Vexed by a Viscount (10 page)

Mama had been so confident when she spoke of a woman’s reluctance in these matters. She hadn’t even been surprised by the squire’s advances. Was Prudence’s reaction really just a product of her unpreparedness and surprise? Had it been compounded by her unseemly attraction to Ash?

It was possible.

And in that case, perhaps she truly did have a duty to work through this. She had made a promise, and she had no real choice but to follow through on it.

After all, she was a dutiful daughter, and that was what a dutiful daughter did.

The list popped into her mind, and she almost smiled. Thank goodness for the last item. She had a feeling she would need the liquid courage that spirits offered before walking down the aisle to Squire Hubert Jeffries.

A
sh paced back and forth beneath the oak tree, anxious to know whether Prudence would come or not. It was already ten minutes past midnight, and there wasn’t a single movement from the garden. He’d thought about her all day, wondering off and on what the devil had happened to her, and whether or not she was well. The look she had given him as they passed on the road simply would not leave his mind.

At long last, he saw a pale figure moving down the garden path. He hurried forward to meet her at the gate, but came up short when he saw the white sling holding her right arm against her front.

“Good Lord, Prudence—what happened to you?”

Her smile was dim, not nearly as welcoming as he’d become accustomed to. Was she in a terrible amount of pain?

“’Tis only a sprain, thank goodness. I fell from the squire’s carriage today, I’m afraid.” Though the watery light of the moon whitewashed everything, he would have sworn that her face seemed extra pale. Certainly she was subdued. He briefly considered wrapping her in a comforting embrace, but quickly dismissed the idea. He didn’t want to risk hurting her any more than she already was.

“Well, based on the way the man careened out of your drive today, it’s little wonder you were hurt. What happened, exactly?”

She shook her head. “I’d rather not talk about it. Suffice it to say, it was all my fault.”

He made a sound of disbelief. “I don’t believe that for a minute. In all my years on this planet, I’ve never known a person to simply tumble from a carriage without cause from the driver.” At least not without the aid of drink.

“We weren’t even moving at the time. I was foolish, and I’ll know to be more careful next time.”

Who was this stiff and stilted young woman before him? Where was the daring and sweet girl he had so come to enjoy? Something about the way she was holding herself, about the careful word choice and, more than anything, that look she had given him earlier, told him there was more to the story than she was letting on.

Allowing the subject to drop for a moment, he held out his arm. She accepted, albeit with noticeable hesitance, and allowed him to guide them beneath the tree to the wrought iron bench. He waited while she took a seat, then settled down beside her, turning his body so he could more easily see her as they conversed.

“Now, would you like to tell me what really happened?”

Her eyes widened before she quickly dropped her gaze to her lap. “It’s a personal matter, really. I would rather not discuss it.”

“Come now. I’ve seen your bare shoulders, watched as you ate an entire plate of dessert, and danced with you at midnight in this very spot. What could possibly be so personal that you don’t wish to discuss it?”

He saw the tiny flare of temper in her gaze before she snuffed it out. “I am about to marry the squire, Ash. The things that go on between us are none of your business.”

A hot, sharp stab of something very close to jealousy flashed through him. He didn’t want to analyze it, but he did suddenly want to put his fist in Jeffries’s face. If the bastard did anything to hurt her . . .

“Pru, what did he do to you? Tell me now, or I swear I will march to his house this very night and call him out.”

“What?” she said, snapping to attention. “Don’t you dare! Nothing out of the ordinary occurred today, I can assure you.”

“Good. Then you won’t mind telling me about it.” He crossed his arms stubbornly, refusing to back down. Something was very wrong. He sensed it as surely as he could feel the cool night breeze against his skin. He felt fiercely protective of her just then, and was considering calling the man out even if she did tell him what happened.

She pressed her good hand to her eyes, shaking her head. “Nothing of note. We are to be married in a matter of days, so of course he should want some time alone. It is to be expected.” She sounded as though she were repeating someone else’s words.

His eyes narrowed. “Did he do something you were uncomfortable with?”

Her short, hollow laugh pierced his heart. “Didn’t you know? As a female, it is only right and expected that I should be uncomfortable with the physical aspects of a relationship.”

“What utter drivel.”

She gaped at him, clearly shocked at his response. He leaned forward, wanting her to hear what he was saying. To really listen, and not retreat into this odd, introspective mood of hers.

“Whoever told you that knows nothing of matters of the heart. If a woman wants to be with a man, the thought should be very,
very
comfortable. The idea of his touch should lift her heart, the thought of his kiss should bring butterflies to her stomach. She should want to be with him above all others.”

He slipped a hand beneath the fingers of her left hand and squeezed. “Whatever happened today that caused you to fall from the carriage isn’t the way things have to be. You deserve more than that. You deserve to feel all those warm and good things about the man you are to marry, just as he should feel the same way about you.”

He flexed his fingers, tucking her hand into his. It felt completely natural to touch her like this. To be beside her in the garden at midnight, doing nothing more than talking. Blowing out a breath, he met those beautiful eyes of hers, which were luminous even in the moonlight.

“Haven’t you ever
wanted
to be with a man? Thought about him when he wasn’t near, and had trouble tearing your gaze from him when he was? Haven’t you ever dreamed of kissing him with such longing it was hard to breathe?”

God knew he’d enjoyed the company of women in the past, but that wasn’t what inspired his questions. Sitting here, with Prudence’s hand tucked in his, he realized that he was describing the way he felt when he was with her. It was so unexpected, he didn’t even know what to think about it, but he was honest enough to admit the truth of it.

God help him, but he was more than a little attracted to the girl next door.

***

P
rudence was losing herself again.

In his eyes, in his touch, in the soft, gentle sound of his voice. This was why she almost hadn’t come. This was why she knew she
shouldn’t
have come. She was drawn to him in every way he had just described. It was as though he could see exactly how he affected her, and had given words to those emotions.

How had he known? Had he somehow felt them as well?

This was all so very dangerous. She should have listened to her mother and simply focused on the man she would marry, not the man she desperately wished she could be with. She swallowed, trying to draw on her dwindling ability to resist that unerring charm of his.

But he reached out, tucking an escaped lock of hair behind her ear, effectively wiping out her defenses. “Haven’t you ever wanted someone so badly, you didn’t
want
to leave his side?”

Her breathing quickened as she stared back at him in the darkness, lost in the feeling of his bare skin against her temple. Her lips parted, but no words came to her. She wanted to say
yes
, she had known each of the desires he had spoken of. Yes, she felt them all over the last few days. Even now she felt them as she sat utterly still, soaking in his presence as parched earth welcomed rain. After the misery of the day, the emotions assailing her now were all the more poignant.

She wanted to lean forward. She wanted to close her eyes and wait, to have him close the distance between them of his own volition because he was feeling the exact same desires, blast it. Looking in his eyes, she knew she wasn’t the only one feeling something. The emotion in his darkened gaze sent a sparkling frisson of awareness straight through her.

He slid his fingers ever so slowly down the curve of her jaw. His touch was as light as air, more a suggestion than anything. When his fingers reached her chin, he paused, then gently urged her to tilt her head back. She didn’t resist, didn’t even breathe. How could she, when her whole body seemed to be thoroughly beneath his spell?  

“Wanted him so much,” he continued, his voice a mere whisper in the darkness, “that all the rules just fell away, until it was just you and him and the unspoken connection burning between you?”

She licked her lips, wanting to tell him yes, but knowing she’d never be able to come back from such a confession. “Have you?” she murmured instead.

A ghost of a smile flitted across his face. “Definitely.” He drew a slow breath, then reluctantly dropped his hand. It joined his other, both of them wrapping securely around her left hand. “Which is why I can’t stand to see you stuck in a situation that would deny you such a thing. Anyone as sweet and lovely as you deserves happiness.”

The tenderness in his voice somehow made things worse. Did he think she didn’t
want
all those things? Every part of her was crying out for them, yet she had to face reality. She had given her word and for better or worse—much, much worse—her fate was decided.

“Since when do we get what we deserve in life? If that were the case, nothing bad would ever happen to good people, and vice versa. I am marrying the man I have chosen, and it matters not how he makes me feel.”

A frown tugged at the corners of his mouth. The connection that had so thoroughly entranced her slipped away as he shook his head. “You are deluding yourself if you believe that.” His voice was surprisingly sharp, his gaze unnervingly direct. “You have to be by this man’s side for the rest of your life. I find it hard to believe you are willing to endure your distaste of him in order to follow through on a promise that your
parents
probably made for you.”

It was uncomfortably close to the truth. She pulled her hand away and shoved it beneath her sling. She had spent the entire evening thinking the matter through. There were so many reasons she couldn’t just change her mind. She wasn’t some selfish child, ruled by her own whims and desires. Breaking the rules had been fun for a short while, but that wasn’t who she was. She was a woman who thought of others, not just herself.

“That is unfair. I could have said no when he asked for my hand, yet I chose not to.” In theory, she
could
have said no. It was never an option in her mind, but technically she could have.

“You didn’t choose his hand,” he countered sharply. “You chose your parents’ directive. There is a difference.”

She lifted her chin. “My choices and reasons are my own. If we are only going to sit here and fight about the matter, then I might as well go home now.”

He gave a quiet growl of frustration. “Because that is what you do. You retreat instead of fight. Look at you. You practically maimed yourself to get away from your betrothed today, yet you still intend to marry the man. It boggles the mind.”

His censure hurt more than she would admit. Why did it feel as though everyone was attacking her today? She scowled at his shadowed form. “This is my duty and I
will
follow through with it. Why must you vex me so?”

“Because you deserve so much more,” he said, his voice ringing with earnestness. “I want you to see that. To acknowledge it. To
believe
it.”

“So you say, yet are you not in the same situation?” Exasperation weighed on her tone as she tried to make him see how unfair he was being. “What is the difference between my marrying the squire and your marrying your Lady Tabitha?”

He scoffed at the comparison. “She’s not an ancient old lecher, for one.”

“No, she’s not. But neither does she have a thing in common with you. She’s still a child, for heaven’s sake.” She pointed her good hand at him, leaning into her argument. “You are following your parents’ dictates, same as I am. You don’t want to admit it, but you are no better than I.”

“I never said that I was better—”

“Yes, you did,” she exclaimed, turning to face him more fully. “Not in so many words, but you are judging me nonetheless.”

Sighing, he raked a hand through his hair, thoroughly mussing it. “Because I want you to be happy.”

“And what would bring me happiness? Spinsterhood? Being disowned by my parents?” She had gone through her options a dozen times in her head. Her future was decided and the sooner she accepted it, the better off she would be.

“
Love
. Love would make you happy.”

She reared back, shocked at his pronouncement.
Love
? It was almost cruel for him to bring up such a thing. He was the only person she could imagine herself in love with, yet he was as unavailable to her as the man in the moon.

She shook her head, emotion clogging her throat. “You say that, but is that not what you deserve as well? And yet you bide your time for a bride to grow up, so you may enter into the exact sort of marriage as I’m about to.”

Coming to her feet, she looked down at him, regret and sadness heavy in her heart. “Before you carry on any further calling my kettle black, you may well take a look at your own pot. In the meantime, I bid you good night.”

Remarkably, he stayed silent as she walked away, allowing her to make her grand exit. The true irony was, she had never wanted to be called back from a retreat more in her life.

W
hen she’d said good night to Ash a week ago, Prudence hadn’t realized that she had really been telling him goodbye. When she’d learned he had departed Malcolm Manor the very next day, without a single word to her to mark their parting of ways, the sense of betrayal and abandonment was so keen as to be a physical ache. They had one disagreement, and he simply left? She had thought they were friends.