Unwilling (Book One of the Compelled Trilogy 1) (22 page)

They decided to stay in an inn that night, reluctantly releasing almost the last of the coins they had left. They all wanted a night of comfort, before, what they believed, was their expeditions end.

The mood as they all set down for supper was light despite the gruesome events of the previous night. The tavern of the inn was dark and smoke floated through the air from the kitchen, candles were placed in holders along the walls, making the booths, like the one they sat in, seem intimate and secluded. Across the room, an older gentleman played a flute, the notes high and slow. Rowan stared at the wall across the room, blinking slowly, her thoughts murky and she did her best not to think at all.

Pickard erupted in robust laughter. “Hasn’t been too grand so far! One of my more, low key, adventures.” He elbowed Chev and Chev scowled at him, making Pickard laugh all the harder. “Lighten up my friend! Tomorrow we meet Elias!”

That is not something you should celebrate. Or have the
y
all forgotten what we have seen these last months, have they forgotten what Elias has done?
Rowan thought numbly.

“What do you plan to do when you reunite your brother Rowan?” Mills asked her for the second time that night, eyeing her curiously while taking a small sip of ale, his lips pursed and his nose crinkled, as if he found the drink sour.

Pickard finished drinking his third one, slamming the thick-rimmed glass onto the table, froth sloshing over the edge and down the glass. “Another!” Pickard yelled to a passing girl in an apron, who rolled her eyes as she passed, taking the empty glass from the table. “Well let’s hear it, Rowan?” Pickard said, his breath stinking of alcohol.

“I honestly don’t know.” Rowan said quietly, fingering the edge of the table. The conversation around them stilled for a second, then Jonquil and Pickard resumed talking excitedly to each other.

Rowan hardly touched her food, letting the thick roast Jace had ordered for her sit and grow cold, fumbling around in a daze that ensnared her, lost in her thoughts, or perhaps, to heartbroken over seeing the dead children to have any at all.

Pickard, Mills, and Jonquil talked loudly, the ale they were drinking making their tongues loose and their laughter loud. None of them noticed the man watching them from across the room, his face shadowed in darkness as he leaned away from the flickering candle light.

Rowan finished her meal and stood to leave. “Thank you gentlemen, for accompanying me this far.” She looked at them each in turn and they nodded their head acknowledgment, Rowan felt a pang of guilt for Tomman, who should have been there to celebrate with them, or at least alive, with a loving family. “I’ll see you in the morning.” She smiled, but in her gut, she felt more as if she was saying good-bye rather than goodnight.

Jace stood from the table, wiping a crumb from his shirt. “Night.” He said to the men, nodding once.

Rowan wound her way through the tables in the dining room, towards the stairs. She paused, turning her head to the side with her brows furrowed, her eyes searching.

“What is it?” Jace asked, placing a warm hand on her arm.

“It’s just I thought I saw, but he couldn’t have followed us all this way here.” Rowan answered puzzled, convinced she hadn’t seen that old man Jacob.
Trick of the eye, s
he told herself. “It’s nothing, just thought I recognized someone.”

Rowan and Jace walked up the creaky stairs to where their room was, turning down several poorly lit halls to get to the back of the massive inn. When they reached their room, Rowan opened the door than closed it quickly behind her and Jace, the gloomy shadows that danced in the halls frightening her, though she knew she was being silly.

Jace stood by the door, uncertain of what to do with himself. The moon light beamed down on him, as if asking for him to tell it all his secrets, daring him to reveal his inner thoughts, its translucent glow promising to keep his confidences in private. Rowan closed the curtain. She turned slowly to Jace, uncertain of what to say to him and a thick silence stretched between them, neither taking their eyes off the other.

Jace walked over to her and took her in his arms. Rowan smelled like the woods and her hair was tangled, but Jace thought she had never looked more beautiful than she did in that moment. Her face was vulnerable, her lips slightly parted and Jace could feel her heart hammering in her chest, the same as his did, and he couldn’t help but smile down at her, content in this simple moment.

“I love you.” Jace said, placing his forehead on hers.

“How can you be sure?” She asked, her eyes searching his.

Jace grabbed her hand and placed her palm over his heart, she could feel its hammering rhythm beneath her fingers, strong and wild and soothing. “Do you feel that? Do you feel the way it responds to you? If you were only tricking me into thinking I loved you, my heart wouldn’t beat like this for you.” Jace touched his lips just slightly to hers, making her body quiver. “My stomach wouldn’t twist every time you looked at me with those perfect blue eyes of yours.” Another light kiss, just brushing his lips against hers, as soft as the wind and it made Rowan desperately need more. “It wouldn’t feel like my skin was on fire every time you touched me.” A third small kiss and Rowan felt as though she was swimming, the world spinning and she was going to collapse any second. “And when I kiss you…” Rowan curled her fingers on his chest, balling his shirt in her fist as he kissed her again, drawing her body up against his and the air grew warm hot scorching as Jace kissed her, hard and deep and it was almost too much for Rowan to handle.

Jace pulled away from her, breathing heavy and Rowan blinked, swaying slightly where she stood, the length of her still firmly pressed against him.

“Jace?” She asked, not sure what her question even was. He did not speak, but he ran his thumb across her jaw and down her neck, along her collarbone, which was just visible through her shirt. It made her shiver, despite the warmth in the room. “Jace.” She breathed, her voice barely a murmur, completely giving way to him, wanting this, needing this, needing him. 

Jace hooked his arms around her thighs, hoisting her up so she straddled his stomach, her face hovering just above his. It was no effort for him to carry her across the small room, she was tiny under her clothes. She looked at him with large, trusting eyes, blinking slowly.

Rowan breathed deeply as he gently laid her down on the bed. It was lumpy and the covers smelled liked dust, but she hardly noticed. Her vision filled with the sight of Jace above her, his body pushing hers onto the bed. He supported himself on one arm above her head. The other hand ran down her arm, making the small hairs there stick up, leaving a blaze where his skin connected with hers. He ran his hand along her stomach and rested it on her hip.

“Is this ok?” He asked, his voice strained. His body was tense, like a lion waiting to spring. Rowan did not trust herself to speak and only nodded.

Jace lowered his head, slowly, giving her time to pull away. Rowan lay completely still beneath him, her chest rising and falling with each labored breath. Her pulse beat frantically in her ears, drowning out all other sounds. Her eyes fluttered closed, her lashes long and dark against her pale skin.

When their lips met, it was like fire, scorching her skin and making the world explode in a thousand different ways. She grasped Jace’s shirt, desperate to bring him closer. He pushed into her, making her body tingle. He grabbed her thigh and pulled her leg up so it curved along his back. He ran his hand back up over her thigh, causing Rowan to arch her back.

They were feverish, their bodies burning and aching for the others. Their hands never stayed still, Rowan skimmed hers over his back and when that was not enough, she delved under his shirt, his skin smooth and hot under her fingers. He trailed fire across her stomach, along her neck, down her arms.

His lip cupped hers, his tongue hesitantly licking her bottom lip, she moaned, the sound lost in her throat. They felt urgent to taste each other while they still had time, as if it would be stolen from them, come first light.

Rowan tugged at the hem of Jace’s shirt. He lifted himself off her, her body suddenly freezing in the absence. She jerked the shirt over his head, her hand skimming his chest and Jace gasped as their lips smashed into each other’s again. Rowan pressed her palm to his back, her heart racing and she thought it might burst from her chest.

“Rowan! Rowan! Jace!” A voice yelled to them from outside the door, their fist pounding on the wood. “Rowan!” They called again urgently. Jace looked at the door, his face blank. He didn’t remove himself from over her.

“WHAT?” Jace barked, his voice an octave lower than normal.

“Rowans brother, he’s back!” The voice responded, their words sloshing together. Rowan tried to sit up, only to crash into Jace’s chest. He looked down at her confused, as if she had turned into someone else, or had turned green. He reluctantly hauled himself off her, sitting at the edge of the bed, scanning the floor for his shirt.

Rowan sat up, running a hand through her disheveled hair, blushing as though whoever was outside the door would know what was going on in the room and chastise her. After all, Jace was not her husband and proper young women did not lie with proper young men outside of matrimony.
Am I even a proper young woman anymore?
Rowan asked herself, dismayed to find she could not be sure of the answer anymore; she did not even wear dresses any longer, abandoning the thick cumbersome clothes for lightweight men’s wear some months ago.

Rowan rubbed her palms over her face as if trying to scrub away the feeling of Jace’s lips on hers. But her lips still tingled, still burned, imprinted forever with the feel of his lips on hers, and she wished for nothing more than for whoever it was outside the door to go away and leave her alone with Jace once more
. Who cares if my brother is in the town?
Well she did, but her head was foggy and she had a hard time focusing on that.

“Rowan?” The voice called again, uncertain of the silence from the room.

“Coming.” She said tensely. With a last look at Jace, disappointment filling her to find he had found his shirt and put it back on, she lugged herself from the bed with a sigh.

When the door creaked open she found Pickard, who’s eyes darted from her to Jace, who stood somewhere behind her, probably glaring daggers into Pickard. “Your brother, Rowan,” he stated again, looking flushed, wobbling slightly where he stood.
He is utterly intoxicated!
Rowan realized and took a step back as though Pickard could project his drunken state onto her.

“Where?” Rowan asked, breathing deeply to try to calm her pounding heart.

“No one’s has seen him, but a boy come to the inn just a while ago. He said your brother has requested your presence. Tonight.” Pickard smiled as though what he had just said were some kind of joke and the stench of ale hit Rowan like a fist and she took another step back.

“Where can I find him?” Rowan asked, growing impatient.

“The boy said he is staying at a house, a few miles from here.” Pickard answered hastily.

“Please go ask the inn keep for a horse to borrow.” She said to Pickard. “Please make sure it is saddled, and ready to ride. I will be down shortly.”

Pickard looked taken aback, as if her request was absurd, his face screwing up in a scowl. “But Rowan-“

“Please. Pickard.” She looked at him and he turned away, knowing there would be no arguing with her. Not with that steely look in her eyes. Rowan shut the door once he had staggered around a corner.

“You cannot mean to go to him at this hour!” Jace asked her, incredulous.

“I do intend to go to him at this hour. If my brother is here, I must see him. I must know why-” Rowan broke off, her words falling from her tongue in a plea and she  willed Jace to understand. If she didn’t face Elias now, when the courage boiled inside her, she likely never would.

“Rowan, it is pitch black outside,” Jace shook his head, his green eyes dark, “You’re as likely to fall and break your neck, as you are to get lost.” He shook his head again, his lips a thin line as he scowled at her. “I just want you to be safe.” He said softly, coming toward her.

Rowan, exhaled, her willpower leaving her as he took her in his arms. “I will be Jace, my brother would not harm me.” She was convinced of this truth. No matter the horrible things people had said about Elias, she knew that with everything in her, her brother would never lift a finger against her, not intentionally. “I will be safe.” She said confidently.

“Let me come with you.” Jace replied, his voice edged with concern, it dripped from his mouth, it solidified his body, it made his eyes shine and it all only made Rowan feel guilty.

“This is something I must do on my own. And while I know Elias wouldn’t harm me, I’m not sure what he would do to someone with me, it’s safer if you stay.”

“I don’t care about my safety, I care about yours!”

“Jace please, I’m asking you to let me go.”

Jace’s arms tightened around her as though to keep her there by force, but a moment later he loosened his grip, stepping away from her. He opened his mouth as if to say something, but closed it quickly and looked away.

“Jace-“ Rowan started, trying to reassure him that everything would be fine.

“It’s ok Rowan, you don’t need to say anything. I know this is something you must do and I’d only be a fool to try and stop you.” Jace still wouldn’t look at her. She floundered for the right words but her mind was blank. Rowan turned from him, opening the door and closing it behind her as she stepped into the dark hall.