"Fuck, fuck, fu—"
"I get the general idea, but...oh." Enlightenment washed over me in a cool wave. "Oh, right."
"Yeah." Leo lay on his back, one hand across his forehead and eyes, chest rising and falling rapidly, then less so, then less so again.
The cardinal sin of one night—of weekenders. We'd forgotten to use a condom. Got carried away. Let our halfasleep lust take over, distracted as we were by somnolence.
"Still." His free hand came up to stroke my arm. At first, as he'd jerked away from me, I'd thought it was me in the wrong, something about me that had disgusted or horrified him. Logic told me this wouldn't be the case but I was extra-sensitive to signs of his disapproval for reasons I wasn't ready to face up to. "I didn't come inside you."
God, you have no idea what those three words do to me, Leo. Come inside me. I want you to. I want to feel you-
"Piper?" He stroked me again. "Are you all right?"
I took a deep breath in through my nose. Exhaled through my mouth. "I'm fine." Lies, all lies. Not fine at all.
"You sure?"
"Yes. Really." Liar.
"It was a mistake. I was half asleep."
"We both were."
"I started to wake up. I just felt you there and..." Even lying down, with one palm to his forehead, he managed to shrug and make it look sexy. "I had to get inside you again."
I fell onto my back, stared at the skylight and the stars beyond. Something inside me shifted and that stone heart of mine sank through treacle.
Piper, you crazy woman, why do you feel like this?
No answer came. I couldn't even specify what it was I felt.
"Hey, you." The stroking on my arm became a more forceful rub. "Don't fall back asleep yet."
Why? Do you want to start again?
"Are you mad at me?"
No, then. You just wanted to clear the air. "No, no, of course not."
"I've never done that before. Forgot myself I mean." He flipped onto his side, propped himself up on one elbow. "Must be you leading me astray."
"Don't blame me for this, Carson. You tried pulling the innocent act earlier and you still don't have me fooled."
"What? I am innocent." A whisper of a laugh. "Honestly. I'd never do... this... for instance..." His free hand slid under the duvet, across my hip and lay there, not stroking or fondling, but the mere pressure of his hand was enough for the familiar warmth to spread under my skin, to radiate out from the point of contact.
"You're depraved, Leo Carson," I said a millisecond before he kissed me, a mere peck on the lips. "No one was born as dirty as you. It's an acquired skill."
"Are you accusing me of having a filthy past? 'Cause... well, yeah, filthy, I'll give you that..." He bent his head to my nipple, worked it between his lips gently, so gently it was almost a tickle.
"A misspent youth, then."
"If it taught me how to do depraved things to you then it obviously wasn't misspent, was it?"
"Damn, I've... oh God, Leo, you... oh yes..."
His head lifted.
"What did you stop for?"
"Well... can't have you thinking I'm a dirty-minded pervert, can I?"
"For fuck's sake-"
"Oh well done, darling. Swearing like an Irishman. I must be rubbing off on you."
"You're a bad influence. Clearly."
"I'm pure. Innocent. Never done anything wrong—"
"You've got the morals of an alley cat, really, haven't you?"
"I take exception to that, Piper." His finger slid deeper inside me. "I may be a little bit mischievous, but I have morals." Circled gently. "Loose ones, but they're the only ones I have." Another finger slid inside.
I lifted my hips off the bed so his fingertips would brush against my G-spot and my breathing quickened.
"And my friends still love me, even if I'm divorced and I know how to hotwire a car and I once broke my brother's nose throwing a cassette recorder at him."
"You... " My body wanted to lift further off the bed, despite Leo's revelation sending ice water through my veins. "You...?"
"I was only thirteen, though." His speech so matter-offact, his fingers so gentle inside me. "And he forgave me. Once it healed, and I let him hit me back to make up for it."
"No, the other..." How can you reveal something like that when you're—
"The car? Yeah. Same brother who taught me how."
"No, the- "
"I was twenty-two. It lasted a year and a half." He cradled my head with one hand, lay down beside me and kissed me. A light peck on the lips. "I'm a divorced Irishman. Insanely impulsive in matters of the heart." Kiss. "With a history of violence against both battery-operated household devices and annoying older siblings." Another kiss. "And I broke the law in my youth." His tongue parted my lips, slid along my own, tasting me. "I've been drunk more times than is healthy." Deeper, this time, with tongue and fingers. "I've done hash and E, a few lines of coke." They crooked against my G-spot and I lost my breath. "Shoplifted, too." Stroked faster. "But I think I can be forgiven for all of that because I know how to make you come."
Oh you do. You do.
It had been in the back of my mind ever since my arrival at his apartment when he'd made that remark about the next time he got married. And now he'd confirmed it...
I didn't care.
Simply.
Didn't.
Care.
"Leo."
"I love it when you say my name like that. You can't quite breathe but have to say something and it may as well be my name." He smiled against my mouth, barely giving me room to speak again. Or draw breath. "I've never met anyone who moves like you, sweetheart." His fingers went deeper and I gasped, just as he seemed to want me to.
"I want—"
"Tell me. I know what you want but I need to hear it."
"I want... I want you inside me."
"I am."
"No, not your... your fingers..."
"You want my cock inside you?" He whispered right in my ear, a breathy taunt making me shiver. "Then..." He slid his fingers out of me. His weight shifted and he leaned over to the side of the bed. The bedside cabinet drawer opened and I exhaled through pursed lips, under my breath, praying he wouldn't hear the relief in my exhalation.
Relief because I knew what he was doing, at last.
There was something so sexy about the sight of him, covered by darkness but still visible in glimpses, naked, the smell of him, the touch, when one was about to make l—
Fuck.
"You what?"
"Oh. I did it again?"
"Did what again?" Foil tearing, Leo lying flat on his back, rolling the condom on.
"Said something out loud when I was thinking it."
"You thought the word 'fuck' and ended up blurting it out? Piper Holt, I am shocked at your behavior. Come here and take your punishment."
I straddled him, kneeling up, hovering above his cock, let it touch the lips of my pussy. His whole body twitched, his back arching off the bed but I lifted myself out of the way. Grabbing my hips, he tried to pull me down onto him but I wriggled. "Leo. Let me." I slid his cock an inch inside and moaned at the pressure, the feeling of being stretched and filled up. He too let out an undefined exhalation, something quieter than a groan, from the back of his throat.
He gripped the slats of his headboard with both hands and pushed up, even as I moved down onto him. "Piper? Do... fucking hell... do that thing with your hips again."
Circling my hips, I moved forward and edged back. Easing him out of me, then back in, instantly turned on and trying not to come too soon. It had to endure because I didn't know when would be our last time.
Those words, last time, sucked the breath out of my lungs and as I leaned forward, my hands contracted on his chest, and he winced but said nothing. I tried to press him down onto the mattress but his hips were too much for me, pushing back, forcing him deeper, almost painfully so, but the pain was exquisite.
Addictive.
Leo's hands whipped from the headboard to my hips where they belonged and pulled me down onto him, winding me further. "Sorry. I..." He smoothed my hair back off my face, entwined his fingers in it, pulled my face down to his.
The jokes were gone. He'd never apologized in such a sincere tone before, never seemed so desperate to touch me, to have his hands in my hair and our bare skin touching.
His cock slid out, in, only an inch or so but enough for our combined movements to spark off miniature explosions inside me.
Bracing myself with a hand on either side of his face, anger at the darkness obscuring his features flared up but there was relief too, because as I moved, slowly, to delay orgasm, I was able to pretend I looked into his eyes with no embarrassment. Pretend the hours to separation weren't ticking by.
His hands dug into my hip bones, guiding me back and forth, but only his first push and retreat were forceful; after that he fell into my rhythm, a slower one. But still went deep enough for the contours of his cock to touch my G-spot.
Every point of contact between us; thighs, his hands creeping up my back, the slow, deep strokes he took inside me, crackled with electricity.
It's not supposed to be like this.
This is only...
A tighter grip on me, more forceful thrusts. "Come on, darlin', you're gonna come, I know you are. Piper... come here..." He whispered words into my mouth like the kiss of life. "I'm gonna roll you over..." Hands moved from my waist, up, cupped my breasts. "I'm gonna get you on your back and keep fucking you from on top."
"Oh God. Leo. I don't know how you can... speak like that while..."
He pulled me closer, forced my chest onto his. Perspiration made our skin slippery. "I can almost make out the look on your face when we're this close but there's not enough..." He stopped, both his speech and his movements, lay absolutely still under me.
His stillness lasted for only a few seconds. In my weakened state I put up no resistance to him shifting his weight, holding my hips tight so he could stay deep inside and roll me onto my back. "There's not enough light." He stretched past me to the bedside table and I knew what was coming. He flicked a switch and the sudden brightness made me gasp, cover my eyes.
Leo laughed, took my hand, hesitated, probably to give me time enough to adjust, and moved it away from my face. Then the other. "There." He kissed me, lifted his head and his gaze flickered from my eyes to my mouth. "I wanted to see you."
The simplicity of his words made me shiver and I had no control over what my body did. It simply reacted. To him.
Sparks jolted up my spine, exploded at the back of my neck. I think I cried out with each slow stroke of Leo's cock inside me.
"Piper?" Agonizingly slow thrusts and a low voice made him more seductive than usual. "Piper, honey, are you... oh God, you're so beautiful when you're this close."
I had little, if any, fight left.
Didn't even know what I was fighting against.
"Do you like that?" Leo moved from the hips, entangling his fingers in my hair again, cradling my face despite my desire to throw my head back and scream.
But I couldn't. For some reason I remained nearsilent. The only sounds were his rapid breaths against my neck, the glide of sweat-soaked skin on skin, the occasional creak of the bed as our collective weight shifted.
I wondered how he knew, supposed I must have told him. I loved it when he waited for me to get this close and forced himself as deep as possible and circled. Slowly, quickly, I didn't care as long as he made that move.
But how did he know? How did he know the exact moment I wanted him to do that?
"God..." I gasped, finding my voice again, miraculously. "You're..." Amazing. Incredible. Perfect.
"Oh fuck. Oh fucking hell, I can't wait. Piper, you're—" Instead of burying his head in the curve of my neck as he drove himself closer to orgasm, Leo tangled my hair tighter around his fingers and looked down at me, eyes widening every time he circled his hips, every time I moved beneath him. Panting, he touched his forehead to mine and licked his lips.
My hands snaked around him, gripped his shoulders and from that moment on all I knew were flashes, pieces, details. The tears obscuring my vision, the tightening of his muscles under my hands as he fought to keep control over himself while making me lose my own. The need to have all of him inside me. The gentle creaking of the bed frame speeding up as he fucked me faster, except fucking wasn't the right word. The way he looked at me, into me, biting his lip.