When I see that the man in the suit is Ian Daniels, I can’t contain the quick burst of relief. As the lead officer on my case, Ian spent hours in my hospital room, trying to coax the truth from my memories. He told me funny stories about his little girl, who loved Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and no-bake cookies, and he was the first person to make me laugh again. If it has to be anyone, it should, by all rights, be him.
Holden shoots me a questioning look and I give him a quick nod. Even so, my heart beats a little faster as Ian approaches, the lines of deep sorrow clearly etched into his face.
There are different triggers for flashbacks. Don’t let down your guard.
I don’t do that, but I do clench Luke’s hand more tightly. He extends the other to Ian. “Hello.”
“Luke. I wish we were meeting under different circumstances.” Ian inspects his injuries with a practiced eye and gives the gash on Luke’s arm a grim nod. I’m consoled by the fact that he doesn’t seem overly concerned by anything he finds. “Hell, at least you look better than the last time I saw you.”
Even my delusional self knows that Luke looks terrible. I give both of them a sideways glance, but Ian crouches down and turns his attention to me before I can ask him what he means.
“Stella. I’m so sorry it had to end like this. It was the same man? The one who attacked you before?”
I raise my chin. “The same man who killed my brother.”
Ian closes his eyes briefly before his mouth sets in a firm line. “We’ll try our best to get a confession for Jack. We’ll get it, one way or another.”
I know what comes next. Questions. Confusion. I stumble to my feet.
“Let’s get this over with.”
Ian nods towards one of the ambulances. “After the paramedics clear you, we’ll need both of you to come to the station and make a report.”
“No.” Luke shakes his head, and he and Ian exchange a long look that I don’t entirely understand. “You will get the statement here, and then Stella is going home. She’s been through enough.”
I’m grateful for his efforts, but I know how this works. After the endless questions, there will be papers to sign and forms to fill out and more people to speak with, and on and on and on until my head spins and I can’t remember my own name, let alone what happened here.
To my very great surprise, Ian nods in agreement. “Fine. We’ll get your statements on site. After that, you can leave, under the condition that the paramedics determine that you don’t have any serious injuries. Your parents are already on their way, Stella. They can take you home after we’re finished.”
My heart aches. I had forgotten about that part. When the vision of my mother picking up the phone to hear an unfamiliar voice telling her that there’s been “an incident” floats into my head, I let out a soft, low cry. They’ve been through enough.
Luke senses the source of my distress. “They’ll see you for themselves in a few minutes. Jack’s killer is in custody. Caroline and Tom are strong. It’s going to be fine.”
Ian inclines his head in agreement before turning to face Luke. “Come on, son. We need to talk to you two separately. And you need to get that stitched up.”
Luke makes a grumbling noise that clearly indicates that he does not intend to get anything stitched up. I touch his good arm.
“Please. The sooner we do this, the sooner it will really be all over. Please.”
He looks irritated, but he nods finally, and Ian hands him off to a female paramedic.
“We’ll get you all taken care of,” she croons.
I notice that her eyes linger over his body as she quickly assesses the damage. She even skims her hand over his shoulder as she leads him away. Ugh.
“Paramedics shouldn’t wear lipstick. They should be concentrating on saving people’s lives,” I mutter.
Ian chuckles. “There’s no need to worry about that boy looking at anyone’s lipstick but yours, Stella Granger. I’ve been doing this a long time, and I’ve never seen anyone as devastated as he was over you. He sat outside the door of your room for damn near two weeks. Wouldn’t let any of us near you until you had that last surgery and your family was sure you were out of the woods.”
I can’t hide my astonishment. I thought Luke had run away. I thought he hadn’t cared enough to try to see me. I start to ask Ian a hundred questions, but he just sighs and gives me a knowing look.
“It’s outside of my job description to explain the mysteries of why men do what they do. You’ll need to ask him that.”
“But...”
“Like you said earlier, let’s get this over with.” His mouth twitches. “Then you can browbeat Luke into telling you whatever you want to know. I can’t think that he would deny you anything tonight.”
“Sneaky,” I manage, tilting my head towards him.
“Just trying to make it a little easier.” He nudges his head towards an open ambulance. “Come on.”
The questions are endless, just like I expected, but it helps that Ian is the one who asks them. I answer truthfully and simply, saving my words for other conversations that desperately need to be happen before the morning comes. I let a soft-handed woman tend to the scrapes and cuts across my arms and legs. Shielded by the ambulance and by a small army of officers, I watch the crowd swell with photographers. I see Holden, exhausted from the effort of explanation, lose his temper and then find it again.
Just as Ian snaps the lid of the voice recorder case shut, I see my parents rushing towards the ambulance, panic clearly written all over their features. I can’t wait for them to reach me, so I step out of the safe cocoon and run towards them, finally using that burst of speed.
“Thank god,” my father whispers. “Stella, you don’t know...”
I wrap my hands around his neck, trying to prove that I really am safe. It’s not an illusion anymore, I want to cry.
When he releases me, his hungry eyes check me for invisible injuries, but he isn’t fully satisfied until he’s interrogated every one of the paramedics and half of the police force. Finally, Ian takes pity on me and distracts him with a full run-down on the man with the glittering black eyes, the man who killed my brother and his son.
Even after long minutes of tears, my mother is about a step away from total hysteria, so as my father continues to pepper Ian with questions, I hug her tightly to my chest. It’s not a totally selfless act; I need her warmth just as much as she needs mine.
When her arms loosen without warning, I turn around to find Luke striding across the parking lot, unconcerned by the pretty paramedic chasing after him. He gives me a pained glance as my mother sweeps both of us into her embrace.
She brushes the bandage on his cheek with her fingers. “Luke, you’ll never know...”
“I do know, Caroline. It’s going to be okay,” he whispers softly, repeating his words to me. “It’s all going to be okay.”
After long minutes, an impatient Ian coughs loudly and interrupts us.
“Stella, Luke, both of you are free to leave. I’m sure we’ll need your cooperation in the upcoming weeks and months, but for now, I think your statements should be sufficient. Tom, Caroline, I’ll expect you at the station as soon as you get Stella safely home. We have some questions and some forms for you to fill out.”
The tightness in his voice tells me that he’s going to catch hell for not dragging us down to the station, even though my father has obviously volunteered to go in our place.
I try to express my gratitude, but he cuts off my words with a gruff look. “Take care of yourself, Ms. Granger. Go easy on him.”
Ian and I exchange a brief smile before he walks away.
My mother rubs her hand over my back. “Come on, baby. Let’s get out of here.”
Then, my father starts to lead me towards the car. I pull away as delicately as I can. It kills me to disappoint them. I’ve done it so many times over the past three years that I’ve lost count. But I can’t go home with them. Not yet.
I wrap my arms around myself and try to stand my ground. “I have to talk to Luke. I’m fine. I’m not going to have a relapse, and I’m not going to disappear again. I’m not just saying it this time. I wish I could come home right now, but I really, really need to talk to Luke. Alone.”
My father is not pleased, and that’s probably the understatement of the year. “You could have been killed! You are coming home with us, and that is absolutely final. I won’t hear another word about it. You can talk to Luke in the morning.”
“There’s a reason that I wasn’t killed, Dad, and that reason is Luke. He saved my life. Again. I need to talk to him, and, no, it cannot wait until tomorrow.”
“Stella, it’s not...”
I swivel and give Luke an imitation of my mother’s most imperious glare. When his protests are fully silenced, he nods, shuffling his feet.
My mother’s eyes dart back and forth between Luke and me, and for once, I meet her gaze head-on. I don’t bother to hide any of my emotions, and understanding slowly creeps into her expression. She tenderly sweeps the hair from my eyes and exchanges a long, pointed look with my father.
“Tom, we have business to take care of at the police station, and I can’t bear to think about Stella staying in an empty house. Luke will bring her home tomorrow.”
He starts to bellow, I start to whine, and Luke starts to give in, but my mother’s quiet voice silences all of us.
“There’s nothing to worry about. Luke will take care of Stella. He’s never let me down before.”
I think I’m the only one who catches the subtle warning in her words, but I appreciate the sentiment all the same. She brushes kisses over both of our cheeks before dragging my poor, oblivious, grumbling father to the car.
Amidst the madness, the flashing lights and stray policemen and snapping lenses, Luke and I can do nothing but stare at each other. The silence threatens to destroy my newfound clarity, so I break it first.
“Is there somewhere we can go to talk?”
His beautiful faces clouds in confusion. “I thought you were just saying that. I figured you would want to leave with Holden.”
Jesus. He is an idiot.
“No, I don’t want to leave with Holden. I repeat, is there somewhere we can go?”
“I’m staying at my old house.”
There’s no need for me to ask if we’ll have privacy. Luke would never choose to stay in that house if his mother were home.
I nod. “I need to find Holden to tell him where we’re going, and then we need to get out of here.”
“I’m not sure that it’s...”
I level my gaze directly on him. “Don’t even start with me. I am not arguing with you, and I am not giving in. I need to talk to you, and I need to do it now. It cannot wait until you’ve had an epiphany. It cannot wait until you’ve had time to run away. It will be tonight.”
I’ve left no room for argument. He throws up his hands. “Fine. Go find Holden.”
As it turns out, there’s no need for that, since Holden finds us first.
“I’m so sorry about all of this, Stella,” he says.
“It’s not your fault.” I bury my head in his neck. “Thank you for everything. I mean that. Everything. You’ll never know what it’s meant to me.”
“That sounds an awful lot like goodbye, and there’s no need for that.” He kisses my cheek and gives Luke a cold, appraising look before releasing me from his grasp. “Be careful. You know where to find me if you need me.”
“I do.” Then, I remember something. “Hey, Holden?”
“Yeah?”
“I can’t imagine finding better company to enjoy.”
He grins and tips an imaginary cap. “I’ll be seeing you soon, Stella. I can promise you that.”
Luke lets out an annoyed snort, and I know that Holden takes a particular pleasure in holding out his hand in farewell. Luke appears to oscillate between shaking it and smashing his fist into a chiseled jaw, and when Holden shoots me an amused glance, it seems to tilt the tables in favor of the latter. However, Luke manages to wrest control over his temper and they exchange a brief handshake.
When Holden saunters away, Luke and I are finally alone.
There are a million things that I need to say, with “thank you,” and “I love you,” and “I’m going to offer you my heart, again, and please be more careful about breaking it this time,” tied for first place on the list. Luke drags me to his truck before I can say any of it.
He drives off like a man possessed, barely pausing at the police barricades and blowing through at least three stop signs.
I have no idea what he thinks he’s doing, but I do know better than to test his rage when he’s like this. “I love you” is probably off the table for now.
I decide to make a half-hearted attempt at levity instead. “You know, people say that what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. That’s all well and good, but I have to tell you, I’m getting pretty sick of all of these near-death experiences. So, I’ve decided that was the last one. No more. I am done with drama.”
I get stony silence instead of the laugh I was looking for, so I try a different tactic. “Luke, what’s wrong?”
He remains silent until we reach a stoplight. Even though he’s clearly refusing to look at me, I finally get my answer.
“Are you sleeping with him?”
He’s jealous. Finally. Hallelujah. I want to throw myself a victory party, but I don’t think he would appreciate my amusement right now, so by some miracle, I keep the giddy laughter from bubbling to the surface.
“No.”
“Don’t lie to me.”
“I kissed him. One time.” I’m including multiple kisses in that one time, but Luke certainly doesn’t need to know that. “I promise you that nothing else happened.”
The light changes. The tires squeal.
“Are you trying to set a new land speed record or something?”
He doesn’t humor me with a response, but he does slow down to misdemeanor territory.
Well, there’s no time like the present. “Why didn’t anyone tell me that you came to the hospital to see me after Jack died? I thought you left without saying goodbye.”
“Ian.” He’s clearly peeved. “I told them not to say anything.”
I need to know the rest of it. “Why?”
His voice is barely audible. “Too much.”
“What was that?”
“I said it was too much,” he says, so loudly that I jerk backwards. “My best friend died. I thought you were going to die. It was too much. When you woke up, I tried to come and talk to you, but I couldn’t think of anything to say. I didn’t have anything to offer you, so I figured it was better to just leave you alone. Better for everyone if I just disappeared. So, that’s what I did. Is that what you wanted me to say, Stella? That I was a fucking coward? Because I was.”