Authors: Cassandra Gannon
“I
am not in league with Fang.” Slade said, his eyes on the rebels. “I will kill
him and save Infinia. I am meant to be king of this land and you are meant to
follow me.”
“If
you seek to lead us, then you must prove your worth.” A guy with feathers
interjected. Fifteen hours in makeup and this was probably his only line in
the film. “You must enter… The Cage.” He swept a wing towards a large
enclosure that seemed to be constructed out of crisscrossed tree limbs and
human skulls. “You must defeat ten of our bravest warriors at once.”
“Eleven
men enter. One man leaves.” The crowd obediently chanted.
Oh
Jesus. They were ripping-off
Beyond Thunderdome.
That was just the
final straw. Technically, Infinia might be real, but it was also a pain in the
ass.
“No.”
Jane snapped, grabbing hold of Slade’s arm before he could agree to this lunacy.
“Don’t even
think
about it. Yeah, fine,
Mad Max
-era Mel Gibson
was hot, but all remakes suck. It’s like a law. You can’t get in that cage
and beat up ten men.”
Slade
scoffed at that. “Of course I can. Look how small they are.”
The
man was unbelievable. “Someone will get seriously hurt, Slade!”
“Well,
unless they possess a blue diamond blade, that ‘someone’ will not be me.” He
arched a brow, when Jane blinked at him. “Have I not explained that Vampires
are quite hardy? Only enchanted blue diamonds can kill us in a fight. The
weapons can cut through magicks, but they are rare and expensive for peasants
to buy, so there is no need to be concerned for me.”
“I’m
not concerned for
you
, idiot.” She waved aside the Vampire biology
lesson. “My point is, reenacting
Battle Royale
is a terrible way to win
support for your cause. If you want the rebels on your side, you can’t get their
loyalty through force. Aren’t you listening to their stories? They’ve seen
enough bloodshed.”
They
hadn’t, however, seen enough singing.
To
Jane’s horror, at least half of the assembled rebels launched into an elaborate
dance routine. Even Slade’s eyebrows soared as they spun around in complicated
choreographed kick lines, flipping and sweeping through the forest. Yeah…
definitely the “innovative soundtrack” thing. The song was a ridiculously
modern pop confection about their rage towards the cage in an age of drage.
What the fuck was “drage?” Were they just making up words now?
She
shook her head in utter disgust and glared up Slade. “Great. Now we’re in a
musical number. You see what you did?”
“I
did not cause this! I merely wanted to prove my valor by killing some
warriors. How else will they be convinced to follow me?”
“Why
don’t you try
talking
to them? It would certainly beat the singing,
don’t you think?”
Slade
seemed confused by the idea. “Talking?”
“Yes!
Explain why you’re a better choice for monarch than the Werewolf. How hard
could that be? They already detest Fang and you’re,” she waved a hand up and
down Slade’s perfect form, “
you
. Go campaign for the job, like a normal
person.”
“I
do not know how to
campaign
to peasants.” He shifted out of the way of
a breakdancing Gremlin, looking doubtful about this whole idea. “I have never
had to convince anyone to follow me before. They just
did
it. I was
born with a crown and they respected my exalted position. That is the system I
prefer.”
“Do
you have amnesia or something?” Jane’s character on
Dracula, Ph.D.
had
storyline about a forgotten husband, so Jane knew the symptoms. “Your last
group of ‘respectful’ peasants overthrew you, remember?”
“That
was an aberration.” Slade insisted stubbornly.
“An
aberration? The whole Vampire Isle dumped your ass, even your grandmother the
cat. You told me so yourself.”
Slade’s
expression darkened, even as multicolored lizard-people pirouetted passed. “You
don’t need to remind me of my grandmother’s treachery. All my life, she was
the one I trusted most. She was
always
in my corner. But, in the end,
Grandma Dawn turned against me and helped banish me from my homeland. I don’t
even know why.”
Jane
paused, considering Slade’s uncharacteristically bitter words. It occurred to
her that his unflagging confidence hid a lot of hurt and doubts. How could it
not? Everyone really
had
turned against this guy. Slade’s own family
had sided with his cheating wife in the divorce. It had to be hard for him to
swallow that kind of betrayal, especially when he seemed to be loyal to the
point of stupidity.
“Why
did your grandmother…?”
Slade
cut her off. “I do not wish to discuss Grandma Dawn. None of that is relevant
to this situation. The rebels
wish
me to fight. It is their custom. I
understand that you have a soft heart and do not wish me to destroy…”
“I
do
not
have a soft heart.”
Slade’s
mouth twitched as though he found her indignant interruption adorable. “Yes,
you do.” He said quietly. “It is why you are here.”
Jane
resisted the urge to slug Conan in his soft head. “I
don’t
. I’m a
pragmatic, bitchy, cynical person. Everybody who’s ever met me knows that. And
I’m being completely rational about this.
You’re
the one not thinking
straight.”
“Nonsense.
I am being eminently rational. With the sun coming up, we do not have time to
waste on protracted negotiations. Gaining power will be far easier if I kill a
few rebels and prove I am the strongest.”
She
raised her voice so he could hear her over the music. How in the hell did they
have electric guitar riffs in a world without electricity? “Do you want them
to follow you because you’re strong or because you’re
right?
”
“I
am Slade, King of the Vampires. I’m always right.”
The
urge to hit him was almost irresistible now. “Would you just shut up and
listen? Intimidation is a terrible way to run a kingdom. Fang seized control
through killing. Is that who you are, too? Someone who scares people into
obedience?”
His
head tilted, his expression going gentle. “I would
never
harm you.” He
vowed, as if he thought that must be her concern. “I have no desire to force
your compliance. That would gain me nothing. I want you to stay with me
willingly.” One large palm came up to touch her hair and he gave a strange
sigh as the curls slipped through his fingers. “I want you to
want
to
be with me, Jane.”
Jane
should’ve batted his hand away. It was the sensible thing to do and she was a
sensible girl. Instead, she shifted closer to him, her whole body tingling.
It was always like that. The guy generated some kind of electricity that
zinged through her whenever they touched. She knew it was a bad idea, but she
couldn’t bring herself to break the contact.
His
thumb briefly brushed across her cheek. “I would do whatever you ask, if you’d
only choose to remain at my side.” He whispered. “I want you to
like
me, Jane.”
She
did like him.
Shit.
Why the hell would she like such a lunatic? It was an even stupider idea than
the rebels building a cage and wanting them to participate in the Seventy-Sixth
Annual Hunger Games. No possible good could come from sticking with Slade and
she was smart enough to know it. So why wasn’t she running for the hills?
Maybe
she was still drunk.
“I’m
not worried that you’ll hurt me. Not like that.” Jane shook her head,
breaking the spell. “Look, I won’t help a king unless he’s fair to
everyone
in his kingdom. Even the unbilled peasants. These extras are the ones
suffering and they should have some say in the story.”
Slade
stared down at her for a long beat and Jane felt her insides dip. As much as
she should run away from the lunatic, she could seriously get used to the way
he looked at her. Slade might be actively working to ruin her life, but he watched
Jane like she was the only thing that could
save
his.
The
dance number ended with a dynamic flourish of random fireworks. Confetti
drifted down from someplace. The music crescendoed and the rebels all stopping
in “ta-da!” poses, like they were expecting thunderous applause.
Jane
and Slade ignored them.
“You
will help me?” He sorted through her statement and came up with the one part
that interested him. “
Really
help me? With no more angrily sitting at
bars or slipping away when my back is turned?”
“I
never tried to sneak away. I just threatened it. In fact, when you were in
trouble, I came looking for you. I’ve been pretty damn helpful so far, buddy.
I’m even wearing this ugly bracelet without complaint.” She held up the
anti-Werewolf accessory, even though she kinda
had
been complaining
about the damn thing.
A
lot.
“But,
you are not yet committed to our journey.” Slade clarified. “I feel like you
are just looking for an opportunity to leave me.”
Probably
because she
was
. The Vampire did his best to hide it, but he wasn’t a
total
moron. “Tell me why I should stay, then.” Jane arched a brow. “Why should I
follow you?”
“Because
you wish Allandrina to send you back to your gloomy world and I am going to
marry the woman.”
The
reminder of Slade’s princesses didn’t improve her mood. “Not good enough.
I’ve
met
you. I figure there’s only a fifty/fifty shot of this girl
being dumb enough to say ‘I do.’ I don’t like that kind of risk.”
“You
seem to dislike
all
risks.”
“Because,
I’m not an idiot. And the smart money says I can hire a Witch easier than I
can take over a kingdom. This is a fantasy movie and fantasy movies
love
Witches. There
has
to be some scantily-clad enchantress wandering
around Bartertown.” She leaned closer him. “So, if you want me to spend even one
more hour in a land without potato chips,
Variety
, and tampons, tell me
why
you’re worth taking a chance on. Why should the rebels and I vote Team Slade?
Convince us. Convince
me
.”
Slade
angled his jaw at the challenge and turned back to the rebels. They didn’t
seem to know what to do now that the music had stopped. Aside from more scattered
calls of, “Eleven men enter. One man leaves,” the whole army was silently
waiting for them to finish their argument. Why wouldn’t they? It wasn’t like
they had storylines of their own to worry about. They were just the red shirts
who died in the trenches, while the stars preened at center stage.
“I
will not fight in the Cage.” Slade declared, brushing passed the feathered
guy. “Neither will any of you. Today, we begin anew.”
That
line sure as hell hadn’t been in the script. “What?” Chicken Man squawked.
“Wait, you can’t…”
Slade
ignored that and stepped up on the wooden platform where the Middle Ages’
version of
Twisted Sister
waited for their next cue. The music died away
and Slade stood there like he was spotlighted on Broadway. Dawn began to peek
through the clouds, washing him in an otherworldly glow. No lighting tech
could’ve created that effect. It was as if sun was shining down multicolored
beams of magic just for Slade. If the dim rays burned him, he didn’t show it.
Instead, he braced his legs apart and looked out at the rebels.
“I
am Slade, King of the Vampires.” He announced loudly. “And I know what it is
to have my home stolen from me.”
Just
that quickly, he won the crowd.
The
rebels stopped chanting for the Cage and started listening like Slade was
delivering the Gettysburg Address. Clearly, no one had ever bothered
talking
to them before. Their awe would’ve been annoying, except Jane sort of
understood their reaction. It wasn’t so much Slade’s words as it was his
presence.
It was like he knew everything you’d been through and now he was there to help
solve all your problems. Two sentences into his speech and Slade was already the
greatest public speaker she’d ever seen. Any political party would have
sacrificed small children to have this guy on their ticket.
“I
know what it is to be cast aside.” He continued, his voice echoing through the
woods. “To be hated. To be forced from your old life and thrown onto the
mercy of fate.” He paused. “To be alone.”
Jane
couldn’t have looked away if her life depended on it.
“All
of us are the same here. We are all unwanted and forsaken.” He shook his
head. “But, we are not beaten, or hiding, or prepared to give into our fears.
All
heroes must struggle. It is what makes them great. And, friends,
we
are the heroes of this tale.
We
are the ones who wish to make this
world better. And we are just
beginning
our destinies.”