“I thought that at first, but now I’m not so sure. He’s never tried to hurt me. He just seems like he wants something. And then . . . all those other ghosts seemed to want something too—even the ones I didn’t know. Why?”
Dimitri gave me a sage look. “You have a theory.”
“I do. I was thinking about what Victor said. He mentioned that because I’m shadow-kissed—because I died—I have a connection to the world of the dead. That I’ll never entirely leave it behind me.”
His expression hardened. “I wouldn’t put a lot of stock in what Victor Dashkov tells you.”
“But he knows things! You know he does, no matter how big an asshole he is.”
“Okay, supposing that’s true, that being shadow-kissed lets you see ghosts, why is it happening now? Why didn’t it happen right after the car accident?”
“I thought of that,” I said eagerly. “It was something else Victor said—that now that I was dealing in death, I was that much closer to the other side. What if causing someone else’s death strengthened my connection and now makes this possible? I just had my first real kill. Kills, even.”
“Why is it so haphazard?” asked Dimitri. “Why does it occur when it does? Why the airplane? Why not at Court?”
My enthusiasm dimmed a little. “What are you, a lawyer?” I snapped. “You question everything I’m saying. I thought you were going to have an open mind.”
“I am. But you need to too. Think about it. Why this pattern of sightings?”
“I don’t know,” I admitted. I sagged in defeat. “You still think I’m crazy.”
He reached out and cupped my chin, tipping my face up to look at his. “No. Never. Not one of these theories makes me think you’re crazy. But I’ve always believed the simplest explanation makes sense. Dr. Olendzki’s does. The ghost one has holes. But, if you can find out more . . . then we may have something to work with.”
“We?” I asked.
“Of course. I’m not leaving you alone on this, no matter what. You know I’d never abandon you.”
There was something very sweet and noble about his words, and I felt the need to return them, though mostly I ended up sounding idiotic. “And I won’t ever abandon you, you know. I mean it . . . not that this stuff ever happens to you, of course, but if you start seeing ghosts or anything, I’ll help you through it.”
He gave a small, soft laugh. “Thanks.”
Our hands found each other’s, fingers lacing together. We stood like that for almost a full minute, neither of us saying anything. The only place we touched was our hands. The breeze picked up again, and although the temperature was probably only in the forties, it felt like spring to me. I expected flowers to burst into bloom around us. As though sharing the same thought, we released our hands at the same time.
We reached my dorm shortly after that, and Dimitri asked if I’d be okay going in on my own. I told him I’d be fine and that he should go do his own thing. He left, but just as I was about to step through the lobby door, I realized my overnight bag was still back at the med clinic. Muttering a few things that would have gotten me a detention, I turned around and hurried back in the direction I’d just come.
Dr. Olendzski’s receptionist motioned me toward the examining rooms when I told her why I was there. I retrieved the bag from my now-empty room and turned into the hall to leave. Suddenly, in the room opposite mine, I saw someone lying in bed. There was no sign of any of the clinic’s staff, and my curiosity—always getting the better of me—made me peek inside.
It was Abby Badica, a senior Moroi.
Cute
and
perky
were the adjectives that usually came to mind when I described Abby, but this time, she was anything but. She was bruised and scratched up, and when she turned her face to look at me, I saw red welts.
“Let me guess,” I said. “You fell.”
“W-what?”
“You fell. I hear that’s the standard answer: Brandon, Brett, and Dane. But I’ll tell you the truth—you guys need to come up with something else. I think the doctor’s getting suspicious.”
Her eyes went wide. “You know?”
It was then that I realized my mistake with Brandon. I’d come at him demanding answers, which had made him reluctant to share anything. Those who’d questioned Brett and Dane had faced similar results. With Abby, I realized that I just had to act like I already knew the answers, and then she’d give up the information.
“Of course I know. They told me everything.”
“What?” she squeaked. “They swore not to. It’s part of the rules.”
Rules? What was she talking about? The royal-bashing vigilante group I’d been picturing didn’t really seem like the type to have rules. There was something else going on here.
“Well, they didn’t have much of a choice. I don’t know why, but I keep finding you guys afterward. I had to help cover for them. I’m telling you, I don’t know how much longer this can go on without someone asking more questions.” I spoke like I was a sympathizer, wanting to help if I could.
“I should have been stronger. I tried, but it wasn’t enough.” She looked tired—and in pain. “Just keep quiet until everything’s set, okay? Please?”
“Sure,” I said, dying to know what she’d “tried.” “I’m not going to drag anyone else in. How’d you even end up here? You’re supposed to avoid attracting attention.” Or so I assumed. I was totally making this up as I went along.
She grimaced. “The dorm matron noticed and made me come in. If the rest of the Mână finds out, I’m going to get in trouble.”
“Hopefully the doctor’ll send you on your way before any of them find out. She’s kind of busy. You’ve got the same marks as Brett and Brandon, and none of theirs were that serious.” So I hoped. “The . . . uh, burn marks were a little tricky, but they haven’t had any problems.”
It was a gamble in my game here. Not only did I have no clue about the specifics of Brett’s injuries, I also didn’t actually know if those marks Jill had described on him were burns. If they weren’t, I might have just blown my insider act. But, she didn’t correct me, and her fingers absentmindedly touched one of the welts.
“Yeah, they said the damage wouldn’t last. I’ll just have to make up something for Olendzki.” A small flicker of hope shone in her eyes. “They said they wouldn’t, but maybe . . . maybe they’ll let me try again.”
It was at that moment that the good doctor returned. She was surprised to see me still there and told me I needed to get back home and rest. I said goodbye to both of them and trekked back out into the cold. I barely noticed the weather as I walked, though. Finally, finally, I had a clue in this puzzle. Mână.
NINETEEN
L
ISSA HAD BEEN MY best friend ever since elementary school, which was why keeping so many secrets from her lately had hurt so much. She was always open with me, always willing to share what was on her mind—but then, maybe that was because she had no choice. I used to be that way with her, yet at some point, I’d started locking my secrets in, unable to tell her about Dimitri or the real reason I’d messed up with Stan. I hated it being that way. It ate me up inside and made me feel guilty around her.
Today, however, there was absolutely
no
way I could wiggle out of explaining what had happened at the airport. Even if I made up something, the fact that I was on half-time with Christian would be a huge tip-off that something was going on. No excuses this time.
So, as much as it hurt, I gave her and Christian—as well as Eddie and Adrian, who were hanging around—the short version of what had happened.
“You think you saw ghosts?” Christian exclaimed. “Seriously?” The look on his face showed me that he was already building a list of snide comments to make.
“Look,” I snapped, “I told you what was going on, but I don’t want to elaborate on it. It’s getting worked out, so just let it drop.”
“Rose . . .” began Lissa uneasily. A hurricane of emotions was beating through to me from her. Fear. Concern. Shock. Her compassion made me feel that much worse.
I shook my head. “No, Liss. Please. You guys can think whatever you want about me or make up your own theories, but we’re not going to talk about it. Not now. Just leave me alone about it.”
I expected Lissa to badger me because of her normal persistence. I expected Adrian and Christian to because of their irritating natures. But even though my words had been simple, I realized I’d delivered them with a harshness both in voice and manner. It was Lissa’s surprised mental reaction that alerted me to that, and then I needed only to look at the guys’ faces to realize I must have sounded incredibly bitchy.
“Sorry,” I mumbled. “I appreciate the concern, but I’m just not in the mood.”
Lissa eyed me.
Later
, she said in my mind. I gave her a brief nod, secretly wondering how I could avoid that conversation.
She and Adrian had met to practice magic again. I still liked being able to be close to her, but I was only able to do so because Christian was hanging around too. And honestly, I couldn’t figure out why he stayed. I guess he was still a little jealous, despite everything that had happened. Of course, if he’d known about the queen’s matchmaking schemes, he might have had good reason. Nonetheless, it was clear these magic lessons were starting to bore him. We were in Ms. Meissner’s classroom today, and he pulled two desks together and stretched out across them, tossing an arm over his eyes.
“Wake me when it gets interesting,” he said.
Eddie and I stood in a central position that let us watch the door and windows while also staying near the Moroi.
“You really saw Mason?” Eddie whispered to me. He turned sheepish. “Sorry . . . you said you didn’t want to talk about it. . . .”
I started to say yes, that was exactly what I’d said . . . but then I saw the look on Eddie’s face. He wasn’t asking me about this out of perverse curiosity. He asked because of Mason, because of their closeness, and because Eddie wasn’t over his best friend’s death any more than I was. I think he found the idea of Mason communicating from beyond the grave reassuring, but then, he hadn’t been the one to actually see Mason’s ghost.
“I think it was him,” I murmured back. “I don’t know. Everyone thinks I imagined it.”
“How did he look? Was he upset?”
“He looked . . . sad. Really sad.”
“If it was really him . . . I mean, I don’t know.” Eddie looked at the ground, momentarily forgetting to watch the room. “I’ve always wondered if he was upset that we didn’t save him.”
“There was nothing we could have done,” I told him, reiterating exactly what everyone had told me. “But I wondered that too, because Father Andrew had mentioned that ghosts sometimes come back for revenge. But Mason didn’t look that way. He just seemed like he wanted to tell me something.”
Eddie looked back up suddenly, realizing he was still on guard duty. He didn’t say anything else after that, but I knew where his thoughts were.
Meanwhile, Adrian and Lissa were making progress. Or rather, Adrian was. The two of them had dug up a bunch of scraggly plants that had died or gone dormant for the winter and put them in little pots. The pots were now lined up in a row on a long table. Lissa touched one, and I felt the euphoria of magic burn within her. A moment later, the scrappy little plant turned green and sprouted leaves.
Adrian stared hard at it, as though it held all the secrets of the universe, and then exhaled deeply. “Okay. Here goes nothing.”
He lightly placed his fingers on a different plant.
Here goes nothing
might have been an accurate statement, because nothing actually happened. Then, a few moments later, the plant shuddered a little. A hint of green started to grow in it and then it stopped.
“You did it,” said Lissa, impressed. I could also feel that she was a little jealous. Adrian had learned one of her tricks, but she still hadn’t learned any of his.
“Hardly,” he said, glaring at the plant. He was completely sober, with none of his vices to mellow him. Spirit had nothing to stop it from making him feel irritable. With our moods, we actually had something in common tonight. “Damn it.”
“Are you kidding?” she asked. “It was great. You made a plant grow—
with your mind
. That’s amazing.”
“Not as good as you, though,” he said, still sounding like he was ten years old.
I couldn’t help but pipe in. “Then stop bitching and try again.”
He glanced over at me, a smile twisting his lips. “Hey, no advice, Ghost Girl. Guardians should be seen and not heard.” I flipped him off for the “Ghost Girl” comment, but he didn’t notice because Lissa was talking to him again.
“She’s right. Try it again.”
“You do it one more time,” he said. “I want to watch you. . . . I can kind of feel what you do to it.”
She performed her trick on another plant. I again felt the magic flare up, as well as the joy that came with it—and then she faltered. A flash of fear and instability tinged the magic, smacking a little of when her mental state had deteriorated so badly.
No, no
, I begged silently.
It’s happening. I knew it would if she kept using the magic. Please don’t let it happen again
.
And like that, the dark spot within her magic went away. All of her thoughts and feelings returned to normal. I noticed then that she’d also made the plant grow. I’d missed it because I’d been distracted by her lapse. Adrian had missed the magic too because his eyes were on me. His expression was troubled and very, very confused.
“Okay,” said Lissa happily. She didn’t realize he hadn’t paid attention. “Try again.”
Adrian focused his attention back on their work. Sighing, he moved to a new plant, but she gestured him back. “No, keep working on the one you started. Maybe you can only do it in small bursts.”
Nodding, he turned his attention to his original plant. For a few minutes, he just did nothing but stare. Silence reigned in the room. I’d never seen him so focused on anything, and sweat was actually forming on his forehead. Finally, at long last, the plant twitched again. It grew even greener, and tiny buds appeared on it. Glancing up at him, I saw him narrow his eyes and grit his teeth, no doubt concentrating for all he was worth. The buds burst. Leaves and tiny white flowers appeared.