UnLove Me - The Angels Warriors MC Complete Trilogy Box Set (34 page)

When Vinny leaves the room, I feel terrible. I was so mean. I’ve never been mean to anyone in my life, even if they deserved it. I love him so much it hurts. I just wanted him to feel a shred of what he has put me through. I have never seen him look so torn, but what did he expect? Did he think I would just accept that he made another life with another woman behind my back? Who does that?

The nurse that was in here earlier comes in while I’m feeding Elizabeth, and she gives me a smile. “How is she latching?” she asks.

“Um, fine, I think. I’ve never done this before, but I’m not sure if I like it,” I tell her honestly.

“That’s okay. If it’s not for you, it’s not for you. Don’t worry about it,” she says with a small smile.

She leaves the room but doesn’t close the door all the way. Minutes later, a head pokes in, the head of the woman that destroyed any thoughts of my happily ever after—Kayla.

“Lilly?” she says quietly.

“What do you want?” I ask her, glaring.

“Can I see her, Elizabeth? I love her name. It’s beautiful.” She starts to step into the room.

“I’d prefer if you didn’t come any closer.”

“I’m sorry. It wasn’t supposed to work out like this,” she says, steadying herself against the wall. “Sorry, I had a C-section. They’re making me get up and walk around.”

“Why are you here?”  What reason could she possibly have for thinking I would want to see her of all people right now?

“Our babies are sisters. I... I want them to be close,” she says, sounding hopeful.

I shake my head. “Not going to happen. But why don’t you tell me- were you the other woman, or was I?” I swear, I must be a glutton for punishment, but I have to know. What did she give him that I couldn’t?

“Neither of us were, actually. Vinny and I were only together whenever you two broke up. You got back together, he’d break up with me, and it wasn’t as often as you think. He didn’t always come to me every time you broke up, only if you were broken up for long periods of time,” she says with her head down, looking ashamed. Nope, not going to feel sorry for her.

“How long?” I croak out, really not wanting to hear the answer, but I need it.

“Since I got back from college,” she whispers, knowing how much the truth hurts.

“So, for years,” I say, tears leaking out. “Please leave,” I beg quietly, not wanting to scare my daughter.

She doesn’t say anything more, but looks like she wants to. She just nods her head and goes back out to the hall slowly. She looks as though she is in so much pain, but I have my own heartache to get over. Vinny, God, this whole time he was going between the two of us. The question is, does he love her too? Is that why he always went back to her?

I can’t believe this has been going on for years, and I never knew. But she did. She knew the whole time. I feel stupid. I feel sick.

Vinny and I, well, he can have his family. It will just never be with us. “It’s just you and me, baby girl.”   I kiss the top of Elizabeth’s head and start humming to her as she fusses.

I’m sitting at Momma B’s bakery, waiting for Hilary to show up with my daughter. I didn’t want to meet here, since Elizabeth is only three days old. I should be at the house, not out in public, but Lilly won’t let me inside. She even has Eden and Hilary camped out at all times to enforce it too. Well, at least yesterday she did. When Lilly was ready to leave the hospital, I had planned to bring her home, but she refused to allow me to. Even when I tried to visit her in the hospital, she had instructed the nurses not to allow me in her room.

I see Hilary walk in, carrying my daughter with Glenna trailing behind her.

“Hey, G-Baby,” I say, smiling at her.

She doesn’t smile back. “Hi,” she says without emotion. Glenna is usually excited to see me.

Hilary passes me the baby. “G-baby and I are gonna be over there eating cake. When you are done visiting with Elizabeth, just bring her over,” Hilary says, not looking at me. She sits a diaper bag on the table forcefully, and then she and Glenna turn to head to their table.

“G-Baby?” I call out.

“What?” she says, full of attitude, reminding me so much of Eden. Damn, little girls are a handful.  And I now have two the same age.

“You wanna sit with me?” I ask, hopeful.

She shakes her head no. “I thought you were my friend, Mr. Zip, but you hurt my Auntie Lilly. We’re not friends anymore.”  She walks away and goes to the table with Hilary.

Fuck. That little girl has been my one thing I could always count on over the last few months. Now, I don’t even have her, and that fuckin’ hurts.

“Hey, baby girl,” I coo at Elizabeth.

She looks so much like her mother.  Her little eyes flutter as she looks at me. A sleepy grin stretches across her face. I snuggle her close to my chest and stick her pacifier in her mouth. I kiss the top of her head, and she smells like a mix between that new baby smell and Lilly. It makes my heart squeeze tight in my chest. It’s not supposed to be this way. I see Hilary eyeing me cautiously, probably waiting for me to fuck this up, but this is one thing I will get right. I’ll be a damn good father to both my girls.

I’m so damn exhausted. Elizabeth is constantly hungry and crying to eat. I feel like crying. I can’t do this alone. Vinny should be here with me, helping me. We should be a family right now, but now that isn’t possible. I hate men. Lousy bastards, all of them. You’d think my father would have at least come by to see his granddaughter, but nope- all I got were those flowers he sent me while I was in the hospital.

There is a knock on the door, so I get up off the couch. My only moment of peace has been disturbed. I was about to get a small nap in before Elizabeth wakes up. If I don’t sleep while she does, I won’t get any rest at all. She needs to be fed and changed every two hours—I need a break.

Opening it, I see Vinny is standing there. “What do you want,
Zippo
.” Since his betrayal, I refuse to call him by his name, and it seems my anger hit its mark as he winces at the name.

“I came to talk,” he says.

“You’re not welcome here,” I say, trying to close the door, but he sticks his damn boot in the door so I can’t shut it.

“Lilly, I’m not leaving until we talk,” he says, shoving me in and closing the door behind him.

“We have nothing to say,” I tell him as I turn around and start walking into the living room.

“Yeah, we do,” he says, coming up behind me. It would be so easy to turn and go straight into his arms, but I’m still hurt. I can’t trust him.

“You need to leave. I don’t have much time to clean up before Elizabeth wakes,” I say, skirting around him to pick up the dirty diapers and dirty sleepers from the floor. “It’s too messy,” I say, panicking as I start to frantically tidy up.

“Lilly, calm down,” I hear him say. But I can’t.

The tears come then. I’m sobbing as I’m cleaning the dirty shit. I can’t do this with him here. Everything comes rushing at me like I’m alone in the middle of the tracks, and every thought and feeling I have ever felt for Vincent comes charging toward me like a freight train full steam ahead.

“Lilly!” I hear shouted. I can’t respond. It hurts so damn much.

I sink to the floor, pulling my knees to my chest as I rock back and forth crying.  My chest feels so heavy. I can’t breathe. The weight of all of these emotions is smothering me.

“Lilly-pad, baby, what’s going on?” I hear Vinny say.

“I can’t do this. I can’t do this.” I repeat the words, unable to say more. If I do, I’ll just be hurt further. I can’t take it.

Vinny comes down next to me and pulls me into his arms. “Why don’t you go have a nap or a bath or something? I’ll clean the house and make you some supper.”

“No, I’m okay. I’m just tired, and my hormones are all messed up. I’m fine,” I say, moving out of his arms and standing up. “Why don’t you talk? Since you aren’t leaving, you can say what you want while I clean,” I say, forcing myself to remain calm. I wipe at my eyes with the bottom of my shirt. Vinny hands me a tissue, and I reluctantly take it, not needing or wanting anything from him. Well, he can’t give me what I need or want.

“I want to talk to you about Kayla,” he says firmly.

Hearing her name cuts me all over again. “I really don’t want to hear about her,” I say. The tears try to make another appearance, but I hold them at bay.

“Lilly, please talk to me. Let me explain.”

“Fine, talk,” she says and goes to the couch to sit.

“Shit with Kayla... fuck, I never cheated on you. You have to know that.” I jerk my beanie off, running my fingers through my hair.  I take a seat in the chair across from her. I need her to see things from my side.

“Oh, I know. She told me. Instead of that, you would just go to her place when we had a fight and ‘broke’ up,” she spits out.

“I was with Kayla first,” I tell her, and she stiffens at that. “We dated all throughout high school, but no one knew. Her parents wouldn’t let her date, so we kept it quiet. We broke up because she was going off to college, and I didn’t want the long distance thing. A week later, I finally saw you,” I tell her in all honesty, wanting her to understand how hard this has been for me. She isn’t the only one hurt by this. I hurt Kayla too, and now I have two baby girls to think about.

“You finally saw me? Right. We’ve been friends just as long as you and Eden have been.” She sounds offended.

“I know, but this was different. You were different. Fuck, Lilly, I knew right away I loved you. Kayla came back from college seven years ago, wanted to re-connect. I didn’t, but after our first break up fight, I went to her. Things just happened.” I shouldn’t have started the back and forth thing when I did, but it became a crutch.

“Right, like that makes it all better.” She looks away from me, avoiding my gaze.  It kills me to see her in so much pain. Pain that I caused.

“I never loved Kayla, Lilly.  Only you! It’s always been only you!”  God, I just want her to understand. Can’t she see that she means everything to me?

“Well, it doesn’t matter now. You and her have a child together, and trust me when I say I will never be with a man who has children with someone else. I’m not built that way,” she says. I know I fucked up, but if she can’t accept my child with Kayla, we will never be able to move forward.

“Lilly, please, I want you back. I want us, our family. Even Kayla knows I love you and want you. She agreed to let us have Rose every other weekend. Hell, she’s even dating someone else!”

Lilly shakes her head. “It’s not going to happen, Vinny. We share a daughter, but that’s it. You and me, any chance we had for a relationship, well, it will never happen. You destroyed that,” she says, looking me in the eyes finally.

I hear Elizabeth start to cry. “Shit, I’ll never get anything cleaned,” Lilly says on a cry. Seeing her like this is something I’ve never witnessed. I know she has those baby blues that the doctors all talked about.

When she leaves the room to go get the baby, I pull out my cell and make a call. “Ann, hey, it’s Vincent. I need you to round up a few girls and get them to Lilly’s house. She needs help.”

“What’s wrong?” she asks.

“I think she’s depressed. She just randomly started sobbing for no reason a few times, and I’ve only been here twenty minutes,” I tell her.

“Okay, I’ll be there soon. Thank you,” she says softly and hangs up.

If she won’t let me help her, at least her mom can.