Read Vanilla Ride Online

Authors: Joe R. Lansdale

Tags: #Fiction, #General, #Action & Adventure, #Collins; Hap (Fictitious character), #Mystery & Detective, #American Mystery & Suspense Fiction, #Pine; Leonard (Fictitious character), #Suspense, #Texas, #African American men, #Gay, #Fiction - Mystery, #Detective, #Mystery & Detective - Series, #Drug dealers, #Mafia, #Humorous, #Thrillers, #Humorous fiction, #Adventure fiction

Vanilla Ride (25 page)

They went over and stood on the other side of the Escalade.

I looked in the side window and saw Tonto lying facedown across the backseat. He looked as if he had just stretched out. His pants were down and his ass was like a big moon. I took a deep breath. Leonard opened the door on the other side the rest of the way—that’s why the interior light was on, the door was partially open.

Jim Bob and I went around and joined Leonard and we looked down at Tonto. His face was turned to one side and his ear was full of blood. Jim Bob leaned in and looked and said, “Ah, goddamn it to hell. The woman.”

Leonard leaned in and looked. “Something sharp, right in the ear. Ice pick maybe.”

“Where the hell did she keep it?” I said.

“Purse,” Jim Bob said.

Leonard checked Tonto’s pulse, looked at us, shook his head. Blood was now running out of Tonto’s ear and down his cheek, collecting on the seat.

“Just happened,” Jim Bob said, turning to look around the parking lot. “Seconds ago. Damn.”

We had put the duffel bag with the money in the back under one of the traps in the floor. We went around and looked. The trap was open. The money was gone.

“Knew where to look,” Jim Bob said. “Guesswork, maybe, but good guesswork.”

We closed the door, cutting the interior light, put our guns away, and all of us went over and got in the Escalade, Leonard behind the wheel. Jim Bob, sitting next to him, said, “I was just starting to like that asshole.”

“He lived this long,” Leonard said, “and then he decided to throw in with me and Hap. That was his mistake.”

“I can’t disagree with that,” Jim Bob said. “Look, you guys, you go back to the hotel and get the bags, and I’ll meet up with you later. Don’t worry about me. I’m going to drive the van and take Tonto somewhere.”

“And where will that be?” I said.

“I don’t know. But I’m not just leaving him. He’s part of the team. He’s got someplace, or I’ll find someplace. Marvin will know something. He was our connection to Tonto.”

“We should have gone home,” Leonard said.

“We should have done a lot of things,” Jim Bob said. “You guys, you take the kids back, the money. Don’t go back to your place, Hap. Call me at some point. I’ll meet up with you.”

“We—we have a blanket in the back,” Tim said, “you want to cover him.”

“Yeah,” I said, “that’s a good idea.”

“We ought to look for her,” I said.

“No point in that,” Jim Bob said. “She’s a pro. That little darling is cool as an ice tray. She let him think he was about to throw the spear in the bull’ s-eye, and then she got him. Had to have practice at it. One good shot with something sharp in the ear, and he never knew what hit him.”

Me and Leonard and Jim Bob got out and I had the blanket. Leonard gave the car keys to Tim, said, “We’re going to cover him up, you hear? Stay in the car.”

Tim nodded. Katie took Tim’s arm. “Cold,” she said. “I feel so cold.”

“You want,” Leonard said, “warm the car up.”

We went back to the van, and when we were sure no one was in the lot, we opened the door and pulled Tonto’s pants up, got the van keys out of his pocket, and left him facedown with the blanket over him. Jim Bob shook the keys, said, “I’m going to take him now.”

Jim Bob got in behind the wheel and pulled away. We watched him go.

When he was out of the lot, Leonard turned to me, said, “Hey, I didn’t unlock the Escalade. It was already unlocked.”

A chill went over me that wasn’t due to the weather. We had been so distracted by Tonto, we hadn’t really noticed, not then, and that meant she had jacked the car open, and then got out of there fast. Maybe
when we came out the back we surprised her, came out and didn’t give her time to lock things back

I turned toward the Escalade. Tim had climbed behind the wheel and Katie was sitting up front with him. We started walking that way quickly, and then I saw Tim move slightly, and though I couldn’t see what he was doing, I knew he was about to start the car, get some warmth from the heater.

I started to run, but then the car came apart in what seemed like slow motion and the parking lot turned red and there was a hot wind that picked me up and carried me away.

I was lying on my stomach, had the feeling I had been out for a moment. I rose up on my hands. My ears were ringing. I looked at where the Escalade had been sitting. It was a gutted wreck and flames were licking at it and I could see two dark shapes in what had been the front seat, burning. There was nothing to be done there.

Glancing around, I saw Leonard. He was lying on his face and he wasn’t moving, not making a sound. The back of his coat was feeding a little blaze. I tried to get up, but didn’t have the ability. Crawling toward him, I got there and slapped at his back with my hands, putting out the flames on his coat. Reaching out, I touched his pulse. He had one. Grateful for that, I put my face down on the cold parking lot cement and passed out.

46

The air was a little chill and my ears were ringing and throbbing and I didn’t feel so good. I turned my head. It was a chore equal to the labors of Hercules. It was a hospital bed. I tried to call out, but my mouth was so dry I could only croak. I closed my eyes and went back to sleep.

When I awoke this time there was a man in a chair by my bed, and I knew him. Drake. He looked at me like he really wanted to be somewhere else. He said, “When you two boys fuck up, you like to compound it, don’t you?”

I didn’t answer. I thought about nodding, but was afraid my head would fall off. Overall, I felt as if I had been rode hard and put up wet, and then shot for having bad ankles.

Drake got up and poured some water from a pitcher into a plastic glass with a straw. He brought it over and took hold of a little control on a cable and touched it. The head of the bed raised up, and when it was positioned, he stopped it and held the water for me to sip.

It was the best water I had ever had. I was convinced it was the best water anyone ever had. When my throat was wet enough, I managed to say, “Leonard?”

“They have to dig some more car shrapnel out of his thighs, but he’s pretty much in the same condition you are, which is burned a little and banged up a lot.”

“How bad?” I said.

“Not that bad. Not so bad the two of you won’t recover and retain your native good looks.”

“What are you doing here?”

“I’m asking myself that,” Drake said. “Thing is, they found you boys in the parking lot, and whoever was in the car. That would be Hirem’s boy and the girlfriend, right?”

I nodded.

“That’s all I know about the deal,” Drake said. “You were supposed to find them and find some money.”

“Batting zero,” I said.

“I figured.”

“Again, how come you’re here?”

“Your license, Leonard’s. Had your address on it. My town. So they called me, see if I could find out who you were, what you were doing here. I knew both of you, of course.”

“And you bothered to come?”

“I’m trying to figure why. I was thinking you two got off easy, and then they call, tell me what happened, and I’m thinking maybe not so easy. So I call a contact I got in the FBI, and he says you two are off their charts, officially anyway. But some things have changed, and they’re feeling kindly.”

“What’s changed?” I said.

“Someone popped those two FBI agents, and that same someone didn’t do Hirem any good. Tortured him.”

“They wanted to know where we were searching.”

“That’s right, and it looks like they found out. And any information he would have given the FBI, any money might have been recovered from illicit business, they aren’t getting that now. But the main thing was the names Hirem would have named didn’t get named, and now there’s nothing but his corpse. Done deal.”

“I think the bad guys killed a lady named Annie too,” I said, and told Drake about it.

He said, “The FBI has decided not to forget you. They’ve decided your heart was in the right place. They’re going to make sure there are no charges.”

“If there were charges,” I said, “what would they be for?”

“They have no idea, and neither do I, but we figure you did something.
And they figure the something you did was to their benefit. And they figure it was a good thing they found these four guys in a Ford over near Lake O’ the Pines, and they were good and dead and they all had records, and somehow, they think it just might be possible they are connected to problems they have, and it just might be possible you and Leonard solved those problems. As for the explosion, and the guns they found on you, you guys are getting a clean slate soon as you’re able to get out of here. There’s local cops watching your rooms. FBI is sponsoring that indirectly. Directly, they aren’t doing squat, and everything I told you they would deny. They found out you had a room in a hotel, that there were two rooms. One for the kids?”

I lied. “Yep.”

“They had your bags sent over, after they went through them. Oh, by the way. The local newspaper, it read that four people had died in that blast. That would include you and Leonard. So there are some bad people think you’re dead. At least for the moment. Best just to take this as a freebie and not ask any questions.”

“How long have we been here?”

“Three days.”

“Damn,” I said.

“What about Brett?” Drake said.

“She doesn’t know what happened,” I said. “I’d like to keep it that way for now. She’s out of sight and maybe out of mind of these tin-pot gangsters. She knew I was hurt, or Leonard, she’d be here. I don’t want that. Not now.”

“I can understand that.”

“This isn’t exactly your jurisdiction,” I said.

“Yeah, I got no authority, but I got concern for my citizens, and that includes you two jackasses. And my friend in the FBI, I’m sort of his and the agency’s unofficial mouthpiece. What they want you to do is be finished.”

“All right,” I said.

“And mean it.”

“You know, the person who blew up the car, they got the money.”

“It wouldn’t be stashed away somewhere, would it?” Drake said.

“Not by us.”

“That person blew up the car, you know who it is?”

“No,” I said, and I didn’t mention Jim Bob or Tonto. I was hoping
he didn’t know about them, and I was hoping the FBI didn’t either. I didn’t mention the woman who had killed Tonto. She was mine. I didn’t mention the money had been in the van, figured Drake would logically think it had been taken from the Escalade, maybe our hotel room.

“These cops watching you, they’re only going to be here one more day. So you got to get well quick or hope nobody from the bad side of life is hunting you two down.”

“I’m feeling perky already,” I said, and this was true.

“Another thing, no charge for the hospital stay. FBI, they’re giving you a gift out of some funds they don’t have and didn’t give you. Understand?”

I agreed that I did. I said, “I’m surprised the FBI even cared.”

“Covering their ass is all,” Drake said, standing up. “Well, I’ve had it with you two. I’m going home. And next time I see you, if it’s just a parking ticket, I’m going to see there’s some way to throw you under the jail.”

He was almost to the door when I said, “Drake.”

He turned.

“Thanks, man.”

He nodded and went out.

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