Authors: Unknown
She put her wet clothes down on a corner of the work surface. 'Do you have a plastic bag that I could put these in? I think I'll be throwing them away, but a bag will keep them from making more of a mess till I get them home.'
'Of course.' He reached for a bag from a cupboard and said, 'I've made you some hot soup. Come and sit down and drink it. It will help to keep the warmth in.' He waved a hand to the table and pushed a mug forward.
'Thanks.'
He placed the clothes in a bag while she seated herself at the island bar in the middle of the kitchen and sipped at the hot liquid. 'It was a shame about your lovely dress,' he commented, 'but I can't help thinking that it was worth it.' He smiled, looking into her eyes. 'I'm glad that we went to the bridge. I don't like to think what would have happened if we'd gone another way.'
She nodded. 'So am I.' She was sad about her beautiful dress, but there was no doubt that it was beyond redemption.
He came over to her. 'You were very brave out there. You must have been terrified but you didn't give up and you went on trying to find the little girl. You saved her. Doesn't that make you feel good about yourself?'
She made a face. 'I'm glad that she's safe, but I'm not sure that I feel any different about myself. I wasn't able to help my sister, or save Ryan. He's showing no signs of recovery. He's helpless. If anything, though, it's made me realise that I need to be back at work. At least when I'm busy there are moments when I'm not thinking about what happened to them.'
'The child is alive because of you. You should think about that.'
She put her mug down on the table and he came and stood behind her and laid his hands on her shoulders. It was a warm, comforting feeling to have him close by, and she savoured the moment, appreciating the gentle touch of his hands.
She said quietly, 'Maybe. I'm glad that I was there for her at the right time, but really my efforts weren't any greater than yours. After all, you saved her mother, didn't you?'
He studied her for a moment. 'Why is it so difficult for you to feel positive about what you do? You're the same at work. You have absolutely no confidence in yourself, have you?'
She frowned. How did he know that? All this time she had believed she had managed to hide her doubts from him and put on a reasonably good front, and yet he must have known she had misgivings all along.
She said slowly, 'I've never been sure that I was cut out for emergency medicine. I do my best, but I'm always afraid that I'll make a mistake. In our job, we can't afford to make errors of judgement, can we?'
'What makes you think that you're any different from anyone else? We all make mistakes at some time or other. It's human nature to be fallible.'
His hands caressed her shoulders, gently massaging them as though he would ease the tension from her, and she wondered if he knew what effect he was having on her. Probably not, she decided. It was just an absent-minded gesture on his part, a subconscious desire to make her feel better, nothing more, but it filled her with awareness of him, and made her wish that she could lean her head back against his chest and absorb his strength and support.
'I've never known you to make a mistake,' she said, 'but I've made so many.. .the man with the tumour, the other day. My sister's boyfriend, Ryan. I didn't do anything about his head injury and that's why he's in a coma now. Perhaps I should have taken more note of his deteriorating level of consciousness and given him medication to lower the intracranial pressure. If I had acted sooner, he might not be in the condition he is now.'
'You did what you could for him at the time. You needed to concentrate all your efforts on his other, more immediate injuries, and you shouldn't blame yourself for his condition now. He's lucky to be alive.'
She doubted whether Mark would have been remiss as she had been. He always managed to think on several fronts at once. 'I don't think my sister will see things that way. When she comes to question why he's not responding to treatment, she'll want to know how it came about.'
'I think you're being too hard on yourself.' He gently turned her around so that she swivelled in her chair to face him. 'Why do you punish yourself this way?'
'Don't you agree with my judgement of myself?' she countered. 'When we were at the monthly meeting the other day, talking about ways to increase throughput in A and E, you had no qualms about dismissing my objections to Shaun's suggestion. I had the feeling that you didn't rate my comments very highly. You seemed to be very much taken with Shaun's ideas and ready to casually disregard mine.'
'You feel that way because you don't know me very well.' His mouth made a wry shape. 'I believe in challenging people, in making them think, trying to draw the best out of them.'
'I think maybe you went about it the wrong way with me. I'm not good at cynicism and confrontation. I'm more for working as a team and helping each other out where necessary.'
'There's nothing wrong with that.' His mouth curved into a crooked smile. 'It's pretty much the way I think, too.' He looked into her eyes for a moment, and then, leaning forward, he dropped a light kiss on her mouth. She was so stunned by his unexpected action that her eyes widened and her lips parted in dazed wonderment.
He was very still, looking at her consideringly, and he must have decided that the experience was worth repeating because he moved closer and drew her to him, kissing her with a thoroughness that took her breath away. She closed her eyes and absorbed the sensation, feeling the tingling response of her lips and an answering heat that rippled through the length of her body. His hands moved over her, shaping her to him.
It felt unbelievably good and she melted into his embrace, wanting the kiss to go on and on. It was madness, of course, but she had never known this deep-seated feeling of belonging in her life before, and it all seemed so right, so perfectly natural.
She was lost, taken up with absorbing this irresistible wave of new sensation, so that when he finally dragged his mouth from hers she felt the loss as keenly as if he had taken her into the middle of an ice rink and left her there.
She opened her eyes and stared up at him, startled, enchanted, tantalised and wanting more, but she was so bemused by what had happened that she said nothing, Instead, she simply watched him and wondered what could have drawn him to do that.
He stepped away from her. 'I don't know,' he said, as though she had spoken. 'Don't ask. I've no idea what came over me.' He looked as though he was almost as mystified as she was.
He backed away some more, looking at her guardedly. She still hadn't recovered enough to say anything and he added, 'Perhaps it happened because we shared so much tonight, stumbling across the mother and child that way. All sorts of thoughts go through your head at a time like that. You begin to take account of what's important and what isn't. It makes you realise that life can be snatched away in a second or two.'
At last she came to her senses. She straightened. 'I think I know what you mean,' she said haltingly. 'There are moments that make you stand still and take stock. I think that's what happened with me one time—why I realised that I wanted to be a doctor, and why I wanted to do well in emergency medicine.'
His brows drew together in a dark line. 'What happened? Did some special event make you decide what you wanted to do?'
She swallowed and then nodded. 'My mother was killed in a car accident some years back, and it broke my heart that no one had been there to save her. It all happened so suddenly, and it was heart-rending, the way she was taken from us without any warning. Something like that tends to make you adjust your priorities.'
He nodded. 'That's understandable.'
'Yes...well...' She stood up, uncertain all at once. 'I really should get back to Jamie. I know my dad's there with him, but Jamie tends to look for me in the mornings, and life's been upsetting enough for him lately. I don't want to disrupt him any more than is necessary.'
'Of course. I'll take you home.'
He was as good as his word, and Sarah slipped into her father's house just a short time later. Her father and Jamie were fast asleep, and she crept into her own room without disturbing them.
In the morning, Sarah was glad she wasn't on duty that day. Too many thoughts were going round in her head, slowing up her reactions. As it was, she managed to get Jamie to school on time, and then she did a few chores around the house before going with her father to see her sister and Ryan at the hospital.
She didn't see Mark, but she guessed he was busy at work in A and E.
They collected Jamie from school on their way back home, and Sarah started to make preparations for tea. She was laying the table in the kitchen when a visitor walked into the room and startled her.
'Sarah? Your father let me in. He said you were in the middle of doing something and that it was all right for me to come through.'
Sarah looked up, and her jaw dropped when she saw Owen standing in front of her. He was a head taller than she was, with dark hair, strands of it falling across his brow.
Recovering after a moment or two, she said, 'Owen, I had no idea you were coming over here. How are you? Is this just a fleeting visit, or do you have some time off?'
'I'm on my way to a meeting at the conference centre, and I thought I would drop by and see how you were doing. Has there been any news of Hannah and Ryan?'
She shook her head. 'We've heard nothing specific yet. They're going to do some tests on Hannah tomorrow to see if she's recovered any sensation yet, but Ryan is still deep in a coma. It's all been very upsetting.'
'I can imagine.' He came over to her and put his arms around her, and Sarah was surprised by how little response she felt towards him. Perhaps he would have kissed her, but she turned her face to one side to avoid the possibility. She didn't want him to get the wrong idea.
Had she really once thought that she might have a future with him? Perhaps it had only been that they were friends, with a similar outlook on life and an easygoing attitude towards each other. Over these last few months she had come to realise that there had been nothing more to their relationship than a comfortable companionship, and that was no way near enough.
A sound from the kitchen door alerted her and made her half turn in that direction. She saw Jamie come bounding into the room from the garden, With Kingston close on his heels.
'Nantie Sarah, can Kingston come with me to the hospital to see Mummy?'
Sarah shook her head. 'I'm sorry, Jamie, but they don't let dogs into hospitals. You could tell Mummy about all the things that Kingston gets up to, though. She would like that.'
Jamie's mouth turned down at the corners. Then he saw that Sarah was not alone, and he looked up at Owen and studied him for a moment. Next to him, the dog stood very still, a warning growl sounding in his throat as he, too, watched Owen.
'Stop it, Kingston,' Sarah admonished him. The dog stood his ground, continuing to growl, but on a lower note this time.
Sarah eased herself away from Owen. 'It must be that he's not used to you,' she said apologetically. 'He won't hurt you, I'm sure.'
Owen didn't look convinced, and Sarah went over to the dog. 'Owen's a friend,' she told him, stroking his head. 'Be nice.'
Kingston put his head on one side, as though he was trying to weigh things up. He gave a final growl, more in grumpiness than anything else, as if to say, Just be warned. There's more where that came from.
Owen moved away from the table and backed up against the kitchen cupboard. 'Perhaps I'll go and talk to your father for a while,' he said.
Sarah nodded. 'All right. I'll come and join you in a minute or two.'
She looked at Jamie. He was trying to filch a cake from the table, and she told him, 'Go and wash your hands first, young man.'
He went off good-naturedly, and the dog settled down by the kitchen door. Sarah frowned. It was strange that he should react that way with Owen. When he had first met Mark he had been more than happy to greet him.
Owen stayed and had tea with them, and when they were finishing off the remains of the fruit pie that she had made he said, 'You know, Sarah, I've been watching you with little Jamie, and it seems to me that you're really good with him. I think you're good with the children at the hospital, too. Haven't you ever thought about going in for paediatrics?'
Jamie had finished his meal, and Sarah had sent him to play with his cars in the dining room. She could see him from the kitchen through the open doorway. 'I've thought about it,' she said. 'I'm not sure—it can be rewarding, working with children, but it can be heartbreaking, too.'
'There's always a down side to being a doctor,' Owen said, 'but I think this would be an ideal career move for you.' He turned to her father. 'Don't you agree?'
'I'm sure that Sarah would be good at whatever she chooses to do,' her father said. 'She puts her best into everything. I think it's probably too early for her to decide just yet. She still has to finish her stint in A and E.'
Owen shook his head. 'It might seem as though there's plenty of time for her to make up her mind, but these things often have to be sorted out in advance, and I think it's always wise to seize opportunities when they arrive.' He hesitated, glancing at Sarah. 'There's a vacancy coming up at my hospital fairly soon,' he said. 'They're looking for a recently qualified doctor to take up a paediatric posting, and I'm fairly sure that you would make the grade, if you wanted to apply for it. You did really well in your paediatric placement at this hospital, didn't you?'
Sarah frowned. 'I suppose I did, but I'm not sure what I want to do at the moment. With Hannah and Ryan being in such a bad way, I'm finding it hard to think about anything too deeply.'
'I understand that, but you don't have to decide right away,' Owen countered. 'I could put a word in for you, though. If you want to work with children, I'm sure something can be arranged, and it would be great to have you working alongside me again. I'd like you to come with me.'