Authors: Unknown
Dani stumbled inside her flat and closed the door, leaning against the wood and touching her tingling lips with questing fingers. If only that kiss could have lasted just a few more seconds. If only she could have been given a chance to match that strange, powerful anger with warmth, then maybe he would have realised that she understood something of his dilemma. He was walking out of her life because she was divorced. His head was ruling his heart.
The sound of the Volvo being started up took her over to the widow on trembling legs, and she was just in time to watch it being driven away through blurred eyes.
She told herself that she had known a crazy, all-consuming love once before. It hadn't worked before, and it couldn't work now. They were better apart.
Yet, despite the brave words, the empty square echoed the desolation in her heart.
'Hello
, Marina, I'm home.' Dani tucked the telephone receiver under her chin and fiddled with the catch of her handbag as she spoke.
'Did you have a good time?'
'Not bad.' Dani surveyed her tanned arms with pride. 'The weather was beautiful and I met some nice people. What's been going on here while I've been away?'
'Nothing much.' Dani could imagine her sister's mind turning back the pages of the last two weeks like a diary. 'Oh, Brian has had an accident. . .'
'Brian? What did he do?'
'He fell off your staircase while he was trying to mend it.'
'Oh no!' Dani had noticed the new treads, the reinforcement of the whole structure and the brand new handrails as she struggled upstairs with her luggage. 'Was he badly hurt?'
'He broke his arm, unfortunately. Someone drove him to hospital and then Prentice took over. He made Brian leave the Barn and go and stay with his father. . .'
'Brian's father is dead,' Dani interrupted.
'No, not Brian's father, Prentice's father. It is confusing, isn't it? Anyway, he's been gone about a week now and I don't know when he's coming back.'
'Oh.' The idea of the flat below her own being empty somehow did not appeal to Dani. She was used to Brian's noise; to the sound of his stereo and the way he sang to himself. He was company even without them seeing one another. 'Any good news?' she asked hopefully.
'Not that I can think of. But I should make sure you keep your door locked. There's been a spate of vandalism around the village. Jimmy Lake had the soft top of his sports car slashed and Les had paint sprayed over his Range Rover. One or two other cars have been damaged, too.'
'Oh lord!' That was bad news. Dani thought of her unprotected Fiesta in the yard outside and realised that she had not even spared it a glance since her return home. After a holiday in Italy, she did not relish the possibility of having to spend money on it.
'Your car is okay,' Marina said reassuringly, 'Harry drove it round here as soon as Brian had his accident. He would have moved Brian's Morgan, too, but he didn't fancy having to push it.'
'Thanks, Marina.'
'My pleasure.'
They talked for a while longer and then Dani put down the receiver and stretched her arms luxuriously above her head. She felt rested and relaxed after her two weeks in the sun, and ready for school to start again in four days' time, but the news of Brian was depressing and suddenly she felt a little flat, as if coming home was somehow an anticlimax.
She had booked a riding lesson for later in the day, so she pottered around in her flat until the time came for her to change and find her riding hat before setting out for the stables.
Leaving her car at the edge of the riding complex, Dani walked down the concrete yard to the archway that would take her into the nerve-centre of the school, and she stood in the opening for a moment and looked around her.
It was a pleasure to see the stable blocks set on three sides of a big square and to watch the horses as they poked their heads out of the stalls. Dani liked the activity that was always such a feature of the place, and yet it was peaceful, too. No rush and hurry here. The presence of the horses seemed to slow the pace of life to a sedate walk, and the clanking of a bucket as it was carried around the square and the movement of some of the horses in the stalls were all a part of Dani's enjoyment.
She went into the tack room, another favourite place of hers with its smell of leather and its neatness. A peg for every bridle and a place for every saddle, all tidily marked with the name of the horse who owned it; Raffles, Dandy-man, Sugar, Zed, Tucker and Thunder.
Thunder's saddle and bridle were missing and Dani winced. Thunder
again! He was
the only
horse that
had been available, but the very name made her nervous and she had never managed to handle him properly. It was not the horse's fault. She had seen other riders on him and he had behaved perfectly. She was certain that he sensed her nervousness and reacted to it.
'Ah, there you are, Mrs Robertson.' Her instructor, Mary Goss, walked Thunder out of his stall and handed him over to Dani who took his reins and led him to the exercise ring. This was a large area in the middle of the courtyard which was enclosed with ranch-style fencing and had an earth and sand floor. It was big enough to accommodate about eight riders going through their paces, but Dani always had a lesson by herself, not wanting to make mistakes in front of her own pupils, several of whom were already more proficient than she was. It was only really Marina's enthusiasm that kept Dani trying at all. Marina loved horses and wanted Dani to hack with her.
Efficiently Dani tightened the girth, let down the stirrup leathers and prepared to mount the animal. This was the easy part and she swung herself into the saddle with confidence, sure that Mary would not fault her.
'You twisted the stirrup leather the wrong way,' Mary said calmly.
'Sorry.' Mistake number one.
'All right. Walk on.'
Walking the horse around the perimeter of the fence, Dani listened to Mary's instructions and began to gain a little confidence. Mary was not being quite as critical as she had been on previous occasions and Dani wondered if she was improving. This was, after all, only the fourth time she had been off a leading rein. She relaxed a little and even let her eyes wander around the stableyard while still listening to Mary.
Lord, what a beautiful horse! As Dani began her third circuit and was in a position to see the end of the stables where the tack room was situated, a rider and hunter clip-clopped through the archway and began to walk around the outside of the exercise ring. The horse was a grey, the colour of old pewter, and the set of his head and neck reminded Dani of the traditional knight of a chess-piece. He was a big horse, and his rider was a tall man, and the two together were a joy to look at. In a grey and black hacking jacket, jodhpurs and a black riding hat and boots the man had the kind of casual confidence that Dani yearned for and envied.
They approached one another sedately, the elegant man and his beautiful horse on the outside of the ring, and Dani and her chestnut on the inside. She was about seven
yards away when she recognised Prentice McCulloch.
Oh no! Not him! Not now, now of all times when the advantages were all on his side. He was obviously an expert horseman and she was just a raw beginner. Dani felt the traitorous colour begin to burn in her cheeks as the gap closed behind them, and then he was nodding his head to acknowledge her and his eyes, as they passed one another, were alight with mocking interest. Thunder stopped.
'Concentrate please, Mrs Robertson.' Mary Goss was on to her in a flash. 'Get him moving. Walk on.'
Another circuit. Dani tried to ignore the slowly moving grey and get back her earlier confidence, but she was too conscious of being watched, and Mary's comments became more frequent.
'All right, Mrs Robertson, prepare to trot.'
Obediently Dani shortened her reins a little and pressed her knees inwards, while at the same time becoming aware that Prentice had dismounted and was patting his horse. Thunder responded to her signals and she began the rising trot which she had found so difficult in the first few attempts, but now seemed natural and easy.
'Good!' Mary Goss encouraged her and Dani preened, trying to remember all that she had been taught and making a conscious effort to avoid looking at that tall, immaculately clad figure who was now unsaddling his horse in an open stall. She wished that he was not there, but his presence was making her more determined than ever to shine. Thunder was moving well, she felt light and graceful in the saddle, and when she was instructed to cross the ring diagonally, she managed it with another word of praise from her instructor.
For one half of every circuit, Prentice was within her
field of vision, and she saw him turn to look at her every time she passed the open stall where he was working. If only she could get through the lesson without committing some terrible blunder! She made silent promises to Thunder that if he behaved himself, she would bring him carrots on her next visit.
Round and round. Crossing the exercise ring diagonally, bisecting it from top to bottom, Mary Goss seemed determined to perfect every move, and Dani did her best and waited for her luck to run out. This was all going just too well.
On her next circuit she saw that Prentice had closed the stable door and was walking to the tack room with his saddle over his arm. If only he would leave, then Dani knew she could disgrace herself without his green eyes watching her and assessing her.
He did not leave. When he came out of the tack room, he strolled a little way around the ranch fencing and then leaned his elbow on it, putting one foot on the bottom plank of wood and settling down to enjoy himself. Watching her. And' as soon as that happened, as soon as she knew, without being able to fool herself, that his attention was on her, things began to go wrong. Thunder slowed to a walk when he was not supposed to, the horse seemed to lose his will to work, and Dani's concentration vanished.
'Shorten your reins, Mrs Robertson. Where do you think you're going, Mrs Robertson? You must make him go where you want to go, Mrs Robertson.' The instructions became sharper now, and with every one, Dani became more and more desperate. She knew she was doing badly. She knew that as fast as she tried to put one fault right, something else was going wrong, and Mary Goss seemed to sense her growing panic. 'All right, Mrs Robertson. One more circuit and then bring him back to a walk.'
Dani let out her breath in a silent gasp of relief at the command. At last! Even as the thought crossed her mind, Thunder broke into a canter.
She had never cantered before. She was aware of nothing but the sensation of moving faster than she wanted to, and a feeling of utter helplessness and fear.
'Sit back in your saddle.' Mary's voice was supremely confident. 'Sit back in the saddle and pull him up gently . . . gently!' Dani knew that to her instructor, Thunder's mouth was more important than she was, and it was that fact and the calm instructions which steadied her, and she brought her horse back to a trot and then to a walk, breathing deeply and trying to control her fear. As she came within sight of Prentice again, he was inside the ring.
She had not seen him jump the fence, but now he stood perfectly still, eyes intently upon her, and as she drew nearer she had the feeling that he was poised alertly to run towards her. Had he been going to help?
'It's quite all right, Mr McCulloch,' Mary Goss said. 'Mrs Robertson is fine. Walk on.'
Dani came within an inch of stopping the lesson then and there. Her canter had scared her and once again she became nervously aware that Thunder was bigger and more powerful than she was. He could canter again, if he wanted to. It was pride that lifted her chin and made her urge the horse forward, and pride that kept her walking around and then attempting another rising trot, when in reality she wanted to run away and hide in the tack room.
This was no good. She would never be able to go hacking with Marina. They would never let her out of the exercise ring, and she would not blame them.
'Turn your horse into the middle of the ring, Mrs Robertson.'
Please, Dani begged silently, not those exercises! Not today! Not with him looking!
'Whenever you're ready.' Mary Goss was smiling and Dani heaved a resigned sigh, lifted her right leg over the neck of the horse so that she was sitting sideways, then swung her left leg over the cantle so that she was sitting the wrong way around. Two more ninety degree turns brought her back into the saddle again, and also gave her a good view of Prentice. He was grinning broadly.
'Once again, Mrs Robertson.'
Every time Mary Goss mentioned her name, Dani wondered if it reminded Prentice of their last meeting. She had seen him since, of course, but only at a distance, either in his Volvo or on the other side of the street. They had acknowledged one another, but that was all. She had tried to shut him out of her mind, but that was impossible even though she knew that time could change nothing for them. She was still Mrs Robertson and she always would be. Resignedly she repeated the manoeuvre and caught sight of Prentice with his back to her. His shoulders were shaking.
Dani was shaking, too, but inside where it did not show. Her legs felt weak and every glance at that tall figure made the tremors begin again. The riding outfit suited him so well, emphasising his long, lean legs and the breadth of his shoulders. Dani realised that she was responding to the physical attraction of the man, and that knowledge made her nervousness worse. It was a relief to be told that she could dismount.
The dismount was flawlessly performed according to the textbook. Dani executed it gracefully and earned herself a word of praise, but when she walked Thunder back to his stall, she kept him between herself and Prentice and she prayed, quietly and earnestly, that he would be gone by the time she had finished unsaddling. It seemed like a small miracle when she walked back to the tack room and he was nowhere in sight, and she bit her lip as her heart lurched with disappointment. She didn't want to see him, she told herself sternly. She did not want his disapproval like a black cloud over the sun, nor his presence to bring back hurtful memories.