Unlikely Lovers (16 page)

But he hadn’t called her
and although she’d been tempted to check on him a few times, she kept her word that she wouldn’t.

The weeks flew by. Andy
got a job offer when he went up for his interview and would be moving to Kansas soon. Missy and Andy were moving on with their lives together while she and Cody were moving on apart.

It was one morning after a mini-vacation to visit her family in Vancouver, Jessica realized something was definitely wrong.
She ran to the table and pulled a small pocket calendar out of her purse and looked at it.
It can’t
be!
She looked again and there was no mistake
.
She was six weeks late. She thought back to the last time they were together and groaned. It was the Friday night he’d been drunk and they’d been so desperately hungry for each other that he hadn’t used protection the first time he’d taken her that night. Pacing the floor, she picked up the phone several times to dial Cody’s number and hung up each time.
He told me once he’d be happy if I were pregnant. Would he still feel that
way now?

Finally, she was calm enough to
call Missy. When Missy answered, she blurted out, “Missy, what the hell am I going to do?”

“What in the world has happened now, Jess? Have you seen Cody again?”

“No, I just got back from Mom’s and suddenly realized I’m six weeks late. Missy, how could this happen to me, now?”

“I think you know how it happened, Jess, but aren’t you on the pill?”

“No, the doctor took me off them some time ago. Cody always used protection when we were together.”

“When was the last time you were with him?”

“Eight weeks ago, it was the night I ran into Andy at the mall and he told me about Cody’s drinking. I went over there as you know and he was drunk. He didn’t use a condom the first time we did it that night.”

“What do you mean, the first time? How many damn times did you do it?”

“What does it matter how many times we did it if one of those times he didn’t use protection? It only takes one time, Missy.”

Missy sighed
. “Are you going to tell him?”

“I don’t know.”

“Aren’t we jumping the gun here anyway? Didn’t you say you just realized you were late? Have you even taken a pregnancy test?”

“No, I haven’t.”

“Then calm down and go to the pharmacy. Get the test and take it before you do anything else. Call me when you know.”

“You’re right. I’ll do that right now and call you back.”

She hung up, grabbed her purse and flew out the door. She drove to a pharmacy off post.
I can’t risk someone I know spotting me buying a pregnancy test.

She hurriedly made her purchase and drove home, taking the shortest route possible. She waited in the living room, pacing as she watched the clock. When it was time to read the results, she walked into the bathroom. Picking up the little white stick, she looked at it and sighed. She walked back into the living room and sat down on the couch. She looked at the stick again to be sure she had read it correctly. When she was sure she had, she sat back against the cushions
.

She picked up the phone and dialed.

Missy answered on the first ring. “Jess?”

“It was negative.”

“Are you okay, sweetie?”

“I have mixed emotions, Missy. The timing isn’t the best, but believe it or not, I don’t think it would have been the end of the world if
I’d been pregnant.”

“Are you going to tell Cody?”

“What would I say?
Hey big guy, guess what, you almost became a daddy, want to try and make it happen for real?
Somehow, Missy, I don’t think that would go over so well right now.”

“You never know, this might have been the thing to bring the two of you closer.”

“As always, thanks for the support. I’d better go and get unpacked.”

“Take care, Jess.
Maybe you’d better see your doctor, though. There may be something else wrong.”

“Probably all the stress I’ve been under, but I will.”

She made an appointment the next morning with her gynecologist. The doctor ran several tests and when the results were in, she reassured her that everything was fine.

“I believe
you’re right, Jessica, about the stress. From what you’ve told me, you haven’t been eating or sleeping well for several months. You’ve been through an emotional wringer. I’ll prescribe some meds to start your cycle. It will take a few months, but you should get back to a regular cycle by then.” She wrote out the prescription and handed it to Jessica. “Jessica, please take care of yourself. Have you considered counseling?”

“No, I think I’ll be okay. But if the depression doesn’t get better,
I’ll think about it. This scare is enough to make me realize I need to take better care of myself.”

“I hope so. Let me see you back here in two months for a follow up. Good luck.” The doctor stood, shook Jessica’s hand and left the room.

The guys from the plant were going out after work to Zone’s for Andy’s going away party.
Andy worried about Cody going to the bar, but he insisted he would be fine.

True to his word, he ordered a Coke and only stayed a short time before excusing himself to go home to his empty apartment.  When he got home, he sat down on the sectional where he and Jess
ie had made love many times in the past and called her. He had sworn he wouldn’t but he did it anyway.

“Hello
?”

“Jess
ie, it’s me.” Dead silence greeted him. “Jessie, are you there?”

“Yes, I’m here. How are you?”
It sounded like she was doing laundry as he could hear her dryer start churning.

“Better than the last time you saw me. I’ve quit drinking, Jess
ie.”

“That’s wonderful, Cody. I’m so glad.”

“Jessie, I know I shouldn’t do this, but would you like to go out with me this weekend? On a date?”

“You know I
’d love more than anything in this world to go out with you, but we can’t start over from scratch like that, like nothing happened between us. I wouldn’t be able to keep my hands off you. You know that.”

“Jessie, I miss you.”

“And I miss you.”

“Why won’t you come over and see me?”

“Are you ready to talk?”

“Jess
ie, it never gets us anywhere to talk, you know that.”

“We need to stay away from each other then.”

“Yeah, good luck with that.”

“Cody, don’t tempt me…you know how weak I am when it comes to you.”

“Like I’m not?  I gave up the booze. I can’t give you up too.”

“Fine, I’ll be there. I’d rather have you ravishing me than drinking.”

“No, Jess
ie. I wasn’t trying to guilt you into anything…I just miss you.”

“I’m coming over.”

“Hi, baby. Thanks for coming over,” he said a few minutes later as he opened the door and stepped aside to let her in.

They sat on the couch and talked. They talked about Andy and Missy, about work and about her visit with her mother. They even talked about the weather. They talked about everything but the subject most important to them both, their future. They were both avoiding it like the plague. He told her about his AA meetings.

“You know as part of my therapy, I’m supposed to tell the people in my life that I hurt, I’m sorry. Jessie, you are the number one person in my life I’ve hurt and I want you to know how sorry I am. I’ll regret for the rest of my life my abominable behavior that night it all fell apart.”

“Oh, my sweet Cody, I forgave you for that a long time ago.”

“And I forgive you,” he said softly as he looked into her deep green eyes.

“Does this mean
you’re ready to move forward?” she asked hopefully.

“Baby, I still have a long way to go.”

“I can help you.” She reached up and caressed his cheek.

He took her hand in
his. “When I come back to you…I have to be complete. I have to be whole. I have to be clean and sober.”

“But I thought you were.”

“I haven’t had a drink since that last night we were together, but you see what happened tonight.”

“I’m not following.”

“The guys went to Zone’s after work to wish Andy well. His last day at Goodyear was today. I had a Coke and came home. I called you so I wouldn’t take a drink, Jessie.”

“I see.” She walked over and sat on his lap. She gave him a gentle kiss. “But don’t you see? You called me instead of drinking. Isn’t that good?”

“But I’m doing exactly what I accused you of, using you and trading one obsession for another.”

“I don’t see it that way.”

“I want you so much right now, baby.” He gently pulled her closer to him.

“Let’s go to bed, then.”

“No, I refuse to use you, ever again. I love you too much.”

“We’ll get through this. I know we will. We lo
ve each other too much.”

“Have you gotten your walking papers yet?”

“I was notified the other day my transfer’s been delayed again. There’s a project here they want me to stay for.”

“That’s great, isn’t it?”

“It would be if we were together. We’re wasting so much precious time, Cody.” She looked at him with great sadness in her eyes.

“And for that, I’m sorry.”

“Can’t we just go back to the way we were? At least we wouldn’t be lonely.”

“And that would be enough for you?”

“I’ve told you before, I’ll take you anyway I can get you…”

“
You’re my pretty lady.”

“It’s torture sitting here on your lap, running my fingers through your hair and not being able to feel your body next to mine.”

“No, Jessie. I’d feel like I was using you.”

“Do you hear me complaining?”
she asked as she leaned down to kiss him.

“Jess
ie…don’t tempt me.” He pulled away.

“I’m going home,” she threatened.

“That’s blackmail.”

“Girl’s got to do what a girl’
s got to do,” she teased as she kissed his forehead then each cheek, finally finding his lips.

“You’re impossible
,” he replied as he gently caressed her arm.

“Your point is?”

“Shut up and come here.” He pulled her to him and kissed her, releasing all the emotion that had been building within him for weeks.

T
hey fell to the floor together, both lost in the mystery that was Cody and Jessica.

“Are you sure, baby?”
he asked as he looked into her eyes once more.

“I was sure the minute I pulled in the driveway.”

“Jessie…you’re my weakness…my obsession.”

“And you are mine, my sweet Cody.”

No more words were spoken after that. There was no need. They were lost in each other once again as they’d been so many times before.

“Cody?” she asked later as they were getting dressed.

“Yes, baby?”

“Have you ever thought about having kids?”

“Jessie, you’re not…?” He looked at her questioningly. That last time they were together, he’d been drinking and hadn’t used protection. He’d realized that later but since he hadn’t heard from her had assumed it was all right.

“I’m not pregnant. I had a scare after the last time we were together, but I think it must have been stress causing the symptoms. I took a pregnancy test and it was negative. It got me thinking though. I never really thought about it before.”

“I think we’d make beautiful babies, Jessie, but not right now. The timing isn’t right, so I guess it’s a blessing you weren’t pregnant. I’m glad you told me about it though.”

“There’s hope for us, isn’t there?”

“Someday, maybe,” he answered, not daring to hope.

“I can’t keep coming over here, being with you and getting my hopes up. It’s too hard for me afterward.”

“A few minutes ago, you were willing to go back to fun and games.”

“That was before we tried it. I know now I can’t go back. If we get back
together, it has to be for keeps. We’ve gone way past fun and games, Cody.”

“Okay, Jess
ie,” he answered her sadly, knowing she was right.

“Goodbye, Cody. I love you.
”

“And I love you
.”

Once again, I’m letting her walk out of my life. How many times will she do it before it is really the last? Why can’t I commit to her?

The rest of the summer
passed by quickly and this time Jessica stuck to her vow to stay away from Cody. He hadn’t tried to call and with Andy in Kansas, she had no way of knowing if he was drinking again or not.