Authors: Karina Halle
Just like before, in my dream, there’s a faint buzz of electricity as our palms touch and his fingers curl over mine. It sends a wave of warmth straight to my core, down between my legs.
I swallow hard, hoping he can’t sense it off of me. His gaze tells me nothing.
Then the grey dead air in front of us begins to warp and shimmer and before I know it, it feels like my head is being filled with steam and gravity has gone haywire. I’m pulled forward through a vice and . . .
Suddenly I’m back on the street in the dark, light purple-grey tinging the corners of the east. The air is warm and smells like dry grass.
And we aren’t alone. Jacob, Dex and now Perry are standing on the lawn. The moment that Perry sees me she runs forward, enveloping me in a frantic hug.
“Oh my god!” she cries out, practically flailing. “I thought I’d never see you again!”
“It’s okay,” I tell her, pulling back and trying to get her to see that I am indeed A-OK. “I’m fine. We just had a talk.”
“You took her to the fucking Thin Veil,” Perry spits out, turning to Jay. “What the fuck is wrong with you?”
He exchanges a glance with Jacob who raises his arms up in a shrug.
“Sorry,” Jay says to Perry. “I assume Jacob filled you in?”
“He did,” she says sharply, her eyes boring into him. Jeez. She’s acting just as protective as Dex had been. “That doesn’t mean I trust him and I definitely don’t trust you. If you’d have been me at fifteen, you would understand why.”
“And yet your friend Maximus, the one who sacrificed his life to save you,” Jacob pipes up smoothly, “that doesn’t matter at all. Listen, love, I know your Jacob scarred you for life but one sour apple doesn’t spoil the bunch.”
“Maximus had gone rogue by then,” Perry says quietly. I know his death still wears on her conscious a lot. “He . . . he was a friend. Not a stranger. And it took a
long
time to trust him. In fact,” she looks over at Dex who is standing there with his arms crossed, “I’m pretty sure Maximus became a better person when he wasn’t a Jacob. When he was one, he led Dex through hell. What does that tell me? That for all your righteousness and entitlement, you’re just about as crooked as cops are, except you get to live forever.”
“Perry,” I tell her, grabbing her arm and turning her away from them. I look her square in the eyes. “I believe them. For now, anyway. Jay is just warning me, that’s all. And he took me into the thinnest part of the Veil, there’s no real transference or side effects.”
Okay, I’m making that part up but as I look to Jay he just nods.
“Now, let’s go to bed and tomorrow is another day,” Jacob reminds us in his band manager voice, like he’s trying to corral a bunch of wayward rock stars.
“Tomorrow you’re coming back with us,” Perry reminds me, pulling me toward the house.
I pull right back. “Wait. No, I’m not.”
“Ada!” she exclaims. “I’ve sensed what’s in that closet. That’s a portal in itself, straight to Hell, isn’t that right?” She looks over at Jay and Jacob.
Jacob slowly nods. “That’s what we think,” he concedes. “But as long as Jay is here, Ada will be in no danger.”
“Right. Like she’s in zero danger having the doorway to Hell in her bedroom.” She looks back at me, her eyes blazing in determination. “You’re coming with us where you will be safe.”
“There is no safe place anymore,” Jacobs says mildly, examining his fingernails like he’s utterly bored of our middle of the street, middle of the night, pajama-clad drama. “If she goes with you, you invite this into your house. And as skilled as you two seem to be when dealing with ghosts, neither of you know how to handle this. Jay does.”
Dex raises his hand in mock politeness. “Um, I’m pretty sure we sent a demon back to Hell.”
Jacob doesn’t even look up. “No. You didn’t. That was Mrs. Palomino who did that. Their mother.”
Both Perry and I flinch, his words burning despite the truth.
“And are you willing to do the same should the situation arise?” Jacob goes on, finally looking over at us, the lines deepening in his forehead. “Or perhaps it would be best not to test it and put anyone in any danger. Ada should stay here. Jay will take care of her as it’s his duty and I’m here as well.”
“Micromanaging?” I question.
“Overseeing,” he says with a quick smile. “Of course, Ada, the choice is yours. You’re capable of making your own decisions regardless what we say or your family says.”
“I’ll sleep on it,” I say dryly, though with the sun rising slowly in the distance, I know there won’t be any more sleep for me. Not that I could have possibly fallen asleep anyway after all that. I also know deep down I’m not going to Seattle with Perry and Dex.
Jacob and Jay head back inside the Knightlys’ house, while the rest of us go to ours. I can tell Perry is stewing, wanting to yell at me for who knows what. I know she’s scared shitless that I’m going to get hurt and to be honest, I’m scared too.
But at the same time, as much as I feel safe with Dex and Perry, as much as I trust them, something tells me that I’m going to need Jay a lot more than I think. I know I’ve just “officially” met him, but there’s a lot to be said for an immortal being that not only invades your dreams but can whisk you off to another dimension.
And I definitely don’t want to expose Dex and Perry to any danger. They’ve got their own life going on in Seattle, they’ve put all of this shit behind them. What kind of sister would I be if I made it start all over again? I’ve already lost my mother.
I’m not losing them too.
It turns out I got some sleep after all. After we headed back into the house, unnerved by our middle of the night rendezvous, Dex and Perry went about making a nervous, silent kind of breakfast while I got dressed and lay down on the couch, trying to recoup my thoughts.
Next thing I know, it’s eleven a.m. and Dex and Perry have packed up their stuff and are loitering in the hallway, talking to Dad.
“Hey sleepy head,” Dex says as I stagger out of the living room, sleep in my eyes. “We didn’t want to wake you, you seemed like you needed it.”
Dex is giving me an easy grin though I can tell from his eyes that it’s kind of forced for Perry’s sake. It’s nice to know he doesn’t harbor any hard feelings about my decision, but my sister is another story.
In fact, she’s not even looking me in the eye.
Dad glances between the two of us, not sure what’s going on. “Well, I’m sorry to see you off, pumpkin,” he says to her. He only glances briefly at Dex and gives him a head nod. Dex responds in kind. Such guys.
Perry softens slightly at her pet name and hugs dad, closing her eyes tight. It’s only when she pulls away and promises to call when she gets home, that she finally looks me in the eye.
“Take care of yourself,” she says to me stiffly before picking up her giant duffel bag and heading out the door.
Dex shoots me an apologetic look. “Let me fix this,” he says then trots after her, pulling her to a stop in the middle of the yard.
“You two fighting?” my dad asks me uneasily as we watch them walk across the lawn. We used to fight all the time but haven’t since mom’s death. I’m not sure if he’s seeing this as a good thing or a bad thing.
“Something like that,” I tell him and go out after them, my dad wisely staying in the house.
“Don’t be stubborn,” Dex is whispering to Perry, taking her bag for her and sauntering over to the Highlander with it.
I hold out my hands in surrender as I approach Perry. “Look, I’m sorry I’m staying but it’s the right thing to do.”
Perry’s mouth is held in a thin white line. She shakes her head. “You’re supposed to trust me, Ada, not them. We don’t even know them. I’m your sister. We’ve been through so much . . . I don’t know what I’d do if I let something happen to you.”
Now she’s near tears. I rarely see her cry so it already brings my defenses down a couple of notches.
I come over to her and pull her into a hug. “Hey,” I tell her while she sniffs on my shoulder. “Nothing is going to happen to me. I’m not choosing strangers over you Perry. It’s just that I trust Jay. And Jacob too. I know it sounds crazy, I can’t explain it.” I pull back and press my hand into my sternum. “I feel it in here.”
She wipes her nose on her sleeve, narrowing her eyes at the Knightlys’ house. “They’re already fooling you.”
“Well what do you expect me to do? I start school soon. I couldn’t live with you and Dex forever. You wouldn’t want me to anyway.”
“We would manage.” She sighs, flipping her ponytail back over her shoulder. “You’re right. The whole school thing. I just figured that maybe whatever it was would blow over by then.”
“I don’t think things are that easy,” I tell her. “I think I have to deal with them as they come up. We both know we can’t sweep shit like this under the rug.”
“Yeah,” she reluctantly concedes. “I tried for years. Didn’t work.”
“And I was there to watch you try.” I put on my bravest smile, which of course comes across as totally cheesy. “Hey, there’s nothing stopping you from staying here anyway,” I point out, flipping the tables on her. I actually wouldn’t mind if she stayed at all.
“I’m going to try,” she says. “Dex has so much work to do but I might be able to get a day or two off. He can be a tyrant, you know.” She says this as if she’s not the tyrant at work, keeping Dex in line. “The minute anything gets worse, the second you think you’re in trouble or you don’t trust Jay, you let me know. Yell, phone, text. Anything. I’ll be here as quick as I can.”
I take in a deep breath, hoping it doesn’t have to come to that. Hoping that I am doing the right thing after all is said and done.
“I promise,” I tell her.
But as the Highlander goes down the street, disappearing around the corner, I feel loss in my chest, a solid, heavy thing. It’s not just that I care about Perry more than anything, that I miss her when she’s gone.
It’s that the fear is creeping back in.
Inch by inch.
The hairs at the back of my neck rise, a cold rush flowing through me. I slowly turn around, afraid to look where I want to look, my bedroom window. Afraid that I’ll see something there.
Watching me.
But there isn’t anything. Just the reflection of the tree on the glass.
I exhale loudly and head back inside, grateful to hear my dad puttering around in the kitchen. He’s busying himself, which is what he usually does after Perry leaves and right now it’s bringing me comfort to know he’s home, that I’m not alone, even if in many ways I am.
I’m not sure what to do about my room though. Dex seemed to sleep in there without any incident, otherwise I’m sure we would have heard about it, but now that it’s just me, and after I learned all that shit with Jay and Jacob, I’m not sure if I want to step foot in there ever again.
“Dad,” I say to him as I pass by the kitchen.
“Mmm?” he asks, cleaning out the fridge that probably doesn’t need to be cleaned out.
“I think I’m going to move back into my old bedroom,” I tell him.
He pauses and peers at me. I have his attention now. “Why?”
I shrug, not sure he’d buy my “I think it’s a portal to Hell” story. “It doesn’t seem right. You know, Perry comes by quite often and it doesn’t feel right having her sleep in my old room. And, I don’t know. It’s just never felt like mine.”
He studies me. I know he doesn’t believe me but I also know he wouldn’t dare ask for the truth. “You know the house could sell any day,” he points out. “Do you want to bother moving twice? I mean, you can do what you want, Ada. But I won’t be helping you. There’s enough to do around here as it is.”
I nod, not sure if I’m even brave enough to start moving shit alone. I may have to sequester the help of someone next door.
I make my way upstairs, needing a shower something fierce, even though all my good clothes are in the bedroom.
For a few moments I stare at the door handle, wondering what I’ll find when I open the door. What if I run in there and the door shuts on me and I’m trapped? Would I call for Jay? Would he just appear in my room? What if he was occupied—he did say he couldn’t watch me all the time. Does that mean he can’t respond all the time? Was he even aware of what I was doing right now?
Good lord, could he somehow watch me in the shower?
Has he been?
Odd thoughts to have and normally I wouldn’t even entertain that notion since Jacobs are immortal guardians, something above and beyond human, but I had caught Jay staring at my ass last night. And I could have sworn there was some sort of heat behind his eyes, as if he liked what he was seeing.
Well if you can hear or see this
, I think to myself,
mind your own business.
I decide to skip my bedroom completely and get something to wear from the other room. Then I get in the bathroom and take a one hell of a long shower, trying to wash the last few days from my skin. Naturally even taking a shower is fucking terrifying and I refuse to draw the curtain across the tub out of pure paranoia. Thanks, Hitchcock.
When I’m finally clean, my hair dried and straightened, I’ve got a hefty dose of makeup on, and a black shitkicker boots and olive green sundress combo going, I start to work up the nerve of approaching Jay. I don’t have his cell phone or anything like that so there’s nothing to do but go next door.
But just as I’m heading down the stairs, there’s a knock at the front door.
I freeze midway as my dad goes to answer.
“Hello?” I hear my dad ask, puzzlement in his voice.
“Hi. I was wondering if Ada was home.”
I practically run down the rest of the stairs to see Jay on the front steps. My dad eyes me over his shoulder.
“Ada, you know this man?” He’s already got fatherly disapproval all over his face, not that he’s particularly liked anyone I’ve dated. Obviously I’m not dating Jay but I know what this must look like. Plus there’s the fact that Jay is a hulking beast of a man dressed all in black, from his well-fitted t-shirt to his jeans to his boots. His broad jaw is dusted with dark stubble, his cinnamon hair pushed off his forehead, curling at the nape.
“He’s our new neighbor,” I tell him quickly, flashing my dad an innocent smile. “I met him yesterday.”
“Are you the Knightlys’ son? I didn’t know they had one,” my dad says.
Jay offers a tight smile. “I’m a family friend. Just renting a room in the house for the time being.”
“I was going to show him around Portland,” I fill in, remembering our arrangement for coffee.
My dad raises his brow, studying me again. I’m completely ready to deal the “I’m eighteen and a legal adult” card, which I have been known to do from time to time. I can’t blame my dad for being protective, but still.
“Fine,” he says reluctantly. “I’m making cannelloni tonight though, so be back for dinner.”
“I will.” I brush past him and join Jay outside. He gives my dad a polite wave before we both turn and walk down the path.
The moment we hear the door close behind us, Jay says, “Is your father always so suspicious?”
“He’s not a fan of strange men showing up at the door and taking me for coffee,” I tell him, falling in step beside him. A heady feeling grows in my chest, a strange mix of feeling giddy to be beside Jay and yet completely at peace simultaneously. I’m nervous but not afraid, just as I was last night when he pulled me into the Veil.
“I’m sure he’ll get used to seeing me soon enough,” he says.
“Well unless you start taking shortcuts into my room,” I tell him. “Which, by the way, I’ve decided to move out of. I can’t sleep in there again, especially with Dex and Perry gone and especially as neither you nor Jacob refuted the idea that my closet is a portal to Hell.”
“That’s probably smart,” Jay says but gives me nothing more.
“I’ll need your help moving all my stuff over,” I tell him cautiously as we head down the street. “I’m not doing it alone.”
He squints at me. “I just helped the Knightlys. In fact, I’m
still
unpacking.”
“So then you have experience. Which is great since you’re a rookie at life and all.”
He stops walking. “Just because this is my first time as a Jacob, doesn’t mean I don’t know how to function in society.” He nods at the beige Mercedes beside us, the one Jacob was driving. “I can even drive us downtown.”
“Jacob doesn’t mind?” I ask him, eying the Knightlys’ and half-expecting Jacob to come charging out and shaking his fist, a gaudy gold watch rattling.
Jay shrugs. “He’s fine.”
I’ve got the feeling that Jay isn’t really supposed to take Jacob’s car but for some reason that makes Jay a lot more interesting than he already was. In fact, looking back at last night I’d venture to guess that Jay is a bit of a button-pusher. He not only stood up to Dex but Jacob as well. Maybe all Jacobs are this way when they’re first starting out, but since I’m a rabble-rouser myself, maybe the match works.
Except it’s not a match
, I remind myself.
He’s my guardian. The Giles to my Buffy.
A smile curves his lips as he opens the car door.
“Can you hear what I’m thinking?” I ask him as I get in the passenger side. The leather seats squeak beneath my bare legs, already hot from the sun, and the air inside the car is sauna thick, smelling of mothballs and cigarettes and something else. Something nearly indiscernible, maybe spicy. I realize that’s how Jay smelled in my dream, something hot, spicy, primal, almost like a pheromone.
“Thinking?” he asks. “No. I was just imagining Jacob’s face when he finds out his car is gone.”
At that he starts the car, the diesel engine rumbling, and we quickly peel out onto the street, doing a U-turn that makes my head thud back against the headrest until we’ve straightened out and are zooming away from the houses.
Looks like he can drive just fine after all.
In fact, as we navigate the highways taking us from northeast Portland into the city, it seems like Jay is more than just good at it. It’s almost like the traffic and the lights are responding to him and not the other way around. Not to mention he drives like he knows the city like the back of his hand.
“How long have you been in the city?” I ask him. “Watching me,” I add.
“Since your mother died,” he says.
My eyes nearly bug out. “Two years?”
He nods.
“Two years,” I repeat. “The Knightlys just moved.”
“I’ve been around,” he says vaguely. “In dreams you don’t remember. Ever since the night at the wedding. I had to . . . be near you. In person. To really get a hold on you. To know you after that.”