UnLove Me - The Angels Warriors MC Complete Trilogy Box Set (60 page)

Part One

Five Years later

Letting Hilary go was one of the hardest things I have ever dealt with. I never knew what being brave really was until those machines were turned off and she was truly gone. For a long time, I blamed myself—all of the wrongs I had done. I felt like losing Hilary was my punishment.

I went to the side of her bed, just watching her and praying to God to please bring her back to me. I couldn’t lose her. I had so much to make up for, the years I was an asshole. I never fully apologized for my darkest days of when I put my hands on her and when I cheated. I needed her to survive this. I needed to make up to her for everything.

I didn’t care what the doctors said. She needed to pull out of this. “Mason,” I heard Eden say quietly from behind me.

“What?” I said gruffly. Part of me blames Eden for all of this too- all the lies and the secrets. If she hadn’t been so damn selfish, Hilary could still be alive right then.

“It’s been two months since Hunter was born,” she started softly. “She had Lilly’s father do up her Will years ago. It’s time to let her go. She doesn’t want this.”

I stood up and faced Eden. “This is half your fault too.” I growled at her. Eden hung her head down in shame; I knew she felt guilty, and I really shouldn’t have blamed it all on her. “I can’t lose her, Eden. I did so much shit, so much shit that I’m so damn sorry for, and if she dies before I can make it right with her, I’ll always have that guilt,” I said, breaking down.

Eden rushed over and pulled me into her arms. “She forgives you, Mason. I promise you that! She knows how sorry you are.” I felt Eden’s tears soak into my shirt as she hugged me.

“You’re right,” I said, choking back a sob.

Eden stiffened in my arms and then let out a relieved sigh. “Your son needs you, Mason. You need to be there for him.”

“I will. I’ll be the best damn father! I’ll make it up to Hilary by being good to our son,” I vowed.

Eden left the room to go and gather everyone. Everyone took their time to say goodbye to Hilary, and Henry came forward and knelt at the side of the bed.

“I’m sorry for being such a crap father. I always loved you, Hilary. I never wanted you to suffer for my mistakes. I’m sure everyone in this room is feeling guilt of some sort, with you being in this position. You’re leaving this earth now, baby girl. I’ll always love you. Forever. I swear, my promise to you, Hunter will grow up always knowing about your beauty, inside and out. I’ll never let Mason forget you. Your mother, I’m sorry you had to bear witness to the hurt there. I will make it right.” He let out a small cry and stood up, placing a kiss on her forehead. “I love you, Hilary. Always.”

Mona was sobbing, and Henry walked over to her, holding her tightly as the doctor came in and looked around sadly at us all, and shut the machines off. For a few minutes, we all stood by, hoping that maybe she’d come out of the coma, that maybe she’d live after all, despite what the doctors said. But it didn’t happen. Thirty minutes later, it was over. Everyone in the room was a mess. She was gone. My wife, the love of my life was gone.

Her funeral was devastating, but at the same time, it was the closure I needed to let her go. I had her buried in red satin—that was her favorite.  By some miracle, Hilary left me with the best part of her—our son, Hunter. His birth was the eye opener for me. My life really hit a turning point.

I was able to finally forgive myself, which wasn’t an easy thing to do. Don’t get me wrong- I’m still very much an asshole. Sometimes I think I can still feel Hilary with me. Fuck, maybe she is. I hope she would be proud of me and the way I’ve turned my life around for the better.  I also hope she would be happy with my choice in a wife. Letting Moira in was hard, and at times I pushed her even further away because she reminded me of Hilary in some ways. But they are so different too.

It took a long time to admit that I had feelings for Moira. One thing she never let me do was keep Hilary locked away. She spoke of her often, finding her diaries and listening to the women talk about her. She kept Hilary alive in our home. She also told stories about Hilary to my son. Of course, all the stories were of what she heard from Eden and Lilly.

Moira and I have two other children, Grayson and Olivia. I give Zippo shit all the time. I tell him that one day Rose and Elizabeth will be fighting over Hunter. He doesn’t find that nearly as funny as I do. Who would have thought- me, the biggest prick on the planet, would have so much love to give.

I thank Hilary for that. She showed me how to love. And through everything, she gave me more love than she will ever know.  She gave me the courage and strength I needed to un-break this heart.

Part Two

Cleaning up after supper, I move to the living room and watch Vinny playing with our girls. God, he’s beautiful. Sometimes, it’s hard looking at Rose, because she looks so much like Kayla. But at the same time, I love knowing that she’ll be brought up in a loving home and not a split one. One day, we’ll have to tell the girls the truth that they are half-sisters, and that will open the flood gates for all sorts of things, but we’ll deal with it as it happens. Everywhere we take them, people always assume they are twins. They both share Vinny’s dark hair and his nose. And, God help me, they both love to wear hats.

We ended up giving Kayla a small funeral; it was the least we could do for her. Although it wasn’t a happy day, we made sure to make the funeral a lively one. At least, it was until her parents showed up with Vinny’s mom and tried causing problems, blaming me and saying it was all my fault, then started in on Vinny for it all too.

Vinny’s mother hasn’t been back around since that day, and once Kayla’s parents heard our side of the story, they came around. At first, they wanted nothing to do with Vinny because of how he treated Kayla for all those years, but now we’re all close. They even have Elizabeth calling them Grampa and Gramma.

I walk upstairs to get a bath ready for them and stop in front of my wedding picture. Vinny and I finally married four years ago; it wasn’t anything fancy, just a court house marriage. We wasted enough time fighting with each other, so we did it fast. He planned for us to get married the next day, after the kidnapping, but Hilary’s shooting caused us to delay. I wanted to wait, in hopes that Hilary pulled out okay, but she never did. About two months after the machines were pulled on her, we finally tied the knot.

After the guys saved us from the shit we were in, we wasted no time in getting back together. We still work hard at it every day; sometimes I still throw the Kayla stuff in his face because it still hurts. But life is short. Being in that situation that I was in with Eden and Hilary puts things into perspective.  But in the end, I love my life and our family. Everything worked out as it should.

Then I think about Hilary, and how we lost her. Once we were all safe, telling the guys about Trent was forgotten, and both Eden and I feel guilty about that because if we had said something, maybe she’d still be alive. Losing Hilary was one of the hardest things I’ve ever been through. She was my rock, other than Eden. I’m still very tight with Eden; we see each other almost daily. I couldn’t imagine my life any other way, except with Hilary in it. She would have been the best mom.

The only somewhat of a good thing that came out of this in the end, is how Mason changed. He devoted his whole world, his whole life, to their son, Hunter. He eventually was able to move on with Moira, the nurse that worked in the NICU.

The girl was different from Hilary, but at the same time, a lot like her too. She had a mix of myself and Hilary in her, and it was an even balance. Mason and Vinny have grown closer. The two always have me laughing. When the two of them are together, they are worse than school girls—always giving each other shit.

Vinny and I never had any more children. The way Eden kept popping them out, and then Mason having a few more, I was happy with just having babysitting duties. My two little girls were more than enough for me.

Vinny comes into the bathroom with our screaming little monkeys and helps me get them in the tub. He really is the best dad. He wraps his arms around me as they splish and splash, washing their dolls’ hair instead of their own. “Damn, I’m a lucky man.”

“Yes, you are.” I kiss his cheek. I can’t wait to get the girls to bed and get some alone time in.  And in case you were wondering, the beanie was retired, but Vinny being Vinny, he soon replaced it with another one.

Part Three

True to Jasper’s word, we got married. It wasn’t as soon as he had planned, but it did happen. We ended up having a small wedding in my backyard, with just close friends and family about three months after the kidnapping. A week after that, Jasper made an appointment with a local doctor, and I was scheduled to get the clamps out.

Jasper and I had struggled over the Monica issue for a few weeks after all was safe, mainly because he wanted a funeral for her. I was upset; why couldn’t he leave that up to her family to do? I didn’t get it. But once I had a talk with Lilly, since she and Vinny just had a funeral for Kayla, I gave in. I figured if it made Jasper happy, then let’s do it. It was hard for me being there while both Jasper and Lilly spoke about the friendship they built up with Monica over the years. Feelings of betrayal came at me full force, but I had to get rid of those feelings. I wasn’t around, so I couldn’t blame them both for moving on. The way they talked about the changed Monica made me feel like shit. I only knew Monica as Roni’s side kick, a nasty piece of work. I hate that she was brought down in the mess of what we went through; she didn’t deserve to die the way she did.

Over the years, I never had to worry about Jasper still being angry with me about keeping the children from him. There was a period after Hilary’s death that he really broke down, saying that maybe I should have just stayed away with the kids a while longer. The twins took her passing really hard. They loved her so much; she was like a second mom to them. I never got to repay her for taking such good care of my babies, but I have this feeling that she knows how much it meant to me.

We all held some deep guilt over losing Hilary, especially me, but I know she’s up there, watching down on us all, probably scolding us for the guilt we all carry.  She is probably laughing her ass off every time Moira bitches Mason out. She’s been good for him, very good. And she’s become one of us.

I put up more resistance than Mason, though. I tried running her off a few times; it’s not that I didn’t like her- I just hated the thought of Hilary being replaced. But I also knew that little Hunter needed a mother, and Mason finally seemed happy again.

I also know he’s still not over Hilary. He’ll always love her, but seeing him with Moira makes me wonder if Hilary did end up living if they would have been together in the long run. There was too much bad between the two of them.

I hear loud laughter, followed by Jessica and Glenna screaming. “Mom! Hilary got into our make-up!” Jasper and I ended up having two more children. Of course, when we found out we were having a little girl, we named her Hilary. I wanted to have a piece of her with me always.

Our youngest is a boy. We named him Harley. Jasper said he always wanted to name a kid after his bike, and Harley wasn’t too strange of a name, so I gave in.

A year after we lost Hilary, we also lost Mrs. Shepard.

I went over to visit with her one afternoon, noticing she wasn’t in her garden that morning. Walking into her home, I called out for her.

“Mrs. Shepard?” I called out.

I heard nothing in response. That wasn’t the norm, so I walked around the house to see where she was at. When I got to her bedroom, I saw her, lying in bed with a smile on her face, her body already turning a shade of blue.

Running over, I screamed. “No, Mrs. Shepard!” I checked her pulse.

I dialed 911 and was told someone would be there right away. There was nothing I could do for her since she’d already gone, so I called up Jasper and told him the news. He promised to call Lilly and the others to fill them in.

I sat and waited and looked around the house. I saw pictures of my children, myself, and everyone else that I love littered on her walls and dresser. She might have been a firecracker, but I loved her. She was always so good to me and my kids.

The coroner said that Mrs. Shepard died of natural causes, that it was just her time. I like that she died with a smile on her face.

I miss her every day. She was so amazing; she’s also someone I strive to be when I get to be her age.

Glenna now calls Jasper and I Mom and Dad. Not long after we married, we started adoption papers to make it more official, and once that happened, she came to us asking if she could call us Mom and Dad. Of course I cried, and Jasper gruffly said ‘of course’.

And after everything, I deserve this, and as weird as it sounds, everything that happened has shaped us into the loving tight-knit family we are now. The past is behind me; everything with my dad, all of it.  Tomorrow will be bittersweet; it’s my mom’s birthday. Her remains were finally found, buried behind the old warehouse the club used to own. It’s also the day I will let Jasper know we’re about to have another child. We haven’t been trying; we figured since we currently have five kids, we were done, but I swear the man must have super sperm. I can’t wait to see the look on his face when I tell him we’re having another girl. Yay us.

This family, everything, has been a blessing, but I have to say, this is the last of it, because I don’t care how much he fights me, I’m getting fixed for good this time.