“Who are you here with?” I say for want of something to say.
“Friends.”
“I didn’t realize you had any—aside from Jude, that is.” I give a saccharin smile.
“Funny.” But he’s not smiling. Instead, his eyes are making their way down my body, and he’s looking at me like he wants to devour me whole.
I have to suppress the urge to press my thighs together.
His eyes lift back to mine. “You look incredibly beautiful tonight.”
His words take me aback. And I resent how happy they make me feel.
I hate how he can lift me up and cut me down so easily.
“Yeah, but just not good enough for you.” I immediately want to smack myself in the face. I hate that I said those words and how pathetic and weak they make me sound.
“What?” He rears back, like I hit him.
“Nothing. Forget I said anything. I’m going now. Have a good night, Kas.”
I move past him, and he catches my arm, holding me at his side.
“You want me to forget the fact that you think you’re not good enough for me?”
“I never said
I
thought I wasn’t good enough for you.”
His brows crash together so hard that I’m surprised it doesn’t give him a headache. “You think
I
think that? That you’re not good enough for me?”
Looking away from him, I give a slight lift of my shoulder.
“That’s fucking bullshit.” His words are so vehement that my gaze swings back to his. “I’m not good enough for you, Daisy. You deserve a good man, a better man…and that’s not me.”
His words shock me to my core.
I stare into his black eyes—searching for what, I’m not sure—but I must find it because something breaks inside me.
I press my palm to his face. His eyes close against my touch.
“I don’t care,” I whisper. “I want you.”
A shudder runs through him. He tugs me into his side, sliding his arm around my back, holding me close to him. He presses his forehead to mine and exhales a shaky breath. “Fuck, baby.” His breath tickles and teases my lips.
I want to kiss him, but I also know what happened last time we did kiss.
His chin dips, bringing his mouth closer to mine.
Our mouths are millimeters apart. All I’d have to do is lean in, and our lips would be touching.
Is that what I want?
Sense tells me,
No
. But my body screams,
Yes!
“I have to kiss you,” he breathes over my lips.
His other hand moves to my head, cradling it, as his body turns into mine.
And then he kisses me.
Soft and gentle at first. Featherlight kisses.
But then his tongue sweeps over my lower lip, and the spark between us ignites like a lit match on gasoline.
His fingers tangle into my hair while he continues to fuck my mouth with his tongue.
He tastes like beer and mints and something so uniquely him, and it turns me on like nothing before.
Breaking from my mouth, he drags his thumb down my lower lip, his eyes fixed on it. “All I’ve been able to think about for days is this gorgeous mouth.”
I shiver with need.
But then that small voice in the back of my head asks,
So, why did you leave the other day? And why have you stayed away since?
But I don’t say the words because I don’t want to lose this moment. I want him to keep kissing me. I want him to keep making me feel the way he is. Like no one has ever made me feel before. Like he needs to kiss me more than he needs air.
He captures my lips with his again and sucks on my tongue. A bolt of lust shoots between my legs, making me pant and squirm.
In this moment, I want him like I’ve never wanted anyone before.
A scream of laughter breaks us apart. My head jerks to the side, and I see a group of giggling girls falling out of the ladies’ restroom.
My eyes come back to Kas. His eyes are glazed with lust, his lips swollen from my kiss.
Seeing him like this gives me a sense of satisfaction.
His lip lifts at the corner into the sexiest smile I’ve ever seen, and then he grabs my hand and yanks me into the disabled restroom. He pushes the door shut and locks it.
I hear the giggling girls pass by, and then it’s quiet. Only the thumping sound of the music from the club and our shallow breaths are heard.
Kas is staring at me. The look in his eyes almost undoes me.
No one has ever looked at me like he is right now.
Like I’m all he can see.
I lift a hand to his face, touching my thumb over the corner of his mouth.
His eyes close at my touch.
Then, his eyes flash open. He grabs my wrist, pulling my hand from his face, and pushes me back up against the door. His mouth comes down hard on mine, and he starts to kiss me with even more need and ferocity than before.
There’s nothing finesse about this kiss. We’re basically fighting each other for space.
His hand cups my shoulder, moving down my side. His fingers lightly graze the curve of my breast, making my nipples harden. Finally, his hand reaches my hip, and he grips ahold of it. His fingers bite into my skin through the thin fabric of my dress.
I snake my arm around his neck, tangling my fingers into the hair at the nape. It’s the first time I’ve touched his hair, and it’s as soft as I thought it would be.
Kas jams his other hand into my hair. Pulling back slightly, he stares down at me. His eyes are black and shining with desire. He’s never looked more beautiful than he does in this moment.
His teeth drag over his lower lip. It’s such a slow and deliberate move that everything inside me clenches. I shiver.
He grins, like he knows exactly the effect he has on me.
Then, he tips my head to the side and covers my mouth with his.
He presses his lower body into mine, and I feel the length and hardness of him against my belly.
I love that I can make him hard from just a kiss.
My other hand moves around his back. I slide my hand lower and slip it into his back pocket. I grip his arse, bringing him in even closer.
He groans into my mouth. The sound is so sexy that I feel like I could come from just hearing it.
He bites on my lower lip, and then his tongue comes out to lick away the sting. It’s incredibly hot.
Then, his mouth moves across my jaw to my ear. “I want you so fucking badly, it hurts.” His voice is hoarse with excitement, and I feel the sound deep inside.
His lips move down my neck, kissing a sweet path back to my mouth. He stops, his lips hovering over mine.
“So, have me,” I whisper.
A flash of something moves through his eyes. If I didn’t know better, I’d think it was fear.
He shuts his eyes on a shallow breath, and then his mouth is back on mine.
I feel feverish. Needy and wanting.
It’s been a long time since I last had sex. Close to two years. And that was with Jason, the fuckwit, back when I didn’t know what a lying, deceitful bastard he was.
But, even then, I never felt this good with him.
It’s like Kas is in every part of me, touching all of me, and I still want more.
I suck on his tongue, and he shudders.
Feeling decidedly brave and wanting him like I’ve never wanted anyone before in my life, I slip my hand from his back pocket and slide it around to his front. I take a deep breath and then move my hand lower, palming the hard length of him through his jeans.
I feel his whole body lock up tight.
His eyes close, and his hands leave me, pressing up against the door above my head, caging me in.
He isn’t moving or saying anything. But he isn’t moving away either, so I take it that what I’m doing is okay.
Curling my fingers around the length of him, I start to move my hand up and down.
“Fuck…” he groans, sounding almost agonized.
I stare up into his face. His lips are pinched, his brows drawn together.
I stop moving my hand, unsure if he wants this.
His eyes flash open. The heat in them is unmistakable.
He wants this.
I reach up on my tiptoes and press a soft kiss to his lips. His hand drops from the wall and cups my face as his tongue runs along the seam of my lips, asking for entrance. I part them, and he moans low as he slips his tongue into my mouth.
I start moving my hand again, and he deepens the kiss.
His other hand comes down from the wall and cups my shoulder. Fingers moving downward, he brushes the strap of my dress off my shoulder, letting it fall. Then, he tugs the front of my dress down at one side, exposing my bra.
His thumb brushes over my hard nipple, making me shiver.
Needing to feel more of him, I reach for the hem of his shirt. Lifting it, I start to slide my hand underneath.
The next thing I know, the hand that was on my breast is now gripping my wrist, stopping its ascent.
I blink my hazy eyes, confused.
When they lock onto his, I see the same look in them that I saw the last time we kissed, and my body goes cold.
Pushing back from me, Kas drops my arm, like I just burned him.
His hands drive into his hair. His eyes catch mine. There’s regret and a whole lot of other emotions in them. None of them are good, and I instantly feel sick.
“I…I…” He’s struggling for words, and I’m dying inside. Then, he delivers his final blow. “I can’t do this with…
you
.”
Before I can get out a word, he’s moving me aside, unlocking the door, and striding through it.
Gone in seconds.
Again.
I don’t believe this.
“I can’t do this with…you.”
Tears spring to my eyes.
I pinch the bridge of my nose with my thumb and forefinger.
Don’t you dare cry over a man, Daisy. Don’t you fucking dare.
I blow out a breath and exhale another, fighting back the tears.
God…I can’t even…
How could he do this to me again?
How could I have let him?
What the hell is wrong with him?
Never mind him. What the hell is wrong with me?
I need to have more dignity than this.
I
do
have more dignity than this.
Shame on me for falling for his shit again.
I have no one else to blame but myself.
Kiss me once, shame on you.
Kiss me twice, shame on me.
Dropping my hand from my face, I move over to the mirror.
My bra is showing, my lips are kiss-swollen, my face is flushed, and my hair is messed up from where Kas’s hands were in it.
The sight makes me want to cry again.
Biting my lip, I tug my strap up, covering myself.
I can’t believe I let him do this to me again.
Jesus. How stupid am I?
I must have
dumb bitch
written all over my face. I mean, Jason saw it written there.
I thought I’d cleaned it off.
But, apparently not, because Kas thinks he can screw with me, too.
I just don’t get it.
What does he get from this?
It’s not like we’ve had sex.
Or am I just a game to him?
Is this how he gets his rocks off—messing with the pretty, poor little girl who’s so desperate for attention that she’ll let her boss feel her up in a public restroom?
Pain lances across my chest. I press my hand to it.
I’m so weak and stupid.
I hate that he can hurt me in this way.
And I hate even more that I let him.
I might be angry with Kas. But I’m angrier with myself for being so stupid.
I was stupid over a man before, and that cost me everything.
I won’t be stupid again.
I’m not some toy to be played with.
Screw Kastor Matis and his mind games.
I’m done.
If he ever tries to kiss me again, I’m going to knee him in the balls.
Well, maybe not actually knee him in the balls because that’s assault and a surefire way to end up back in prison. But I’ll imagine kneeing him in the balls while I give him the middle finger.
Screw Kastor Matis and his screwed up self.
I don’t need his crap. I already have problems of my own without him bringing more to the party.
As far as I’m concerned, Kas no longer exists. He’s invisible to me.
And Mr. Matis only exists inside my place of work.
He’s playing games with me, playing me for a fool. He thinks I’m naive and needy.
Maybe I was. But no more.
I won’t let him get away with treating me like an idiot anymore.
He tries to come near me again, and he’ll find out just exactly what Daisy Smith is really made of.
And, with my renewed sense of purpose and the realization that I’ve been gone quite a while and that Cece is probably getting worried, I walk out of the restroom and back into the noise of the club.
Tw
enty-Three
I’m tired, and my feet are aching. And, to round it all off, it’s raining.
But I came dressed for the weather, so if anyone feels like puddle-splashing me, they can because I have my raincoat on, Cece’s wellies on my feet, and an umbrella in my hand.
No way am I getting soaked.
I’m on the train, heading into work. My stomach is churning at the thought of seeing Kas.
I’m praying that he won’t be there, like he hasn’t been for these past few days.
I’m also not looking forward to telling Cooper that I can’t go out with him tonight.
I might be done with Kas-hole, but I’m still hurt over his behavior. I would only be going out with Cooper to get back at him, and that’s not fair to Cooper.
And I’ve decided that men just aren’t for me.
From now on, I’m Celibate Daisy.
Men are trouble, pure and simple. One man in particular, who goes by the name of Kas-hole.
But he’s no longer my problem.
I see my stop approaching. I get up from my seat, hooking my bag on my shoulder and grabbing my umbrella. I walk to the door.
I wait, watching as the station pulls into view, and I let out a yawn.
Cece and I weren’t out too late last night. We left soon after my little incident with Kas.