Urges: Part Three (The Urges Series Book 3)

Urges

Part Three

SKY CORGAN

Text copyright 2015
by Sky Corgan

All rights reserved.

No part of this
publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or
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photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without written permission of
the author.

CHAPTER ONE

The air in Trent's
office is stifling. My eyes are fixed on his lips, though for the
first time ever, I'm not thinking about kissing them. I'm waiting for
him to say the words that will cast me out of his presence forever.
And I'm so pissed off that I don't care.

It seems like the
cat has his tongue. We look across his desk at each other, and as the
time ticks by, counting to the end of the day, counting to my
termination, I feel the tension building up inside of me to an
insurmountable level. If he has nothing to say, then I sure do. I
will go down with guns blazing, and by the time I walk out of his
office, he'll know what a total piece of shit I think he is.

“
You
know, Trent, I really enjoyed what happened between us, and I'm not
just saying that because you think I'm a slut. I'm not. Sleeping
around isn't my thing.”

“
I
never—”

“
Shut
up!” I hold my hand out to silence him. We're beyond the point
where I give a crap about what he has to say. Thankfully, he doesn't
challenge me. His body tenses, but he remains quiet while I continue
my rant, perhaps thinking that he owes me at least this much. “I
like you. No.” I shake my head. “That's not right. I
liked
you.
I thought you were a great guy. Some hero, coming to save the day.
Maybe not at first. Not at the hotel. But when I came in here and saw
you were willing to give me a job despite what happened between us
and my lack of experience. And maybe not even then so much as when
you treated me with respect and never made me feel weird about
things.

“
Even
after we messed around in your office, when you treated me
dismissively, and I thought that was the end of everything between
us, I still liked you.” My eyes are watering, and I don't know
why. Maybe because this confession is too raw. Perhaps because I feel
desperate, even though I'm not anymore. What happened between us is
over. If he's going to send me packing, then I'm at least going to
unload on him before I go. Hopefully, it will make me feel better.
Maybe I'll regret it. There's no way of knowing until I'm done and
out the door. And I still have a lot to say before that happens. “I
don't know who you are. I've never known. I'm not going to pretend
like I even have a clue. You can be the nicest guy one second, and
then the next...” My voice trails off as I think about him
telling me to take the walk of shame. I suck back the tears
threatening to spill down my cheeks and lock eyes with him. “I've
never treated you with anything but respect. I gave you everything
you wanted. More trust than I've ever given a man. I've dated guys
for years that I wouldn't let tie me down the way I allowed you to. I
thought things were going great between us. I know you said you don't
date, but I thought that maybe there could be...something. But then
when you told me to take the walk of shame,” I laugh, because
right now I feel like I'm starting to go insane.

The emotions are
building up inside of me to the point that I'm about to snap from
being overfull. And he's just staring at me blankly. Is he even
listening? I can't tell, but I also suppose it doesn't matter.
Because I need this. I need to get this all out.

“
Everyone
has issues, Trent. You act perfect here, but there's something wrong
with you, and that's okay. I was willing to help you figure it out. I
was intrigued by the way you are. Hell, I was even willing to forget
everything that happened between us. If you truly wanted to push me
away, I was fine with that too.

“
But
apparently, even that's too much for you. You can't handle being
around me because of...whatever reason. And now you're firing me,”
my tone takes a mocking turn, as if I can't believe that everything
has boiled down to this moment where I lose my job over casual sex.

Trent's head jerks
back slightly, and he screws his face. “I'm not firing you. I
never said anything about firing you.”

Those words should
fill me with relief, but instead, they completely mortify me. I just
poured myself out to him, and he has the audacity to patronize me by
telling me that firing me was never his intention. What in the hell
was this about, then? I'm ashamed and embarrassed and panicked, and
that tiny fragment of sanity that was holding me together snaps right
in half. I can't do this. I can't be around him anymore. He's messing
me up mentally.

“
It
doesn't matter, because I quit.”

***

What happened at
Chilly Creations, Inc. has left a foul taste in my mouth. Trent
didn't even try to stop me. In fact, he didn't say a word as I
gathered my pride and myself off of the horribly uncomfortable metal
chair in his office and took my leave, holding back sniffles all the
while. Stubbornness kept me from crying on the way home. I had
convinced myself that he wasn't worth my tears, and that's probably a
good thing, because as soon as I got home, I was immediately thrust
into another awkward social situation.

Gary Guarino, the
guy who my mom wanted to introduce me to, was already at the house. I
was forced to suck up my emotions and pretend to be friendly, but I
can say with certainty that I wasn't feeling any sparks when we met.
Not that I don't find him attractive. He's tall and lanky, with long
dark-brown hair and big doe eyes. Far more in my league than Trent
was, but a little too young for my taste, being four years my junior.

Mom must have
brought him home right after work, because they were both still in
their work uniforms and smelled like food. Not the most attractive
way to meet someone. Then again, I don't exactly look like a prize
either.

I made polite
conversation with them for a while before excusing myself outside.
After going through such a turbulent and emotional evening,
socializing with someone who thinks I'm their new potential love
interest isn't very appealing. Being so distant makes me feel kind of
like a bitch, but right now, I just want to be alone. Besides, even
though my mother isn't the best listener in the world, she can tell
when something is wrong with me, and I really don't want to launch
into a conversation about how I quit my job in front of a complete
stranger.

I sit on the front
porch and stare out across the street at the empty lot between two of
my neighbors. We live in a suburb about fifteen minutes outside of
the city. The lots are big, and many of them are still undeveloped,
which gives the neighborhood a woodsy feel to it.

My mind is a mess of
confusion and regret. There aren't many men whom I wish I hadn't
slept with, but Trent has definitely made the list. I should have
known better, should have known things would go wrong after meeting
him in the hotel room. Even back then, it was obvious he was messed
up. Instinct told me to stay away, but he was just too damned
tempting. And when I knew there might be a chance that I could have
him, I let my hormones trump my logic.

Perhaps if he hadn't
been my boss, this wouldn't be so hard. I've lost everything I gained
from my encounter with him, and it's just as much my fault as it is
his. Work relationships never last, though I doubt most spiral out of
control as quickly as ours did. Oh well. It's over. Now I'm back at
square one—unemployed and depressed.

For as much as I
wanted to just be alone, was waiting for Gary to leave so I could go
to my room and wallow in misery without seeming completely
anti-social and dismissive, I'm not allowed that luxury. The
chattering that was going on inside the house stops, and I hear
footsteps approaching the front door. I turn my head just in time to
see Gary coming out of it, and dread fills me with the realization
that I’m now trapped alone with him.

“
Hi.”
He shoves his hands in the pockets of his dark jeans, looking
somewhat shy as he sits on the patio chair across from me.

“
Hi,”
I sigh inadvertently, and there's not enough emotional energy left in
me to feel guilty about it.

“
You
look like you've had a long day.” Gary's eyes follow mine out
to the lot across the street.

“
Is
it that obvious?” I glance at him briefly, leaning forward and
allowing my shoulders to slump.

“
Thank
God it's Friday, right? I assume you have the weekend off.” He
smiles at me, but it seems forced.

“
I
do.” The weekend, and every day following until I can find
another job. I don't tell him that though. It's none of his business.

He looks back
towards the house. Inside, I can hear my mom messing around in the
kitchen. Hopefully, she's not making us dinner. If so, this is going
to be a much longer night than I feel up for. And I can't pretend to
be fine forever.

“
Your
mother is something else.”

“
She
is.” What, I don't know. Goofy. Angry. A mix of sweet and
bitter, with a large helping of disinterested.

“
Um,”
he hesitates, and I can feel the nervousness radiating from him, even
though I'm several feet away. “So, what are you doing this
weekend?”

My breath leaves me
in a long exhale. This is what I had been fearing. We got past the
introductions, and now we're at the part where he asks me out on a
date. And I have to let him down easy, hoping that it doesn't screw
up his relationship with my mother. She'll realize that trying to
hook us up was a bad idea tomorrow when they're working together, and
he's acting awkward towards her. It can't be helped though. I can't
even fake being interested right now.

“
Look,
Gary.” I turn to him, giving him more of my attention than I
have all afternoon. “I know my mom wanted to bring you over so
she could hook us up, but I'm really not interested in dating anyone
right now. To tell you the truth, I just got out of a tumultuous
relationship, and I need a bit of time to recover.” It feels
like a lie. Trent and I were never officially in a relationship. I'm
not sure what else to call it though.

Gary's expression is
blank, and for a moment, I worry he's going to be upset. Then a smile
curls the corners of his lips. “Oh, thank God.”

Now I'm the one
feeling offended. The way he said it makes it sound like he's
absolutely repulsed by me. Realizing that he made a mistake, Gary
looks over at me apologetically. “I'm sorry. I didn't mean it
like that. I'm just already kind of seeing someone else, and I really
like her.

“
When
your mom invited me over to look at the porch, I had a feeling she
was going to try to hook us up. She talks about you all the time,
about how we'd make a cute couple.” A soft blush covers his
cheeks, and I can't help but grin at how adorable it is. “You're
very pretty, but I'm not a player, and I wouldn't want to lead you
on.”

“
Thanks,
Gary. That is a relief. I've had enough guy problems recently.”
I wish I could bite back my words. They sound so pathetic, but I'm
still feeling a bit crazy from what happened in Trent's office.
Tomorrow, my emotions will stabilize. I'll pull myself together, and
things will return to normal—as normal as they can be when
you're twenty-four years old, unemployed, and living with your
mother.

“
I
know you don't know me very well, but maybe that's a good thing.”
Gary perks up now that the tension between us and our awkward
situation has dissipated. Knowing that neither of us is on the prowl
dials down the mood to casual. Already, I feel more relaxed around
him. “If you want to talk, I can give you a friendly ear to
listen and an unbiased opinion, if you need one.”