Authors: Rachel Blaufeld
“Fuck, slow it down, T,” he whispered, always the one not to forget that this meant more, or we thought it did. Sex wasn’t a placeholder for emotion for Tiberius, and he refused to allow it to be one for me.
He gathered my body close, my pebbled nipples touching his smooth ones as I rode him gently. As he lifted up to meet my thrusts, I clenched my muscles around him, biting my lower lip to avoid moaning in ecstasy. Tiberius ran his finger across my lips, and I smiled while moving my pelvis back and forth, taking every inch of him.
“Love you, Rex.”
I loved that he didn’t use my real name. I loved that he said that while we made love, changing my opinion of the whole act, making it symbolize our feelings and commitment. I loved that he always gave the truth to me.
A lone tear dropped from my eye on his chest and he flipped me over, bracing his weight on one arm as he showed me how much he loved me, slowly moving in and out of me. I felt every stroke of his length until we both came hard, clutching each other as the fire crackled in the background. Like us, it never really fizzled; it always sparked under the surface.
When I got up to go clean up, I whispered, “I love you, Ty,” then tossed another log on the fire so it continued to burn brightly. My hope was that we would continue to burn brightly as well, and the beauty of the moment wiped away any doubts.
For now, anyway.
After checking out, Tiberius and I went back to the townhouse and ordered food with the players who’d stayed on campus. The tiny Christmas tree we’d bought before Tiberius left was still on the table, decorated in green and white tinsel for Hafton. Whether it was a symbol of what was to come or what had been, I wasn’t sure, especially with the guys’ taunting and teasing.
“Hey, Tingly,” Lamar called out to me, “you have a good time with our guy last night? Stole him away from our post-game celebrating.”
His comment made me blush, stripping away any remaining post-sex glow from my mood. A tiny trickle of regret dripped down my spine. Was I taking Tiberius away from the team? The guys were his only family now . . . was I ruining that?
Lost in my thoughts, I barely heard Tiberius yell, “Shut the fuck up, Mar. Don’t be jealous!” But doubt had crept back up inside me, not allowing my brain to process his words.
The remaining days of the year passed with Tiberius practicing, me running, and eating dinner with our teammates. Chey and Stacy were back on campus after forty-eight hours with their families; it was nice to have them around again. We watched TV and hung out while the men’s team used the field house—the women’s team always got second pickings.
Through all the camaraderie, I forced a smile and tried to be social, but I couldn’t get the damn devil off my shoulder. It gripped me with its talons, whispering in my ear that I was all wrong for Tiberius, distracting him from what was important, tainting his life with my crap when he didn’t need it despite what I felt back at the B&B.
Two days after Christmas, Ginny had texted to say she was back on campus and staying with Bryce. I couldn’t help but think how much had changed since early fall. She’d been single, a young girl with a crush on a boy she’d been assigned to tutor. I’d been single, jilted and heartbroken by my professor. We’d both been focused on our sports and studies, loners when it came to our social lives.
Now we had boyfriends—also both athletes—and crazy roommates who were up in our business. Our lives kept intersecting, Bryce encouraging the football team to have my back with my very own teammate, Logan, and the basketball team becoming fixtures in our dorm suite. Our seasons were over, but we were woven even tighter into the overall athletic fabric of the school.
But I couldn’t help but wonder: Was that what was best for Tiberius? I’d over-involved both teams with Logan and stolen Tiberius away from team gatherings.
By New Year’s Eve, Ginny was off again to see Bryce in a bowl game, and I was at a basketball game, even though I wasn’t sure I should be. I’d begun to see myself as toxic when it came to Tiberius, believing that he was the only positive in the relationship while the negativity from my baggage leached into every crevice and corner of campus.
Everything in our lives had changed, but for how long? Despite growing up in such extreme wealth, I’d never really known stability. Ginny seemed almost complacent, but I was too nervous to even feel settled.
My stomach was doing more than its usual churning, butterflies battling in my belly, as I sat in the field house waiting for the game to start on New Year’s Eve. When someone tapped me on the shoulder, I almost jumped out of my seat. A shiver ran down my spine when I turned to the left and saw an enormous man sitting next to me. His cheeks were ruddy and his belly hung a bit over his pants, but you could tell that in his day, he’d been attractive.
“Tingly?” he said, his voice gruff and deep. When I nodded, he extended his hand. “Coach Smith.”
Slipping my hand into his, I tried to give my firmest handshake. “Nice to meet you.”
“I’m sure you’re curious as to who I am and why I’m here.” He spoke but kept his eyes trained on the court where the two teams were warming up, and I nodded. “I understand you’re involved with Tiberius Jones.”
Another nod from me. I had no idea where this was going, but I was afraid to speak or say anything that would hurt Tiberius.
“Tiberius is very talented. We expect him to be a full-time starter next year. We went to great lengths to recruit him, and we like to keep our star players happy. We also like them to be free from distractions like complicated relationships.”
Tight bands constricted my chest, and I pinched my finger hard to keep from crying.
“Well, we hear things in the locker room, and I know your parents recently made a visit to campus with Dr. Dubois.” He turned slightly in his seat, his kneecap brushing my thigh for a moment. “It’s none of my business what happened between you and the professor, but when it affects Tiberius, it is. We’ve all done stuff in our pasts, and I was under the impression you had put that whole episode behind you. But that’s not what I heard in the locker room. The guys got involved in a scuffle with your dad? And Dr. Dubois was there? I heard Tiberius was very upset over the whole incident.”
“Sir,” I said, turning my focus on his large forearm resting on the armrest. “You can rest assured that I’m done with Dr. Dubois, but with all due respect, you’re not my coach, so your opinion doesn’t matter. Coach Wallace believed in me enough to let me back on the squad. I don’t really know you, so I’m not sure why it matters other than you think I’m going to screw something up for your team. I’m not.”
Without waiting for his reaction, I got up and left. It was time to end it with Tiberius.
Even though I put on a tough face with the coach, I knew he was right. My fears had proven to be true: my family was back to screwing everything up for me. Tiberius didn’t deserve that. He should have better. The best. He should get sweet and good from now on—neither of which was me or my past.
Tivoli. Toast. Tuna. Taylor Swift.
I had to stop the stupid game immediately because Taylor Swift only made me think of the night the guys were concerned I would turn Tiberius into a Taylor Swift groupie.
As if.
M
y phone pinged with a text message.
TIBERIUS
: What happened? I thought you were coming to the game?
ME
: Something came up.
TIBERIUS
: You coming to the party?
ME
: No. I’m not feeling great. You go, though.
TIBERIUS
: I’m coming over.
ME
: Please don’t. I want to be alone.
TIBERIUS
: WTF?
I didn’t respond. Powering down my phone, I slid in between my cool sheets and cried myself to sleep. A short time later, I heard Tiberius knocking on the door and ignored him. Ginny was out and the women’s team was on the road, so I was all alone on the brink of a new year.
Which was exactly what I deserved.
I felt his gaze on me before I fully woke. Prying my crusty eyes open, I saw Tiberius in the corner of the room, watching me sleep. He was leaning against the wall, one foot on the floor and the other resting on the wall behind him.
“Ty?” I asked. “How did you get in here?”
“I have my ways. What’s going on, T?” He pushed off the wall and paced my room.
I swallowed. “You shouldn’t be here. First, I really don’t think I would like to know how you got in. And second, we need a break. It’s too much, too fast.”
“What?” He whipped around toward me, his face tight with tension and anger. There was no hint of his adorable dimples anywhere.
“We need a break,” I repeated. “Please leave.” I sat up in bed, pulled my knees up and wrapped my arms around them, trying not to rock back and forth in despair.
Tiberius narrowed his eyes on me. “That’s junk, but you know, I’d never not respect your wishes so I’m trapped. And that’s junk too because
you know
I’m gonna leave. I don’t know what happened, but I’m gonna figure it out and fix it, Rex. I’ll be back,” he said. “You’re not acting right, and that’s such bullshit.”
His basketball shoes barely made any noise as he stomped out of my room. Either that or I didn’t hear it over the loud thumps of my own heart, although I did hear the slamming of the door behind him. It reverberated throughout the empty dorm suite, along with my shock at how easily he acquiesced to my request.
Obviously, he believed this was for the best. Either that or he really meant he’d be back.
The first few weeks of the New Year passed in a blur. A new semester had begun with different classes and a new schedule, but I was very careful to not share my schedule with Chey or Stacy. I knew the team was trying to find me, corner me, and gouge my eyes out or worse.
“Girl, Jamel is hot to find you,” Chey told me at least once a day. “You better run faster.”
No way in hell they were going to let this lie; this being pushing Tiberius away with no warning whatsoever. I varied my comings and goings, walking to class different ways each time. I was like a fugitive on the run when it came to my former life and the men’s basketball team.