Both Kitty and Noah were branding him, claiming him for their own. Apart, each of them made him feel good. Together they made him feel whole.
It was that knowledge that sent a chill through his body. He had never felt anything so strong before. Shane had always prided himself on not being overly affectionate or giving in to emotion. Noah was the flighty, emotional one. Shane was sure and steady. Tonight things had changed, and Shane had lost some of his control. Being so vulnerable felt odd and uncomfortable, yet the pleasure he’d received made his firm control seem foolish. It made him want to give himself over to his emotions and let his true nature shine through, but if he did that, if he let down his wall, he’d be vulnerable. What if Kitty and Noah rejected him?
He had seen them together, had felt Noah’s attraction toward Kitty. What if his friend wanted to have her exclusively? In Shane’s quest to gain both Noah and Kitty, would he lose his best friend in the process?
He didn’t know.
What Shane did know was that he was falling for both of them, and it scared him. When this whole thing started out, he had thought the three of them could be good together. He had sensed the potential for something bigger in the limo, but he had no idea just how big it could become. There was a special bond forming among the three of them. Bigger than sex, bigger than fun. Shane rubbed his hand over his face as dread settled into his bones. Was he falling in love?
His parents had fallen in love and then gotten a divorce. The separation led his father to commit suicide when Shane was only ten. Love, hurt, and making oneself vulnerable like that only led to self-destruction. No good could come of it.
Or could it?
Strong hands rested on his shoulders. “Are you okay?”
Shane didn’t respond. He knew he hadn’t left Noah and Kitty in the best way, but his revelation—the fact that he was becoming vulnerable—terrified him. He wouldn’t follow his father’s footsteps. He couldn’t.
Noah held his fingers still for a moment, then began rubbing them in a circular motion. Shane wanted to remain aloof, to protect his heart, but Noah’s presence was warm and comforting. Despite his efforts, Shane’s heart softened and tension eased out of the air.
“It seems something spooked you back there,” Noah said.
“Something did spook me.”
Noah slid his arms around Shane’s neck. “What was it?” Noah tilted Shane’s head, his warm breath brushing over Shane’s skin. “You can tell me.”
Shane closed his eyes as Noah’s long, thin fingers roamed over his chest.
“Was it Kitty?” Noah asked.
“Partly.” Shane knew he was hedging the question, but he needed more time to think before he confronted either of them. He wanted what they were offering—God how he wanted it—but he needed to feel safe. He couldn’t let his heart be broken like his father’s.
Noah’s hands stilled. “Partly?” He removed his hands and moved around until he blocked Shane’s view of the water. “What are you trying to say?”
“That part of it was you too.” As soon as the words left his mouth, Shane wished them back. He didn’t want to hurt Noah, but he didn’t want to lie to him, either.
Noah’s face contorted with hurt and anger. “What did I do?”
Shane grabbed his hands. “Everything is moving so fast right now. I just need more time to sort things out.”
“More time?” Noah yanked his hands away and pointed at the cabin. “I thought what we shared in there was special.”
“It was. You don’t understand.” Shane reached out for Noah, but Noah pulled out of his grasp.
“Then what’s the problem? Why are you overanalyzing everything?”
Shane pressed his lips together, unsure of what to say.
Noah slumped his shoulders in defeat. “It’s Kitty, isn’t it?”
“Yes. No.” Shane shook his head and cradled his forehead in his hands. “Ah hell, I don’t know anything anymore. If I could just have some space to sort things out—”
“You keep telling me that, Shane. That you need space. That you are unsure of what you feel for me.” Noah crossed his arms. “I know my feelings for you.” He waited until Shane lowered his hands and looked up. “I love you, Shane. I always have. Don’t you love me?” Noah’s eyes shone bright with unshed tears.
Sure, Noah loved him now—that was the sex talking—but would he still love Shane six months, a year from now? He didn’t know, and he had to be sure before he gave anyone his heart.
Shane rose. “Noah, don’t do this. Just a little while longer, that’s all I ask.”
“Do. You. Love. Me? It’s a simple question.”
Shane thought about lying, but he knew it would only make the situation worse. “I-I don’t know. I care deeply for you, and the time we spent with Kitty was amazing.”
“But?”
Shane’s heart broke at the hurt he was causing, but he couldn’t help himself. He felt that he was on the brink of something big, something life-changing, and it scared the shit out of him. Why wasn’t Noah scared too? “I don’t know what to say.”
“You don’t have to say anything, Shane.” Noah unfolded his arms, turned his back, and stomped up to the cabin. Part of Shane wanted to run after him and explain what was going on inside, but he didn’t. How could he explain it to Noah when he had a hard time sorting it out himself? No, he had to be sure that what he was feeling was real, not a bundle of emotions caused by the moment. He also had to know Kitty and Noah weren’t going to abandon him and break his heart. Then, and only then, could he confess his true feelings.
Shane had spent enough time with his friend to know Noah was overly dramatic. He’d let Noah blow off some steam at the cabin and then go patch things up later. In the meantime, he had a lot to think about. He needed to come up with a plan, one that would convince him that what they had shared was real, and that it could last. He needed some sort of guarantee. But what?
On impulse, Shane stripped off his clothes and ran out into the calm, cool water, hoping the lake would provide him with answers.
It didn’t.
“What are you doing?” Kitty leaned against the doorway and took a bite of her blueberry muffin.
Noah glanced up from his suitcase. “Packing.”
“No.” Kitty popped the rest of the muffin into her mouth, walked into the bedroom, and sat on the bed next to the suitcase. “You can’t leave yet. Our deal was for the weekend.”
“I know. I’m sorry.”
“Why?”
Noah continued packing as if he hadn’t heard her.
Kitty muttered a curse and closed the lid to the suitcase, stopping his movements. “Don’t you shut down on me too.” What was going on with these two men? They were supposed to be having a weekend of fun. Instead she was mediating some sort of falling out.
After the men had left, she showered and went to bed to wait for them. And waited. Eventually she had fallen asleep and woken up in the late afternoon, alone. She’d gone to the master bathroom to freshen up, then to the kitchen for a snack. No men in sight. In fact, the entire cabin had an eerie quiet she’d found unsettling. There were muffins on the kitchen table—homemade, if the plastic container was any indication. So she’d grabbed one and wandered through the house. When she came back to her room, she’d seen Noah packing. Shane was still nowhere to be found.
This was not exactly the weekend she’d been envisioning.
“Noah.” She covered his hands. “What happened?” She waited until he met her gaze. “Was it Shane?”
“It’s always Shane.” Noah sighed, put down the camera, and walked over to the window on the other side of the room.
That didn’t sound too good. Kitty took a deep breath to steady her nerves. If mediating whatever had happened between the two men would get Noah to stay, then she was all for it. She found she didn’t want the Irishman or his auburn-haired friend to leave. Even in the short time she’d been awake, her demons plagued her. Kitty found herself thinking about her father and Velvet Steel. Stress enveloped her in waves until she found it difficult to breathe. She needed the men to help her forget. And if that meant settling the argument…
“Tell me about it,” she said.
“There’s nothing to talk about.”
“Clearly there is.”
He frowned at her, then turned back to the window.
“Look, I can’t help either of you if I don’t know what’s going on. Did you catch up with him after he stormed out of the bedroom?”
“Yes.” He hardened his jaw and crossed his arms as he leaned against the windowsill.
“Did he tell you why he ran off?”
“Yes.”
She stood and closed the distance between them. Noah looked hurt. Her heart softened toward him. Kitty knew what it was like to feel vulnerable and inadequate; she felt the same whenever she thought about her company’s finances. Kitty felt a kindred spirit in Noah, an instant connection she hadn’t felt with anyone else, ever. Unable to help herself, she wrapped her arms around his middle. “What did he tell you?”
“You don’t really want to know.”
“I do.”
Noah turned in her arms and looked down at her. “Why?”
She shrugged. “Because I care about you.”
His features relaxed. “No one has ever told me that before.”
“Not even your family?”
He shook his head.
“Not even Shane?”
“No, not even him.” With a shaking hand, he reached out and cupped her cheek. “You’re such a treasure, you know that? You deserve better than us.”
Kitty closed her eyes and leaned into his hand. “I don’t want anyone else.” She opened her eyes. “I want you and Shane.” She loosened her grip. “Most of all, I don’t want you to go.”
“I have to.”
“Why? Tell me what’s wrong.”
“I-I can’t.” He shook his head. “It’s not you, it’s me.” He shook his head. “It’s this whole damn situation.”
“I’ve heard that before.” Kitty sighed. “Come here.” She led him back to the bed. After putting the camera and suitcase on the floor, she sat in the middle of the satin sheets. “Sit down.” She patted the mattress next to her.
“Kitty, I—”
“I don’t know what happened, but I know Shane cares about you.”
“No, he doesn’t. He doesn’t care about anyone or anything except his job.”
His job? Kitty had never thought about the two of them having jobs before, never really thought about them both having lives. The fact that they had jobs and arguments just cemented in her mind that they belonged to a different world, one she could never be a part of. It made her sad and full of self-pity. She had been wrapped up in her job for so long she’d never really gotten a chance to live. Just because her life was ruined didn’t mean Shane and Noah had to ruin theirs as well, at least not while she was around. They had a good thing going and only needed to see it for themselves.
“He
does
care. I can see it in the way he looks at you.” She leaned forward, allowing Noah to see down her shirt to her ample cleavage. “I need you too, Noah.” She smiled and took his hand. “You’re kind and understanding.”
He snorted. “I am not.”
“Are too. I saw the gentle way you handled me the first time we had sex, and how you changed your mind and granted my unspoken request while the camera was rolling.” She thought back to how she’d felt him hesitate along her backside. She had known he wanted to take her there, but she longed to feel his thick cock in her pussy, just like she had felt Shane’s. Noah was in tune enough with her body to understand what she needed, putting aside his own plan to accommodate her whim.
“You’re very affectionate, Noah, and special. I wish I had someone like that for myself. If Shane can’t see how lucky he is, then he’s a fool.”
“No one has shown you affection?”
Sadness weighed heavy on her soul as she thought over her life. Her father had loved her in his own way, but he was distant. She didn’t have any real friends. When she was young, people had been more interested in her rich family than her, and as she got older, work became more of a priority than forming friendships. “No one.”
“Certainly your father has shown you affection.”
She frowned. “No. Don’t get me wrong; he loves me. He just loves his work more.” She sighed. “I think that’s a big reason why he refuses to sell Velvet Steel. It’s his whole life. He’d be lost without it.” She looked away and swallowed the lump in her throat. “I’d be lost too.”
Silence surrounded them as her words hit home. Kitty realized she’d never be able to convince her father to sell Velvet Steel. It meant too much to him. He’d ram it and the entire family fortune into the ground before admitting defeat. That meant Wednesday’s meeting was going to be a bust, and she was doomed to watch his entire life’s work fall apart, brick by brick. How depressing.
“A boyfriend, maybe.”
She looked up at Noah. “What?”
“Surely you’ve had boyfriends who have showered you with affection.”
She shook her head. “I don’t really date. People find me intimidating because of my family name.” She took his hand in her own. “I’m not sure if it’s my father or the money or what, but people seem to be afraid of me.” She brought his hand up to her face and kissed it. “I work too much to have a real relationship anyway.”
Noah snorted. “I know what you mean.”
“Believe it or not, Shane is a lot like my father. Emotionally distant. Just because they don’t say the words ‘I love you’ doesn’t mean they don’t.” She inched closer. “I know he cares deeply for you. That’s a rare gift in this world. I wish I had it.”
He cupped her cheek and raised her head until their gazes met. “You do.”
Tears filled her eyes. “Thank you, but you can’t possibly mean that. We’ve only just met.”
Noah stared at her long and hard. He looked like he wanted to say something. Did he feel the connection too?
“I know we’ve just met, but for some reason, you seem to understand us better than our own families.” He shifted his gaze to her mouth. “It feels like I’ve known you for a lifetime.” He lowered his head and kissed her lips. Kitty leaned forward and touched his chest, giving herself up to her rising desire. Hunger charged through her veins like rush-hour traffic on a highway, stealing her breath and her thoughts.
Noah moved both hands until they framed her face, then tilted her head so he could deepen the kiss. He kissed her with an urgency she could feel and generated a need only he could fulfill.