Vampire Dreams_Int.indd (4 page)

“That’s okay. You don’t have to. But can I ask you one
thing?”

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Vampire of My Dreams

After a deep sigh I said, “Sure.”

“What was the hardest part?”

I sifted through the ordeal before answering. “It was the
honor guard.”

“Of course.” He stared at the ceiling silently for a minute.

Then he said, “I’ll understand if you want me to leave.”

“Please don’t leave me now, Alexander. Knowing I’d
dream of you tonight was the only thing I’ve had to look
forward to all day.”

“I’l stay here with you, then.” He put his cool arms around
me and we stayed like that all night.

† † †

Alexander was back last night and I discovered he has
an annoying side.

“No tears tonight?”

I thought back to just before I’d fal en asleep. “No, I
guess not.”

“Darn! That’s too bad! What’d you forget to cry or
something?”

“Whatever are you talking about?”

“It’s a little disappointing, that’s all. I was looking forward
to the smell of your tears. I rather like the scent.”

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Christina Moss

I looked at him in disbelief and he actually had a smirk
on his face. “Is that supposed to be funny?” I threw a pil ow
at him. “Since when do vampires have a sense of humor?”

“Call it a sense of humor if you’d like. We just don’t take
death as seriously as you humans.”

“So that’s how it is — us humans and you vampires?

What do you do when you’re not here, anyway?”

“Haven’t we covered that?”

“Oh yes, you hunt bad guys,” I said sarcastical y. “But
why are you gone for so long?”

“Because, young Zoe, it takes patience, time and skill to
fi nd them.”

“Sure, sure. And don’t forget the time you need to visit
all the other women in their dreams.”

That was the fi rst time I heard him laugh. It was reserved
and quiet, but a laugh just the same. I rather liked it. “Hardly,
my dear! One human to keep track of is more than enough
for this detective.”

“Wel , aren’t there other vampires or something?”

“There are.”

“So, don’t you have friends that you see sometimes?”

After a pause, he said in a more serious tone, “The others
have a different philosophy. We don’t get along.” It was my
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Vampire of My Dreams

turn to laugh. “Do I amuse you?” he asked with a hint of
indignation.

“No, Alexander. I’m not laughing at you, at al . Only
I would dream up someone who is just as pathetic and alone
as myself.”

† † †

He was in the worst mood I’d ever seen him last night but,
in contrast, I was feeling rather playful when I felt him lower
himself onto my bed next to me. He rested on his back and
looked at the ceiling. For once he was reticent.

“Is that you, Alexander?” I asked cheerily.

After a moment of silence he said dryly, “Unless you were
expecting someone else.”

I smiled. “Oh sure, I was expecting that other vampire
who visits me in the middle of the night. Honestly, it’s a
wonder I get any sleep at all!” I was hoping to shake him
out of his gloomy state.

Without turning to look at me he lifted my wrist and then
dropped it. “Liar.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“You still have a pulse. If another vampire visited you,
you’d be dead.”

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Christina Moss

“Oh, that’s right.
They
kil whomever they can get their
fangs into but you only kil the ones who deserve to die. Tel me
all about how you kil ed the bad guy tonight, Alexander.”

He frowned. “I’d rather not, Zoe.”

“Why? Are you afraid I can’t handle the carnage? The
screams, the blood and gore?” I regretted my words as soon
as they were out of my mouth.

He looked hurt. “If that’s what you’re interested in you
should
spend time with another vampire because if there’s
anything I dislike more than having to do it, it’s bragging
about it.”

I’d been a little slow in catching on but now it was obvious
that something horrible had happened and there I was joking
about it like it was nothing at all. He hated what he had to do
and I felt badly that I’d brought it up that way. “Forgive me,
Alexander. I shouldn’t talk like that.” I reached out and took
his cool hand in mine. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“No.”

“That’s okay. But can you tel me one thing?”

“What’s that?”

“What was the worst thing about it?”

He continued staring at the ceiling and sighed deeply. Then
he said, “It wasn’t until after I fi nished him that I saw a
picture had fal en from his pocket. He had a new baby at
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Vampire of My Dreams

home.” He went silent again and the reason for his dark mood
and pained expression now made sense. I could feel his pain
and as awful as it was, I was glad he’d told me. I nestled up
close under his arm and put my arm across his chest.

“What would you have done differently if you’d known?”

I asked.

“I wouldn’t have kil ed him if that’s what you mean.”

“I know you wouldn’t have. It’s a terrible thing. I’m sorry
it happened that way.”

For a time we lay there aware, perfectly still and completely
silent. We shared the pain of it.

Finally he said, “Zoe?”

“What, Alexander?”

“You’re the only person I have to talk to.”

I didn’t know how to answer him so I just pressed myself
a little closer.

† † †

“So, Alexander, what should we talk about tonight?”

“Tell me what you’ve been doing for three days.”

“Just going to classes.”

“What are you studying?”

“Journalism.”

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Christina Moss

“That’s interesting. So you’re a writer. Can I read something you’ve written?”

“No. I don’t think I’m ready to show people yet.”

“Well, I’m hardly people.” I made a face at him. “Don’t
be like that. I want to read your work.”

“No!”

“Why not?”

“Because, I know you wel enough to know that you’l be
bluntly honest. I’m not ready for that.”

“You shouldn’t have said that! Now I have to read it!”

He was up in a fl ash and began looking around my room,
opening drawers and searching through my things.

Furious, I jumped out of bed. “Alexander! You can’t do
that, it’s an invasion of privacy!”

“So, cal the police. Or better yet, write a paper on it! Of
course, you’re welcome to try to stop me if you want — but good
luck with that! Where do you keep your work anyway?”

I tried to stop him but it was like trying to stop a man
of iron. I would have had an easier time manipulating a
life-sized bronze statue. No matter how I tried grabbing his
arms or pushing him away, I had zero effect on his actions.

He continued rummaging around my room like I wasn’t even
there. It was infuriating!

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Vampire of My Dreams

Then he discovered my printer. That’s where he found
a ten-page article I’d written on a woman who’d started a
non-profi t organization to teach art to children of low income
families. I respected the woman so much, I wanted to write an
article that would reveal how special she is so people would
want to support her.

The vampire ceremoniously sprawled out on my bed in
triumph. “What are you so worried about anyway?”

Angry and frustrated, I went back to my side of the bed, fl at
on my back, crossed my arms and stared at the ceiling while he
read my article. I mentally cursed him for being so thoughtless of
my feelings, so arrogant and selfi sh! But my anger soon morphed
into fear as he silently read my words. The words I’d poured
my heart and soul into. I knew I’d have to learn to face the
fact that people would be reading those and many other words
I’d put to paper. But I was counting on having time to adjust
to that. He was giving me an ice water dip and I didn’t like it
at all. And I wasn’t liking him very much either!

I knew writing was my special cal ing in life but I was
still feeling tentative about revealing that side of myself to the
world — not that he was the world. He was a dead and
stupid vampire. No — even less than that, he was only a
dream! Stil , at that moment he was an especial y annoying
dream, and a dream that could hurt me emotionally. I felt
myself blush as he continued to read and turn the pages of my
heart and soul. It was long minutes of emotional torture.

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Christina Moss

When he was fi nally done reading, he just lay there on his
back quietly with a neutral expression on his face. Finally,
he placed my heart and soul on the nightstand next to him.

Then he rol ed toward me, took my hand and gently kissed
it with his cool lips. He moved close and whispered in my
ear, “Zoe, you’re bril iant.” He didn’t say anything else last
night but he didn’t have to. He tenderly rested his head on my
shoulder and held my hand in his. And I knew for certain
that he honestly liked it and his brief response was far better
than any other words he could have spoken.

† † †

Zoe put down the journal, grabbed a tissue from the coffee table and wiped the tears from her face. It was the fi rst time she had realized that after that one dream she never again worried about anyone rejecting her work. From that point forward she wrote freely and with confi dence and passion.

† † †

It was getting close to midnight but Zoe was nearing the end of the last notebook and she couldn’t bring herself to stop reading it. All of the wonderful feelings she’d ever had for Alexander had returned. There were times she hated him, loved him and laughed with him. She was seeing how her dreams had formed her life and indeed shaped her as a person. He had been her family. For all she’d previously been through with her parents and now with Michael, she 35

Vampire of My Dreams

continued to be the person she always was and she owed it to her dreams of Alexander.

Reading through her journals was an evolution for her and once again, the vampire was saving her from ruin. What Alexander had really done for Zoe, was he’d made her feel loved and knowing that someone, even a made-up entity, had made her feel special a few nights each week over the span of six years, was enough to make it okay for her to like herself again. And so, although the hour was late, she continued to read.

† † †

I just couldn’t believe it. Last night he was actually furious
with me. He entered through my window and stood there.

“Where were you last night?” he said.

“You sound upset.”

“I am! I came and you weren’t here! I couldn’t sleep all day!

I was worried sick that something had happened to you!”

I looked at him without sympathy. “You were here last
night, too? Wel that’s unusual. In six years, I don’t think
you’ve ever come two nights in a row!” I teased him.

“This isn’t funny!” he said loudly.

I sighed in exasperation. “Only I could manage to upset
a dream entity!”

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Christina Moss

He frowned and seemed to get himself under better control,
although he remained obstinate. “Zoe, it’s not a joke to
me.” He settled in the bed next to me and crossed his arms
over his chest. Then he took in a deep breath and seemed to
exhale with relief.

“I’m sorry to worry you, Alexander. But as you can see,
I’m perfectly okay. Do you feel better now?”

“Well at least tel me the next time, or leave me a note
or something?”

“Sure. I’l leave a note right here on my pil ow so my dream
doesn’t get furious with me.”

He put his hands over his face in utter frustration and
said, “I can’t do this anymore! It’s driving me craz y!”

“What’s wrong, Alexander? Having a reality crisis?

Realizing you’re just a dream and not taking it so wel ?”

He turned and looked at me sadly. “As a matter of fact,
I am having a reality crisis — of sorts. I’m trying to make
my mind up about something. And it’s not easy. So where
did you go last night?”

“A girl at work had a party. I stayed at her parents’

house down the Cape. I was just invited the other day. It’s
not like I can always predict when you’l show up in my
dreams, Alexander! Besides, why didn’t you just turn up
there last night?”

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Vampire of My Dreams

“Because I didn’t know where you were!”

“How could that possibly matter?” I was actually having
a heated argument with a person who didn’t exist!