Authors: Mairi Wilson
“Did you see who delivered it, Barney?”
“No, Miss Shaw, sorry. I’ve only been on shift for half an hour. You’d have to ask Thomas when he’s back on duty tomorrow.”
Lexy nodded and handed Barney a coin. “Thanks anyway, Barney.”
She turned the envelope over in her hand as she walked thoughtfully out onto the verandah, so lost in her thoughts that she didn’t see the large figure in the winged rattan chair until his words made her lift her head.
“More billets-doux, Miss Shaw?”
Pendleton. Her heart sank.
“Mr Pendleton,” she said. “Good afternoon.”
He grimaced. “I suppose it’s pointless repeating my suggestion you call me Hugh? No matter. Won’t you join me? I’ve just ordered tea. Or perhaps we’re not really too far from the cocktail hour, if you’d prefer to get started in on the gin?”
“Thank you, but no. I hope you’ll excuse me, but I have work to do.”
“Work? Heavens. Thought you were on holiday?”
“Well, yes, I am.” Why did she feel the need to explain? “But I still have matters to attend to. Administrative tasks and so forth.”
“Of course. The aftermath of bereavement. I was so very sorry to hear about Miss Reid. And your mother too, of course.”
Lexy murmured something, but her mind was distracted. How did he know about her mother? Miss Reid, yes, he may well have heard about that. Ursula still had connections in Malawi, after all, but her mother? Lexy was sure she hadn’t mentioned her to him on her first encounter with the unpleasant man.
“Perhaps I can help?”
“I’m sorry?” Lexy pulled herself back to the present.
“With the admin. Boring old stuff isn’t it, but then it’s what we civil servants excel at. Be happy to give you a hand.”
“Kind of you, of course, but that really won’t be necessary, Mr Pendleton. Now if you’ll excuse me, I must …” Unintentionally, Lexy waved the envelope she still held unopened in her hand.
“Of course. Mustn’t keep you from your mystery message, must I?”
“Mr Pendleton, sir?” Barney appeared beside them.
“What, boy?”
“Telephone, sir.”
“Oh for goodness’ sake. Tell them I’m—”
“Urgent, sir, they said. Consular matters.” Barney flicked a glance at Lexy and she knew instantly he was lying. He was rescuing her. She swallowed a smile as the dapper bellhop bowed and ushered the lumbering frame of Hugh Pendleton ahead of him and out into the lobby, where, Lexy was sure, he’d find his urgent caller had tired of waiting for him to come to the phone.
She took the opportunity to descend the verandah steps and disappear round the side of the hotel to the further reaches of the grounds, more than a little rattled. The man was not a natural diplomat, that was clear. That offer of helping with her admin had been ridiculous, blatant. But what was it he wanted from her? What was he trying to find out? Was he working for David, somehow? Surely David’s money could buy him a more expert spy than that lumbering oaf.
When she was sure she was out of sight of the hotel and that Hugh Pendleton had been thrown off her scent, she sat down in one of the pergolas tucked away in quiet corners. She ripped open the envelope and pulled out a single sheet of thin paper.
Dear Lexy,
There are things you need to know. Meet me this evening, 7pm, at the old schoolroom in the hospital grounds.
Robert
So she hadn’t burnt all her bridges after all. Her conscience squealed, though. She still needed to apologise to Evie. She had behaved crassly, appallingly. Danny said grief had unhinged her and that latest outburst would suggest it had been an accurate description.
She looked at her watch. Yes. There was time, plenty of time. She’d go back to the hospital and apologise to Evie right now.
“You’re quite forgiven, Lexy dear. We’ve hardly been saint-like ourselves in any of this.
You
must forgive
us
, I suspect. It’s so hard to know what’s best. Please believe me when I say everything I’ve done has always and only been to help, to protect, those I love. To protect you, Lexy. I am frightened where all this might lead.”
“I understand that, but I have a right to know who I am. You don’t get to decide who will and who won’t be allowed their birthright. Do you even begin to understand how devastating all of this is for me? I thought losing my mother was bad enough, but now to find out that she lied—”
“I do wish you’d stop saying everyone’s been lying—”
“Evie, I don’t want to fight again. But really, what else is it but lying? Whatever the reasons, the end result is the same. The truth was withheld from me, deliberately, and I’ve grown up believing I was one person only to find I’m another. With a family. With a very colourful history.”
Evie sighed. “Yes. You’re right.”
“So you have to tell me everything now. You owe me that.”
“I’m not sure you’ll thank me.”
“I have a right to make that judgement for myself. Nothing you can say will be worse than anything I’m imagining. The truth, Evie. That’s all I’m asking.”
The old woman nodded.
It was late morning, May 1961, Evie remembered. The paper was sitting on the sofa where she’d left it earlier, shocked at what she’d read there, unable to understand why her friend would do such a thing, unsure how to greet her when the housekeeper announced Helen’s arrival.
“Evie, I know you’re disappointed in me.” Helen had sounded defensive as she swept into the room, getting straight to the point.
“No, no, of course I’m not.” Evie wasn’t sure that was entirely true, but Helen was her friend, whatever she did.
“You are.” Helen sighed. “I know you too well – I can tell. You’re trying so hard to be loyal and support me. I don’t know what I would do, would have done, without you, Evie. You and the children, of course.”
“And Ursula,” Evie added with a smile. “Don’t forget our distant friend.”
“Oh no. Let’s not forget Ursula.”
“Helen? That’s a little …”
“I know. I’m sorry. It’s been a … difficult … few weeks.”
“Well of course it has, my darling. Dear Gregory. You two were so close and it was all so very unexpected and … and it
has
only been a few weeks, so no wonder you’re not quite … yourself. But don’t you see? That’s why I don’t understand, why I’m …”
“Disappointed.”
“Surprised, let’s say, that you and Cameron have … If nothing else, it’s sudden to say the least. And to have already announced your engagement.”
Evie was feeling her way here. She didn’t want Helen to know how hurt she’d been when she’d read the announcement in
The Times
that morning. She’d had no inkling of it and she was sad that Helen hadn’t said anything to her. Evie had been with her every day since Gregory’s death. There’d been ample opportunity.
Helen wouldn’t meet her eyes, but Evie heard her sigh. Helen would know she’d hurt her. She must have had good reason, although it was hard to imagine what that might be.
“You’ve never even liked the man, Helen, and he’s done nothing at all for the business. You and Gregory spent your time putting right his mistakes, mopping up his scandals, his errors of judgement, call them what you will. In fact, you actively dislike him.”
“Dislike? Far too mild. I hate him.” Helen folded her arms across her chest and tilted her chin as she turned her head to stare out of the window behind her.
“Then why? I just don’t—”
“Because he knows, Evie. He
knows
.”
“He knows … what exactly … ?”
Helen turned back to look at Evie, head tipped to one side and an insincere smile on her face.
“No! Surely not. How could he? No one knows except us and—”
“Ursula. Yes.”
“But you don’t think she … Why would she?”
“I don’t know. But she must have done. How else?” Helen was pacing now, heels clicking smartly on the teak floor. “It hardly matters. If I don’t marry him, and agree to his ‘terms’, as he calls them, then he’ll tell the world that David isn’t mine. Isn’t Gregory’s. It will ruin Ursula, even now, even with her on the other side of the world, although frankly at the moment I’m so angry with her I really don’t care if she’s disgraced or not—”
“Don’t say that, you know she—”
“I don’t care! No. I’m not doing this for Ursula. I’m doing it for David.
My
David,
Gregory’s
son. He’s the innocent in all of this and I will do whatever is necessary to to protect him and his good name. My Ross too, and Izzie. I don’t want any of them dragged down, ruined by the scandal, scandal that could rock Buchanan’s and maybe even bring it down. And let’s not forget,” she said, bitterness sharpening her voice, “I did deceive my husband. For years. What kind of woman does that make me? Hardly a trustworthy one. No. It can’t come out now. Ever. It would make Gregory look a fool. I won’t have that.”
“But isn’t there another way? Marrying a man you despise is a little extreme, don’t you think? I can’t believe Cameron really wants to marry someone who hates him.” Evie stood and walked over to Helen, led her back to the settee and pulled her down to sit next to her. “He’s taunting you. Playing one of his cruel games. He won’t go through with it. It would hardly be a pleasant life for him either. He’s disreputable, self-indulgent, pampered and heaven only knows what, so he’s not going to deliberately make life difficult for himself, is he? Why would he?”
Helen shrugged thin shoulders, rested her head against the cushions. “Money. And jealousy.” She sounded so weary. “Anything Gregory had, Cameron wanted, or wanted something better. Believe me if there was another way I’d grab it with both hands and run a million miles from that … that …”
“You can’t do this. There
has
to be another way. We can find it togeth—”
“For God’s sake, Evie!” Helen’s head whipped round and Evie could see the anger on her face, her pale cheeks suddenly flushed scarlet with the heat of it. “There isn’t. Think about it. It isn’t just about good name and reputation. We have Buchanan’s to consider. Things are shaky enough as it is with Gregory’s death. I’m having to work hard to persuade our customers that I can continue to run the business without him – and to be honest even I’m not completely sure that I can. A scandal like this could bring the whole thing down about our ears. Look at who our customers are. Our whole business has been based on our work with the Missions. If we lose them, we lose everything. Simple as that. You may be a forgiving woman, Evie, but can you put your hand on your heart and tell me the Church, the Edinburgh Elders who hold the purse strings, share your compassion?”
Evie looked down at her hands clasped in her lap, tried to believe that they would, but Helen was right. Of course she was. She knew her business and her customers so well.
“No, I can’t.”
“So what else can I do? Without the Mission business, Buchanan’s will crumble. I’ve tried offering him money, but that’s not enough. He wants everything Gregory had. He wants me.” Helen stood again, crossed the room quickly and stepped out into the night. But not before Evie had seen her tears.
After a moment Evie followed her and the two friends leant side by side, resting their arms on the verandah railing and breathing in the fragrance of the blossoms around them, listening to the scratching of insects and the distant sound of the servants’ voices from their quarters.
“He laughed when I asked, begged, him to wait. To let at least a year elapse before we announced our engagement, but the thought of the scandal appeals to him, despite the risk that too poses to our business position. Just another way of dragging me down. He says I broke his heart. That I’m the only woman he could really have loved. That if I hadn’t rejected him, if I’d married him then, he’d have been a better man. Everything he is, everything he’s done, he says, is down to me. My fault.”
“But that’s just nonsense. It’s not rational … It’s … insane.”
“Yes.” Helen’s voice fell to a whisper. “And that worries me more than I can say.”
“I can’t let you do this.”
“I have to. And I will. But don’t think Cameron will have it all his own way. He will have more of a battle on his hands than he can imagine. There are things he doesn’t know. Things I can do to protect my children, myself.”
Evie shook her head, desperately trying to think of a way out for her friend, of a way of stopping this farce. But she couldn’t. All she could do was watch over her.
“Can I help? I’ll do whatever I can, whatever it takes to keep you safe.”
“You may have to, one of these days. But for now, just be what you always have been. My dearest, most trusted friend. And not a word of this to Ursula. Promise me.”
Evie’s heart was heavy as she nodded her agreement, knowing now she would be forever caught between the interests of her two closest friends, the rift between them that David’s birth had mended now widened beyond repair. And she’d been the one who’d suggested it all those years ago. How different things could have been if she hadn’t interfered …
*
“You need to leave now, Miss Shaw.”
The nurse spoke softly, stepped silently across the room to check Evie’s pulse. Evie hardly stirred. “All this talking is exhausting her, and we need her strong for her operation.”
It was already dark when Lexy left Evie’s room, and there was no point returning to the hotel just to turn around and come back again. She would be early for her meeting with Robert, but it was a gorgeous, balmy evening so it would be no hardship to sit on the schoolroom porch and wait for him. She followed the footpath round to the right and through the gate Robert had shown her when he’d taken her to see the bungalows just a couple of days before. When she’d made such a fool of herself inviting him to dinner, and then been so surprised that he and Audrey were together. She was glad they both seemed to have put it behind them. His note had been surprising, but then perhaps she’d misjudged him yet again and he really did want to help her. Had he found out which bungalow had been her parents’?