Unobtainable (30 page)

A knock at the door startled me. I opened it to discover Tag standing there with a grin on his face, offering me a paper bag. I waved him in while I finished my call.

“Say again?” I instructed. “That’s it, when you hear me say that, it’s your time to shine. See you then.”

“Up to no good I see,” Tag greeted me. “I brought chicken soup from Lou’s Diner, guaranteed to cure all, from the bubonic plague to dandruff and hangnails. Fuck, it could peel paint off the walls it’s that potent. I thought you were supposed to be in bed.”

“I just got in the fucking door. I’m on my way,” I laughed. “You didn’t have to come over, I’m a big boy now.”

“Well big boy, head on up while I grab you a spoon and a bottle of water,” Tag ordered. “Or would you like me to make you some tea?”

“What I’d like, is for you and Harley to stop fussing over me,” I barked. “Leave me the fuck alone.”

“Calm your shit there, lady Dy,” Tag barked back. “Put on your best flannel nighty and I’ll bring you some hemorrhoid cream for the severe case of stick-up-your-ass that you’re suffering from.”

“Asshole,” I grumbled, too exhausted to argue.

“That’s exactly where it goes.”

Tag was the best, too bad he wasn’t gay, and I probably would have gone for him. He leaned forward placing his lips to my forehead and shrugged.

“Will I live doctor?” I asked, sarcastically.

“Not if we don’t get that stick outta your ass,” he chuckled, setting a bowl of soup and a bottle of water on the bedside table. “You are a little warm, take the Tylenol and I’ll quit bitching.”

“Hallefuckingluiah!” I said, popping two Tylenol into my mouth and downing half a bottle of water.

Tag unzipped his hoodie, tossing it over the bench at the end of the bed. He climbed in the bed beside me, fluffing the pillows and grabbed the TV controller. I rolled over to face him.

“Oh yeah, almost forgot,” he dipped into his pocket, producing a tiny glass bottle. “Singapore was amazing. I’ll tell you all about it after you get some sleep.”

Another vile of dirt to add to my collection, it was wonderful, I got a real kick out of each and every gift Tag gave me, I just wasn’t into it at the moment. I rolled over and put it with the soup that was getting cold and water that was getting warm and rolled back again, pillowing my hands under my head.

“New ink,” I said, seeing the bright new addition to his arm, a roaring Tiger. “I like it, the place was clean, right? They had an autoclave?”

“Of course it was clean, I’m not stupid,” Tag smiled, patting his hand on his chest as he sunk down a touch. “Go to sleep.”

I rested my head on his chest, he wrapped his arm around my shoulder and squeezed. I felt my eyes growing heavy. Tag turned on the TV, lowering the volume as his thumb trailed gently up and down my arm.

~Harley~

By the time I got home, it was already dark. Seemed everything that could go wrong at the office went wrong, making me later than usual. There was a hint of light coming from Dyson’s bedroom, his door was open a crack, dimly lighting the hall. Quickly, I changed into my sleep pants and a t-shirt, I was eager to get into bed and hold Dyson in my arms, make sure he was okay. I wasn’t prepared for what I saw next.

The light from the TV lit up the room enough for me to see Dyson in the arms of someone else. How could he? Did he pretend to be sick so he could sleep with someone else? Had he broken his promise to keep it exclusive between the two of us? I made the mistake of telling him he could fuck whomever he liked, though I never meant it. I wanted exclusion, I thought that was what he wanted too. The evidence to the contrary was right in front of my face, unmistakable as my heart shattered into a million pieces in my chest.

Fuck, I was so close to letting him in. I nearly made the most horrific mistake of my life. I closed his door and stood shaking, not so much from anger but more from disappointment and hurt. I thought he was different, that he really did love me, it goes to show how the heart can fool the mind into believing the craziest things.

The threat of tears stung my eyes as I stared up at the ceiling, blinking them away. It was bad enough I had let him deceive me, I wasn’t going to cry too. Maybe I should have gone in there and confronted them, but what would I have said? Get your hands of my…what exactly? I did make it clear I didn’t want a relationship, perhaps this was my own doing.

The more I thought about Dyson fucking someone where we made love to each other, the more it wound up my imagination. I speculated who it was in there, was he better than me? Did he make Dyson’s toes curl the way I did?  Then it donned on me that it was more than likely the guy he was hugging in the hallway at work, the one that he held far too long, was it him? He did say something about a date. Had Dyson made arrangements to meet him? Was I a complete and utter moron? The answer was lying in Dyson’s bed.

My bed was the worst possible place to be. It could not offer me peace and quiet in its emptiness, it only promised a place to dwell and ponder, a place where my mind taunted me with cruel images, Dyson’s deceitful words and haunting dreams from my past.

My stomach was hurting as I rolled from my bed and paced the floor. How? How did I let this happen? Trust was such a precious thing in my eyes. There was no one I trusted more than Dyson, so why did I think for a minute that Dyson was worth that kind of trust?

Because I was idiot enough to think I loved him.

~Dyson~

I woke up feeling better but not one hundred percent myself. The headache had depleted and my throat wasn’t sore anymore. I wiggled my fingers and toes and the tingling sensation was gone too. I sat up, stretching my arms over my head and realized I was alone. Tag had left but I couldn’t remember Harley ever coming to bed last night.

Oh, and I was late. What else was new?

The coffee was lukewarm and being as I was too lazy to make a new pot, I filled my new favorite coffee mug and nuked it in the microwave. I wandered past Harley’s office, noting it was empty, so I decided to pay Tobias a visit since his office was the next in line and I was pretty much in a slacking off kind of mood today.

“Morning,” I said, sitting on the small loveseat in the corner of his office by the window.

His was the office I would have killed for. Toby had the most awesome view of the high school football field behind our building. You needed binoculars to watch the games but I would have paid top dollar for the best pair I could find, if I had that office. Toby couldn’t care less, he was just happy to torment me with the fact that he had what I wanted.

“What’s up little man, feeling better?” Toby asked.

I was sure he was only asking to make conversation.

“By the way, you fucked up my paycheque. You never do that, what’s going on?” he asked, typing away on his laptop, his eyes zig-zagging across the screen. “I heard the lawyers meeting went well, what’s the plan.”

“The plan is to find a new apartment before December eighteenth. And what would I have fucked up on your paycheque?”

“Uh, my raise,” he snarled.

“You are not eligible for the next pay raise until February, you’re such an ass.”

“Speaking of asses,” Toby looked up from his computer. “There’s nothing going on to keep you and Harley together? You two haven’t fallen for each other? I thought you would be telling us you guys were calling off the divorce proceedings.”

I shrugged my shoulders, taking a mouthful of coffee and letting it swirl around my mouth before swallowing. It didn’t want to go down, it tasted terrible and it was barely warm. Plus my throat was constricted with thoughts of Harley and me soon parting ways.

How I wished I could tell the world we were in a relationship, a real honest to goodness relationship.

“That will probably never happen,” I said. “Not in this lifetime.”

“So, why a new place?” Toby asked, seeming to actually want to know. “I thought you loved your little bat cave.”

“New start, new place,” I answered honestly. “Besides, I gave it up when I moved in with Harley.”

When this whole thing was over, I would need something fresh to focus on. Alone was going to take on an entirely new meaning. I wasn’t sure how I was going to handle it but a new digs would certainly help take my mind to new places.

“What are you doing in here anyway?” Toby asked, going back to typing.

“I don’t know,” I shook my head and snorted, my brother had such a welcoming soul, not! “I’m going to go find Harley.”

“He called in,” Toby snickered. “You two are definitely not a couple. Obviously you don’t have to answer to each other.”

“What do you mean called in?” I asked, getting to my feet.

“He phoned, you know, wait for a ring tone, dial, say hi.”

Toby was such a smartass.

“What did he say?”

“He said,
I won’t be in today, I have to go out of town on personal business
, then he hung up. He didn’t tell you?”

I shook my head. “He said something about going out of town, but not until the weekend. We have an appointment tomorrow. I better go give him a call. I’ll talk to you later.”

“Fix my fucking paycheck!” Tobias hollered after me.

“February,” I hollered back.

My call went straight to messaging. I asked Harley to call me and hung up. I then sent him a text and waited for nearly half an hour before sending the next. There was no response. Three more texts and two more messages and I gave up.

I completed my work for the day. I don’t remember doing it, I guess it was from shear repetition that it got done, and then I moved Thursday and Fridays scheduled appointments to next week. I stood staring at Harley’s desk when Clayton came in, clapping his hand on my shoulder.

“Glad I caught you,” Clay said. “Selma’s planning dinner Sunday, it’s our turn. She wants you two there, no excuses and no ducking out early. She’s making turkey dinner with all the trimmings since we won’t be here this Christmas. Jamaica here we come, two weeks of sun and sand and the only white fluffy stuff I plan on shoveling is the froth off of my beer.”

“Sounds like a plan,” I laughed. “When I see Harley I’ll let him know. We, he has plans for the weekend, not sure when he’ll be back Sunday.”

I had no idea what I had done this time but it was enough to drive the man out of town. For this thing not being a relationship, it sure felt like one sometimes.

~Harley~

Driving back from the Munroe Cabin’s office where I made reservations for the weekend, I stopping for dinner in a dive along the way. I scarfed down a greasy burger and fries, chasing it all down with a thick chocolate milkshake. I could hear Dyson’s protests, his reminder that my arteries were going to harden solid before I hit forty. Well fuck him, I sucked the last of the decedent shake thru the straw noisily to spite him.

Three days all alone in a mountain cabin was going to be lonely, but after tomorrow I was going to need some seclusion and time to think. Was it too much to ask for some happiness in my life? Was it too much to ask for someone to share it with? I was beginning to think that my fate was sealed, I was supposed to spend it solo. I’d been doing fine until Dyson thundered into my world, throwing it off its axis.

I was twirling my ring around on my finger, focused on the salt shaker sitting in the middle of the table when the waitress came over, tapping me on the shoulder.

“You okay there doll?” she asked, tearing the check off the pad, laying it on the table face down.

She had drawn a happy face with
Have a nice day Shirley,
scribbled on the back. Without turning it over to see the final tally, I took a hundred dollar bill from my wallet and placed it in her palm.

“I’ll be right back with your change doll,” she said, smacking her gum, stuffing the bill between her ample breasts and scooping up the dirty dishes.

“Keep the change, Shirley,” I smiled at the astonished look on her face. “And tell the chef it was the best burger I’ve ever had.”

“Wow, thanks doll,” she said excitedly, as she set my dishes back on the table and sat. “I need to tell you something.” She leaned in. “That man of yours, he’s got it bad for you. What you think you saw, see it again for what it really was.” She stood, shaking her head. “Oh, and you need to tell him how you feel before it’s too late. You don’t have much time.”

“How did you,” I scratched my head, watching her whip into the kitchen. “Thanks.”

It was dark now and as I drove home along the quiet highway, I considered what Shirley had said. Was she some kind of a clairvoyant? How in god’s name did she know I saw anything? And what did she mean before it was too late? Did she know our time together was limited, that December eighteenth it was over? I had to admit, she kind of freaked me out.

A note on the kitchen counter said Dyson was out with Tag and he’d be late. It also said he had tried texting and leaving messages and fuck me for making him worry. After reading the texts and listening to the messages I understood him going out, he was a raging ball of frustration. I went to bed before he got home and things that couldn’t be taken back got said and a fight ensued.

My own bed.

~~~

She was standing in the doorway to Dyson’s room, a cast iron frying pan in one hand, a 9M Beretta in the other aimed straight at my chest. My mother was dressed like June Cleaver, in a blue seersucker flared dress, complete with a ruffled apron and a string of white pearls around her neck. Red lipstick stained her lips and her hair was pinned up in a bouffant style. Though my first thought was June Cleaver, the monster standing in front of me was anything but the happy housewife and adoring mother.

I tried to step forward, but she waved the gun in my face and laughed. “Not another step, son.”

My feet were pasted to the floor, I used my hands to try and pull them free while she laughed. I heard yelling that slowly progressed into terror filled screaming from beyond the threshold. The prickling sensation of goose bumps forming on my skin quickly turned to a heavy layer of perspiration beading on my clammy flesh as the screams grew closer.

From the darkness of Dyson’s room, Bruno appeared. Bruno’s eyes glowed like the demon I knew lying hidden beneath the dark surface. He snarled, drool escaping his mouth, dribbling from his chin. He gazed in my direction, his stare depraved. Reaching back, I heard the scream again as Bruno yanked Dyson from the room. Dyson’s face was tearstained his eyes swollen, there was a gaping wound on his lower lip and thick welts circling his throat. The most disturbing thing was the heavy black ropes tied around his body, far too tight to allow him room to take a breath. Dyson’s head fell forward and Bruno grabbed his hair, wrenching it back, Dyson wailed. I lurched unable to get to him.

I was so frustrated, so angry my body convulsed uncontrollably, my jaw ached from holding it so tight.

“Let him go, it’s me you want, let him go!” I begged.

“Had you,” Bruno laughed like he was possessed, the cackle echoing in the air. “You know what we want, new blood, fresh stock.”

“But I have the money,” I yelled over Dyson’s screams as Bruno tightened the ropes.

“It’s not enough, you have to be punished,” mommy dearest said, brandishing the gun about haphazardly.

“There’s nothing more you can do to me,” I struggled to move. “Why are you punishing me?”

“You know what you’ve done!” Mommy dearest roared. “You are happy and I can’t allow you to be happy, it’s not right. Therefore I have to eliminate what makes you the happiest. That’s him.”

“No! Dyson!” I screamed, watching Bruno brutally tear Dyson away, knocking him to the ground and dragging him into the darkness. “No! No! No!...”

The bottom dropped out from under my feet. I started to plummet, the ground coming at me at an alarming rate. I struggled to scream, jumping from my nightmare seconds before landing.

I bolted upright, causing a cushion from the sofa to fall to the floor
.
I heard feet hastily rumbling down the stairs, the squeal of flesh on the stairs steel railing, Dyson came diving onto the couch.

“I’m here,” Dyson said, placing his hand on my knee.

Scrubbing my hands over my face, I took Dyson’s hand and moved it away. His face suddenly twisted with curiosity as I rose to my feet and walked into the kitchen.

“Was it a nightmare?” he asked, following close behind.

“I guess tomorrow is weighing heavy on my mind,” I offered as an answer. “Go back to bed, I’ll be fine.”

“You called my name,” Dyson said, stroking my arm. “I was part of your nightmare?”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” I popped the top off a beer. “Want one?”

“No, its four o’clock in the morning,” Dyson said, taking it from my hand and emptying it into the sink. “You don’t need it either.”

“My mother wouldn’t get away with that shit and I’m sure as fuck not going to put up with that shit from you,” I grabbed another beer from the fridge and headed to the stairs.

Half way up I heard Dyson behind me, his bare feet slapping on each step. I spun around stopping him in his tracks.

“I’m taking my beer and I’m going to bed,” I grumbled.

“We can talk or watch some TV until you fall asleep,” Dyson offered.

“I don’t think you understand,” I turned, walking up the rest of the stairs, standing at my door. “I’m going in here and you’re going in there.”

I pointed to his door.

“What the fuck is this?” Dyson asked, his hands on his hips.

“Who were those men you met with yesterday?” I asked, watching Dyson’s Adam’s apple bob when he swallowed.

“Friends, why? Is that what this is about?”

“Why were you meeting with them, you said it was really important.”

“It was, it is.” Dyson brushed his fingers through his hair, releasing the smell of his shampoo into the air. “It was also personal, I can’t tell you right now.”

“So you’re not going to tell me?” I narrowed my eyes.

“No, I’m not,” Dyson was quick to answer.

I slammed the door in his face and locked it.

I sat drinking my beer on the chair by the window, staring at the bed and hearing Shirley’s words,
you need to tell him how you feel before it’s too late. You don’t have much time.
Anger was consuming me, this was all so crazy. As much as I wanted to burst through Dyson’s door and proclaim my feelings, the image of his betrayal held me back.
See it for what it was
, she said? It was another man in bed with Dyson, that’s what I saw.