Valentine's Child (9 page)

This life …?

Setting the plant on his desk, she leaned over and deposited a quick peck on his cheek. He caught a whiff of perfume, heavy, expensive and nameless, before she backed away. Caroline couldn’t handle hugs and sloppy affection, but then, Jake realized wryly, neither could he. They were both dispassionate to a fault, which was why, he supposed, he’d felt his skin crawl at the thought of getting married on Valentine’s Day — a suggestion that had come up recently from a surprising source.

“So, what’s the news this early morning?” Caroline asked, perching on a corner of his desk. Her breasts lay directly in his line of vision. Jake gazed at them through half-closed lids, wondering vaguely why his body didn’t react to her femininity. There was a time when he’d been consumed by sex in any way, shape or form. His teen years had been full of unrequited lust and a few conquests. Then at college, a few more. Then finally back to Caroline and a new, more mature relationship that had eventually moved to the bedroom.

But he never again felt those raging, thrilling shots of pure desire he experienced with Sherry Sterling.

“Jill Delaney called and I gave her an extension on her rent,” he said.

Caroline clucked her tongue. “She’s using you.”

“I know.”

“You’re not falling for her, are you?” she teased.

Jake shook his head, irritated with her for no good reason. “What the hell is it with Tim, anyway? He’s got three kids to think about. They’re his responsibility, but he expects Jill to carry the entire burden.”

“And you,” Caroline reminded.

“He doesn’t know I give her a break on the rent.”

“Ha. Guys like Tim expect it. He’s always been a loser.” Caroline smoothed back a strand of hair. “No sense of responsibility.”

“You got that right,” Jake muttered, irritated anew that he was agreeing with her. “If he and Jill hadn’t broken up, he’d probably have a dozen kids by now and not care for any of them.”

“You’re just mad because he’s self-indulgent and you’re careful and concerned.” Caroline touched her finger to the tip of his nose, smiling like a proud mother. Jake’s annoyance with her intensified but he kept it to himself.

Besides, she was infuriatingly correct. Tim’s behavior reminded Jake of Rex, although Jake’s father had at least attempted to make financial reparation for his actions — or so Jake had been told. But the whole idea of indiscriminate fatherhood hit some tender part of his soul that had been hurt when he was young and had never quite recovered.

“As I recall, you sowed a few wild oats in high school yourself that could’ve ended in disaster,” Caroline reminded him.

“If I’d fathered a child, believe me I would’ve taken care of it.”

“Hmm.”

She sounded suspiciously disbelieving.

“Tina Phillips was not pregnant when she went back to California,” Jake growled, covering old, old ground.

“I wasn’t thinking of Tina.”

“Then who are you thinking of?”

“There were other girls.”

“Oh, right.”

“There were.” She studied her nails.

“I was there. I ought to know.”

“I could name one.”

Jake’s gut tightened. He knew where this was going and now he was really irked. Refusing to fall into the trap, he stayed silent. Caroline, however, seemed intent on making this an issue. “You know who I mean.”

“I didn’t keep a scorecard,” Jake declared through his teeth. “And I never got anybody pregnant.”

“Okay, okay.” Caroline suddenly capitulated, lifting her hands in surrender. Maybe she was as tired of the subject as he was. “Let’s drop it.”

Perversely, Jake now found himself wanting to jab the needle a little bit more. “You’re not talking about
Sherry.
” Caroline didn’t immediately answer, but the skin on her face drew tightly over her fine bones.

“I don’t want to talk about her.”

“Then why did you bring it up?”

She glanced at him, then gazed out the window, the corners of her mouth turning down. Jake’s annoyance melted. What was he doing? What were they doing to each other? “Sherry and I were — ” he broke off, unable to find the words.

“What?” Caroline pressed softly.

“Nothing. An infatuation that lasted a few months, that’s all.”

“Do you ever think about her?”

He shook his head, though he
did
think about her sometimes. He’d certainly thought about her last night after their run-in. Memories had danced inside his head so hotly that he felt almost hung over this morning, as if he’d indulge in some wild, bacchanalian orgy.

“You talked to my mother, didn’t you?” Jake realized. “She told you Sherry was in town.”

Caroline nodded. “It just kind of took me aback.”

“It’s all over and done with. Sherry left just before graduation. For God’s sake, Caroline, I was eighteen. That was so long ago, I can barely remember it.”

“
I
remember,” she said softly, and there was a wealth of feeling in those few words.

He gazed at her thoughtfully, uncomfortably. “Things matter too much when you’re young. It wouldn’t be the same now.”

She choked back a laugh. “Well, I hope things matter now!”

“You know what I mean.”

Caroline was reflective. “You had a hard time getting over her, Jake.”

“Yes. I did.” He and Sherry had had a huge fight and then she was gone. Straightening his shoulders, Jake said, “You know all about it.”

“It’s just that sometimes I think if it had just faded away, it would’ve been better. For me. And you,” she added haltingly. “Why do you think she came to see you now?”

“She said she didn’t come to see me.”

“Patrice said she did.”

Jake’s pulse jumped, but he hid his reaction, realizing Caroline was feeling too insecure to understand. “Patrice can’t stand Sherry. She never could. God knows why. Maybe because Sherry didn’t live ‘on the water.’”

“Don’t be so hard on your mother,” Caroline defended quickly, hearing the implied rebuke. Her feelings paralleled Patrice’s too closely for her to take any criticism in that direction.

“Don’t be so kind. Patrice can take care of herself.”

Caroline curled her fingernails into her palms. “Would I be out of line if I asked you not to see her again?”

“Sherry?”

“I know it’s silly.” She lifted one shoulder helplessly.

“It is silly,” Jake agreed.

“I know, but, will you not see her?”

Jake narrowed his eyes at his fiancée, aware of undercurrents he’d never heretofore suspected beneath Caroline’s placid exterior. “I don’t even want to see her, but if I run across her, I’ll talk to her.”

She didn’t like the answer but she could hardly lay down the law on an issue that was so old. “Just don’t go out of your way, okay?”

“Caroline!” Jake laughed at her fears, both touched and irritated at the same time.

“Promise,” she demanded, blue eyes gazing anxiously into his.

“What is this?”

“I don’t know. I was just so in love with you, and all you could think about was Sherry Sterling.”

Her passion surprised him. She was incredibly intense, and it was so out of character that Jake could only stare. With a feeling of unreality, he lifted his hands in surrender. What did it matter, anyway? Sherry Sterling was a chapter from his past.

Ten-fifteen and Beachtime Coffee spilled over with people. Sherry felt positively guilty about hoarding one of the few tables all to herself, but she was powerless to move. Apathy had settled over her at the chore she’d been given. Why couldn’t J.J. Beckett just be a bittersweet memory? That was where he belonged, between the pages of a faded photo album, occupying a tender, but miniscule, corner of her heart. He was her first love. That was all she wanted him to be.

Unfortunately, he was so much more.

Drawing a deep a deep breath, she inhaled the scent of coffee and listened to the amiable chatter around her. Then she made the mistake of closing her eyes, or maybe it was a calculated move by her nagging mind, and another memory hit her: the first time she and J.J. made love in the Beckett tree house.

It was the beginning of senior year. She’d worked at Bernie’s all summer and slowly, little by little, she’d drawn closer to J.J. whose reasons for dropping by after work grew thinner and thinner until he made no pretense at all that he was stopping in to see her. This put Sherry into orbit. It was unbelievable. The word on the street was that J.J. Beckett and Sherry Sterling were an item–
and it was true.

First day of school. The other girls glared at her in envy and disbelief. She could read it in their faces: what’s she got that’s so great? Sherry basked in the glory of it. She didn’t dare tell them that apart from a few moments alone, when he’d either driven or walked her home — she still hadn’t gotten over her fear of him seeing her ramshackle house so those times were few — they hadn’t shared much of anything except that one kiss.

That all changed after the first football game. It was a hot night and Sherry waited near the sweating cheerleaders for the game to end and for J.J. to be all hers. She still detested football. It was a brutal sport in the same league as boxing, as far as she was concerned. But she kept those thoughts firmly to herself and after a fabulous game where J.J. threw seven completed passes to Tim Delaney, she was ushered away from the screaming fans by Mr. Quarterback himself for a secluded drive up the beach and a make-out session that left her breathless.

“Just don’t bite me again,” he whispered after their first bout of frantic kissing.

Sherry struggled with the gearshift knob, which stubbornly inhibited how close they could get to each other. “I only bite people who deserve it,” she murmured, thrilled by his low-throated chuckle

“I’ve got to get an automatic,” was his response before his mouth was crushed against hers again and he twisted around so the gearshift was his problem.

Heaven. Pure heaven. That’s what it was. Their trips to an isolated spot on the beach became more frequent. At first she tried to play it cool. She wanted him to think she didn’t care that much. It was safer that way. But in truth, her old attraction was revved up, full throttle. With every kind gesture and happy grin he rained on her, she lost herself a little more. Like an undertow sucking her beneath its deceptively calm surface, she felt herself pulled down under the power J.J. Beckett’s personality. She told herself that he was a heartbreaker; his reputation had been earned honestly. She still remembered how he’d kissed her the night he’d nearly frozen to death from hypothermia. That one kiss — the one she reviewed in her head almost nightly — had told her everything. She
knew
his advances weren’t to be trusted.

But Sherry’s heart was involved now, and her careful conscience was ignored. She and J.J. began engaging in some heavy petting and although she told herself not to be stupid, she
wanted
him.

Then one day in the girls’ bathroom she overheard some disturbing news about J.J.’s feelings for her — news she didn’t want to believe.

She was inside the stall, just getting ready to leave, when she heard Annie, a friend of Caroline’s, talking with several other girls, among them one Sherry liked, Summer Mape. It was a riveting conversation and Sherry couldn’t help eavesdropping.

“You know what he wants from her,” Annie was saying, heaving a huge sigh. “I mean, I love J.J. to death but he certainly moves through the women, y’know? This Sherry’s too easy. He’ll be sick of her so fast it’ll be epic.”

“You really think so?” one of the listeners asked her eagerly. Everyone loved to think some other girl was a slut.

Sherry stood still as a statue.

“Well, she doesn’t have a curfew. She’s hanging around all the time. Her dad’s a drunk and her mom’s a basket case. I heard my parents talking. Sherry’s clinging to J.J. for dear life, if you know what I mean. Personally, I feel sorry for her.”

“Maybe he really likes her.”

“Oh, he
does
like her,” Annie agreed earnestly. “He likes her a lot. But it won’t last. That’s just J.J.’s way. As soon as they’re won — ” she snapped her fingers “ — he’s on to the next one. And he always stays friends, which is the worst ‘cause it just gives them false hope. Take a lesson — never give it up to J.J. Beckett. Remember Tina?”

Sherry leaned closer to the stall door, straining to hear. She knew all the J.J. Beckett stories but now that she was involved with him she wanted to hear them again. Tina may have been a notch in J.J.’s belt but that didn’t mean Sherry would be. J.J. and Tina had been just a hook-up. Everyone knew that.

Annie’s voice lowered confidentially. “Tina tried to trap him. She even told him she was pregnant.”

“Dumb,” one of the girls breathed.

“I know, but J.J.’s mom took care of everything. Paid her off and shipped her back to California. I think she had an abortion.”

“I thought that was just a rumor. You’re sure she was pregnant?” This was from Summer whom Sherry knew to be cautious about unsubstantiated rumors. Thank God someone was.

“Tina didn’t leave school for nothing,” Annie pointed out frostily. The other girls murmured their agreement, and Annie added, “She stalked him like a psycho, poor bitch.”