Authors: Riley Jean
“Where have you been hiding? We’ve missed you!” he squeezed me. I peeked over his shoulder and met Nathan’s eyes for a split second before I had to look away. I doubted everyone here felt the same about that sentiment.
Clearing my throat, I pulled back from him and smiled, trying to appear composed. “I’ve been around. I work with Gwen now. I’ve missed you too, Phoenix, how are you? Still drumming?”
“Hells yeah!” he shouted, then started striking the air with invisible drumsticks. “We’re playing tonight!”
I blinked, the pieces coming together just as I was engulfed in another hug.
“Wow! Scarlett Rossi!” Dirk husked in my ear. I’d been so engrossed in seeing Nathan that I hadn’t even noticed his best friends, Phoenix and Dirk, flanking him. They were all here, the whole testosterone half of our high school clique. I hadn’t seen any of them since graduation. Despite the edginess I felt around Nathan, I appreciated that the other two gave me warm welcomes.
“Look at you,” Dirk said. He released me from our hug, but held my hands out to the sides, appraising me. He cocked a devilish brow as his gaze traveled slowly from head to toes and then back. “A raven-haired beauty.”
Rolling my eyes, I playfully batted Dirk’s hands away and chuckled. The boy had it all in high school—money, looks, and a killer body courtesy of the varsity swim team. And he knew it. He was a helpless flirt and girls were defenseless against his games. All except me. I couldn’t care less about any of that stuff. I had fallen for his best friend, Nathan, because he made me laugh.
Between Nathan’s witty humor, Phoenix’s charm and Dirk’s sex appeal, they could have gotten any girl they wanted. Dropping its female members had surely been a smart move for the band.
“Oh, Dirk,” I teased with a shake of my head. “Still a heartbreaker, I see.”
He flashed his signature grin, taking that as a compliment. “Living the dream!”
I gave a sad smile. Life had changed so much for all of us. This year I had focused solely on moving forward, convinced there was nothing about the past or the old Scarlett worth missing. But right now I was coming dangerously close.
These three fun, hilarious, sweet boys starred in so many of my favorite memories. They had been great friends to me… before Nathan and I dated then broke up; before the guys became consumed in sex, drugs, and rock and roll; before Gwen became obsessed with her boyfriend; and before Lexi and I moved away. Once upon a time, we all had something really special that I believed would last forever. Instead of holding on, we let life rip it to shreds.
“So I guess you already know each other?” Ricky asked. I looked back and noted his small, amused smile. Ricky and I had been friends for years, but we never talked about specifics in our lives. Little did he know three of my closest friends from school manned the local band he brought me here to see.
“Small world,” I shrugged.
“Know her?”
Phoenix pffed and slung an arm around my shoulder. “We’ve known this girl back before her hair was curly.”
“Hmm,” Ricky bemused, his half smile in place. Of course I had known Ricky the longest—practically since we moved to California—almost as long as Lexi, and my hair had never not been curly.
“Yeah, since before we were even Sock Philosophy,” Dirk broke in, throwing an arm around my other shoulder.
Standing there between my two old friends made me feel that old twinge again.
Fine. I admit it—I missed them.
But things could never go back to the way they used to be. These boys had chosen a different path, and despite everything, it would be heartbreaking to watch. Still, it meant a lot that no matter how much time had passed, no matter how much we all changed, they still considered me a friend.
“And whadduya know?” Phoenix clapped Nathan on the back. “Looks like Nate was right all along!”
I looked between them, unsure of what he was referring to. “Right about what?”
He waved off my question. “Hey! You should sing with us tonight!”
My face heated at the memories of playing in Dirk’s garage… Nathan and I staring into each other’s eyes and singing our hearts out about teenage angst, defiance, and seizing the moment…
I fell in love in that garage. And sharing a microphone with him again didn’t seem like a good idea at all. No matter how much time passed, it would always be too soon for that.
My gaze flickered to Nathan and away again. There was no way he’d want me to sing with them, either. We still hadn’t spoken a word to each other, even after our initial shock wore off. But an awkward truce was better than the bitter spite we shared after our breakup in high school.
I swallowed and plastered on a smile. “Thanks. But I just came to watch tonight.”
“Aw, come on Scar,” Phoenix tugged on a curl and tried to sway me. “Just one song? It’ll be kickass, just like old times.”
Dirk leaned in my other ear with his own attempt at persuasion. “This time I’ll let you share
my
microphone.”
“No.”
All eyes zeroed in on the annoyed person who finally broke his silence with his own snapped retort. Just like that, the old flames of bitterness were back. I knew he wasn’t just coming to my defense; his hard expression aimed right at yours truly said enough. I could almost read his thoughts by the coldness in his eyes—he didn’t want me there at all. These were
his
friends now, and this was
his
band’s territory.
Well, eff that. I’d been invited to this party and I wasn’t leaving.
“I can answer for myself,
Nathan,”
I spoke just as frostily. How quickly it was escalating just by a comment, a look. I’d been perfectly content to ignore one another and settle for an awkward dance around the elephant in the room. But it appeared that we were going to revert back into bitter exes instead.
Too bad for him, I wasn’t the timid little girl I used to be, or even the passive aggressive girl I became after our breakup. I knew how to stand up for myself now. And if he dared to open that stupid mouth of his, I was ready to dish it back.
“Cool your panties,
Scarlett
. I was just agreeing with you.”
Ugh!
He knew it was one of my pet peeves when he said something insensitive then backpedaled with ‘sheesh, I was just kidding’—even though he totally wasn’t—making it seem like he did nothing wrong and I was just overreacting. He wasn’t fooling anyone. His sarcasm was too thick and his eyes were too arctic to believe it was a harmless comment. When the other boys met my eyes apologetically, I knew I wasn’t imagining things.
But I didn’t need their pity. I wasn’t a victim, I was a fighter. I could defend myself. So I lifted my chin and took it a step further. “No need to worry about my panties, Nathan. They’re cool enough with you around.”
Unaccustomed to my feistiness, Dirk and Phoenix laughed and goaded Nathan further. Having his best friends at my side made me feel wickedly powerful. As childish as it sounded,
he
started this. He made his distain clear when he could have just kept silent. I wouldn’t attack him like I had done to Lexi. But I wouldn’t let him get the final word in, either.
Nathan just smirked and made a vulgar gesture. “You forget how easily I could get you hot and wet, honey. One touch and you were like a fucking waterfall.”
Before I even had a chance to feel humiliated, Ricky stepped between us, shoving him square in the chest. “What did you just say to her?” he fumed.
“What’s wrong, man?” Nathan grinned darkly up at Ricky, foolishly happy to have gotten a rise out of him. “I thought you didn’t mind sharing.”
My mouth dropped open in indignation. Did he have a death wish?
“Hey, hey, heyyy,” Phoenix stepped between them and placed a hand on each chest. The two boys were prickling, standing at their full height, openly glaring at each other. What the hell was Nathan’s problem? Couldn’t we at least be civil for five minutes without spewing filth and hate?
“We’re all cool here, right guys?” Phoenix said, looking between the two. Phoenix had such a calming demeanor, it had the intended effect. The tension remained, but the danger slowly ebbed.
“Come on man, let’s go get ready for our first set,” Phoenix said. After a bit of coaxing, Nathan followed his friend, not tearing his defiant stare away from Ricky until the last second. When they passed me, Phoenix shrugged as if to say, “boys will be boys.” Nathan didn’t even look at me.
Before Dirk let me go, he leaned down and whispered in my ear. “Who’s the little heartbreaker, now?”
I rolled my eyes as he winked at me, then trailed after his band mates.
Me? A heartbreaker? Yeah. Right.
I scoffed at the thought. Nathan didn’t
want
me. That’s why he ended things between us. He wanted his music and freedom and drugs. And he got what he wanted. So a broken heart had nothing to do with whatever grudge he was still holding onto.
“Little shit,” Ricky griped beside me. His eyes were tight and focused in the direction where the boys had disappeared.
“Sorry about that.” I rubbed my temples.
I was positive Ricky was having regrets about inviting me out in public now. It seemed as though we ran into drama everywhere we went together. Whether it was Lexi’s advancements, Summer’s disgust, Kiki’s swooning, Vance’s wariness, or Nathan’s… whatever the hell that was… no one ever just left him alone.
“What?” He looked down at me and shook his head. “No, that’s not your fault. That’s just how he is.”
My face scrunched doubtfully. That was not at all
‘just how he is.’
Ricky may have known the band, but I knew the real Nathan. He was always joking around and laughing. It was
me
that brought out this angry side.
“We had a falling out in high school,” I explained. “We never patched it up. That’s why he wouldn’t talk to me, and then why he was being an asshat.”
“It’s got nothing to do with you,” he insisted. “That guy has had it out for me for years.”
That was news to me. “Why?”
He shrugged. “It’s over a girl or something. Thinks I bagged his girlfriend.”
I blinked in surprise. “Did you?”
“I don’t know, kiddo. Bro’s nuts. Want another drink?”
I nodded, dismissing his explanation immediately. That couldn’t be it. Nathan never had girlfriends. Far as I knew, he never cared about anybody but himself.
We got our drinks and settled in in the back while the boys set up on the stage area. Dirk was adjusting his bass guitar straps when a circle of girls screamed out his name. He aimed his infamous grin right at them while he played a few chords to warm up. “Good evening ladies,” he purred into the microphone, which was followed by more hoots and howls. Then he addressed the entire backyard audience. “Everyone having a good time tonight?”
Another round of drunken shouts erupted.
Phoenix drummed a random beat, ending with a loud crash of cymbals. “We’re Sock Philosophy and this first song is dedicated to an old friend of ours!” He shot me a huge grin while the crowd cheered him on, and he twirled a drumstick between his fingers.
I blushed at the attention, but had to laugh. Phoenix always had a way of putting me at ease despite stress or nerves. It had been a long time since I’d heard them play together, so I was actually looking forward to it. Maybe tonight wouldn’t be so bad after all.
That was until Nathan grabbed his mic, eyes also trained on me, and added, “It’s called…
‘Fuck Buddy.’”
He dropped his head, shaggy hair tumbling over his face, and started strumming a fast, wild beat. Phoenix and Dirk exchanged a confused glance, then jumped in like the semi-professionals they were.
As the lyrics began, he looked up and sang them right to me. Every word was filled to the brim with bitterness and betrayal. During our time together, we never really talked about our feelings because I was afraid of pushing him away. So many issues remained unresolved at the end because we couldn’t stand to be alone in a room together, much less communicate. Now he was bearing his soul in a way I never would have thought him capable. It was the most stunningly frightening performance I had ever witnessed.
The crowd roared, feeding off the waves of raw emotion pouring from center stage. To everyone else, he was just another musician full of presence and angst. To me, it was a bullet to the chest.
No doubt about it, the tenderhearted old Scarlett would have cried. As it was, even the new me felt close. This was personal and it brought everything with Nathan to the surface: my first love, our complicated relationship, his rejection, and the lie that Vance told me about only recently.
I couldn’t remember the last time I had been this hurt, this outraged at him. And I didn’t understand why. What in the world had I ever done to warrant this anger? Those words?
He
was the one who strung me along.
He
was the one who had dumped me.
He
was the one who invented that damn rumor! And now he was flaunting his hatred for me in front of an entire crowd of people.
I almost missed it when Ricky leapt from his seat. In a flash I rushed forward to stop him.