Unravelled (30 page)

“That’s no problem.”

“I also get calls from William’s wives.” He frowns and I explain, “He’s the polygamist.”

“Are they friendly calls?”

“Not always.”

“Then we will deal with it.”

“You’ll get tired of the mess I create.”

“We’ll get a housekeeper.”

“I’ve lost my smart phone again.”

“We’ll get another one.” He laughs into my eyes. “How many more excuses do you have to prove to me that we won’t work?”

“Plenty.”

“And I’ll have a solution for all of them. Come home. Come live with me. Let’s try to make this work – as crazy as we might make each other.”

“Oh Adam, that’s... you... I... you’ll get tired of me.” I take his one hand in both of mine with not a little sadness.

“If I were to get tired of you, it would’ve happened by now and I would not be here trying to convince you that I love you and I want you to be my wife.”

“There! You said it again.” I throw his hand back at him in an accusation.

“What? Wife?” The corner of his mouth tells me that he is amused and that pisses me off. Where are the flowers and the candlelight? I mean, really!

“Yes. Wife. What do you mean with that?”

“Well, when two people love each other and they want to spend the rest of their lives together, they usually get married.” He says very slowly in his old-people-small-children tone. Then he gets serious. “I’ve told you that I love you and I want to grow old with you. It is your turn.”

“I...oh...I...” I close my eyes in total confusion and wish that Blossom would fart, the toaster would explode, a meteor would burst through the window, or any other distraction would take this pressure off me right now.

“I thought so.” I open my eyes and can see that I’ve made Adam sad and I hate myself for it.

“Oh Adam, I’m so sorry. I’m just so very confused at this moment. I’ve told myself a million times that you wouldn’t want me if you knew about my past and then you come in here knowing all my horrible stories and you propose. It is just too much for me to process.”

“I know.” It looks as if he does. “I also know that you love me. How ever difficult it might be for you to admit, you do. I will, however, give you time to work this through. I have to get back to the office in any case – there are a few last minute things to finalise. The opening is tomorrow evening as you well know, and you’re still on the programme to give the opening speech.” He gets up from the table, bends over and plants the softest kiss on my lips. “Please be there.”

I watch him walk to the door and already feel the loss of his presence. He opens the door and as strongly as I want to stop him and tell him how much I love him, I just can’t get myself to do it. He turns around and looks at me for the longest moment and then looks down at Blossom who’s sitting with his head on my lap. “Bring that dog with when you come.” And then he’s gone.

I bury my head in Blossom’s fur once again and surrender to all the emotions that wash over me. It’s only when Blossom starts getting restless that I lift my head, spit out a few of his hairs that I didn’t inhale and walk to my bedroom. I pick up the beautiful dress and bring it to my face as I sit down on my bed. The bed that Adam cleaned and made up. I think of all the things that he’s done for me in the last six weeks. Things that were not asked of him, but showed that he cares, and in hind sight it shows that it was motivated by more than just simple caring.

He told me that he loves me and I believe that. I can see it in how he treats me. The fact that we have amazing physical chemistry and that I’m always lusting after his body doesn’t help to dissuade me. In fact, it leans harder on the point that we seem to balance each other out. He certainly brings a balance to my chaotic mind. He seems to bring order to it and he calms me down.

A million thoughts race through my mind as I press the soft fabric against my cheek and weigh my options. There are many options and give them all a thorough consideration before I dismiss it and move to the next one. I play with the dress on my lap and marvel at how well Adam has me figured out. I wouldn’t go as far as saying that he, or I for that matter, understands me. But this dress, his speech and the last six weeks proves this one thing to me. Mr Adam Montgomery gets me.

I don’t know for how long I sit like this, but it is late afternoon when I fall back on my bed exhausted, yet decided.

Chapter 26

The converted barn is filled with people, all of them looking fabulous. Admittedly, some of them look too fabulous, like only people in the countryside who seldom to never have a formal function to go to can look. Take for example the lady sitting at the table to the left of me. It looks like she came from a fruit orchard with that hat of hers. If this shindig were held outside, Lady Fruithead would have had a swarm of birds and bees circling her head licking their lips – if they had any.

I’m standing at the back of the barn, which was fastidiously turned into a ballroom, with great success. It helps ease the feeling of guilt for leaving Ray with everything. I’m not surprised that he’s done such a good job of overseeing everything. Fortunately it was all arranged and he just had to make sure that the contracts were carried out to the letter. When Blossom and I walked from the parking area to the ball room, I took note of everything and standing in this room I am convinced that everything is as it should be. I need to talk to Adam about a bonus for Ray.

Soft classical music drifts from the speakers and there is a pleasant hum of conversation. Ray also did a good job with the seating arrangements – so far everyone seems to enjoy their table companions and it seems like most conversations are aimed at the barn conversion. A lot of people are looking around and pointing at the details that were worked into the design. The ‘ceiling’ gets particular attention and I must admit that it looks wonderful. Long strips of white fabric have been used as a makeshift ceiling and hang in loops hiding the barn’s unsightly roof from sight.

All the hay has been cleared out and the wooden floor washed, treated and somehow they got it to shine. This gives the barn an elegance that I’m sure was never in its original plans. Each table has a meter high lamp bathing it in a soft light and highlighting the beautiful flowers around the bases of the lamps. The lamps provide sufficient lighting for people-watching and attire-criticising while softening hard lines and hiding wrinkles. Blossom seems to sense the importance of this moment and is sitting quietly next to me. He shuffles a bit closer and I scratch his favourite spot behind his ear while I take the rest of the scene in.

There are twenty tables seating ten people each and the two VIP tables at the front end of the barn play host to the committee members, sponsors and me. All the chairs, except for two, are filled with carefully dressed bottoms. Everyone has been seated and according to the programme, I will get on the stage in the front within the next three minutes to open the event. No one knows I’m here, except for
Erin
, and since I haven’t announced my presence I suppose Adam will be the one getting on the stage to give the opening speech. He doesn’t know that I have different plans for this evening. I’m just not quite yet sure what those plans are.

The stage is big enough to hold the five piece band that will play jazz standards a bit later and has a mike stand in the middle for the guest of honour who will sing a few songs and for the person who will give the opening speech. I see Ray nervously looking around for anything that could be wrong while politely trying to have a conversation with
Erin
. A face that I can’t find anywhere is Zondra’s and I must admit that I’m rather glad that she isn’t here.

No, I lie. I’m delighted that she isn’t here. One of the biggest obstacles I had to face coming here tonight was the possibility of walking into her. I’m not scared of confronting her. I’m more afraid of what I might say and especially of what I might do to her if I were to face her. It’s better for the decorum of this whole event that she’s not here and no one will ever have to find out what I’m capable of when provoked.

Erin
tried to get me to go and sit with him, but I couldn’t get myself to do that, so at the moment I’m carefully hidden from view with Blossom now sitting on my right foot.
Erin
arrived late yesterday evening at my home and had to let himself in because I refused to open the door for him. I don’t know why he has two spare sets of keys for my house, but he does and once he let himself in, he started softening me up.

It took a lot of talking and explaining from him before I was willing to even consider forgiving him. Of course I understand his rationale behind telling Adam about my past, but I made it very clear to him that if he were to remain my best friend he was never to tell another one of my secrets. Ever. After our tiring conversation, he went home and I was left with worrying about tonight.

I spent the best part of last night and this morning arguing myself in and out of coming. Part of me wanted to run away and still does. Part of my dilemma was not being able to decide what to wear. I tried on and discarded every single outfit in my cupboard and eventually at one o’clock this morning, in sheer desperation, tried the dress on that Adam brought yesterday morning. Another few hours of agonising indecision followed and only the hour of the morning stopped me from phoning Juan to enlist his help.

Now I’m hiding behind one of the pillars at the back of the barn, thinking that I could still make a run for it – my sandals might slow me down a bit, but this pair is quite a bit more humane than the torture chambers Juan chose for me previously. I have
Erin
’s promise that I look a million dollars, but the hollowness in my stomach does nothing to help my feet from wanting to run. At least this time my stomach isn’t bloated – a cold comfort if you take into consideration the huge hole I feel where my stomach should be. I wipe my sweaty hand against my thigh and feel the soft fabric of my dress under my hand. Oh dear! I hope I don’t have too many of Blossom’s hair on my dress. After too much deliberation, I eventually decided to wear the dress that was waiting for me on my bed yesterday morning and even I think I look gorgeous.

Since my messy-hair look doesn’t take too much time, I took special care with my make-up and spent more time on it than on anything else. I made sure that it’s subtle and highlights my cheekbones. I spend more time on my make-up than on anything else. And I had to start over three times. The first time I overdid the eyes in an attempt to hide what is left of my discoloured eye and I landed up looking like one of Jamie’s Goth girl-friends. The second time I sneezed just after I applied mascara and since I learned that lesson at great expense to my dignity, I started over again. I feel confident that even Juan would approve of my third attempt.

A spotlight is switched on from the back of the barn and lights up the stage, which startles Blossom and I’m glad for the hum of conversation – knowing this animal, he just released a startled fart. Everyone settles, a hush descends on the barn and the air crackles with anticipation. The music is switched off and there, from the left of the barn, Adam walks towards the stage. He looks into the crowd, but can’t see much because the spotlights are aimed at the stage and most likely just blinded him. Is he looking for me? I look at him from my safe vantage point and something in me goes completely still.

He walks to the stage in long, confident strides. He is dressed in a black evening suit with a silver grey tie and is cleanly shaved. I can almost smell him. He climbs the three steps to the stage and I’m sure, more sure than I’ve been of anything in my life, including the time I was sure that Blossom was the reincarnation of my grandfather, that Adam is the man I want to spend the rest of my life with. I feel my heart quieten down from all its doubts and confusion and grow with something that’s very warm and much bigger than me.

In my mind’s eye I see his house, Blossom running around in it and throwing himself down with a fart on the rug in the den. I see us swimming in the pool and Adam uselessly trying to get me to swim with my face in the water – I don’t like getting my nose wet. Images of him bringing our ritual hot chocolate into the den at night and me cuddling next to him while we watch a silly movie flash before me and I know.

“I love you.”

The collective turn of heads towards the back of the barn makes me realise that I’ve just said that out loud. Maybe a little bit too loud. And of course at this moment everyone quietened down for the opening speech.

While watching Adam getting on stage, I must have stepped out from behind the pillar, because I am now in full view of God and all the invited guests of Villsburg’s Annual Art Festival. I close my eyes for a second and place my hand over my mouth, but remove it just as quick when I remember my meticulously applied lipstick and don’t want to smudge it. So I take a breath and remind myself of all the lectures and tips I received from Juan, Bart, my mother and Erin. I pull in my stomach which immediately lifts my boobs, I lift my chin, pull my shoulders back which pushes my boobs out even more and look straight at Adam.

He can’t have heard my declaration, because he is fussing with his notes for his speech. At one point he realises that there is an eerie silence in the hall and looks up and starts squinting into the crowd. It takes his eyes a few moments to get used to the lights and I know the exact moment when he sees me standing as large as life in the back of this converted barn. He looks at me and then at Blossom who is uncharacteristically quiet next to me, and raises his one eyebrow. The corner of his mouth is doing something, but I’m not close enough to see what it is and interpret it. He looks at me expectantly and I don’t need to be close to see that it’s also a look of relief.