Vain - Part Two (The Vain Series Book 2) (4 page)

"I need to get out more, Lex." Kayla rubs her hand across her forehead. "So you're screwing a photographer and he tells you that he watches hookers get off and then he takes their picture?"

"Technically, yes." I feel the need to qualify it." I mean he didn't tell me that when we were in the middle of having sex."

"How do you feel about it?" She moves the martini glass she's been drinking from for the past hour away from her on the bar. "I mean, how do you feel knowing he's watching hookers get off in his bed?"

It's eating me alive from the inside out. "I don't know," I say in a half lie. I know it was before Noah and I met. Wait. I assume it was. Maybe some of those photographs were taken after I showed up at his apartment. Maybe he'd been taking those pictures until the day before his New York show. I have no idea and the fact that I don't, that's what's ripping me apart. After he'd brazenly told me that the other night, I made an excuse about needing to grade papers and I took off. I didn't want to jump all over him about it knowing he'd likely tell me it was part of
his process
.

"What's the status with the two of you now?"

"We don't have a status." We don't. The only definition of our relationship that I can come up with is casual lovers.

"Are you going to tell him that it's bugging you out?" She runs her finger along the edge of the glass.

"I don't know." I shrug my shoulders. "He's kind of eccentric."

"How so?" The corner of her mouth pops up in a slight grin. "Does he wear socks to bed?"

"I've never seen him wear socks." I laugh. "He's almost always nude."

"Shut the fuck up." She bounces on the edge of her bar stool. "Is he hot?"

I have to close my eyes to temper my response. I pull in a breath to steady the sudden ache in my body. "He's the hottest guy I've ever met. Seriously hot, Kayla. Big, built and tattoos everywhere."

"Fuck me," she purrs. "It sounds like Beck has some serious competition."

"Beck?" I tap my finger across the bar. "Brighton Beck is no match for Noah Foster. No match in any way."

"Noah?" She leans forward, her eyes bright. "Noah Foster? Are you fucking the Noah Foster, the photographer who takes all those naked pictures?"

That non-disclosure agreement I signed just went to hell in a hand basket. "That's the one. I'm fucking the one and only Noah Foster."

***

"Now that you came down my throat I need to tell you something." I run my tongue over my lips, capturing the lingering taste of Noah's release.

"You sucked me off so you could confess some sin?" He leans back on his bed, his arms folded behind his head. "I seriously don't give a shit what it is. That was amazing."

I slide on top of him, rubbing my wetness against his stomach. "You're so handsome. I wish you could see what I see."

He smiles slightly at my words before he dips his cheek into the crumpled sheets, hiding his scar. "You're the only person…no one has said that to me since it happened."

I lean forward, tilting his chin with my hand so he's facing me directly. "I've never seen anyone as gorgeous as you." I run my lips across his cheek, coursing them over his scar. "Every time I'm near you my heart beats a little faster."

He takes a heavy swallow as his lips touch mine softly and gently. "I've never met anyone like you, Alexa. You're beautiful. Inside, outside, all of it."

I pull my body back up, rubbing my breasts along his chest as I do. "I wish I could stay in this room with you always."

"You can." He nods. "I never leave here."

"I know." I want to press him on that. I want him to come to my place so he can see my world the same way I see his. I want him to meet Kayla and Sadie. I want him to walk down the street holding my hand. I want our lives to exist beyond his apartment.

"What do you need to tell me?" His hand lazily runs across my right nipple. It instantly swells as an ache races through it.

"I told two people about us." I trace my fingers over his knuckles, silently encouraging him to twist my nipple again.

"Who?" His brows shoot up as his mouth curves into a subtle grin.

"Two of my friends." I close my eyes briefly. "Kayla and Sadie."

"Kayla and Sadie," he repeats back. "What did you tell Kayla and Sadie?"

"I told them that the Noah Foster was fucking me." I lean back and slowly pull my aching sex across his cock. The thick root presses against my clit, causing me to involuntarily moan.

He reaches to the edge of the bed where he threw several condom packages when I was undressing. "Did you tell them how good it was?" he growls before ripping one foil package open with his teeth.

I shift back giving him the access he needs to sheath his cock. He pulls quickly on my hips, directing me over him, grazing my folds across the hardness.

"Only Kayla," I murmur. "I told her."

"Goddamn you're so fucking wet." He glides my hips back until the tip of his cock is pressing against my entrance. "Tell me what you told, Kayla."

I groan as he pushes his thickness into me. It's so much. There's still a delicious pain whenever he enters me. His cock stretches my body. "That it was the best sex…" I moan loudly when he adjusts his hips and he hits my most sensitive spot. "The best sex I've ever had."

"I'm your best." He closes his eyes as his hands dart to my thighs. "You're my best."

I lean forward, my hands resting on either side of his head as I glide my hips over him, pulling his cock slowly deeper and then almost completely out. The sensation of the friction of the wide crown pulling against my moist tissues is sheer torture and heaven all rolled into one.

"I can't take it," he hisses between clenched teeth as he effortlessly rolls us over in one silky movement, our bodies still connected.

I groan at the sensation of his cock stretching me. I wrap my legs around his torso, giving him more depth of pleasure. I'm rewarded with a grunt as he finds his rhythm. Tonight it's slow, leisurely, graceful strokes.

"You're so perfect, Alexa." His hands grab mine and pull them over my head. "Your pussy is mine."

"Fuck me, Noah," I whisper into his mouth. "Take it. It's yours."

His eyes bore into mine as he thrusts deeper with each stroke. "You love when I fuck you."

"I love it," I parrot back, twisting my hips to meet his. I feel the edge of an orgasm tempting me already.  My sex clenches around his cock, my body readying for its climax.

"Come beautiful Alexa," he growls against my lips. "Show me what I do to you."

I cry his name loudly as the tension breaks through me. My body trembles. I can't stop it. I won't. I let the orgasm wash over me as he thrusts even harder.

He pulls harder on my hands, stretching me further, driving his cock into me with a deep grunt with each surge of his hips. He pulls back as he calls my name before his teeth grab the flesh above my nipple and he pumps out his own heated desire.

"You haven't told me much about your new job." His breath runs a path across my forehead as I lean on his chest.

I trace a finger along the intricate lines of the tattoo on his shoulder. "I love it," I whisper. I do love it. Teaching science to seven-year-olds was fast becoming my favorite part of each day. I knew that I'd enjoy teaching but now that I was getting to experience the hands-on time that I'd been craving, I had no question within my mind that I'd made the right career choice.

"Do they call you Miss Jackson?" I can feel his lips curve into a wide smile against my forehead.

"Yes." I flatten my hand against the muscles of his abdomen. "I love working with them."

His chest lifts, then falls. "I used to take pictures of children. That was a lifetime ago."

My head darts up so I can look in his eyes. "You used to take pictures of children?"

"In college." He nods his chin. "At one of those department store photo departments."

"The ones with the gaudy cartoon backgrounds that children are terrified of?" I cross my arms across his chest as I watch his expression.

"Exactly like that."

"Was it fun?" I bite back a smile at the idea of Noah with children. He's so imposing and intimidating with his tattoos. He likely didn't have them back then. He didn't have the scar either.

He nods his head slowly up and down. "It was a blast."

"Maybe you could come visit my class one day." I brace for his anticipated reaction. "I could ask the principal.  She might be okay with it." I doubt that she would. The moment I mention that I want to bring world renowned photographer Noah Foster to class she'll probably lock all the doors. A man who takes nude pictures for a living likely isn't welcome in her grade school. She's the definition of prim and proper. I still want him to know it's my wish.

His body tenses as he pulls back slightly. "I'll think about it."

"I'd love for you to see where I work," I add, pressing my luck. Pushing him to leave the apartment is treading on dangerous emotional ground. "If you don't want to come when the kids are there, maybe after school one day when the classroom is empty."

"Maybe." He brushes his lips over my forehead. "I'm going to get a beer. Do you want one?"

I shake my head as he slides his body from under mine. "No. I'm good." I was far from good. Watching him retreat back into the sheltered cocoon he'd built around himself was breaking my heart a little more each day.

***

"What do you want me to get you for your birthday?" Sadie clears the dinner plate from in front of me. "We could go somewhere for a weekend or maybe a spa day?"

"Sure, either of those would be great," I say with whatever genuine excitement I can muster. "It's still a couple of weeks away. We don't have to make plans yet, do we?"

"I talked to Kayla about your birthday dinner." She slides a bowl of gelato across the table towards me. "We're going to do it at Axel. You're good with that, right?"

I nod my head not certain that I heard everything she just said. "Whatever works for you is good."

"Is there anyone from the school you want to invite?"

I stare at her, watching her savor the taste of the cold treat. "From the school?"

"The people you work with there?" She cocks a sculpted brow. "Do you have friends there?"

I know she's talking about my birthday. I've heard the excitement ringing through her voice and we've each always taken on the task of planning the other's birthday celebration but the text that Brighton sent me right before I arrived at Sadie's place is haunting me.

We're not done. Call me. I'm in Boston.

The knowledge that Brighton is once again somewhere near me is jarring. Seeing him in Manhattan had unwound me completely and now that I was spending more and more time with Noah, I just wanted Brighton to fade into my past as a horrible decision I once made.

"Alexa, where are you?" Sadie's standing next to me now, her hand resting on my shoulder. "What's wrong? Is it Noah?"

"No." I pat her hand with my own. "Noah and I are fine."

"Will he come to your birthday party?" She doesn't even try to mask the eagerness woven into the question. "I want to meet him so badly."

"I can ask him," I mutter under a half-breath. "I don't think he'll want to come though."

"You're dating now, aren't you?" She moves back around the table to sit across from me. "Or is it just one of those casual hook up things?"

"It's somewhere in the middle."

"What does that mean?" She scowls. "You're not letting him use you just for sex, are you?"

I laugh at the bold question. "If anyone is using anyone, it's me using him."

"He's that good, huh?" She bites her lip. "Better than anyone else?"

"He's in a class of his own." I wink across the table at her.

She stares at me, her eyes wide. "Do you see him a lot?"

"A few times a week," I offer. "I've been really busy with work and we're not moving too fast."

"That sounds like dating to me. You should ask him to come to your birthday party."

"I'll ask," I acquiesce. "Don't expect a miracle."

"Have you sold any of the pictures from your show yet?" I sit with a sheet draped around my body, my back leaning against the headboard of Noah's bed.

"Why? Do you need a loan?" He pulls his head back a touch so he can look at me from his position at the foot of the bed. "You're not making enough on tips with your side job delivering sandwiches?"

"I never quite get the sandwich delivered, do I?" I cock my head to the side. I'd actually laughed out loud today when Noah texted me asking me to pick up a sandwich for him at the restaurant. He told me to put it on his tab there so I'd ordered twenty and spent the next ninety minutes near the homeless shelter a few blocks from his apartment visiting with the people who could use the food the most. "You ordered twenty sandwiches today, by the way."

"Twenty?" He lifts his head up so he can look directly at me. "I was starving."

"You were." I don't dive into an explanation. There's no need to.

"You're a generous soul, Alexa." His eyes narrow. "Have you always been?"

"No," I chuckle at the question. "I'm pretty self-centered. I'm like you."

A slow grin pours over his lips. "I'm self-centered?"

"Maybe that's not quite the right word." I pull my knees up, wrapping the sheet around them. The heat of the orgasm I had not more than a few minutes ago when Noah was inside of me, is now giving way to a chill. "You're arrogant, or maybe it's more about being in control."

"I like being in control." His hand brushes against his cheek and over the scar. "I've lost a lot in the moments when I haven't been in control."

"When you were stabbed?" Tempering the question isn't an option. My curiosity about what happened to Noah has never wavered.  I haven't pressed the subject because it's always been obvious that talking about the scar is his least favorite thing to do. All I know with certainty is that he loved a woman who loved another man and that man attacked Noah.

"I didn't see it coming." He rolls over so he can sit up on the bed. "I had no idea she was living with another man."

The words hit a place within me that instantly brings up Brighton's image. "How long were you two involved?"

"Months." He wrings his hands together, forming a firm ball and then letting them slide apart. "He was away all the time. I didn't ask her if she was involved with anyone. Why would I?"

I don’t answer the rhetorical question. With Brighton it was different. I had researched him online after Sadie gave me his name. I had read all the articles from the papers in New York about how his girlfriend, Liz, was hurt in a serious car accident and how he had dropped everything to take her to Paris to get her the best care possible. I knew about her. I asked about her. In my sordid emotional threesome, Brighton was the liar.

"You said you loved her?" I whisper, wanting desperately to know about the woman he never speaks of.

"Very much," he offers. His face is impassive as he stares past me to a spot on the wall behind me. "She's the only woman I've ever loved."

"What's her name?" It's a detail that I've ached to know. The knowledge of it won't hold any particular meaning to me. That's not why I'm asking him. I want to see if he'll share.  I want to know if that barrier that he's built around himself that day will start to fall.

"It's not important anymore." His words are clipped and terse. "It was a long time ago."

"How long?"

"A few years." He pushes his legs out as if he's about to stand but he doesn't. The way he's fisting his hands at his side is a clear indicator that he's restraining his desire to run from the room and hide from my questions.

"What happened to the man?" My throat tightens as the question leaves my lips. "The man who stabbed you…is he in jail?"

"He's dead." His dark eyes catch mine, his jaw tightens and he leans forward balancing his hand on the bed. "I killed him."

***

"You look terrified, Alexa." He's beside me now. "You're not scared of me, are you?"

The words aren't meant to taunt me. He's searching my face for a reaction and judging by the way his eyes keep darting to my legs, he's waiting for me to jump up and run for the hills. "I'm not." My voice is shaky, but the tone is even.

"You're lying." His finger catches my chin to pull my face towards his.

My eyes blaze down his cheek, marveling at the understated violence of the scar. The slight growth of beard does little to conceal it, the jagged edge jutting out from beneath it. The marred tissue so damaged that hair can't find its place there. It's become a part of his skin, a permanent fixture on his face.  "You don't scare me." The words sound too defensive. If I'm being honest, he's imposing, dark and very intimidating.

"He was trying to kill her." His hand circles my chin, pulling it into his grasp. "He would have killed her if I hadn't done something. He stabbed me and when he thought I was done he turned around and stabbed her in the arm. He was going for her neck when I stopped him."

I open my lips to ask. I need to ask. I want to know how.

His eyes settle on my mouth. I watch in focused silence as he pulls his tongue across his own lips, moistening first the top and then the bottom. "I broke his neck." I pull back slightly but he stays me with his hand. He leans closer yet until his lips are hovering against mine. "I put my hands around his neck and I killed him."

I recoil sharply and his hand drops from my face, falling with a dull thud into his lap. He stares at it before he pulls his steely gaze back to me. The intensity is still there but it's shadowed by something else. Regret. It might be sadness. It's a veil of something that I haven't seen before.

I shift slightly, my hand involuntarily jumping to his cheek. I trace the scar with my finger, marvelling at the length of it. I stare at him in silence, the only sound in the room the rhythmic ticking of a clock on the wall behind us.

"I'll understand…" His breath stalls as his eyes lock with mine. "If you want to go."

"I'm not going anywhere."