.”

Wade laughed. “There’s no hope for you. Even out of Unity you grovel like a sleeve-worshipper.”

Old Woman chortled along. “And he cries like a baby after it’s first pulled out of an incubation tank.”

I pushed Old Woman away and clutched my head with both of my hands, trying to block out the voices.

“Covering your ears won’t keep you from remembering what you’ve done to us,” Wade said. “We died because you and the Corporate Hierarchy are afraid of losing control, which would mean a loss of your power and your precious privileges.

Old Woman walked in front of me. “We’re all a threat to you. Our independence forces you to see a truth that most of us already know.”

“What truth is that?”

Wade walked over and whispered in my ear. “I don’t need to tell you because you already know it.”

“He does, but he refuses to acknowledge it,” Old Woman said. “He’s a coward like all the purple sleeves.”

I headed towards the door.

“I’m going to tell you, whether you want to hear it or not,” Old Woman said. “You were never really in control, and you never will be because control is nothing but a fantasy created to subjugate others…and yourself.”

“That’s where you’re wrong! I’m in control now! I can walk away from here because neither of you are here.”

I headed to the door, and Wade blocked me from leaving.

“I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere.” He thrashed his finger in front of my face. “As long as Harmony exists, I’ll never leave you alone.”

I saw Wade’s dead body on the ground and woke up. I leapt out of bed and sprinted outside until my breath depleted. Exhaustion cancelled out my anxiety, and I returned to my trainlet, drained of my emotions. My late-night run turned into a daily ritual as it was the only way I could sleep. The dialogues with Old Woman and Wade continued for the next three days, and I couldn’t tell whether I was awake or dreaming.

Someone rapped on my door after I yelled at Wade for blaming his death on me.

“If you didn’t call Unity Forces, we’d both be on our way to New Athenia!”

“I’m not going there,” I said. “Only sickness and ruin exists on the other side.”

“You know that’s not true. You’ve been there before.”

“I never set foot beyond this tun—”

“No pay, no stay, Chap,” Sephroy yelled from outside.

I slid open the door. “I don’t have anything else I’m willing to give away.”

“How about you work for me? Could use some help around here.” He spied Shisa, who was asleep on the floor. “Or you can give me the dog.”

I agreed to work for Sephroy, and after a few days my senses adjusted to the wretched smell of the waste buckets. Sephroy paid me with chick peas and lentils he got from his network of traders. Most of my business was with a local who came by with wine, dried fruits, nuts, and seeds. I avoided most of the other visitors except for a gypsy woman who was on her way to rejoin her caravan.

She read my fortune by holding both my hands. “You’re going to travel the world, find riches, and rule over a tribe who will worship you like a god.”

I didn’t believe her, but she was the most entertaining visitor to the trainlets. We played gin rummy, exchanged anecdotes, and traded a few items. I got some candles, a deck of cards, and two woven blankets. One became Shisa’s bed, and the other I saved for a future trade.

I began to worry about Shisa not getting enough sunlight, and I persuaded Sephroy to take her with him on his next trip out of the old tunnel. When I brought Shisa to him, she didn’t seem pleased with her new companion. “If she doesn’t return with you—” I flipped my plazer around in my hand and then pointed the barrel towards Sephroy. “This is what will be waiting for you on your return.”

“Think the tunnel is getting to you, Chap. When I get back, you should get outside for some sunlight.”

“Light is pain. Light forces me to see things, and I hate being forced to see things.”

“Hmm. You sound a little weird, even for a dome dweller. I hear you talking to yourself a lot, lately. That’s what happens when you stay on the inside for too long.”

“I’m not talking to myself. My friends are staying with me.”

“Sounds like you got a lot of them.” He looked at Shisa. “Come on you.”

Shisa didn’t move.

“Go.” I petted Shisa and pointed my finger at Sephroy. “And remember what I told you.”

“We’re on the same team here, Chap. Try to remember that next time you talk to your
friends
. I haven’t gotten a good night's sleep since they showed up.” He shook his head and walked off with Shisa.

My conversations with Old Woman and Wade continued every day. They’d show up before I turned in for the night, when I got up in the morning, and while I cleaned the trainlets. Lost in my delusions, Sephroy started to avoid me after he returned.

I went for a sprint after another tiresome exchange with Wade and Old Woman. When I returned, I was surprised by a figure wearing a wide-rimmed hat. I shined my lantern on him.

“Master Tyrus?”

Tyrus shifted his lantern towards me. “Damon?” He eyed me from top to bottom. “What the slock happened to you?”

He walked towards me, and I ran back to my trainlet. “I’m not going back! Never! Do you hear me? Never!” I shut my door and pulled down my shades.

Tyrus knocked.

“I’m not going back!” I said.

“I’m not here to hurt you. I left as well. I’m here with two other passengers.”

“How do I know they didn’t send you to get me?”

“Have you ever heard of a purple sleeve entering the old tunnel to chase after a defector? Even Unity Forces don’t wander this far.”

I opened the shade and surveyed the visible area. “No one ever accused them of being brave.” I slid open the door, and Tyrus entered.

“How long have you been here?” he asked.

“Why do you want to know?”

“You look as though you could’ve been born here.”

“I sometimes feel that way.” I sat on the bench.

“Did you go to New Athenia? On my way over I met some Outsiders who suggested I visit.”

“Never made it past here.”

“When are you leaving?”

“I’m not. There’s nothing beyond here for me.”

“It’s not your fault, Damon.”

“It’s all my fault.”

“Then I should condemn myself to this prison because I’m guilty of the same thing.”

“Did you kill someone too?”

“No…did you?”

“Everyone who receives Harmony’s signal. They’re always around here to remind me.”

Tyrus examined an altar I made in remembrance of Wade. A small tealight flickered in front of Wade’s picture along with a few of his personal belongings. The gypsy woman who gave me the candles told me about altars and how her people used them to honor their highest-regarded teachers.

“Their ghosts talk to me,” I said.

“As long as you listen, they’ll continue.”

“I’ll listen for as long as they want.”

“You sound like a tragic hero from one of those dreary Unitian operas.” He sat down next to me and removed his hat. “Do you want to end up like one of them—stuck in reintegration, reciting the Sacred Oath for an eternity?”

“I can write better than most of those composers.”

“Wouldn’t take much effort.”

I glared at him. “Am I in reintegration now?”

“This is all real. Too real.” Tyrus waved his hand in front of his face. “You smell as if you haven’t bathed since you left Unity.” He probed me for a moment and eyed his holologue. “You need to leave this place.”

“Why? I like it here.”

“The conductor who took care of the transports hasn’t been heard from for almost twelve weeks.”

“How unfortunate.”

“The Strikers wanted me to take over, but my health is faltering. I just volunteered you.”

“You’ll have to un-volunteer me. I already have an assignment.”

“It’s the least you could do, since you’re responsible for the conductor’s death.”

“Tell them you made a mistake. I never met the conductor.”

“You turned her in to Unity Forces.”

“Old Woman was the conductor?”

“And now so are you. To keep Freedomline secure, the Strikers will never know your identity, except for your contact who will bring the passengers to you.”