Unknown (Unknown Series Book 1) (35 page)

The Texan eyed the rifle in Rylen’s hand. “Shoot some rabbits and I’ll skin ’em.”

Rylen tipped his chin down. “Deal.”

“We can’t shoot the gun,” I said. “Someone will hear.”

“We’re miles from them,” Texas Harry assured me. “And we’ve been scouting this area for nearly thirty-six hours. Not a soul out here but us.”

Still, I was nervous. Being anxious had become a way of life now, and it sucked.

R
emy and I sat in the tent while the guys roasted two bunnies over the smoking fire. I didn’t expect rabbits to smell so good, but they did.

“I’m sorry I keep freaking out,” Remy whispered.

“I love it that you’re an optimist,” I told her. “And I hope you’re right. But you know I’m a cynic by nature, and after everything I’ve seen . . . it just doesn’t add up for me.”

She picked at her old nail polish, flecks of teal falling off.

“What about these guys?” she whispered. “Do you trust them?”

“Yeah, I think they’re legit. Do you?”

She nodded. “I feel like an idiot for spazzing in front of them. Not exactly a great first impression.”

“Their first impression was you naked. I’d say it was probably pretty great.”

She covered her mouth against an embarrassed smile. “I can’t believe they were watching.”

“I know.” I shook my head. “Let’s just go out there. It’ll blow over. We need to stick together and play nice.”

She huffed a sigh, and we stood up. The tops of our heads skimmed the low tent ceiling. I unzipped the opening, and we climbed out. The guys regarded us and went back to their low conversations. But Rylen wouldn’t look my way.

“Food’s almost ready,” Tater said.

I gave him a smile. “Thanks.” Remy and I went over and sat beside him on some rocks.

The six military guys had quite a few belongings, which they’d hidden before they approached us at the water earlier. They had some food and sleeping bags from what I could see of their giant green rucksacks.

When lunch was ready, we all ate rabbit with our fingers, then passed around a pot and raised it to our lips for mouthfuls of warm kidney beans. Ugh. Gross. But it did the trick. We could hardly complain when our stomachs were full.

The shortest, stocky Army guy, Matt, stood up and stretched his barrel chest. “I’m gonna go jump in that water down there.”

“That sounds hella nice,” the tall, skinny Army guy said. I think his name was Mark.

Texas Harry slapped Mark on the back of the head. “What I’d tell you ‘bout that Cali-hella shit?”

Mark laughed. “Don’t hate, cowboy.”

The new guys made me wonder if there weren’t groups like this of displaced military personnel all over the country. I wished there was a way to get us all together and figure this mess out. It was all so strange, so mysterious. No matter which way I looked at the events of the past month, I couldn’t figure it all out. All I knew was that something wasn’t right.

All six of the men grabbed their towels and ran down the mountainous path. From afar we saw them strip down and jump in the clear water. Tater went in the tent to grab a catnap, leaving Rylen sitting alone on a rock near the fire.

“They’re going to disturb the algae that feeds the pupfish,” Remy whispered to me.

I almost laughed. I was really relieved she hadn’t said that in front of the guys. “New algae will grow.”

“I guess.” She sighed. “I’m going to do some yoga. Want to come?”

“Um, no,” I told her. “But thanks. You enjoy.”

I thought about disappearing to the tent so Rylen wouldn’t feel awkward, but we needed to get this convo over with. So I made my way over and sat quietly beside him on the rocks. He fiddled with a twig between his fingers.

After a long while he asked, “You don’t do yoga?”

I gave a laugh. “No. You?”

“Hell no.”

We watched the guys climb onto the rocks and jump in. From afar I saw five various shades of white asses and one brown one.

“Look, Pepper—”

“What do you think of those guys?” I asked.

He paused. “Typical military dudes. They’re solid.”

“I think so too.” His eyes burned into me. I cleared my throat and reluctantly turned to melt into the regretful look in his eyes.

“I’m sorry about last night.”

I shook my head. “We were asleep. I don’t even . . .” I waved a hand like I barely remembered. His face remained fiercely remorse as he studied me. He must have been satisfied that I wasn’t mad because he finally looked away.

“It won’t happen again,” he whispered. My stomach sank with disappointment that I should not have felt.

A cloud passed over. I grabbed my arms, shivering. “Are you worried about her? About Liv?”

He picked up another stick and tossed it on the fire. “I know she’ll be fine as long as she has your parents and grandma, but I worry what the Drips and Derps are up to. I wonder what they’ll do to everyone. That’s the part I can’t stop thinking about.”

“Me too.” I held my hands out to the fire. “What do you think today’s date is?”

He shook his head. We tried to calculate, starting from Thanksgiving when we lost power. So many of the days melded together.

“Damn,” Rylen said. “It’s almost Christmas.”

Sadness engulfed me at the realization that our holiday traditions wouldn’t be happening this year. Our family might not even be together. Grandpa and Len were gone. This was all so unbelievably wrong. Rylen’s eyes were unfocused as he stared at the fire. I stared at his profile. Every line of his unshaven face. Every muscle that flexed from his forearms up to his biceps as his fingers fisted and unfisted. If he were mine, I would touch him. I would reach out to comfort him. I would turn his face to mine and kiss him while we had this moment alone. For a few moments we could forget about our worries and lose ourselves in each other’s touch. I would give him anything he wanted.

I looked away.

The chasm growing inside of me was too deep. I feared nothing could ever fill it. I feared I would always feel this emptiness, my losses echoing inside an endless canyon.

Rylen’s mind seemed to clear, and he turned to me, his eyes the same color as our winter sky, a cloudy blue, swirling with unspoken thoughts and emotion.

“Do you have any regrets, Pepper?”

Feelings burned up my neck and into the back of my eyes. “Just one,” I whispered.
I should have told you.

“Yeah, me too.” His eyes speared me. “Just one.” Then he looked at the fire again.

I turned my burning gaze to the fire too. My chest and neck were so tight I would snap if I breathed too deeply.

I expected him to drop it, but he didn’t. He poked the fire with a stick and said, “Remember that time me and Tater came home drunk from that party and you were on the tire swing?”

It’d been a long time since my stomach did the truffle-shuffle. I could hardly force a response as I recalled that night. “Yeah?”

“I almost…” He let out an embarrassed laugh. “I almost kissed you.” He shook his head. “I thought you were going to punch me—”

“What? That’s not what happened.
I
was the one who almost kissed
you
.”

He turned to me, his eyes narrowed. “No—”

“Um, yes.”

“I remember the look on your face, Pepper. You were pissed.”

I let out a frustrated sound of exasperation. “I was mad at Tater! Remember I grabbed your shirt,” I grasped the fabric at his chest to reenact, “and pulled you?” I tugged him close.

Our eyes suddenly stuck like glue, our breathing hitching and accelerating in tune as we remembered how close we’d come then and how close our faces were now.

“That’s not how I remember it,” he whispered.

“I was the sober one,” I whispered back. “I remember every detail.”

His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed. I let go and turned my head back to the fire, feeling wrecked with regret. How could we both remember that moment so differently? “It doesn’t matter now, Ry. It’s in the past.”

From the corner of my eye I saw him run a hand across his scruffy face, up over his hair and down to his ear where he pinched his lobe in his fingers. It took forever for my pulse to settle.

Time passed in a bubble of tense silence until Remy and the guys came back, and Tater trudged out of the tent. I plastered on a fake smile, glad for the distractions from my thoughts. I avoided Ry’s eyes for a while and tried really hard not to think about it.

The new guys looked fresh and clean with wet hair and towels flung over their shoulders. They hadn’t bothered to put shirts back on, despite temps I thought were way too cold for that. They were a fit bunch of guys. New York Josh winked at Remy and she gave him the scowl she used to reserve for Tater. He chuckled to himself.

Rylen stoked the fire, and we all gathered around.

“Let’s plan,” Texas Harry said.

“Do any of you have binoculars?” Tater asked.

“Roger that,” said Matt.

“
Yessss
,” Tater hissed. “That’s what we need. We couldn’t make out any details inside the camp this morning. Let’s go back tonight after dusk and check it out again. We have to park and hike. Who’s in?”

Everyone raised their hand but Remy. She looked around and blushed. “I’ll hold down the fort here. I’ll just be in the way if I come.”

“I’ll stay here with you,” I said to make her feel better, but I immediately kicked myself. Damn it. I’d really wanted to go. The grateful look on her face made me glad I’d offered to stay, though. She’d be too freaked out here alone.

“We’ll need to take both vehicles,” Rylen said. “Do you guys have a car? I’d rather not leave the girls without emergency transportation.”

New York Josh slapped the marine, Devon, on the shoulder. “We’ve got big D’s grocery getter.”

Everyone laughed as Devon glared at Josh. “Don’t be talking shit about my mama’s van.”

I had to laugh now. “Are you guys driving around in a minivan?”

Devon raised his chin. “That thing will outlast all y’alls cars. I guaren-damn-tee it.” The thought of six big military men cramming in a minivan was just too funny.

Once everything was settled, we went down and got the other tent. One of the guys had a smaller tent in his pack, too, and a tarp for the others to sleep under the stars in their sleeping bags.

“Hope you don’t wake up with a snake in your sleeping bag,” Remy told them.

Texas Harry raised an eyebrow. “D sleeps with a big ole snake in his bag every night.”

The guys practically fell over each other laughing. Devon’s chuckle was deep. Remy put a hand on her hip and said to the Texan, “Well, I hope it slithers over and bites your ass.”

He pulled a face. “His snake don’t like me. But you probably better watch your pretty little one.”

Tater waved a hand. “Big D better keep his damn snake outta my tent.”

Devon threw his head back, showing rows of gorgeous white teeth. “Ya’ll can quit worrying ‘bout my snake. I got him trained like a trick pony.”

Rylen sputtered on the drink he was taking from his bottle of water and another round of raucous laughter rose up.

The guys went back and forth, sparing words, one-upping each other until all of our stomachs hurt. The humor was cathartic. Our group seemed to emit a newly charged sense of energy and urgency. Because
this
was life. Laughter, love, friendships. We had a way of life to protect. We weren’t perfect by any means, but we were
good
. And we sure as hell weren’t giving it up without a fight.

I
t felt like they were gone forever. We stamped out the fire when it got dark, not wanting to attract attention from afar. Though we were well protected by mountains, I wasn’t taking any chances. Remy and I bundled in our sweatshirts and went in our tent. We lay back in the darkness and stared up.

“You know,” Remy said. “As much of a jerk as that guy Josh is, he’s kind of cute, isn’t he?”

“I guess they all kind of are, in different ways.”

“Well, they’re all giving off major vibes toward you. Except Sean,” Remy said matter-of-factly, “he’s gay.”

“You think so?”

“My gaydar is blaring.”

I thought of the quiet, freckled officer with perfect posture. He was a couple inches taller than me, but short by male standards. Probably the most cut of all the guys, like, super low body fat. And, yeah, he took good care of his auburn locks. Remy could be right. He was the only one who didn’t ogle her boobs or make crass jokes though he’d shared in the laughter.