Vengeance of the Demon: Demon Novels, Book Seven (Kara Gillian 7) (25 page)

Shaking, I pushed myself upright and closed the door. I made a tentative mental reach for Mzatal but pulled back when I felt nothing. I didn’t have it in me to extend and try again. Not now. Couldn’t face that possible loss yet.

I abruptly realized Eilahn had gone silent and unmoving, and a fresh wave of misery settled over me. Had she known about Rhyzkahl and Idris? I found it difficult to believe she had, not that it mattered at this point. I wouldn’t blame her one bit for being furious at me for blurting that out. Even if she wasn’t, I was angry and upset enough at myself for both of us. “Eilahn?” I said tentatively. “Are you okay?”

“I am well, Kara Gillian,” she replied, voice steady and without the faintest hint of anger. She
was
disturbed, though. I’d known her long enough to recognize how unease manifested in her human form. A faint crease between her eyebrows. Her lower lip jutting out ever so slightly. No. She hadn’t known.

I lowered the window, suddenly desperate for air or a breeze or maybe a tornado that could suck me up and away from all of this. A few seconds later Eilahn lowered the window on her side, though her forehead remained creased.

A breeze drifted through, bringing an earthy aroma of grass and moss and pine that clashed with the stench of hot asphalt. The buzz of cicadas mingled with the
rat-tat-tat
of a woodpecker, and in the distance a hawk screamed. I dropped my head back against the seat and tried to chill, but I couldn’t stop reaching mentally for something that wasn’t there. I also couldn’t stop trying to figure out where we went wrong. How had Katashi been so certain we’d show up? Yes, we’d followed clues, but none of them were glaringly obvious. In fact, if we hadn’t listened to that phone call, we never would’ve . . .

Shit.
We’d gobbled up their lures like hens on corn. Angus McDunn had worked with Bryce for fifteen years. He knew how thorough Bryce was, and he’d been confident Bryce would find the “dropped” piece of paper that led us to the horse farm and Catherine McDunn.

My mouth tightened as I replayed the conversation in my head. It had all been an act. If she hadn’t dropped the info about the calls from Angus, we wouldn’t have heard “number six” and known where and when to walk into the trap. Yeah, she was good. I couldn’t wait to have another nice chat with her—as soon as I stopped feeling like pounded shit.

“That was fucked up how Kara dropped that on you.”
Pellini’s voice, barely audible and only because the breeze was right. I peered ahead and saw Idris sitting on the grass ten or so yards in front of the truck, head in his hands and elbows on his knees. Pellini sat crosslegged a half dozen feet from him. I slumped down a little so I could still see, but not be quite so obvious I was watching them. I was already an asshole for using personal information about Idris as a weapon. No need to add to it by flagrantly invading the privacy he needed right now.

“
It can’t be true
,” Idris said after a moment, voice unsteady.

“Well, so what if it is?”
Pellini replied with a shrug. I knew I should close the window and stop being an intrusive jerk, but I didn’t.

A motorcycle zoomed past, covering Idris’s reply. “
Look
,” Pellini said, “
one thing you do know is that you have a fuckload more potential than you ever imagined
.”

“
I guess so. If it’s true
.” A pause, followed by an incredulous, “
The demonic lords have
children?”

I snuck a quick glance at Eilahn. I suspected she’d been surprised by that detail as well.
Note to self: don’t ever let anyone entrust you with a really sensitive secret ever again. Dumbass.

Pellini blew out a breath. “
I’ve known Kara a long time. She can be a stone cold bitch when pushed too far, but I’ve never seen her lie or throw out something that big without knowing for sure
.”

Wonderful. I was a bitch who knew her shit. This was a prime example of why eavesdropping was a Bad Idea. Yet I still didn’t raise the window. Hell, I deserved to hear any and all criticism. Plus, I was nosy.

“She’s my cousin.”
A rustle of grass and gravel as Idris stood. “
Tessa is my birth
mother . . . and Katashi has her
.” Even from this far away I heard the dread and horror in his voice. Katashi had brutalized his sister. Idris had no reason to believe Tessa couldn’t be subject to the same fate even though Katashi treated her well now. “
I’m going to kill him
,” he said, rage in his voice once again. Gravel crunched as he strode toward the truck.

“
Idris. Stop
.”

To my surprise, he did.

Pellini clambered to his feet and caught up to Idris.

“You and I need to get something straight,” Pellini said. The words carried clearly with them nearer. “I didn’t ask for any of this shit, but since I’m in it neck deep the only thing I can do is make the best of it. Because of that, because I’m on this team or posse or whatever the hell you want to call it, I consider you a teammate. I’ll go the distance for you and pound anyone who tries to fuck you over.”

Silence as they faced each other.

“But?” Idris finally replied.

“It’s not a ‘but.’ It’s an ‘and,’” Pellini said, voice hard and uncompromising. “
And
the same goes for Kara. She’s my teammate, too. As wrong as she was to dump that crap about your parents on you, you were just as wrong to tell her it’s no big deal that she lost a fundamental aspect of who she IS.”

Damn it, my face was getting all wet again.

Pellini wasn’t finished. “This arcane and demon-summoning shit is everything to her. She doesn’t know it, but I’ve done a shitload of checking up on her. I’m pretty sure that becoming a summoner saved her life when she was younger.”

Wait, what? He knew my history of acting out with drugs? Jeeeez.

“So if I hear one more fucking word from you about how it’s better for everyone that she had the craft she loves ripped away from her,” Pellini continued, tone harsh enough to melt stone, “I’ll pound you flat, and I don’t care who the fuck your daddy is. Y’got me?”

“Yeah,” Idris replied, all belligerence gone. “Yeah, I do.”

“Good,” Pellini said, friendly again. “Let’s get back to the house so we can regroup and figure out what to do next.”

I stabbed the window button as they approached, relieved when Eilahn did the same. A few seconds later the guys climbed into the truck and closed the doors. Pellini pulled back onto the highway, and we rode in taut silence.

After several minutes Idris cleared his throat and gave me a sad and uncertain look. “Sorry I was a dick.”

I nodded. “Sorry I dropped a bombshell like that on you.”

He returned my nod, and I knew we were cool again.

“Katashi has my mother.” His shoulders tensed.

“He’s been her mentor for thirty years,” I said, unable to keep the stress from my words. “For what it’s worth, I don’t think she’s in danger.” I hated that. And I hated that I hated that. I didn’t want her to be in danger. But I also didn’t want her to be so close to Katashi.

“He’s not soft.”

“No,” I said. “But he rewards loyalty.”

He stared out the window. “Especially if it fits his plan.”

Idris made a quick call to Bryce to tell him things didn’t go as planned but everyone survived—in about as many words. Aside from that, the ride back to the house remained devoid of conversation.

The quiet gave me way too much time to obsessively review the entire incident. I ached for a nugget of information that would miraculously reverse what happened to me or give me a shred of hope that the effect was temporary. When that line of thinking grew too frustrating, I gave myself a headache by trying to sense the arcane, mentally “squinting” into a spectrum I could no longer see.

But at least I didn’t feel the need to puke anymore. Woo.

Pellini pulled up to the gate and hit the button on the remote. I straightened. “Y’know, we should go to the store while we’re out. We need laundry detergent.”

Eilahn put a hand on my arm. “Enough detergent remains for forty-three normal loads. Your request is irrational.” She opened her door as I scowled at her response. I really
really
wanted to go to the store. Why was that irrational? “Remain in the vehicle,” she commanded, stepping down from the truck. “Vincent Pellini will drive behind me.” With that, she closed the door and walked toward the gate.

My annoyance gave way to bafflement. “What the hell?”

Idris grimaced. “Aversion wards. They’re attuned to you.”

“Of course they are,” I began, then my heart sank. I cast a despairing look at Idris. “No. They
were
. They were attuned to the me who had an arcane signature. They don’t recognize me as me.” Because I wasn’t “me” anymore.

Pellini winced and muttered a curse but kept watching Eilahn as she worked. Idris let out a heavy breath then climbed out to help her. I dropped my head back against the seat, gut aching as if I’d been sucker-punched. The urge to do random shopping eased as Eilahn and Idris reworked the wards, but left sick emptiness in its wake.

Pellini followed the pair to the house, parked and killed the engine. He looked at me with worry, but Eilahn bundled me out of the truck before he could speak. Idris set out toward the backyard without a word to anyone.

“You will take a long bath,” Eilahn told me. “That always lifts your mood and helps you relax.”

Pellini headed into the house. I paused at the bottom of the steps and struggled without success to
see
the warding, to
feel
the nexus.

Eilahn nudged me forward, and this time I didn’t resist.

Pellini was already in the kitchen when I entered, and Jill and Bryce sat at the table.

“There’s meatloaf on the stove,” Jill said to Pellini. Her eyes rested on me, gaze filled with deep concern. She knew me too damn well to miss that I was a wreck.

I couldn’t stomach the idea of rehashing the nightmare with the others. “You should go to the nexus,” I murmured to Eilahn. “I’ll take a bath.” She offered no protest, a clear indicator of her exhaustion. After escorting me to the bathroom, she trudged down the hall and out the back door.

I closed and locked the bathroom door, started the water and shed my clothes. Scars still covered my torso, hideous remnants of sigils I could no longer sense. I twisted to look in the mirror at the small of my back. Szerain had activated the twelfth sigil there—the only one that wasn’t a scar anymore. It should have glowed a gorgeous sapphire blue.

Nothing. Not a glimmer. Was it simply invisible to me, or had it been deactivated along with my arcane ability?

Straightening, I stared at my reflection. The sight of the scars destroyed the last thread of my stoic façade
. If I have to lose my abilities, why couldn’t these terrible things go as well?

Stupid question.
Because that’s how shit goes for me.

Lower lip trembling, I stepped into the tub and slid down. The water was only a few degrees shy of scalding, but I barely noticed the sting of it. Eyes closed, I steeled myself to test what I’d put off, dreading the answer. “Mzatal,” I whispered. Even with him withdrawn, I’d always been able to sense his presence when I tried. I opened my eyes, called to him, mentally reached.

Mzatal
.

Nothing.

Mzatal.

Tears blurred my vision. As a final, giant fuck you from the universe, I’d lost the remaining wisp of my connection with Mzatal. Katashi had severed me from the arcane
and
my lover—a lover who needed me as much as I needed him. My silent weeping turned into heaving sobs drowned out by the sound of running water.

When the water began to lap at the edge of the tub, I pulled myself together enough to shut off the faucet, then lay back again, wrung out and exhausted. I wasn’t ready to get out and go to my bedroom. I didn’t want to see or talk to anyone. Didn’t want to face all the reminders of what I’d lost. I soaked in the heat and hoped it would fill the gaping void.

A light tap on the door was followed by, “Kara?” Jill’s voice, heavy with concern. “You need anything?”

“No,” I said then added, “thanks.” I rested my head against the edge of the tub and gazed up at the ceiling. “I just need a little time.”

“Okay,” she said though she sounded no less worried. “If you get hungry, there’s meatloaf out here. And ice cream.”

“Thanks,” I said again and left it at that. A few seconds later I heard her footsteps retreating down the hall. I closed my eyes, not worried about falling asleep in the tub. Not with my mind jabbering as I struggled to make sense of the loss and twisted injustice of it all. When the water cooled to where it was barely tolerable, I let some out and ran more hot water in.

Eilahn was wrong
, I thought. The bath didn’t help. It wasn’t bringing my arcane senses back. It didn’t change what happened to me one bit.

Well, maybe it helped a little. I didn’t smell like vomit anymore. I slid down until my ears were beneath the surface, and sound became surreal, distorted, and muted. I pretended that the outside world didn’t exist and that it didn’t matter that I wasn’t a summoner anymore or that I couldn’t feel Mzatal. I stared at nothing and clung to my sliver of peace as hard as I could.

A knock on the door echoed oddly through the water in my ears. “Hey, Gillian.” Pellini this time.

“What.”

“About time to come out, don’t you think?”

I had no idea how long I’d been in here. Nor did I care. I wanted to stay in the tub. Didn’t want that ripped away from me too. “I’m
fine
.”

“I didn’t ask if you were fine or not.”

I twitched in aggravation, lifted my head out of the water. “Leave me alone, okay?”

A pause. “For five more minutes. I’ll be back.”

“Don’t bother,” I said. Two minutes or five minutes, I’d have the same answer for him. I squeezed my eyes shut and slipped fully under the surface, and came up only when my lungs started to ache. All of my senses returned to normal except for the
other
which remained nonexistent.

Pellini’s heavy knock rattled the door again. I had a feeling he’d given me more than five minutes, but it was still less than “as many minutes as I damn well wanted.”

“Come on out,” he ordered.

“Leave me alone,” I ordered right back.

“I’m not going to do that.”

I pressed the heels of my palms against my eyes. I knew he was worried I’d do Something Stupid, especially since I sounded nothing like my usual perky self.
But it’s my house. My bathtub. My time. My skin that’s wrinkled like a Shar-Pei.
And I’m
fine
.

All I wanted was to be left alone in my own fucking bathtub. How goddamn hard was that to comprehend? And who the hell did he think he was, anyway? My dad? Fuck that shit. I hadn’t been able to fight back against Katashi and McDunn, but I could hold my ground against Pellini and this particular invasion. “Five more minutes,” I lied.

He blew out a breath. “No more minutes. Get the fuck out of the tub.”

“Go. Away.”

“I’m counting to three, then I’m coming in for you,” he said in an uncompromising tone. “Your choice whether to grab a towel or not. One . . . Two . . .”

“Leave me the fuck alone!” I yelled. Tears of frustration stung my eyes. Where were Bryce and Jill for all of this? Were they hanging back and watching Pellini be a jerk-ass control-freak buttinsky?

Apparently so, since the next sound to reach my ears was the
click
of the lock in the doorknob. Son of a bitch. Other than the door to the basement, all the locks inside the house were the cheap-ass kind with a center hole requiring only a nail or wire to unlock.

“Three.” He entered and closed the door behind him, a flicker of triumph in his eyes.

Dismay washed over me. Not only was I stark naked, but no one had cared enough to rush to my defense while he invaded my space. With a sob-cry of rage I hurled a bottle of shampoo at him, but he ducked and deflected it with his forearm.

“Get out of the tub, Kara,” he said with infuriating calm.

I no longer cared that I was naked. Hell, he’d already seen my
everything
after I died and came back to Earth in the PD squad room. “Why can’t you leave me alone?” I demanded, voice cracking.

“Because I’m an asshole,” he said. “Get out of the tub.” He picked up a towel then had to duck again as I slung a bottle of conditioner at him.

I seized the body wash and cocked my arm back. A lot of different people had been living in this house, and there were at least a dozen bottles of hygiene products within my reach. I could keep this up all night, and would, if it meant winning this battle.

Pellini regarded me with narrowed eyes and pursed mouth. My arm trembled as I held eighteen fluid ounces of Silky Peach Blossom Skin-Nourishing Body Wash, but if I lowered it at this point in the standoff, it would be admitting defeat. I watched the thoughts tick through his head, and I wondered if he’d resort to dragging me bodily from the tub. I couldn’t even hope for Eilahn to save me if he did. As drained as she’d been, it would be several hours before she budged from the nexus.

The shaking of my arm increased due to my own exhaustion combined with the hot water and lack of food. But before I could chuck the bottle at Pellini to avoid holding it any longer, he shrugged and began to unbutton his shirt.

“All right,” he said. “If you won’t come out, I’ll have to come in.”

I sputtered in shock and let the body wash drop into the tub. “No! Fucking hell, are you nuts?”

He stripped off his shirt and dropped it, then untucked the less than fresh white t-shirt beneath. Not that I had any room to judge freshness or lack thereof considering how gross I’d been before my bath. “Get out of the tub and stop me,” he challenged as he wrestled the t-shirt off.

Did he really think I would cave that easily? I crossed my arms over my chest and glared at him in defiance. No way would he drop trou in front of me. He was bluffing. I was certain of it.

He unclipped his holstered gun from his waistband and set it on the counter, then reached under his belly for his belt buckle. I tensed but managed to hold back an outright flinch. He was bluffing. He
had
to be. I remained immobile while he unbuckled his belt and undid the button of his pants. Any second now he’d stop and switch to a less humiliating tactic. Right? Then again, he didn’t look like a man on the verge of humiliation. He calmly tugged the zipper down, giving me a glimpse of red and black striped boxers, then took hold of pants and boxers at his hips and—

“Shit! Stop!” I grabbed for the towel. To my relief he took his hands from his waistband, though he waited until I pulled the plug before zipping and buttoning his pants again. Scowling, I yanked the towel around me and climbed out of the tub. As I pushed past him, I thought I saw a hint of relief in his eyes, but then again I’d been convinced he was bluffing, so how was I to know? I stomped down the hall and into my bedroom, slammed the door, then sat on the edge of the bed with the towel clutched around me. Part of me knew how irrational my thinking was, and the rest of me grudgingly admitted that Pellini’s concern wasn’t at all misplaced. Still, the sight of him calmly disrobing was one that would stick with me for a very long time.

Something touched my back. I startled and twisted to see what it was, then stared in surprise at the sight of Fuzzykins. She lifted her head and gave me a
Mrowr?
—perfectly normal and without a hint of hate or growling or hissing. She bumped her head against my arm, and the ache within me tripled. She hated summoners. But she clearly didn’t hate me anymore because I wasn’t a summoner.

I scratched the silly cat’s head, and she rewarded me with a thunderous purr and more head butts, followed by full body rubs against me. Okay, I could
almost
see why Eilahn liked her so much. Exhaling, I continued to pet the damn cat, mostly because I didn’t have a choice in the matter. She seemed to be making up for all those months of being so nasty to me. I tried to withdraw my hand, but she hooked it with her paw and pulled it back for more affection. Fine. Maybe she’d stop puking in my shoes.

I froze at a light knock at the door. “It’s me,” Jill said as the cat jammed her head against my hand again.

“
You
can come in,” I said. No way in hell did I want anyone else in here with me.