“Same way on campus,” Kevin added. “Some students say she’s cold, but once they get to know her, they like her. She gets four and five stars on the
Rate Your Professor
website.”
“Out of how many possible stars are we talkin’ here?” Rocky asked.
“Five.”
“OK, just checking.”
Shade recalled the look on her face in the circle when he’d inadvertently challenged her. “I don’t think she’s too happy with me this morning, anyway. Like I said, we’ll see.”
“Aw, she’ll lighten up,” Max assured him. “She’s actually pretty funny. You’ll see today when we go out to lunch after church.”
“I can’t make it today.”
“Serious? This is your first Sunday. We were gonna buy you lunch.”
“I had something come up.”
“Next week, then.”
Rocky handed the box back to Kevin. “Hey, while we’re all here I need to ask you guys to pray about something.”
There was a sudden change in the men’s demeanor. Like the good friends they were, Max and Kevin trashed the box and turned their full attention to Rocky.
Shade was honored to be included. Having come from a place where everyone wanted to be his friend only to party with the band, he was genuinely moved to experience true camaraderie—and a connection he hadn’t felt since Pete died.
“What’s up, Rock?”
“I’ve been contacted by a counselor at a Christian youth camp. He wants me to come and talk about my injury, my recovery, my faith, and all that. He says the kids need to hear from Christian men with challenges. He says I’m a role model. Can you believe that?”
Max huffed out a breath. “What’s there to pray about? This is a no-brainer. You have to do it.”
“I can’t do it. I’m no public speaker. I’d forget to set my brake and roll off the stage or something embarrassing like that.”
“You’re shortchanging yourself, Rock. You know you’re a comedian at heart. You’ll have those kids in the palm of your hand. And you have a great testimony.”
“When would you do it?” Shade asked.
“He said I could pick my day and time.”
“That’s good. Your work hours are flexible, right?”
“Yeah.”
“Are they going to pay you?” Kevin’s question, of course.
“I think so. And he also said that over the summer new campers start every Sunday, so he’d want me to come at least once a week.”
“Aw, man, you gotta do it. Just think of all the people you’ll reach. And this could lead to speaking gigs all over the place. Church youth groups, stuff like that.”
“Don’t get ahead of the guy in the wheelchair, OK? I don’t know yet. Just pray. And don’t tell anyone, because I don’t know if it’s going to work out.”
“Sure, buddy.”
Shade felt a bubble of anxiety form in his gut. He needed prayer, too. Did he dare ask them for it?
“Uh...I have a request, also.”
“Now’s the time,” Max answered. “Whaddaya got?”
“You guys kinda know where I come from, right? You know how the band ended, and about my accident?”
They exchanged glances and didn’t immediately speak. Kevin began to study the ends of his tennis shoes rather than look Shade in the eye.
“We think we know,” Rocky said. “We figured you were here for a reason and decided we wouldn’t press you on any of that. It’s your business.”
“Yeah,” Max added. “We all followed the band. We know you were in a car accident with Pete and he died. We know you were in pretty bad shape.”
He wasn’t a bit surprised Max knew about Pete. Pete was the drummer all other drummers wanted to be. And he was sure whatever they didn’t know, they’d gone home to look up after they first met. Though the band’s official website had been removed following Pete’s death and the collapse of the band, there were a multitude of blogs, reviews, interviews and news reports about Dead Lizard Highway. Some of it wasn’t so flattering.
“I was in bad shape. I had to deal with the physical injuries, the grief, my problems with alcohol. But that’s not what I need prayer about.”
They exchanged glances again.
“So, what do you need?” Rocky asked.
“While I was still in the hospital, I found out my girlfriend was pregnant. My daughter was born in late October. She’s six-months-old. I’ve never met her, but her mother said I could meet her today.”
Shade took a deep breath as the burden that had him bent almost to the ground lifted from his shoulders. Now he understood about sharing needs with fellow believers and asking for help. He felt better, already.
But the heavy dose of his reality seemed to sit in the guys’ laps like a six-hundred-pound gorilla.
“Wow,” Rocky said. “Forget my request. Let’s just pray for Shade.”
“Dude.” Kevin smirked and rolled his eyes. “I think God can handle them both.”
Max shot them his “stop-being-morons” look and put his hand on Shade’s upper arm. He stepped closer. “What about the baby’s mother? Are you...I mean...are you trying to put your family back together?”
“No, she’s moved on. Waaaay on. She married a guy from around here. They live over there in Oak Manor.”
“That’s why you came back here,” Kevin observed.
“Yep. I got well, I got sober, and I came home to start fresh and be a part of my daughter’s life.”
“And the new husband? He’s OK with this?”
“I think Jess, that’s the mother’s name, made it clear from the beginning she wanted to leave that door open for me. I don’t know. We’d been talking on the phone trying to work out some boundaries and all of a sudden I get a phone call this morning that I should just come over for lunch after church and we’ll all talk. It’s crazy.”
“Sounds like God is already working.”
“What’s the baby’s name?” Kevin asked.
“Rachel.”
“And you’re sure you’re the father?”
Rocky’s arm flew out like a soccer mom in a minivan and punched him in the arm. “Really, Kevin? Was that necessary?”
“
Oouuch
!” He rubbed his shoulder. “He’s a rock star, isn’t he?”
“Sorry, Shade.” Max scrubbed his hands across his face. “The boy just ain’t right in the head, sometimes.”
Shade laughed. “No worries.”
Max held his hand out and started counting things off on his fingers. “So we’re praying for Rocky to find God’s will about his speaking request, and for Shade’s meeting to go well today, and that he and Rachel’s mother can reach some sort of understanding about visitation and all that. Right?”
“Right,” they all agreed.
“God can do anything,” Rocky said. “Your baby will be makin’ a name for herself in the nursery here in no time.”
“And don’t worry,” Max added. “Despite Kevin’s tendency to blurt out the first thing that comes to his mind, we’ve got your back. No one will hear about this from us.”
“Thanks, but it’s no big secret. I know I’m new here and people here don’t know me that well, but it’s not like I’m trying to hide anything.”
Candi rounded the corner. Shade cleared his throat as she approached to signal the others.
“Sorry,” she said as the tight circle opened up for her. “Didn’t mean to barge in to the boys-only treehouse. I can come back.”
Max grabbed her arm. “Get over here. What’s up?”
“I need to check with Kelly, but while you’re all here, what do you think of practicing on Mondays for the new youth service?”
Rocky, Max, and Kevin all looked clueless. It was clear they hadn’t given any more thought to the new youth service Pastor Charles ordered. If Candi wasn’t there to keep them organized, Shade suspected the church’s music program would have long ago flown off the rails.
“Never mind. I’ll e-mail you all next week.”
“I can’t do Mondays,” Shade said. “I already have a commitment that night.”
“Oh. OK. We’ll work something out. Umm...Shade, can I have a minute?”
He pushed away from the wall. “Sure.”
He ignored Kevin’s wiggling eyebrows and Max’s kissing noises as he walked away. He didn’t want to know what Rocky was doing.
“We’re gonna go ahead and take care of that prayer,” Max called after him.
“Thanks, guys.”
They stepped into a room nearby. Candi walked to the middle with her head held high and her arms stiff at her sides. It was like General Patton in a little pink suit. Yes, she was a stunner in her perfect clothes and perfect hair, but he’d take the girl from the pond any day of the week.
“I’m sorry if I was out of line this morning,” he started before she could. “Didn’t mean to question you in front of the band.”
“Don’t apologize. Your idea was the right one. It turned out great.” She paused and clasped her hands behind her back. She did Patton better than Patton. “I’m sorry, too.”
His hearing must be going. It was a real possibility after all the blaring speakers he’d sat too close to. “Sorry?”
“Yes.”
“Why are you sorry?”
“It occurred to me after I got all worked up about everything this morning that if I’d just asked your opinion in the first place, I wouldn’t have lost any sleep over it.”
“I’m not following.”
“Pastor Charles believes God sent you here to be a part of this music program. He also thinks I could use some help with it. He might be right. When I got that last minute change, I should’ve just picked up the phone and brainstormed some ideas with you. But I’m not used to having help. I love this group, but they’re not interested in the details. They’re talented, but they just want to show up and worship. They don’t want to plan, or arrange music, or get those last minutes requests.”
“I never said I wanted to do that, either. I’ve told the pastor several times I’m not a worship leader.”
She shrugged and leaned against a table along the wall. “Doesn’t appear to matter. You’ve apparently asked for God’s will in your life, and He’s apparently tossed you into the middle of something here. He had to have been the one, or it wouldn’t be working.”
“Why are you so sure it’s working?”
“You’re here, aren’t you? You keep coming back. You have good ideas. Get used to it. You’re a leader in this group, and you’re about to be a part of the launch of that new youth service. That’s really big.”
Big
? For his own survival, he knew he needed to be a part of something. He never meant for it to be big, or important or anything more than sitting in the same pew in church every week. Yet each time they talked, his role seemed to grow. And while Candi praised him for what he considered a basic idea, the facts became clear. God had thrown him into the middle of something, but he didn’t understand any of it.
He rocked on his heels. “I’ll do what I can to help. I told you that.”
She stood and tugged her jacket back into place. “I appreciate it.”
She brushed past him to make another quick getaway. Seemed she always flitted out of a room before the conversation really ended. Maybe
he
wanted to say something once in a while.
In a moment of pure insanity, he reached for her hand as she flew by. “Hang on a minute.”
To say she looked shocked as she turned around would be an understatement, and while she didn’t pull away as he suspected she would, she didn’t hold on, either.
He let her soft, thin fingers slip from his.
She again clasped her hands behind her back. “Did you need something else?”
“Uh...” He rubbed the back of his neck and glanced at the ceiling. No answers there. “Just wanted to say thanks again for coming out to the pond with me yesterday.”
“Thanks for inviting me.”
His moment of insanity had become permanent. He couldn’t seem to stop himself. He stepped closer, she didn’t step back.
“I like spending time with you, Candi. I think we should do it again.”
She blinked three times as she looked up into his eyes. Her puzzled frown softened into a curious gaze. She tilted her head. “Why?”
Uh-oh.
Leave it to a woman to ask the most ridiculous question at the most ridiculous time. Never had he met one who could leave well enough alone. “Why, what?”
“Why do you like spending time with me?”
He went with the truth. “Because you’re grounded, and that makes me feel grounded.”
The corner of her mouth twitched as she considered his response. This would be a whole lot more comfortable if he had any idea how to read her.
“Thanks,” she said softly. “I like spending time with you, too, Shade.”
He wasn’t about to ask why.
Somehow, he didn’t think she’d be able to tell him anyway.
6
From:
Pastor Charles Littleton
[mailto:[email protected]]
Sent:
Sunday, April 26 1:25 PM
To:
Candi Canaberry [email protected]
CC:
Shade Blackledge <
[email protected]
>
Subject:
Today’s worship
Candi and Shade:
Missed you both after church. Great job this morning. Woody would be proud. Thank you both so much.
Charles
Shade headed for Oak Manor with a severe case of information overload. Facts swirled in his brain like a Gulf Coast hurricane, but nothing seemed to stick for long. There was just too much to remember.
Six-month-old babies put everything in their mouths and play a lot with their own feet. Six-month-old babies can roll over. Six-month-old babies are learning to be social but may be wary of strangers...
That’s the one that got him. He was the last person who should be a stranger, yet he was. It was his fault and that made him sick most days.
He passed
1227 Acorn
Ridge
and turned around to come back and park along the curb. He again prayed for God’s help and guidance and considered the possibilities. Jess was either going to be different or the same. Her husband was either going to be an understanding guy, or not. And baby Rachel was either going to welcome him quietly, or scream like a terrified toddler at a clown convention.
Regardless of how it all played out, there was something he knew for sure. He’d come this far, and wasn’t leaving without a plan to be a part of his daughter’s life.